The RSPCA

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is a cunt.

Swindon advertiser

This venerable body have published advice on what to do if you find an injured mouse or rat in your garden.

Use a towel to pick it up, gardening gloves should be worn as injured animals may nip. Place in a plastic ( not cardboard) container. Put them in a safe place out of reach of family pets. Contact a wildlife charity or vet for advice on getting treatment.
As a cautionary note, as you’re now St. Francis of Assisi, be prepared for the animal to be euthanised!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! Are these cunts mad? Take a disease ridden rodent to a vet? Not on planet Priest.

JPs advice. Get your shovel out of the shed. Wear gardening gloves as a wood splinter hurts like a bastard. Using the sharp edge decapitate the fucking thing. Now, using the flat side scoop the remains and either place in your garden incinerator or in a plastic bag, which you should then knot and place in your household waste bin.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

68 thoughts on “The RSPCA”

      • No, Arf. Just not scrolling down this thread. I expect there’ll be a few heroic war stories of rodenticide.

        There are cunt humans – and their pre-planned, malicious ways – I’d rather hear about being killed than innocent, albeit somewhat dangerous, rats.

        To them(innocent critters), *we’re* the cunts etc.

        I’m a catch and release man, myself. I’ve euthanised 2 I found injured, separate incidents, rather than leave them to suffer further.

        Anyhoo…

      • With you on that C. Drove my rural relatives mad with my refusal to take part in blood sports. Ratty can’t help being Ratty so when we humans provide oodles of food and shelter what are they supposed to do? An ex neighbour saw one in the drain side at the end of her garden had a fit called pest control. He charged her £400 put down five bait boxes. I hate rat poison the poor bastard literally bleed to death. I removed the bait pellets from the boxes when she was out. Never saw another Rat, never had to euthanise any. There are many more things to worry about than Ratty.

      • None taken, Jill.

        I find it rather hypocritical of a charity to put all the emphasis on the person who finds an injured, Weils disease spreading rodent to accept responsibility for obtaining treatment, when they have the bleeding heart begging bowl out constantly.

        We’re all entitled to have, and express, our own opinion.

  2. The woman that used to live a few houses away from me had a cat.
    It was a pleasant enough little thing.

    The Russians dog from the next road got loose one day and bit the cat clean in half.

    Two parts of the poor little fucker laying there on the sand.

    The woman picked up the two halves, wrapped them in a blanket and rushed off to the vets.

    Ever the optimist.

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    • My neighbour ( the one with the druggie cunt of a son who still hasn’t paid me for the fence) had a cat which she allowed to roam.

      A woman several houses away had a Chow, which ran through two thick privet hedges to get at the cat, and did something similar. Quite revolting it was, and exactly why my cat remains indoors.

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      • We’ve always kept cats Jeezum, usually two or three though at the moment we’re down to one. We’ve always let them roam, they don’t actually travel more than a couple of hundred yards from home at most and know their manor intimately. On several occasions one has been chased by a dog and they climb the nearest tree at a prodigious speed. They then sit patiently just out of reach of the mutt and watch it running round and round the tree barking and going bonkers. Funniest part is watching it’s equally dim owner trying to drag it away.

      • The Elder has a cat who roams freely, however they live in an area of low and slow moving traffic, with plenty of wild growth areas safe from cars and dogs.

        I unfortunately live on a main bus route/drag racing strip, where the pet of choice is an unneutered bully or staff breed, kept chained up in a back garden and not particularly condusive to feline safety.

  3. Occasionally seen a rat in our garden. I find my .22 air rifle at close range really slows down the little fuckers. Pick up one that’s injured? Do me a favour!

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  5. I think that the advice was not for people of our generation.

    Animals die.
    They don’t respawn at their last checkpoint.

    If you find a non-domestic animal in your garden or elsewhere that is looking like it’s injured, it is probably on its last legs and going to die.

    Sensible advice would be to leave it where it is.
    Don’t try and pick it up because it is probably covered in fleas.
    Also, other animals need to eat. Think about the natural food chain.

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    • I had a pigeon fly into my kitchen window. It sat in the garden for hours. I left water out for it, thinking it may just be dazed. In the end I shot it in the head with my .22 and disposed of it by a field. I’m sure a fox had a nice meal, that or the crows. It was the most humaine thing I could do, it was obviously quite badly injured. No one should take pleasure in killing animals, it’s a bit sadistic. That being said pest control is necessary, and also a legal obligation.

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  6. All very well, RSPCA, but elephants are a bit more tricky to deal with as Tupperware® don`t make industrial-sized tubs.
    🐘

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  9. came home one day and there was a deranged woman outside my house screaming.
    Turns out my dog caught a rat in the back garden (we had lovely Romanian neighbours who used their garden as a bin).
    Any way went into the front room and there was a fuck off big dead rat there, I should really have skinned it to make a rug, so dogs looking at it disappointed because it was broken and didn’t want to play anymore.
    Turns out, wife was in the kitchen when the dog ran in with his duck toy, just it wasn’t going quack it was going squeak, she investigated it and freaked out when she realised it was Rolland!

    Mind you I remember when one of the cunters mentioned that his cat brought a Bat into the house!

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  10. An injured rat? Leave well alone, I have seen just how agressive, especially when cornered, these creatures can be. My favourite was when my neighbour cut ones tail off, with a garden shovel, which was sticking out from under his shed door. It screamed the place down, & my neighbour was lucky that it didn’t get out.

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    • My late mother Lord S, told of how when she was a little girl in the 1930s she was close to two young girls who had cornered a rat in a derelict building. One girl was poking a finger towards the rat in a threatening manner when the rat leapt forward and sank its teeth into the end of her finger and clung on tight. A man in an adjacent factory heard her screaming, came out with an industrial size stillson wrench and screwed it down on the rat’s neck. It let go.

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  11. Has the RSPCA ever tried to pick up a injured rat?
    May nip?!!!

    Itll sink it’s filthy incisors into your hand and hiss at you.
    Who gave that advice,
    Forrest Gump?

    Just kill it.
    Brick, shovel, whatever.
    And then sell it to a nice chinese couple for tea.

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  12. Fatballs.
    Sorry not calling you names.
    Fatballs to feed the birds draw rats.
    Dont buy them.
    We had them in the apple tree.
    Next thing rats in the garden.
    Took a while to kill them all.
    Nightmare.

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  13. I’ve not had a rat problem since the Berserker jet washed their next into oblivion, I’m very glad to say, as in previous years hedgehogs have used the underneath of my shed as winter quarters.
    I love the little slug eating thugs!

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    • I had issues with rats on my allotment but couldn’t put poison down due to the chickens, or wave a gun about because its a public space.

      Enter Saddam’s old mate chemical Ali,

      a 5/1 mix of thin bleach and brick acid in a plastic watering can and down the hole, Chlorine gas! never saw them again!

      Please use a modicum of sense when doing this, you are producing a toxic gas so appropriate PPE should be worn

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  14. Slightly O/T, but on behalf of all cunters, I`d just like to congratulate Taylor Swift on her engagement to Travis Michael Kelce (an American professional football `tight end` for the Kansas City Chiefs, whatever the fuck that means). Anyway, speaking of tight ends, how would any of you cunterati feel about plundering Taylor’s fragrant clunge after knowing that Travis had already been there?
    🏈

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  15. I’d rather leave it there in hope the other rats (pigeons) come pecking at it then bag the pair of them…💥 anyway aren’t the rats now the size of cats! You’d need an under bed storage box for the fuckers 😩

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    • RSPCA are useless cunts.

      I feed foxes and badgers every night.
      Theres a vixen thats been coming a few years,
      This year her cubs came with her,
      Now grown to young adults.
      But she’ll come right upto me if ive not got the dog with me.

      Then i noticed she had bald spots on her sides.
      And tail.
      Itching,
      Mange.

      I contacted the RSPCA and still waiting for a response.
      Someone mentioned Stockport fox rescuers.
      They are giving me medication for the vixen free of charge.
      So after work tomorrow im dropping of some bags of dog food and a donation.

      Fuck the RSPCA

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  17. What noble sentiments, it’s a refreshing change to read about people’s concern for living creatures. No really it’s depressing to hear these sort of views expressed by those who would expect heaven and Earth to be moved if they were to be found lying injured somewhere. Well there are plenty of folk who do have some decency and would lend a hand simply because it’s the right thing to do. I sincerely believe that everyone should get what they deserve.
    As far as the RSPCA is concerned, all these people who are moaning should be thankful because without them, they’d have a whole load more animals causing a nuisance around their property. I’ve had dealings with several animal charities and none of them are perfect, but the RSPCA is the best by a long way.

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    • Maybe you could adopt a disabled rat from the RSPCA Alan?

      As you know actions speak louder than words.
      Ps
      You could call it Jeremy.

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    • Now, now.

      I’m sure Allan is right. We should follow the RSPCA advice and take injured rodents to a vet, where they will euthanise them by putting them in a bell jar and pumping it full of cyanide gas.

      Much more humane than a swift death, not to mention all the extra time it would spend suffering while you dithered about finding someone who actually could be bothered. F

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  18. Spot on, JP. The RSPCA are greedy, grifting cunts.

    As for rats, Gene Wilder summed it up nicely in ‘Young Frankenstein’ “Don’t be frightened, dear, its just a rat. A filthy, slimy rat.’

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    • The documentary ‘Willard’ will tell you everything you need to know about rats. Don’t bother with ‘Ben’ though. It is shit.

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  19. It goes in the dustbin. Done it many times after the cats have got at them.

    The RSPCA are shit anyway. A good few years ago, a foal was behind our house in the field. It was not getting up. It turned out it had been born with larger legs than it should have had. The weight of them was holding the poor little creature down.

    The Mrs phoned the RSPCA. They just dithered and talked shit. Everything from entice the horse with food and get people to lift the animal up. Fucking useless. After about three hours, the cunts finally turned up. The poor young Gee Gee had to be put to sleep as it was in great pain. But it didn’t have to needlessly suffer for hours, did it? The RSPCA were a joke that day.

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  21. Rats caused the plague.
    They arent our friends.

    I hate rats.

    Rats, wasps, fleas and Palestinians.

    Even god said so.
    ” thy shalt not suffer a rat to live.
    Set the dogs on it.”
    Corinthians

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