Not content with sending us poo sticks for bowel cancer screening, which I’ve been receiving for several years, although next year, at 72, will be my last invite, I’ve now received a letter inviting me to MY lung cancer screening.
Now, hang on a minute. Once I reach 72, you don’t gaf if I die of bowel cancer, but now your worried that, at 71, I might have early stage lung cancer where ” treatment is simpler and more successful”.
Make your fucking minds up!
I take it this is another Streetings based initiative to show how much we’re loved, as elderly people, by our current Government.
I wonder how many pensioners, who don’t pay IT like me, got invited?
I’m willing to bet zero, but happy to be corrected.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
My wife is 72 Jeezum and I’m 74 next week. Neither of us have been invited to lung cancer screening. I hadn’t noticed until you mentioned it that the poo sticks no longer arrive. This morning I’m off to have some blood taken as every year since my heart attack in 2016.
11
And we do pay income tax.
12
If you stand on your head, liver and bowel screening can differ.
2
I’m talking shit.
4
Probably just making a list for terrahawk zelda leadbeaters assisted dying program.
11
Interesting to see you mentioning Wesley there, Jeezum. For a Health Secretary he still has a lot to learn about medical matters.
As has been widely reported, the nation’s sperm counts have been getting lower, so Wesley went to his local hospital to get his checked. Imagine his surprise when the nurse gave him a laminated copy of Huw Edwards’s e-photo collection and a sample bottle to wank into. Wesley had assumed that for a sperm count they’d just take a sample out of his own arsehole.
10
As little Wes Bleating is a poofter it hardly matters what his sperm count is – I dare say he takes more than gives anyway – but there you have the little iron who constantly tells the NHS to spend money “wisely”. Giving sperm tests to a sodomite is hardly using money wisely.
5
Couldn’t give a fuck.
Most of us are going to die horribly anyway.
8
I’ve nothing to offer the NHS now. After passing the age for anymore advent calendar shite tests, which is now black from the iron table and a vasectomy years ago. My only chance of recognition is a congratulatory telegram from dickfingers Charlie.
3
Bombard your healthy lungs with unnecessary cancer causing x-rays.
I have a plan….
7
Iron tablets you silly twat. I need a brain test.
4
Theyre trying to lure you JP!
Its a trap.
They get hold of you youll be exhibit A in Ripleys believe it or not in Blackpool.
Medical oddities are big business.
And you wont get along with John Merrick,
Hes a Liberal Democrat.
8
As John Merrick has been dead for 135 years, presumably he sits for the Limp Demagogues in the House of Lords.
4
There’s one of those NHS Portacabins for lungs mithering in the car park of my local Tesco.
Mrs Terry told me there were hordes of pakîs going into it,despite pakîs not being allowed to live in my area..
Therefore it seems reasonable to assume going into one of these screening trucks will result in a good healthy dose of malaria,dengue fever,tuberculosis and AIDS.
They are nothing but a breeding ground,like the rest of “Our NHS”,for unnatural and peculiar foreign diseases.
Oh and Wes Streeting is a fucking monumental Cunt.
Good morning.
7
Uncle you left out the fact that he is a screaming iron hoof. A face you would never tire of punching. Good morning all.
6
Wessy is Labour’s answer to the BBC’s Alan Carr (and Alan Cummings). Lights, make-up, teeth and tonsils. The simpering sodomite is ready for yet another TV tongue wag.
7
Ignorance is bliss 🫁….the grim doesn’t care… either way he’s coming for you ☠️
7
Aye! .. And he riding a 30 mile-wide inbound meteor in about twenty-five years time, hopefully.
The knowledge that the overwhelmingly useless rotten rabble currently taking over via infestation (the foreign and the tiktok generation) will wreck it for themselves *anyways* is comfort enough I suppose but I have enough spite in me about the cunts that I’d like to see it happen, or know it’s absolutely imminent before I check out.
The decent percentage, and the animals? … unfortunate but they are all fucked anyways in this emerging tide of neanderthalism so .. being cruel to be kind, there.
“But Cuntemall, .. emergent news of an approaching planet killer in twenty years, say, would lead to widespread savagery and lawlessness, some might even say the irrevocable breakdown of civilisation”, some bleeding heart simpleton might interject …
… and I’d be all, like 🤨
And so, yeah. And this pope Leo character might just very well be isac’s own General Cuntster(possibly), it turns out (via a bit of basic reasoning).
Who’d have thunk it?
You literally couldn’t make it up!
3
Wesley “🦆y” Schreeing wants firing out of a canon headfirst into a brick wall 🧱.Cock.
6
I saw your advert for shingles tests the other night.
What a fucking ugly bunch of misfits.
6
🤢🤢🤢
0