Glastonbury, a terribly sad tale.
Yurtel, a company that charged people £10k and upwards for tickets for Glastonbury with luxury glamping accommodation has gone bust!
Oh dear, how very sad, someone pass me a tissue.
Disappointed would be Festival goers, who made cash payments ( apparently the company would not accept payments by credit card) have been left high and dry after the company informed customers via email that they had gone into liquidation on the 8th May.
The same email advised them there would be no cash refunds.
When asked to comment, Glastonbury Festivals stated that Yurtel had not purchased any tickets prior to the 8th May.
My heart bleeds for these daft cunts, sorry, I meant poor people.
What business doesn’t take card payments for purchases of £10k to £16.5k? Can anybody spell scam?
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
Thanks for this Jeezum. I’m laughing my bollocks off.
‘The BBC approached Yurtel for comment’. I bet they did.
Unfortunately the directors were unavailable as they now live in the Bahamas.
Fuck me, anyone shelling out a 5 figure sum to hear Neil Young in his death throes and all the other dog shit on offer deserves nothing less.
32
Indeed, Geordie, a most gratifying tale of woe & thanks to Jeezum for sharing this!
I must say that after reading through the infantile BBC report I had to stifle a chortle at what poor Lydia went through …
“Lydia said `the only option` was to purchase tickets through Yurtel, with her parents also spending £16,000 to join her. [!?!]
She had booked tickets to go last year but had to cancel due to an operation. `I’m just absolutely gutted.`”
Did the op go wrong, I wonder?
🔪
19
Perhaps she had a colostomy Sam.
And speaking of the contents of a colostomy bag, surely Spasto reached its nadir in 2017. Who can ever forget the Eavis and Butt-Head Show?
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/whats-on/music-nightlife/glastonbury-festival-founder-michael-eavis-4210723
7
I’d pay a fortune to watch Neil Young in his death throes,GT.
8
What the fuck will Zoe Ball, Michaela Strachan and all the bright young things do now? Will Neil Young and Bruce Wanksteen have to pull out? Of Glasonbury, not Zoe, and co obvs. The BBC will no doubt reduce its live coverage. to a mere 6,000,000 hours. Oh,dear. How sad.Fuck off.
Good morning, everyone.
23
16 grand for a glorified tent.
Hahaha 😂
Ever get the feeling youve been cheated?
Serves em right,
Poseur pseudo hippies.
Kip in a wigwam made from discarded yoga mats tethered with dreadlocks!
Never trust a hippy🖕
24
Morning, MNC.
Glastonbury has been going downhill since Jethro Tull last headlined, back in 1982!
I must admit, I have never been. Too many old cunts dancing around in their Tena pants make me feel queasy.
22
Morning 20,
Ive been a few times as a youngster,
Never bought a ticket just jibbed in.
Its a great place for people watching.
Plenty of oddballs.
You truly learn to despise people.
Full of celebs nowadays.
I couldn’t imagine anything worse nowadays.
24
I saw Kylie Minogue at Glastonbury a couple of years ago.
But, instead of filming Kylie’s wonderous jacksie, the Beebscum instead focused on someone on the crowd wearing the miniscule gold Kylie style hotpants.
Only thing was (and how typical of the BBC), it was a fat repulsive bearded poofter. Who looked offensive and grotesque in those gold keks. Gassing would have been too good for him.⛽☠️
6
Well it wasnt me if thats what you’re getting at!
My hotpants are silver.
4
I thought the whole point of the Glastonbury Festival was living in squalor with high potential energy and the sexual urges of rhinoceros.
9
If Lydia or Louise still want to go to Glasto,
Im offering a deluxe tipi infused with positive vibes,
Positioned directly where 2 leylines conjoin, blessed by a real Navajo shaman for a very reasonable 3grand.
Cash sale😁
24
What fucking mugs, 10 to 16 grand for a fucking tent.
How the fuck did Yurtel go bust when ripping cunts off with overpriced camping 😂
I wouldn’t go to Glastonbury for anything less than 10 grand with a stay in a luxury hotel, a selection of attractive young ladies for my entertainment and they promise to keep the fucking noise down.
21
The Yurtel based company have fled to Mongolia where they are most needed every day of the year, rather than accompany some shitty old music festival of deadbeats.
7
That Yurtel must be stupid.
Right fuckin Goldmine!!
Alright theyve robbed few hundred grand off a bunch of goofy Islington crystal healing types.
But if you did it every year you’d have a cracking business!
Few army catering tents tie dyed.
Call them Dream caverns,
2 grand a head. 👍
22
I think they’ve seen the error of their robbing bastard ways, Mis and gone back to where they’re most needed.
6
Mongolian nomads have organized a fundraiser for the displaced peoples of the Home Counties with emergency yurts and dried reindeer shit to burn for keeping warm.
21
No sympathy with the mugs who bought tickets on this basis – they won’t be starving – easy come, easy go. Who in their right mind would pay £300 for a ticket to sleep in a tent, piss in communal buckets, shit in a ditch and probably get the two bob bits as a permanent souvenir of the rather sordid occasion.
When somebody demands cash only they are either on the rob or they are going to take your money and run – as this shower have.
Little Jocassta and Tristram will be sobbing their little eyes out in their riverside apartment.
22
Your right mr Boggs.
I only take cash. 😁
10
Cash here !
9
You won’t take a cheque MNC, even if I write my name and address on the back?. I write very few these days and my fountain pen rarely comes out of the drawer to write them.
6
With not just hatching from a egg mr Boggs i dont take cheques off customers or wait for payment.
Im very impatient and not inclined to optimism.
I take same day cash payment or they can wave byebye to their goods.
Oh and i count the money in front of them.
Some people make mistakes and its short,
Never accidentally overpay.
Cynicism and cash,
The perfect partnership😁
8
Yurtel? Wasn’t he that black sitcom star who wore those multi coloured braces.
Our government will start putting illegals in those soon, when we run out of four star hotels.
20
As I recall, Yertel the Turtle was a story by the wonderful Dr.Seuss, a clever description metaphorical tale regarding politics and authority.
I’d rather read that than visit this rip-off festival. It wouldn’t surprise me if this chînk company was probably organised by the weird-beard farmer who runs Glastonbury. Money-grubbing cunt.
20
He probably has a couple of thousand cheapo pop-up tents from Argos hidden in a barn that he will flog to the desperate cunts for a few hundred quid.
19
Check out the Companies House data …
https://find-and-update.company-information.service.gov.uk/officers/HsmdSj0reterpN_5RlDjLS7wQik/appointments
… looks like this “Michael Geoffrey Paul Suenson-Luke” is a seasoned entrepreneur. I look forward to his next venture.
🏕️
19
That’s an interesting read Sam.
You’d think beardy and his daughter would be more circumspect about who they gave contracts to.
But then again, they only care about ££££££££.
14
Open the last set of published accounts. £1.8m creditors and just over £1m assets.
Granted, a snapshot but not a great financial position. I suspect Mr Suenson Luke has done OK out of it.
4
Anyone who bought even a basic ticket is a mug.
Have you seen the lineup?
And the legends slot looks like going pear shaped. Rod Stewart has just cancelled his US shows because of illness.
No doubt they’ve got a replacement.
Jools Holland and Ruby fucking Turner, probably.
What a pile of cunt!
19
Not forgetting that Jock Stewart cunt.
13
Opps! Just read the cancellation!
13
They’ll probably try to get the re-united Pulp, to do a 20th anniversary of their 1995 appearance.
Rod would only have croaked his way through the worst parts of his catalogue. All those fuckwits at ‘Glasto’ thinking they are cool and postmodern singing along to ‘Da Ya Think I’m Sexy’. But ‘Hot Legs’ would be forbidden. ‘But..But it’s sexist. Me Too.’
‘The Killing Of Georgie’ would also have been dug out. With all the rainbow flag LGBTQ Nazi propaganda, of course.
14
Sorry, 30th anniversary of Pulp at Glastonbury 1995.
5
And, the amount of younger cunts (and even cunts who are over 30) who claim to like Rod Stewart, who look blank or clueless when Steampacket, the Jeff Beck Group or Faces are mentioned.
The best one being ‘But… But Rod Stewart wasn’t in The Small Faces.’
But don’t mention Steve Marriott, his departure to form Humble Pie or the band Quiet Melon. It just makes them look even more stupid and clueless.
7
Jools with Ruby Turner/Beverley Knight (same thing). Either that or KT Cuntstall (she lasted, didn’t she?🤣) or the suddenly ubiquitous Sophie Elllis Bextor. Who is going to be cunted very soon.
5
But you can’t cunt Sophie Ellis-Bextor,
Because I want to hang out the back of her.
1
There’s usually enough mud there to make their own huts, the lazy bastards.
8
Yurtel could have stayed down here in the south east, putting up temporary stays for the illegal boat trash on the beaches. Temporary meaning washed out to sea next high tide. Then when the yurts get washed up empty, just refill from the waiting queue. That would certainly work out a lot less than a 5 figure sum, & well worth the money.
15
Besides some of the most inflammable materials the Lord can provide.
7
“I have never seen so many white people in one place.”
(Jon Snow, reporting from the Glastonbury Festival, June 2024)
15
Apparently, black people are so unrepresented at these festivals they feel invisible, especially at night.
13
Until they smile
0
Smiling whilst robbing the tents, no doubt
0
Oh dear Lydia you’ve been sucker 👊 by someone with a lovely double barrelled name,was it that fact that made you ultra sure the company was a secure and trustworthy organisation…you chinless gullible goon, next time buy a sleeping bag and some waterproofs and rough it like it was meant to be, not a 5 star overpriced sultan’s harem… ‘they taught me how to yurtel,yurtel o e dee,yurtel o e deeeee e’ 🎵 😂
9
Neil Young.
Neil’s a hippys name.
And hes not young,
The cunt was around when they started work on the pyramids.
I like his music, after the goldrush👍
But im jealous he got to scuttle Darryl Hannah the jammy cunt.
But i wouldnt pay to see the coffin dodging cunt.
Fuck that.
Got the best of Niel young on CD in the van.
Hed have to sing all his hits and sing me to sleep in my yurt for 300 fuckin quid.
10
Your loss,Mis,I heard a rumour that Springsteen AND Mcartney are going to join him on stage.
6
David Crosby (RIP) upset Neil, when he said Darryl Hannah was a slag and a gold digger.🤣
God bless him. Never did things by half, Croz.
6
Heartbreaking.
I wept into my ethically sourced muesli.
Hopefully I’ll pull through after a good bout of meditation.
Cunts.
12
A fool and his money….😭
10
Yurtle now renamed to Channel Sea Dinghy Crossings Limited.
Cash upfront, no refunds.!
All crossings undertaken at your own risk but if successful big payouts guaranteed by HM Government.
Honestly if you’re willing to pay out large sums upfront with no protection you probably deserved it..
9
Had a word with Chief admin and weve decided to hold the first ISAC MOANSTOCK✌️
28 th july-1st Aug.
Pig farm in the Peak District.
£80 a day ticket £150 weekend camping.
Stalls, food, bar, guest speakers,
Line up is as follows
The Remoans
Swuawkwind
Vex pistols
Tom Mones
The Complainers
The Bay city eyerollers
And the Hateful dead.
So dig out your velvet loonpants and your afghan coats
This is gonna be groovy.
Cosmic✌️
11
I say Mis,
Some of the old bands sound like they’ve been already eating pigswill (which can contain glass) for years.
4
And…
Vanilla Grudge.
No Joy Division.
R.E.M (Rapid Ear Moaning, featuring Michael Gripe).
And, of course, Morrisey.
7
Extra special: The final act of the last day will be by Angie Eagle & Her Dykie Jass Band, with her special guest Dave Lammy who sings the Paul Robeson Songbook, together with tap dancing Diane Abbott. Worth 50 pence of anybodies money.
6
Weekend ticket, please!
P.S. Any problems about wearing a Happi jacket instead of an afghan coat? ( had one when I was 16, parents bought it in Amsterdam as a birthday present, smelled like an open latrine!)
2
Another reason why the Yurtel people could’ve pulled out is because the festival didn’t play any Mongolian throat singing. Probably due to the difficulty of having to perform 2 or more notes from a solo singer. Its one of my many traditional musical favourites from around the world.
5
One of the few traditional musical infestations I can’t stand is from the yankie inbred hillbillies and their twanging shite.
4
I wouldn’t feel too sorry for those scammed. People paying £10k a ticket are likely to be the kind of people not to miss £10k. Mummy and Daddy will just buy them another overpriced ticket and stay over with someone else.
Glastonbury stopped being for people who like music decades ago. It’s now largely for the ultra wealthy, lefty pricks, and “influencers”.
10
As long as that tuneless lardy cunt, Fatty Capaldi isn’t on it again.
The soft blubbering fuck would cry off again halfway through his set. Fat fucking fanny.
9
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 my sides hurt.Tough!!!!
6
The only way this could be any better is if the soppy cunt was a member of just stop oil. 😂
0
Seems the perfect scam to me, nobody who couldn’t afford it was harmed while Tarquin and Euphelia will have to go for a night out in Chelsea instead of glamping in a field of excrement. Seens like a win all round.
9
I think it can be said beyond doubt that every single person who goes to Glastonbury is a copper bottomed cunt.
In fact, I can guess the type of famous celebritwat who would go to ‘Glasto’…
Simon Pegg,
Daniel Twatcliffe.
That mardarse actress with the big teeth who was ‘upset’ by Saturday Night Live.
David Tennant.
Martin Freeman.
Amanda Fucking Cunt Abbington.
The fat tart from Gavin and Stacey,
Rob Brydon.
Ncunti Gayblack.
4
After ‘Glasto’s’ rapturous reception for those vile archetypal stereotypical cartoon n***ers (they use the word!) Kanye West and Stormzy, and the Hamas loving cunt Jeremy Corbyn. It should have been carpet bombed.💣🔥
4
Life imitates art – Harry Enfield “saw you coming”. Ho hum – a fool and his money and all that. So sad. Made my fucking day!
1