I cannot stand them. (They just can’t stand).
I’m not talking about a bit chunky, I’m mean these disgusting tubs of lard, waddling about in ski-pants with their shitty ass-crack on display, or, more usually, trundling around the food aisles of supermarkets in what resembles a three wheeled Tesla, sweating.
I instantly judge them, Oh yes I do. No, there’s nothing wrong with your metabolism, you’re just an ill-disciplined, lazy, useless waste of oxygen. You’re not ill (well you probably are, because you’re a disgusting, smelly, lazy, sweaty, whining, weak fat spazzer).
No, you do not defy Newton’s laws on the conservation of energy, it is not possible to expend more calories than you consume and gain weight, great rolling mounds of it
And these fat birds, that are trying to convince me I’m missing out because I refuse to shag them. Get to fck, you revolting bitch, no man in his right mind would touch you. They are usually covered in small, circular bruises, where people have been jabbing at her with a barge pole. You’d have to roll her in flour (if she doesn’t eat it) and aim for the damp patch, after strapping a plank to your arse so you don’t fall in, then suffer a life of regret. Be like throwing a sausage up the Channel tunnel.
For your delectation, dear reader.
Thomas, behave yourself.
Nominated by : Termujin
George Carlin nails it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDCuoW0HPiU
‘Short pants, big bellies, fat thighs, dumb kids’
13
Fat people should be gunned down on sight, especially Americans.
13
@scb… I’m half yank, so hopefully will get away with a reasonable injury 🤕 🤣
7
Is it the fat half Gelerd ender? 😅
4
Unfortunately, with summer on its way then so are the fatties.
Predominantly from the UK and Germany.
Thet will be wobbling along the sea front, dragging their feet, sweating and they will be that wierd pink colour for the first week of their holiday.
After a while the bright pink skin will be replaced by a reddish colour.
That won’t cover the whole of their bodies, just the 25% that the sun has been able to get at.
To get an even tan these fat cunts would need to be on a rotisserie.
They will use the beach showers before they go home and get ready to go out.
Thet do not realise that it takes soap to stop them smelling.
Their evening attire will be massive cotton shorts with flip flops for both the men and the women.
The men will try to go everywhere without a shirt on, ugly tattoos on show.
Thet will get turned away from all but the shitiest places to eat, drink or shop.
The women will squeeze their enormous frames into a top that allows the bulging gut to be seen.
They will both drink pints and order chips with absolutely everything.
You can spot a Brit from 100 meters.
Not just by their huge size, but by the way that they shamble along.
It’s at these times of year that Mrs Cunter and I only speak Spanish to each other when we are out.
It stops any interaction from the English speakers.
15
Jesus tapdancing Christ!
Is that Mr. Creosote’s daughter?
11
No, it’s his fitness trainer.
12
😁
8
Fuck me crossways what the fuck did I just see? I know I cannot talk but hell there is no way I would allow myself to get like that.
Where do these silly cunts think leggings have a slimming effect? I have seen land whale with legging stretched so tight the material goes transparent.
11
Sliding a bit OT Cunty, but it seems to me that these cyclists in their gimp suits don’t realise that when they are on the bike that lycra stretched across their arse goes transparent. Depending on the view I either hang around politely behind them or whizz past ASAP.
8
You too eh A, seasons just started up here,!
6
That’s probably why they wear it ( that and the cunts paid £80 for it in a nobby cyclists shop, despite it being made in taiwan for 56p).
5
Where the fuck did you get that photo of my wife from???
9
Tinder
14
Anyone who is few pounds overweight is considered obese, then there is morbidly obese (health problems), then there is Oh My Fucking God!
Fat gut, fat arms, fat thighs, enormous arse…. The one in the header could feed Africa for a year, including the lions 😂
10
No excuse to be fat, there is loads of fat friendly music to work out to.
Buns n Roses
Rolling Scones
Fleetwood Big Mac
Primal Cream
14
Fleetwood snack
Porkwind
Half man half Biscuit
Snack sabbath
Fed kennedys
The jam
And for any vegans
Soy Division
17
Fat people trying to tells us all that it’s attractive or healthy to be obese can fuck off.
https://youtu.be/9q5IAC66feA?feature=shared
Be as fat as you want, it’s a choice, I get you get into a bad mental health spiral, go get help. If you take the first step it will get easier.
Fat birds, men in dresses, both certain to kill a hard on.
10
Why is it at the first hint of some nice weather, the fatties are always the first ones to start squeezing themselves into vests and shorts. They look fucking awful and smell like a farmers market.
11
One summer, year’s ago we were having a drink on the terrace of a local bar.
The bar is on the main coast road which runs to the city.
The road that intersects it goes downhill in one direction, uphill the other way.
One fat fucker with his fatter wife and 2 fat kids lurched over to me and spoke to me in the wierd accent that people use when they are speaking to foreigners.
“Scuse me. What way is the beach?”
I told him that the beach was up the hill at the very top.
He went to cross the road with his awful family.
Mrs Cunter felt sorry for them.
She told them that I didn’t understand and that the beach was downhill as they usually are.
11
I think this beauty has been on Ozempic:
https://images.app.goo.gl/oTTmR
6
It’s worth r͟e͟a͟l͟l͟y͟ zooming in, by the way.
You can see little creatures living in there.
8
Hehe, JP will be choking on his garibaldis.
4
…when he looks down and sees that the pic has set him to half-mast.
9
I’m not clicking on the link, I know better.
12
Hi JP…well, if you like the larger lady, that pic will give you a diamond-cutter!
9
Oh go on. I bet you’ve never seen one with teeth before
3
I opened it without inserting my common sense, once seen it can’t be unseen… I need a lie down, just about avoided throwing up 😂
10
Jesus H Christ, I’ll never unsee that….🤮
7
Thomas you’ve done it again, that image will haunt me for years. Sure there are many men who like to live dangerously who would have a crack at that monster. The perfect way to shuffle off the mortal coil if your a face sitting fan and terminally ill, fuck going to dignitas just call this lady and pass away in a mass of sweaty minge and blubber your last sight a minging arse hole before everything goes black and sticky..
5
That was only about a 3.5/10, BB. Waaaay worse exists!
6
Fucking hell Thomas! I opened the link I should know better and I do know better but I still did it.
I had strong cheese for supper and now I’m dreading the forthcoming nightmares!
7
Bloody hell Thomas only a 3.5!! I have to get my iPad exorcised after that last nightmare you conjured up. Mandatory health warning on all you posts in future. Have visions of many counters having a somewhat restless night after that image especially if they had a “naughty reaction”. Top marks mate one hell of a post! Cunter of the year contribution that.
4
On the telly they’re interviewing the Cambridge women’s team who have just won the boat race. Not much excess fat there but upper arms bigger than my thighs.
8
Imagine that lass in the header pic bumping and grinding on your face,
Your tongue straining,
Rich juices trickling down yer throat…. 😛
9
Some people love that sort of thing…
https://www.stuff.co.nz/world-news/350598578/obese-woman-admits-sitting-on-boyfriend-and-crushing-him-to-death
Her name is Windi Thomas!
5
Thomas, if only we could persuade that woman to sit on Kweer’s face. I’d pay her fee gladiy.
8
It surely has to be male for Sir Quare Rodney?
Or provide free specs, suits and (concert) tickets, etc…
4
Freddy the Frog liked fat birds.
6
Come along gents,if it wasn’t for the giant wobbling cunts buying industrial quantities of crisps and pop we’d already be in a deep recession.
Rachel says Growth at all Costs..
Thus the benefits system to fuel this critical part of our economy.
Expect a McDonald’s in every hospital soon,you know it makes sense.
It’s empowering,just ask any fat lass outside Greggs.
Great Big Britain!!
o v e n
9
Industrial sized one Unkle 😉
5
I find them jolly.
Obviously they smell like a Birmingham high street but on the whole I like them.
Big round faces, no will power, and the comedy value now *its a knockout” is no longer on telly.
Bernard Manning
Oliver Hardy
John candy
John belushi
Geoffrey Hughes
All funny blokes.
All dead like but I refuse to see any link in that.
6
Eddie Yeats and Big Stan Oggie were great. With Hilda making up one of the best teams in Coronation Street (when it was good, that is).
My dad knew Bernard Manning, and we used to go to the Embassy Club regularly. I still have my mum’s Bernard albums, as he did a bit of crooning on the side. He was a top bloke, Bernard.
8
Fatty Arbuckle
Cyril Smith
Boris Johnson
Diane Abbott
Donald Trump
5
Fat land whales.Throw them back in the sea
4
What bends my head is how they use lardy tarts to advertise ladies undies.
Deansgate is now full of boards, featuring fat black wimmin in lingerie. Fat treeswingers who look like Lizzo.
Black lardies are also now seen in magazines like Vogue and all them.
How is this supposed to be attractive or generate sales?
All it does is turn my stomach.
16
Me too Norman.
Fat black lingerie models have turned me right off buying women’s underwear for myself.
8
Orca in a pink thong not doing it for you Norman?
6
No, Tez. It does not.
I remember my mum’s Littlewoods catalogue though. Which featured proper ladies in saucy duds. The see through ones being a particular favourite. A Littlewoods catalogue and a locked toilet door. The simple pleasures of he poor…
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0c/51/58/0c5158f237e347531b1034ffe2dde769.jpg
6
🤢🤢🤢
2
There have been many worthy winners of the Victoria Cross, but perhaps England’s bravest man was yokel maniac Fred West for having to wake up to this every morning during the late 70’s and early 80’s:
https://images.app.goo.gl/snhc5
5
Thank you Thomas!
I should have known
If we can thank fat chicks for anything then surely it must be for inspiring Sid the Sexist to coin this immortal pick up line: “ehhh, ye doont sweat much fer a fat lass!”
5
As managing director and producer of Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) Limited, can anybody give me contact details for the lovely lady in the nom picture?.
Since our productions have gone over to widescreen, we have been trying to build up our roster of larger ladies (remember our motto “Porn for men who want more for their money”. We have been force feeding our leading lady, Emily Thornberry, but the binging, farting and puking and being kept in a pen makes it a very slow process and with summer approaching we are in need of big beefy birds for the 2025 nudie epics we intend to make.
6
They should be charged ground rent. After a few staggering steps they’re in another county, with extra charge. Low tide and high tide, depending on how long in the water.
You don’t see many obese old people. They die of all sorts of things, too many to mention.
Let’s hope we’ve frighten them to death amongst other things.
5
After imbibing a few too many ales a good few years ago, found myself in bed (hers fortunately) with a chunky girl but the beer goggles had obscured my vision of just how chunky.
It wasnt til she was flat on her back and me giving her my hardest efforts she choked “stop, stop”. So being a gentleman I did and asked what was wrong.
“I’m choking on my neck fat”.
Flipped her over, went like a jackhammer to get it over with, got dressed and left without knowing her name or saying anything straight back to hotel to wash the grease off.
10
Fucking class.
11
I’ve shagged a number of manatees CotI. Great fun at the time, but day after regret torments you forever.
I recall putting the handle of my mate’s bicycle pump (which was on the coffee table for some reason) up one of them’s bumholes.
14
Fucking brilliant 🤣🤣🤣
3
Did you leave the attachment in?
3
in my 20’s in SW London, my “considerably large” housemate pulled a rugger fan after a Twickenham match. Never seen anyone flee from a place so swiftly the next sunrise.
7
They live in fear of the words chapped and heat, besides the cost.
4
Ones 12 inch langer cannot get inside, so they are rather pointless beached whales.
Festering stench is all.
Wouldn’t like to the husband, fkd from the washing and all.
1
OT. Your lot really gave us a battering today, Geordie Twatt.
Amorim out at the end of the season, and the farce will continue…
2
Cheer up Norm, you’re only 8 points behind Liverpool.
2
Sorry, I meant 38.
2
Had to visit a private hospital two years ago (not cos I had a dose or anything) just to collect some money that a client was owed for work carried out. Walking down the corridor to get to the admin section my way was blocked by the widest fucking wheel chair I’ve ever seen paint the fucker grey and voila the navy have a new aircraft carrier.
I accosted a passing nurse (in a polite way) and asked is that huge chair a sample piece or something. The good lady replied no we have had to replace half our wheel chairs with these because so many of our admissions are huge fat bastards. The same with the beds, our two ambulances have been modified to cope with grossly obese patients. Got past the wheel chair and recovered the money owed to my client. Admin oversight, always good to keep a one man band tradesman waiting.
4
O/T
Note to Vlad the Invader:
If you fancy your chances now’s probably the time. Dirty Ange has put the British Army to work emptying the bins in Brum.
Meanwhile the country is being defended by, well, the binmen I suppose.
8
Morning all, well it is over here
Last night at the shops I spotted several grossly overweight folks pushing carts around and yes I judged.…jeez you fat hopeless ambitionless tub of lard, all the fat on your thighs calves ass belly and even forehead, (yes, fat forehead!) went in through your cake hole…shouldn’t be here shopping, stay home for a month eat nothing and burn some of it off.
Dr Rudi on Australian TV had some sound advice: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0GGf_GlD2RY
1
O/T, just an observation.
Our political class really are as thick as shit..💩
What qualifications do you need to be a politician…?
None…!
I cannot think of any other job where you you need no qualifications…
Are you a economist..yes.
Are you a solicitor..yes.
Are you a grifter… Yes.
Ergo, GB is lucky…🤬
6
Lucky… Cunting phone
“FUCKED”
6
Arrrrrrrggggghhhhh
4