is a cunt.
There’s always one!
Say hello to Bhoomi Chauhan.
Anytime there’s a disaster, there’s always at least one cunt who goes yapping to the press with their ” I missed death by seconds/minutes/ two yards” story.
It’s like when that submersible imploded, the number of people who claimed they were supposed to be on board was ludicrous, to the extent that there would have been eleven folk in a space intended for four.
Anyway, despite 240 passengers and an unknown number on the ground dead as a result of the Air India plane crash, and many others injured, the BBC News chose to publish this article about a publicity seeking nonentity, who missed being on board the flight due to heavy traffic.
Go by a lottery ticket, because you’re a lucky cunt, but spare us your non-tragedy tale, loads of people weren’t on the flight love, you’re not special.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
Fuck this cunt. I hope she falls down an open manhole and dies today.
That is all.
17
Her surname is either Sikh or Hindu.
I hope that her seat was given to a Muslim.
17
🎶 Always look on the bright side of death 🎶
12
Probably 11A, a dark skinned Indian bloke from Leicester by the name of Vishwash Kumar Ramesh.
0
The meeja just loves a ‘the night I nearly died’ story from any z-lister or non-entity.
They’ve got to fill up the space with something.
Morning all.
10
Is that her name or the chefs special at the local curry house.
I would rather strap feather dusters to my arms and flap than fly air India.
12
Imagine the smell
7
Now that’s actually funny.
Three decades ago, I worked airside at Heathrow and the air India flight would usually land in the evening.
Stood talking to a mate and both of us chimed in at the same time “I bet it fucking stinks in there”.
My Dad recently did a cruise down the Ganges and has confirmed that it does indeed fucking stink on any air India flight.
8
Barry…that’s is fucking funny.
2
Whilst I have never visited India*, and never, ever intend to, I could easily have booked an airline ticket on that very flight if I was drunk and/or full of drugs; so I count myself extremely lucky for having survived this disaster. It`s a fucking miracle. Praise be to The Lord! Perhaps other cunters can share similar escapes from certain death.
🙏🏿
* ᵗʰᵉ ᶠᶦˡᵗʰ⁻ᶦⁿᶠᵉˢᵗᵉᵈ ˢʰᶦᵗʰᵒˡᵉ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ
16
You should visit the slums of Mumbai Sam then your mud hut and 6 miles to the bison piss infused water hole would seem like luxury
8
28 year old student, lives in Bristol with her husband… probably a fucking visa scam.
Spoke to the BBC’s Gujarati service, what the fuck is that.
13
I strongly suspect the real cause of that crash will be buried by the Indian government…
An enormous vindaloo pyroclastic flow and extreme mustard gas aftershock.
Oh dear me please.
10
You should lay off the cabbage vindaloos, Uncle.
🥬🤬💥
4
More to the point, though – why is the crash investigation taking so fucking long? They found the `black box` ages ago. Also, why don`t they make aeroplanes out of the same stuff as the black boxes as they always seem to survive any crash?
🛬
11
She should of been on the plane.
I agree.
Maybe in the luggage rack amongst the crates of chickens, beggars, and rolls of materials.
Death must be losing his eyesight?
Fuck off big bullseye in the middle of her forehead.
Kali ma, kali ma…
8
Mola Ram, Mola Ram, Mola Ram Sudha Ram…
5
She will regret everything and be left with egg on her face.
Wait, is that egg?
5
Why are her glasses so big?
Like van windscreens.
8
She could just have a tiny face.
😎
11
She doesnt go to specsavers she goes to Autoglass repair.
10
If she bust ‘em on a Friday night she’s need boarding up for the weekend.
7
*she’d – it’s me that needs fucking glasses!
3
She didn’t miss getting hit with the ugly stick, the flabby cunt.
7
i can smell her stinking quim through my phone, the smell of two weeks old jizz and vindaloo, it’s needs scrubbing with a wire brush and some brobat, I wouldn’t touch her with hazmat suit on🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
7
Why’s her bud-bud-ding-ding mark a big orange one and not a small red one?
7
Because shes not ripe yet
10
Her Names Bhoom
Orangey bhoom
9
I’ll bet she is fucking ripe! ☣️
5
Would you suck her nipples Tommy?
Mmm like Bombay mix.
4
So Boom Shack-A-Lak missed the flight because of traffic congestion..
Was it a twelve elephant pile up or sacred cow being worshipped..
Or more likely drivers leaving their tuk tuks to shit in the street..
9
You paint a vivid picture, Barry.
And one which is, in all likelihood, entirely accurate.
Boom Shack-A-Lak – LOL.
2
She’s using The Donald’s face cream on her forehead. Is it me or are her glasses fogged up as well?
7
Bhoomi? Sounds like a good name for a suicide bomber
4
Seth McFarlane was booked on flight 11 on the November 9 attacks back in 2001. I mean September 11 attacks. Those bloody Yanks and their inability to write dates properly.
A night on the booze on the Monday saw him miss his flight the Tues morning. That would mean no Family Guy since, no American Dad, Cleveland Show, Ted, The Orville and more… things would be a little different today, sliding doors and all that. Or butterfly effect. Different people would be alive and dead variously over those 24 intervening years.
What difference will little miss 15 seconds of ‘fame’s survival make I wonder?
A different voice on the other end of the line when you’re having a go at Amazon over something rhey fucked up, I suppose.
8
Why was she going to India anyway?
Forgot her purse?
I could of been aboard those 9/11 jets
But wasn’t
I could of been at the Manchester arena disaster
Wasnt
I could of been aboard the Apollo space mission that went tits up
Wasnt.
Ive just as good imagination as Bhoomi. And while this mr Ben approach to disasters is mildly entertaining.
One thing it isnt is newsworthy.
5
If I’d played the right lottery numbers last weekend, I would be a multi millionaire now.
My blood runs cold and I get a shiver up my spine every time I think how close I was .. only 5 out of just 6 numbers wrong….
Oh well, every cloud has a silver lining : don’t suppose anyone has the Daily Mail ‘got a story?’ hotline number handy?
4
Its the 11/9 ones I’d have been more worried about, Mis. Sorry, I was being pedantic.
1
Off topic
Robot Reeves crying at PMQs😁
Probably got dumped by R2D2.
Sir Kier says that he stands behind her.
Like he stands behind Ukrainian rentboys.
8
See the bags under her eyes, Rodney’s Ukrainian twinks must be keeping her up banging on the dividing walls,and Rodney’s reemed prolapsed arsehole
5
The Lego-haired droning witch has nothing to add other than squeeze the fucking taxpayer whatever way she can. These shitehawks are now talking about reducing the £20,000 tax free allowance on cash ISAs.
There should be some regulation against allowing incompetent/inexperienced/unqualified people to run the Cabinet. What next, dustman as brain surgeons? An utter fucking joke.
5
Talk about bags under the eyes, Barry, I called Cliff Thorburn, suitcase eyes.
2
Apparently Rachel Reeves was crying during PMQs today. 👍😊👍
11
Good.
The rest of the UK has been crying since that incompetent witch started to ruin everything she touched.
11
I hope it’s nothing trivial… 😁
10
I hope its terminal.
8
Apparently, her lord and master failed to confirm she’d still be Chancellor this time next month.
That’s because he’s probably not going to be PM this time next month.
2
Just watching the very pmq’s, Rachel from customer services looks buggered..! She’s got bags under her eyes bigger than the panniers on my CRF.
Ta Ta Rachel…😭
11
Crocodile tears
4
If my father hadn’t joined the army and sent to Malta at the beging of the last war I’d possibly be dead by now, where as I was born later during his compassionate leave in 1943. At least I’ve been spared a few more years in this hellhole.
7
I’d just like to state for the record that I fucking hate Indians.
I am forced to work with some of the cunts (they’re in India thank fuck). I absolutely cannot stand their pathetic pigeon English (written and spoken), their relentless heavily accented monotone and above all, their arrogance and sense of entitlement.
They can all fuck off. Then fuck off some more.
13
I think, Imitation Yank, they should shit in each other’s pocket, at least the streets would be much cleaner.
7
That would explain the smell, Sammy. And the flies.
6
Afternoon IY/Sammy.
Did you ever watch Fonejacker in the early 2000’s.
YouTube
6
Greetings and salutations, LL.
I’d never heard of Fonejacker but gave it a watch. Jeez! That’s exactly how they fucking talk. They do add “ings” onto the end of words and don’t get me started on their inability to understand the difference between plural and singular. Word order is also a massive challenge for them too. Fuckwits.
The following sentence is from an actual work email from one of these thick cunts:
I would request you to review this document and share your feedback to improve it better and accurate.
Dear lord, noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
This is the kind of shit I have to put up with all the fucking time. Constantly having to interpret their idiotic attempt at English and rearrange their words in order to make some kind of sense of it.
I’m not paid enough to deal with that crap. In recent months I’ve started to push back and so far, no one has complained. I’ll get idiotic shit like the above and I’ll reply saying I don’t understand what they’re asking for. Yep that’s right, I’m playing the cunt because they’re ignorant and I cannot stand them.
Did I mention I hate Indians? Gupta trash.
8
Afternoon IY. I did a lot of hardware support for Thames Water who had subbed out their software support to Wipro. I certainly agree with your point about their limited English. I’ve had the experience of speaking to one of their guys in India and hearing him turn to someone nearby and ask; “What does this word mean?” referring to a word I had just used. The other thing I became aware of is that many of them were related. Just one of numerous examples, I heard one of them say; “Hey uncle, what do we do about this.” I have also driven down to a data centre Bracknell in the early hours in response to one of their calls to be told on arrival; “No we’re not doing the job today, come back tomorrow.” The support they provided to Thames Water was rubbish but it was cheap. How far it contributed to TW going broke I couldn’t say.
3
The Fonejackers put my nerves on edge because they were mimicking people I can’t stand to be in close proximity of.
Had to give it some time before going back to normal life.
2
Yes clear off back to India
2
Chicken Bhoomi with lucky lucky rice please 🍛… i was also supposed to be on the flight but missed my interconnecting flight by having the 💩 from one of bhoomis relatives dodgy concoctions 😩
8
Shes a fame chaser.
Start a band if you want fame.
ChaPatti Smith group
The Bengals
The tanDoors
Bubbuddy Holly
Taj Mahall and the blues breakers
Or marry a Rolling Stone.
Ghandi smith.
7
I think she knew something – Off with her head
4
It sounds like Bhoomi should be thanking her incompetent arse scratching Indian driver who didn’t factor in traveling time for heavy city traffic and was late to the airport. Good job he wasn’t a German, Bhoomi would have been there on ze dot and excuses vil not be tolerated.
7
One of the thick cunts I occasionally cross paths with at work is called Bhoomika. I shit thee nay.
Speaking of shit, there’s another cunt call Pooja.
Maybe names like Dave and Steve are hysterical to them. Who knows? Who cares?
7
She’s probably got a twinge of envy about the guy who survived *actually being on the fucking thing* …
In her mind, he stole her thunder a bit, selfish man that he is…
The “survived an aerplane incident” that would get at me if I let it was the time the windscreen blew out of BA flight 5390 and the pilot was hanging out the fucking plane for 20 minutes, being held by the ankles by other crew, while his unconscious body thrashed off the outside at -17C and 400mph. They thought he HAD to be dead and the notion of giving up (co pilot was trying to regain control and land the thing through all this, don’t forget).
But they persevered. And got him down alive. The recreation for the Air Accident TV show is one thing .. but I’ve noticed one thing they omit in their CGI recreation is the guys fucking blood smeared all over the front of the jet from the actual stock footage of it’s landing and subsequent taxi-ing.
Sorry. got a little bit nostalgic for real stories – ones big enough to recall wven 35 years afterwards – … remind me what the fuck was this stupid, ugly cunt nobody whingeing about again?
Tim Lancaster was the captain of BA5390. He was back flying jeymts 5 months later, and for the subsequent 18 years unto retirement. I’ve already forgotten the name of this pointless cunt hereabove today …
https://www.businessinsider.com/british-airways-pilot-sucked-out-plane-mid-flight-survived-2024-1
5
Fuck you, autoincorrect.
^ EVEN 35 years later, and flying JETS
Typing annoyed doesn’t help.
Have some bloody fuselage. Doesn’t do the amount of claret justice, the amount that was still present even after being washed away by 400mph winds, that is …
https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5d7ef0a7a0bc9531307d12ff/1617914930849-EU6SG4XRXMIHYVUNOK0S/BA5390+Windscreen.jpg
4
Allow me to add a little to this incident. I was working at Birmingham airport around this time. Following the decompression and one of the cabin crew grabbing P1’s legs another member of the cabin crew observing the scene through the door onto the flight deck said; “You might as well loose him; he must be dead” to which the first officer now flying the ‘plane responded; “No, don’t loose him, he might go into the engine.” Engines on a BAC111 are mounted on the tail. Shortly after this event I had a ride down to Barcelona on the flight deck of this same aeroplane. Glad to report the windows stayed in place. The ‘plane had a reputation as a Friday afternoon job. Another pilot said to me; “As soon as I heard what had happened I thought, it’ll be Romeo Tango.” Some more detail here;
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Airways_Flight_5390
The 111s are long gone partly due to their impressive noise footprint. BA sold one of them to Umbongoland in Africa, Nigeria or Ghana or some such place and they crashed it a few weeks later.
3
I thought about it after posting the above – that the chance he’d damage the plane was a percentage of the call … but can I ALSO add that this fuck up was 100% the fault of the maintenance cunt working on the screen previously.
Didn’t bring his calipers to the parts stores, so instead of going back to get them selected the replacement ones ‘by eye’.
The fucking wrong ones.
You never hear if he was prosecuted. He should have been.
Just another lazy/workshy cunt, imo. Spare the rod and spoil the species.
2
The ‘ones’ being bolts that held the screen in place. 4mm too short in 5390’s case there.
Thinking back, the documentary said the mechanic had an old bolt with him & did a visual comparison to select the ones he fucked-up with … which belies to me that the cunt had no intention of putting in the extra couple of seconds to use a calibrated measuring device, as per regs in the aerospace repair industry.
I was told (at interview) back in my foray into commercial aircraft maintenance, that any damage, injuries or deaths caused by incorrect workmanship in that sector, was absolutely punishable legally… with mandatory prosecution.
And righteously so.
But in the dozens of episodes of Air Crash Investigation I’ve watched, never once do they mention maintenance-incompetence leading to jail time, and many of the accidents lead back to cunts at some point along the line being, well, .. cunts.
As many, if not moreso, than pilots overall, I feel.
0
I was supposed to be on the flight to Corfu from Manchester that crashed 40 years ago but wasn’t cos my mates girl friend couldn’t get the day off, I’m a lucky cunt I think I’ll phone the Beeb
8
I wasn’t born until 20 years after the end of World War 2. As a result, I wasn’t killed in the Blitz. Wow! How lucky was that???
Dialling now…ring ring, ring ring…
Hello. Is that the BBC News desk? Great! I’ve got another major scoop for you.
6
Unfortunately you’ve no chance as you’re not a paki or sand wôg.
I do hope you are having an otherwise pleasant afternoon.
3
It’s not bad, thanks Unkle.
Still at work (it’s only 12:40 PM here), but living the dream as always. Got a meeting lined up in a while with a gupta who wants to review a bunch of issues that are now urgent which I actually raised more than 6 weeks ago. Did anyone want to listen then? Noooooo.
If those cunts shut their vindapoo holes for a while, they might actually learn something. We live in hope.
Hope you’re doing great. Set the oven on high in case I need to deliver the gupta to you later.
2
Do you ever get fed up Imitation Yank, when hearing and reading over in the states the term two times instead of twice. It boils my spunk and prevents it from shooting out. Or am I wrong.
1
Hi Sammy –
To be honest, I haven’t noticed that one much. One expression that I do notice which gets on my tits is people saying “fourth” instead of quarter. I find that annoying for some strange reason.
The placement of the word “also” at the end of sentences is another gripe of mine. It’s an absolutely bizarre way of speaking. But hey, they’re not speaking English though, right? Cheers – IY.
1
Do you use ‘three times’ or ‘thrice’ in your everyday vernacular Sammy? …. 😄
0
If you think about it, we’ve all got a ” near miss” story.
I could have been in any number of multi-vehicle pile ups on the M1/M18, but wasn’t because I decided I couldn’t be arsed to get up at 5am.
Lets flood the BBC with our ” I escaped death” stories. Perhaps if we keep them busy enough, they’ll report on fewer stories that make you want to either vomit or run amok with an AK47 in a stroke-inducing rage.
8
Full tandoori oven please for the bud bud ding ding please UT
2