Highwaymen are cunts.
Silly of me I know but I’d assumed half starved vagabonds accosting weary travellers had died out with Dick Turpin et al..
How wrong can a cunt be?
Very it seems, although this one is imported, from Germany…doesn’t appear very Aryan to me but my eyesight is not what it was.
(I double checked and yeah, not very Aryan – NA)
Another in my more than occasional series, the BBC Sob Story.
Just up the road from Howarth, this caper is most certainly not from the pages of Wuthering Heights.
Dear me.
Stand and Delivered by : Unkle Terry
Two boxes of cornflakes in the house?
Clearly a cereal offender.
Hang him.
23
Footpads.
Thats what they used to be called round here.
Muggers.
It was a hanging offence.
And it would of been by brigands without kelloggs in the pantry.
And not pakis.
15
Who does he think he is, Dik Dik Turban?
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Im a Ghandi highwayman
You’re to scared to mention
I spend my cash
On looking flash
And grabbing your attention…
11
Mohamhead take your job and your benefits collection
The way you look you’d qualify for next year’s Sharia pension.
It is very gratifying when cunters pick up on an implied joke. Well played Paul & MNC – NA.
10
Daki’s took me dinner.
Me money and my wife.🥁🎵
3
What the frig was a ‘Fa Diddly Quar Quar’?🤔🤣
If I told you, I’d have to kill you – NA.
2
Why didn’t he go shoplifting, its not like plod would bother investigating that..
Another one of those tenth generation Yorkshire men I keep hearing about.
21
Another cunt of a judge.
‘He was trying to get money for his family’
And the judge fell for that one.
Has he never heard of food banks?
I bet the German Pákí and his family have, but maybe they hadn’t been to one for a few days.
Nobody starves in the UK.
15
We’re home to some of the fattest poor people on the planet.
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And that Odin is a clearly demonstrable fact …
We see them every day – tattoo covered, nose-ringed, iphone carrying, fat fuckers.
What always surprises me is that they claim to be poor even when they’re on the bennies. What they mean is they ain’t getting as much money as they want!
Lazy fuckers …
9
If that cunt is 19 then I’m the fucking queen of sheba
5
What the fuck does hasn’t eaten properly mean. Eaten irresponsibly more like it.
8
Was it during Ramadan 😂
10
Ding dong. Spot on Sick of it.
7
He’s a blackguard without any doubt.
5
A couple of weeks ago I was buying lunch at Tesco and some pair of skagheads were bothering people to buy their stuff at the checkout.
My meal deal was £3.60. Their two cans of monster, an ice cream and a mars bar cost £6.10.
As you can imagine, their request to Buy their food please, because they’re really hungry was met with a rather fierce “Don’t take the piss, you cunt. I’m already paying for you to be useless and I’m not paying for your luxuries too”.
Judging by the looks on their faces, I would say they hadn’t been told to fuck right off in no uncertain terms before.
They left empty handed.
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Scum
5
The scum de la scum.
Hitler’s leftover gas was made for them.⛽☠️
But, it begs the question, why haven’t Tescos barred these living excrement?
3
It all sounds like a load of fucking bullshit, he came from Germany after suffering domestic violence but then it goes on about his family only had cornflakes in the house.
What is he, German or British, one thing for sure he looks like a P*ki
All cunts, deport deport.
12
The cunt should have been flogged all the way back to his ancestral home,Berlin..it appears.
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Gimme some o’ that good ol’ enrichment…
Morning all.
10
I can understand the cunt doing what he did ….the cornflakes in the house weren’t the honey nut one’s so it sent him over the edge, understandable after all they’re irresistibly moreish…stand and deliver whoa,whoa, honey nut or your life huh🎵🎵
12
Fuck him, fuck his lawyer. He took a blade with him, premeditated, he chose a weak victim. He could have gone into a supermarket and walked out with a triollet of food.
Back to Germany with yiou cunty!
15
The Cornflakes this cunts talking about, is the dried skin from his grandmothers flaking corns, but didn’t have any milk to put on them, or sugar for that matter.
8
1) Shock BBC headline speaks only of “Malnourished teenager” and is careful not to mention ethnicity until further in the article. “Malnourished” trying to get the readers’ sympathy before laying all the facts.
2) Domestic violence? what a clip round the ear from his old man for acting the twat?
3) Not a Highway man just a Highway scrot.
4) A Youth Offenders Institution ? What’s wrong with “breaking rocks in the hot sun”
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‘Farasat Ahmed laid in wait’
Fuck me the BBC’s staff are borderline illiterate. Laid what? An egg?
Glad I don’t pay for it.
With regards to the story, is Bradford completely enriched or are there still proper Yorkshire folk up there? I remember visiting the place 25 years ago and everyone was Asian even then.
10
It is okay with me if they bring back highwaymen, cut purses, footpads and all the cavalcade of 18th century criminal classes. They had a certain savoir faire that is totally missing in Two Kweer’s Britain. It would also be okay by me if they brought back prison hulks, Tyburn tree, Newgate, and deportations. At least in those days you knew where you stood. Steal a gentleman’s snuff tin and it would be the rope. Brilliant.
Good afternoon, everyone.
15
A highwayman called Thomas Saperg was hung in chains from a tree near me in 1757 at the site were he lied in wait before he carried out his crimes. With due resect though, he never robbed the ladies, known at the time to be having a traditional sense of honour, not something I would expect from the low life cunt in this nom.
8
To Tyburn tree with him dangle until dead. Unfortunately in a young offenders institution he will get three meals a day. Put some meat on him with lots of pork products. Cunt.
7
Faye Dunaway was the greatest Highwayman of all. According to Michael Winner’s fine documentary, from 1983, she wore thigh length boots and was was very handy with a whip.
9
Raquel Welch (RIP) in The Magic Christian.😍
Her character was named The Priestess of the Whip.
6
Hi Norman, there was, of course the British horror classic “House of Whipcord” -about a middle aged couple living in suburbia who use their house as a private prison. Corporal punishment was never far away, obviously. A fetid brew and no mistake!
4
I remember that one, Twenty.
Don’t make ’em like that any more.👍
2
I recall also seeing a then 38 year old Raquel Welch on the Muppet Show of all things.
My left wrist was nearly permanently knackered that night.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojegHx3LfE4
3
Wuthering Heights, revised
I had imagined a capital fellow! However,
when I beheld his black eyes and swarthy skin withdrawing so suspiciously under his brows as I rode up, I could scarcely believe my resolution.
‘Mr. Heathcliff?’ I said.
“Jaaawadda kalif daaa” was the answer.
‘ I do myself the honour of calling as soon as possible after–‘
“Give me money or cut your neck. Allah, aCKBAAAAR”
“Are you from Scotland? You look malnourished. What a fright”
“Jiddda jidda, Kalla me kill you. ”
“Is Alan Ackbar your…. ARGHHH” She fell from her horse with a machete through her.
“Jidda jidda, Allaah Ackbaaar God’s country”
8
I did see a ‘re-imagined’ Wuthering Heights on telly a while back.
Heathcliff was some treeswinger with Tourettes. All he said/shouted was ‘Cunt! Cunt! Yer fuckin’ cunt!’. Straight up.💩
There was also a diabolical film version in the 90s. Where Baldie Fenian Fuck, Sinead O’ Cuntor ‘played’ Emily Bronte.🤢
Funny, I didn’t know Emily had an Irish accent and I didn’t know she was bald. Hilariously bad, it really was.🤣
10
A shame we have no real highwaymen anymore, as we do have Stagecoach buses.
8
That old series of Dick Turpin (with Richard O’ Sullivan) was pretty good.
But, I am thinking that modern ‘highwaymen’ are like Somalian pirates.
Probably the same colour and all.
7
I actually saw Adam and the Ants in concert on their ‘Kings of the Wild Frontier’ tour. I was with a bird who was mad on Adam at the time.
They were good though. That two drummers sound really had a kick. And, Adam was a proper showman. One of the very last great British pop stars.
Two of their better tracks on the OGWT….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fKbJRsn11M&list=RD_fKbJRsn11M&start_radio=1
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So why didn’t he rob a food bank?
6
Foods banks became obsolete when labour came to power.
That was the evil tories..
Everyone is well nourished now.
Well lammy is..
9
Lammy keeps several of Deliveroo’s illegal workers in full-time employment. Having them based in a local hotel is very handy for when Dave is peckish.
7
Why are we importing the filth?Silly me old Kweer is in charge 🤣🤣🤣.Hung drawn quartered.Vermin.
6
I dont particularly like cornflakes either.
I prefer Frosties.
Theyrrrre great!!!
5
me and mrs WCMcF just back from three months in thailand and the frosties there are shit, no frosting hardly and they were but a pale immitation of British ones, was really disapointed. used them up though as i had paid for them
4
Stanley The Parking Footpad ! 😲
Well goodness gracious me !! 😀
Good afternoon 👍
6
Just watched True Grit.
” Well come see a fat old man sometime ! ”
Splendid
7
This case tells you just about all you need to know about the parlous state of this fucking wet wipe country of ours.
This cunt should never have ended up here, not in a million fucking years.
The sooner it kicks off big time, the better. Winner take all.
Fuck it.
11
Never had you down as a ABBA fan jack.
More AC-DC.
6
Eclectic tastes !
Alright Baz ? 👍
4
I was until I got a letter to appear for jury duty on Saturday.
Nine fucking days..
Oh well I will have to be more bigoted than normal to get out of it.
How are you and Ethel doing.
5
HANG HIM!!!!
4
I will become judge dredd.
5
Here you go Miserable
Have some early 80s rock before it went all spandex and permed hair and cowboy boots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB1wnFtpecU&list=RDNB1wnFtpecU&start_radio=1
1
No thanks Harold.
Im more a creme brulee man to be honest.
https://youtu.be/sAhZGjUdlQI?si=E9rAmoISKzJL-cGTcreme Brule
3
We’re tickety boo, I’m glad to say.
Just getting ready for a jaunt to Gloucestershire.
I was called for jury service some years ago. I managed to wheedle my way out of it by claiming that I’d lose customers.
It’s possible that I could be called again.
If I am, anyone deemed far right by the establishment gets a free pass.
Everyone else is fucked 😂
7
Baz just bin it don’t reply to them works a treat.
0
I was a fan of Abba and all.
I remember that old saying about the Swedish superstars…
‘When it comes to pop music, Abba are hard to beat.
Half of them would be very easy to spank, but that’s another story.’😉
1
Look a right cunt if his chosen victim run the count through cos they had a sword stick and realised he was a skanky bastard when they first laid eyes on him. Being hungry is not really a valid excuse to threaten a woman with a knife you fucking spastic. Hang the cunt at the spot he committed his crime.
6
He never was a cornflake girl
Thought it was a good solution.
Starting to think Paul Kersey had the right idea and I’m nice.
Tell you how nice I am. I saved a hedgehog that was wandering about the road when it was really hot a couple a months ago.
Got it some water and put it in a box in my garage with some meal worms that I put out for the birds and some dog food (the dog wasn’t happy but that’s a minor detail.)
6
Always fancied giving Tori Amos a go back in the old 90s.
A bit of a mad bird, but classy. That would have done me.
4
For some strange reason, I have had this in my head all day yesterday and today. Not heard it for years, but it just appeared out of nowhere.
Over to you, Brian…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjjuY5qetnw&list=RDgjjuY5qetnw&start_radio=1
4
As a kid all the neighbours kids were mates.
I grew up over the road from a park.
Ideal👍
One of the kids Roy, his mam an dad got divorced and he went away to live with his mam.
He reappeared a few years later.
There was a knock at the door.
I opened it to find Roy with feathers tied in his hair and a white stripe painted across his nose.
Hed become a early fan of Adam and the Ants.
Roy ” you playing out?”
MNC “eeh… naw.
4
Only band I ever dressed like was the Happy Mondays. The ‘casual’ or ‘baggy’ look was first done by Shaun and the boys. The Stone Roses looked a fright from 1984 to 1987. Mani joined in late 87 and made them look better, as he was a proper casual. I remember getting a pair of parallel dark green cord Wranglers off the Arndale Market in 1986. Gary Whelan (an old workmate and the Mondays drummer) tipped me off about this bloke on the market who had all these vintage strides in new condition.
4
Do you still have the maracas norm?
3
I also knew the first Mondays manager, Phil Saxe, Barry.
Can’t count how many of their gigs I went to.
Was made up when they ‘cracked it’. The Roses get the press and the nostalgia trip (and they were great from 88 to 90). But the soundtrack and the band that defined Mcr then was the Mondays.
1
Once at secondary school, I was startled to see one of my classmates turn up in full Boy George drag. Never saw any sign of that coming. I’m afraid the piss was taken mercilessly, but at 50 odd years of age now, I quite admire anyone who could walk through a council estate like that in 1980.
3