It’s a sad, sorry saga of a holiday dream gone wrong. Sixty-nine year old gran (they’re always a ‘gran’ or a ‘single mom’ in the meeja, aren’t they, never just a woman) Susan Edwards from Noocassel jetted off to a Greek hotel on the island of Corfu, which is in Greece you know, and then proceeded to bellyache at the lack of ‘English food’ in the place. Sounds like hell to me.
Strangely enough for a Greek hotel in Greece, it serves food such as moussaka, kebabs, fish, rice, pasta, cheeses, fruit, and (horror of horrors!) salads. You know, typical foreign muck. ‘There was no food we could eat’ bitched the old cow. ‘I have ulcerative colitis, so there’s certain things I can’t eat’, she carped, while bemoaning the shortage of her staples such as bacon, sausage and chips, all of which seemingly navigate their way through her dicky digestive tract with no problems whatsoever.
Hitting back, the hotel management stated ‘from the very beginning, this guest demonstrated their intent to fabricate complaints in pursuit of compensation, going as far as to complain about the weather’. Somehow, I can believe it.
Well here’s the thing, Granny Groan. Hotels abroad do have this unfortunate tendency to serve locally themed cuisine. If your horizons are limited to a taste for cups of tea like mother made and egg, beans and chips, perhaps you should try Margate, or better still, Benidorm. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of establishments there who are more than happy to cater for your tastes.
Nominated by Ron Knee.
I am sure she is worthy Ron, however, having recently returned from a Greek isle I do have some empathy for the cunt. The Greeks can’t fucking cook, every restaurant and Taverna are the same. They cremate all meat and fish until its rock hard and then either stick it on a stick or shave bits off it onto pita bread. Oh then they cover it in a fucking gallon of Popeye’s girlfriend. Disgusting. Had me taking shits in the sea. C.A.
Sorry Ron im with sue.
What sort of fuckin degenerates only have chips once a week?
The uncontacted tribes of the Sentinel islands have chips three times a week.
No excuse for it.
The weather there is like the surface of the sun,
And if i was forced to go there id go full Bobby sands the time i was there such is the quality of the food.
They dont even have black pudding!!!
15
I used to think Corfu was in that China.
Kor fu.
But no!
Its a isle of sodomites in the Mediterranean
10
I know what you mean about all these foreign names Miserable.
I used to think that Wanking was a town in China
8
Bobby Sands was just the name he took on whilst being a furniture restorer (and terrorist).
His actual name was Robert O’Topodermorninteya.
9
Slimmer of the Year, 1981.
13
He also came joint first in the 1981 Faeces Fingerpainting contest of H Block.
I recall the old joke at school. What is Bobby Sands’ telephone number? 8-0 8-0 8-0.
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No black pudding?? Fucking degenerates!!
4
I would like to cunt the term ‘jet/jetting/jetted off’ as over used in hackneyed media coverage.
Talk about stating the obvious, the old bint was hardly going to walk there… do MSM readers really only have a single brain cell?
5
Indeed Cap.
Add it to ‘love rat’, ‘bombshell’, ‘car crash’ and the rest
3
And the new go-to media cliche, so and so ‘breaks their silence’.
3
Ps
I can proudly say when I went to crete i didnt eat any of the local shite.
I ate fish n chips every day🇬🇧
And a watermelon so i didnt get scurvy.
12
At least you weren’t ordering ‘food’ from Gregg’s in your Obesitymobile and having it delivered to you by illegal kidrapers on e-bikes whilst watching Benedict Cumslut do his latest white-hating shite on the Bugger British Children channel.
17
Fat chav bitch and take the white wig off and you’d have the perfect representation of a pedo.
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She probably only started to complain when she worked out that even the most hideous Stavros or Andreas that she thought she’d be able to get familiar with would rather fuck off than fuck her, the ugly old Geordie boot.
11
Some cunt I know, who I see down the bookies in the high street, made the mistake of going to Greece without packing his turkey twizzlers and pasta dinosaurs, Would you believe it, there wasn’t even a fucking Farm Foods in Athens? It was fucking desperate, he told me. Greece might have been the birthplace of Socrates, Xenophanes, and all those clever cunts, but it has certainly gone downhill. They need to organise a Grexit and quick.
Good morning, everyone.
10
Every foreign country’s nightmare tourist.
Reminds me of Monty Python’s magnificent tourist board sketch.
Edited transcript:
‘What’s the point of going abroad if you’re just another tourist carted around in buses surrounded by sweaty mindless oafs from Kettering and Coventry in their cloth caps and their cardigans and their transistor radios and their Sunday Mirrors, complaining about the tea – “Oh they don’t make it properly here, do they, not like at home” – and stopping at Majorcan bodegas selling fish and chips and Watney’s Red Barrel and calamari’s and two veg and sitting in their cotton frocks squirting Timothy White’s sun cream all over their puffy raw swollen purulent flesh cos they “overdid it on the first day,” and if you’re not at your table spot on seven you miss the bowl of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom soup, the first item on the menu of International Cuisine, you visit the so called typical restaurant with local colour and atmosphere and you sit next to a party from Rhyl who keep singing “Torremolinos, torremolinos” and complaining about the food – “It’s so greasy isn’t it?” And the Spanish Tourist Board promises you that the raging cholera epidemic is merely a case of mild Spanish tummy, like the previous outbreak of Spanish tummy in 1660 which killed half London and decimated Europe…’
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz2LaJOVAiA
(The complete monologue starts at approx 2 minute mark)
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Don’t you malign Kettering Shit-Cake or you will have me and Harry to answer too.
PS I read that ad transgender radios I must have been on this site too long.
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Disclaimer: the views and opinions contained in the above post (timed at 10:35 am) belong solely to the cunt pontificating in the travel agents office and do not reflect the poster’s views and opinions.
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Necessarily…
0
The thought of being gassed in a Greek hotel, by carbon monoxide is more than enough for me, never mind the food.
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If the greeks concentrated more on peeling and dicing a potato rather than oiling each others arses and swanning about on mopeds theyd be a better country.
9
I’m sorry Susan. Your tale of holiday woe just didn’t hit the mark with me at all.
You see, Jay Slater’s holiday story last year – as bad as it was at the time (insofar as cunts getting column-inches goes) .. well, HIS one had it all. Drug parties, intrigue, a criminal past, mysterious strangers, a selfie of Jay being hilarious trying on a straw hat, lies, a month-long ongoing mystery, Gofundme exploitation and finally (and most importantly of all) a happy ending.
Even though the ‘standard’ of journalism would appear to have slid down to the level of your sad story (sad, as in pathetic) in the meantime … you could have still upped yer game, you hatchet faced worthless cunt. Gotten a plate of whatever & put a faked or found used johnnie that under the fish or something and faking a heart attack over the experience. Get your ugly mush on some classier newsrag’s pointless feed for a few hours.
Cunt.
Up to 5 mins should I never knew of Susan Edwards. And now I hate her more than I can adequately describe using words.
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^ Up to 5 mins AGO I never knew of Susan Edwards, … and now I hate her more than I can adequately describe using words…
6
Not so much Shirley Valentine as Shirley Turpentine.
Volatile, flammable and irritating to the eyes.
This woman is the same age as me, and back in the mists of time I went out with a bird from Westerhope, the suburb of Newcastle where she’s from. She had an aversion to foreign food as well.
OMG, it couldn’t be, could it?
13
It clearly is.
You should catch up with her Geordie!
Go out for a meal,
Mash and fishfingers for two
9
Great idea Mis.
And plenty of tomato ketchup.
I really know how to spoil a girl.
7
Is “Eat out to help out” still on the menu?
4
Did she take it up the arse?
I’ll wager she didn’t like swallowing. Unless it were gravy on chips.
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No GrεggΣ out there, Geordie.
🥟
4
This was where TV doctor Michael Mosley went wrong. Eating local food and then going for a walk in 40 degree heat. Fried eggs, chips, baked beans and brown sauce with breakfast beers and he would have been fine.
9
The thing that made me laugh about this story was the stuff about ‘I’ve got ulcerative colitis, so I can’t eat certain things’. Fried stuff like bacon, sausages and her beloved chips are absolutely fine though.
It just seems to me that going to Greece and complaining about the lack of ‘English food’ is the same as going to Greece then complaining that it’s 35 degrees in the shade and far too hot.
Morning all.
15
Made me howl too, Ron.
Daft cow, go suck a lemon!
Oops, my bad, looks like you already are.
3
Cheer up love.
With the amount of third world scum and villainy the Labour Party are importing to Blighty on an hourly basis, in less than a decade all you will be able to eat here is goat and rice.
The cure for your colitis will be a gallon of camels urine, consumed by mouth twice daily, oh and of course for a certain period every year, when the crescent moon appears over mo’s anus or something, you won’t be able eat in the hours of daylight.
On the plus side, a fucking burka will improve your looks no end.
12
Indeed! An argument in favour of the burka!
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Stacey Solomon is the greatest argument in favour of the burqa Ron, well her and Jess Phillips, but a nosebag would do for her.
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Phillips is a very ugly woman WC, in more ways than one
6
I love that she says for the money she paid, they could of gone to the Caribbean.
I’m not sure jerk chicken, curried goat and rice and peas would suit her.
And she only drinks bottled lager and bacardi and coke. Put the pint of beer in a bottle you daft Doris.
8
This old trout reminds me of the old bag who complained to the press a few weeks ago that her holiday in Spain was ruined by Spaniards and she felt that they should leave their homes when she toddled off on her weeks hollibobs. The entitlement of these old bissoms leaves you speechless.
8
She is 69, looks more like a 3000 year old mummy.
I haven’t been to Greece/Islands for donkeys years but I thought the food was great, proper Greek salads, Kleftico, Souvlaki, it was long enough ago before the likes of Susan travelled there.
Corfu was great, Palaiokastritsa, lovely bays, spotted Mr and Mrs Kinnock, rocked up on beach by water taxi, posh cunts.
Crete was a real experience, did the Samaria gorge and travelled by bus along with chickens and goats, a bit like the UK now.
Susan can fuck right off.
7
Yeah I’ve had a couple of great holidays there Sick. Don’t know if we were lucky with food, but I only remember one meal that wasn’t very good, and even that wasn’t what you’d call a disaster.
What did amuse me was that any time you asked the server what a particular dish was , he would always go ‘ahhh! eet’s especiale…’. I started asking for the fun of it after a bit.
3
I was still young enough to have a strong stomach 😂
Never ate in any posh restaurants, just small bars.
2
I always enjoyed Greek food, too.
The trick is to avoid the obvious tourist places and eat where the locals do.
0
I cannot find any evidence that Jimmey Savile ever visited Greece, so it is probably safe to go there for a family holiday. On the other hand, Hitler quite liked it so it may be a bit too right wing for most young people’s tastes. A a toss up really – should you stay, or should you go?
6
I am not sure how that ‘e’ got inserted into Jimmy. It must have been due to abuse of the Letraset.
2
I’m certain a Home Office investigation is warranted..
Some cunt,at some point in the past,has been up to the Jacob’s in that fucking appalling witch.
Medusa would have shit her britches having caught sight of it and the Persians could have conquered the Ancient World with that horror in the vanguard.
Fuck me,Theseus’s Golden Oven.
6
I when to Ghana once, the place was teeming with blik foreigners, teeming I tell you, hardly a whiteface to be seen anywhere, disgusting.
I complained when I got back and got called a racist!?
Don’t get me started on visiting Lesbos either, talk about a waste of money, no lesbians to be seen anywhere, what a disappointment.
There should be a law against these kind of things, it’s an absolute disgrace.
Disgusted, North Devon.
7
‘went
1
While in North Devon, theres not many hoes to be found in Westward Ho!
4
Didn’t she fancy taking fridge shaped suitcases. She looks old fashioned.
8
O/T…. Swindon and Wiltshire pride are with the liebour councils consent handing out leaflets at primary schools to show the kids the flags of over 300 genders and to see if they could name any of the flags…one of them is a diagram of a ‘genderbread person’ which equates to ‘bit of this,a dash of that’ ….how about a devibread one that should be the one and only for the whole crew 👍
6
Nuke Swindon and Wiltshire.
I went to Swindon Town’s ground with Manchester United in 1994. The biggest shithole there is, Makes Winbledon’s Plough Lane look like the Bernebau.
And, as for the locals? They make the cunts in Straw Dogs and the Wicker Man look normal, So, this gender deviancy and flag depravity is no surprise whatsoever.
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Needs to lay off the fancy holidays and grub, If you ask me
Fat old sack of shit.
7
…is the correct answer.
Ow do Norman
4
I’ve been to grease before, it was nothing like the movie.
No thirty year olds pretending to be high school kids breaking into song at every opportunity, and having street races.
Lots of ruins and Aubergines.
4
Yeah Barry, lots of ruins, and Granny Edwards is one of them.
I didn’t realise that they had a lot of visitors from the Aubergines there though*
(* reader’s voice; ‘laugh? I thought I’d never start…’
3
I’ve read a lot of their buildings are really old and nothing more than ruins. You’d think they’d rebuild and clean the place up a bit for the tourists. Typical lazy foreigners.
5
Always bellyaching about the Elgin Marbles as well, which no doubt Rodney will hand over Chagos-style along with a cheque for £30 billion in reparations.
6
If you have certain dietary restrictions or requirements, it would behoove you to check ahead of time to ensure you’ll be catered for. That would require a modicum of intelligence though.
I sided with the hotel until I saw the picture of their buffet. Buffets are a runny bottom waiting to happen. Or worse. An untold number of gits with varying levels of personal hygiene, manners and social etiquette all breathing, coughing and sneezing over the food. Touching the serving utensils with their germ encrusted paws and just generally being gross. No thank you.
Always order off the menu.
“Yes Stavros, I’ll have the moussaka in dysentery sauce and a green salmonella salad to start. Dessert, you say? Well, let me see. The stomach pump looks good, so I’ll have that and instead of coffee to follow, I’ll have the last rites from the Greek orthodox maitre d’. Oh you’re all out of last rites? That’s a pity. Then I’ll have the air ambulance to the mainland . That’ll be fine. Run along.”
5
I predict a similar story to tubby Susans in October when I return from a few weeks in China, something along the lines of there was nothing I could eat, they havent even heard of special fried rice and it was all panda and pangolin.
4
….in a Covid sauce.
4
Look after your kidneys out there too.
2
I am going to chuck in my shilling.
The majority of hotels sell locally themed food, quite often not even locally sourced.
a general gripe is the hotels are foreign owned and little revenue goes to the locals.
Some of them are just theme parks that people do not leave.
Me, well I escape and go and eat where the locals eat and then you get the proper local cuisine, which I do enjoy even if it is sometimes beyond your mental comprehension that such a thing may be edible.
Perhaps the lady in question might like to invest in a 100W light bulb and turn up the heating for a week to replicate the conditions she requires?
4
69 year-old Gran Susan had better watch out.
Having voted in favour of legalising the murder of babies earlier this week, Parliament has just voted through the Kill Granny Before She Costs the NHS Too Much Bill.
Am I the only one who thinks the MPs who support these laws are pure evil?
1
No Geordie, you’re not alone.
The labour party truly are the vilest scum of the earth.
1
I have experienced polarised food quality in Greece. A holiday to Skiathos many years ago – I was served up a mushy moussaka, which looked to have stout, black, curly Grecian pubic hairs standing proudly amongst the aubergine and pasta. The stooge standing outside with a menu, enticing folk in thought he was something from Miami Vice in 1985 – white linen suit, shoes with no socks and what appeared to be second or third press olive oil smattered in his black, curly hair.
On a visit to Crete around 20 years ago, I went for the baked king prawns – one of those rare dishes that has you thinking why can’t any decent restaurant serve up something so tasty.
2
A bit O/T but I see that hatchet faced old bulldyke whore Kim Leadbetter has got her “right to die” bill through. Terribly pleased with itself. I wonder if she would like to be the first volunteer. Who is willing to put a cyanide suppository up her stinking old arsehole?. I think Rachel From Accounts should do it with her teeth.
2
I had my honeymoon in Lindos years ago and the food was very tasty, reasonably priced and well presented.
The Greeks however, are a bunch of miserable cunts whose national pass time is going on strike.
Their plumbing is a complete joke though.
Who would have thought that a place that hosts pissed up Europeans for 75% of the year might actually need a 4″ soil and waste connection at the back of the toilet instead of a rancid bin full of used bog paper.
2
Miserable cunts who enjoy strikes with dodgy plumbing. France!
1
No, they’re the arrogant cunts who enjoy strikes and dodgy plumbing.
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Some Friday evening sounds – let’s rock kids!
https://youtu.be/X69qEi51v9M?si=Nh9XywRuCAWm7918
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and this is a blast from the past:
https://youtu.be/JGUEKEJW5sQ?si=5d6in8EsGaUFrH0V
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