is a cunt.
Yes folks, the useless overpaid cunts that we’re supposed to fawn over, or aim to emulate, grabbing £££££’s of filthy lukka for advertising.
Back in the day you had Normon Rossington and Joan Collins camping it up in the Campari ads, Boxing great Henry Cooper splashing Brut aftershave (it could never be named that today) and even Ted Heaths cabinet in the PG Tips ads.
Now though, we seem to have this never-ending procession of Multi £ Million Footballers, Actors and general Hollywood types, shilling as if they’re looking for lost £coins down the back of the sofa.
Cases in point :-
Judy Dench for some insurance outfit
Patrick Stewart, Sean Bean and Sarah Lancashire for Yorkshire Tea
DeNiro and Samuel L Jackson for Warburtons fucking bread
Harry fucking Rednapp for anything (that annoying red faced cunt would turn up to the opening of an envelope)
The latest to grind my gears is David hasbeen Beckham, advertising Stella Artois over-priced French piss, like he’s just realised he’s down to his last £800Million.
His hands are covered with tattoos – he looks like a Schizophrenic who’s been writing what the voices in his head say with a Biro on his skin ’cause the men in white coats won’t allow him paper,
What a fucking massive bell end.
Nominated by Lord of the Rings.
A heckler asked Jack Dee one time, ‘now that you’re not working for them any more, … did you REALLY like that beer’?
Jack sez it’s when you’re on tour away from your home and family that you ponder the likes, wondering deep down … but it’s when he had GOT home recently, .. and as he sat in his car waiting for the big automatic gates to roll aside so he could access his big, private house, that he thought to himself ‘man I really love that beer’ …
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I omitted what was the crux of that … he said it was the cheque from the John Smiths ads that paid for the (big) house in question And so thus the ‘I really love that beer’ (notably he still avoided answering on whether he actually liked the beverage he’d been hawking, or not).
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Leonard Rossiter LOTR.
Not many celebrities hold sway over me because I despise them or don’t know who they are.
You need to know your audience.
Fred Dibnah tells me Yorkshire teas best?
Id believe him.
Bernard Manning says
” these fuckin biscuits are gorgeous”
I’ll buy some.
Bob Mortimer says he plays hungry hippos?
Count me in.
But if Lenny Henry says he slept in a hotel bed?
I’d demand the room fumigated and the mattress burned.
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No way could I ever stay in a Premier Inn.
The idea that Sir Lenny Henry might have slept in the bed the night before is a risk I’d not be willing to take.
Though I suppose the stench emanating from the room would be a bit of a giveaway.
Either way, the chances of contracting monkeypox would be astronomically high.
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For Gods sake, he built the pyramids and Stonehenge.
Show some respect!
5
To quote Mock the Week:
“Hi, I’m Lenny Henry, and I’ve wanked in every single one of the Premier Inn rooms”
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One positive, Mis. If he’d slept there at least you’d know that the bed didn’t have a Velcro headboard and pillows otherwise the cunt would still be stuck in it.
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The stench of a sweating Lenny Henry plunging the corpulent Dawn French in the shitter on all fours whilst she was scoffing a Terry’s chocolate orange and dropping crumbs of chocolate on the mattress.
Ye Gods…
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Peter Sutcliffe the face of B&Q
Karen carpenter the face of weightwatchers
‘they taste even better on the way up! “
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One of my best mates lived next door to Peter Sutcliffe Rob said he was a complete cunt I asked why ?
Rob said Everytime he went round to borrow a hammer Sutcliffe said he never owned one 😆
How are you MNC ?
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Well cheers George 👍
Hope you’re winning and Mansfield is treating you well?
8
All good in Mansfield 👍
Good Northern Folk although there are a few Foreigners in our mist (rubber boaters)
Hopefully they will be going back to where they came from after 1st May 👍👍
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Something I won’t be seeing, due to getting rid of adverts yonks ago. Gibbs SR was enough for me. Out of interest, does this twat still have a squeaky cockney accent whilst dropped “th” for “f” ?
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Does he still fink and fought it.
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Any beer that comes in a chalice and needs the head cutting off you can stick up your arse
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Just as bad, every travel show’s fronted by some overpaid so-called celebrity. These cunts are already rolling in it without being paid a fortune not to worry about budgets while taking a free holiday that most people have to work all year round and then make sacrifices for. ‘Around the World by Train with Tony Robinson’ is just one example of a genre that has me effing and blinding at the telly. It’s not just him, dozens are at it, but that irritating short-arsed cunt gets up my nose more than most. The only time I would have watched would have been if there’d been an edition where he was tied to the tracks and run over. Starting Tuesday, Tony Robinson’s Rocky Mountain Railroad Trip in three parts.
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Absolutely agree.
Even Clive Myrie, after being caught out not declaring his moonlighting earnings to the beeb, then gets rewarded with a jolly around the Caribbean.
A couple of hours filming, back to the 5 Star hotel for free food and drinks and lounging around on the beech.
All topped off with a nice paycheque.
Freeloading cunts!
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On the ‘beech’?
What’s he doing, sleeping on a log?
Fucking phone!
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The prick,DB,even has his ‘endorsement’ for high end audio company Bowers and Wilkin’s new px headphones i noticed to my horror as if this cretin knows anything about music music ffs? for this reason alone i opted for Cambridge Audio’s Melomanias instead and they rock…at half the price.
7
I quite like Michael Portillo.
He knows what he is talking about and he is willing to get stuck in, even if he makes himself look like a cunt.
I don’t like his clothes sense.
A bit too gay in my opinion.
8
And Joanna Lumley can fuck right off.
You get no idea what a place is really like because she thinks that everywhere is ‘fabulous darling’.
She goes into a fucking stinking shack in India where a family of 16 live with no bathroom and it’s, “What a marvellous home that you have”.
Silly, stuck up cuntess.
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Of course, ‘Clunk-Click’ was a particularly memorable campaign. So popular it became a prime time TV program all of its own. Joe Public lapped up the Savile schtick. It opened all sorts of doors for him.
Good afternoon, everyone.
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PS not sure what has happened to my pic. It looks nothing like me!
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Manning, Embassy club, some time in the 70’s.
‘Just had a bit of good news. Jimmy Savil’s come through a winscreen in Huddersield.’
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David Beckham another entitled cunt I wouldn’t buy anything that twat endorsed 👎👎
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Andrew Garfield – what’s it like having Sky, it means you are getting fleeced
Idris Elba firing poor cunts through a roof on an ejector seat just to get Sky Broadband, must be in the small print 😳
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I think it goes to show that celebrity wankers can never have enough money. Robert De Niro is worth about $500m yet advertises fucking bread on UK tv, tbf his treatment for terminal TDS doesn’t come cheap.
Elton John advertising Anusol or Gary Glitter launching a Save the Children campaign would be funny though.
19
When the documentary aired about that Who Wants to be a Millionaire Major-cuntface coughing/cheating scandal, .. the first ad in the first break was for Benylin.
13
I did like Michael Barrymore’s advert for KY Jelly.
The tagline was very good:
Guaranteed up to the elbow or your money back.
11
I think one of his early roles was a public information film enforcing the ‘no heavy petting’ rule at swimming pools.
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😆
5
You don’t mean crybaby socialist Robert deniro do you LL?
Surely when he realises hell give most of that to starving Africans?
Otherwise he’d be.. Well… A hypocrite wouldn’t he?
The greedy bread hawking prick.
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‘Arry Fackin’ Redknapp’s a right card ain’t ‘e?
‘is ol’ mucka Paul Merson’s ‘ad ‘is struggles with gamblin’ addiction, so ‘Arry offers ‘is support by appearing in shedloadsa gamblin’ adds on the box.
‘es havin’ a fackin giraffe!
Fackin boss eyed spiv cant!
12
Celebrity, what the fuck does that actually mean..?
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/celebrity
A state of being celebrated. By who for fucks sake.!
By the public, or other ” celebrities”. Either way, I hate the bastard’s almost as much as I hate politicians…. I really don’t like those lying twats..!
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Every year several words are officiallyadded to the dictionary, so to speak, .. and every year they’re more and more pathetic. Internet shorthand a lot of it. ‘FOMO’ that kind of shit. Just more key-jangling, essentially.
It’s time they started taking words OUT of the lexicon yearly as well, due to – again, the internet mostly – diluting them to but meaningless groupings of letters.
‘Celebrity’, as you said Doctor S,
.. also : Tragic ; Hilarious. ; Heartstopping ; and ‘believe’, as part of “you won’t believe” ..
Even ‘everyone’ has been neutered. And by who? .. The fucking dumb, again!
The ‘evolution’ of speech my hole! 🙃
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p.s. ‘terrifying’ …
2
Like that gaggle of desperados fired into ‘space’ recently on Bezo’s dildo.So damn obvious a fake and a psyop into the mix.
7
Yes that capsule they crawled out of looks like it wouldn’t survive a stiff breeze on the Skegness foreshore.
2
I have no problem whatsoever with slebs advertising products.
I`d do it. You would all do it: the fees are immense.
Famous fruity pianist Liberace would associate himself with just about anything and endorse loads of stuff for all the freebies and backhanders.
Also, after winning a libel lawsuit in the UK, he famously sent a telegram that read: “What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.”
💵💶💷💰
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Liberace-camp Dracula.
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Would you buy a used teabag from this man?
https://images.app.goo.gl/AX3NeW5JwTdPtrEx8
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Nope.
I wouldn’t accept a life ring when drowning at sea off that little cunt
6
If you did you would find yourself in Rwanda before you could say ‘snap election’.
6
Who the fuck uses tea bags anyway? They contain poorer quality tea, the good stuff is sold loose in cartons and you have horrible snotty little paper packets to handle afterwards instead of just pouring the remains down the sink. Weird.
5
My sister donated me a box of these comestibles recently and i had to bin them immediately,bloody awful.Nothing beats Earl Grey in the rosy lee stakes.
4
Stella is Belgian.
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@bc.. Stella’s got a fella and I don’t like it, it ain’t me 🎶…. apparently 👍
3
Gonna be alot of upset celebrities today, now the supreme Court has ruled that women don’t have cocks.
Those three harry Potter twats owe JK Rowling a huge apology.
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I wouldn’t hold your breath Barry …
But I am looking forward to 2TK telling us how many women he knows that have a cock!
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Well there is Jess Phillips. Allegedly……
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VRKam332hAM
Splendid.
1
They should match the product with the “celebrity” better. Does anybody believe that Nanette Newman did her own washing up?. or that Molly Wir used that “big bucket of Flash” or Dame Thora had a rickety stair lift?.
On the other hand I COULD imagine Emily Thornberry wearing those “bulky pee pants” , or Lord Mandy using Preparation H for his grapes of wrath, and, until this morning, MR Izzard selling plastic fake boob-i-dos and a range of make-up from the Wes Streeting Luxury Miss range.
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King Charles in a big Tampax-tampon costume?
Advertising’s all about getting cunts talking is it not?
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I’d like to see an advert where a bunch of Ethiopians are seen being dropped through the centre of a standard Polo mint.
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It was Biafrans in my day Thomas.
What do you do with a dead Biafran?
Lie him on his back and use him for a toast rack.
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Politicians second (or third) jobs –
Diane Abbott advertising Shoe Zone.
Lammy at Greggs.
Dirty Ange at Primark.
Nigel Farage at Oddbins.
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And everyone’s favourite Prime Minister Specsavers Although someone else buys his for him the scumbag
1
Shame Fred West topped himself. He’d have been great advertising sharp sand and patio blocks for B&Q or Jewson.
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Fred had lovely curly hair.
Like a sheep.
He must of eaten bread crusts as a kid.
Is he the only famous person from Glouster?
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Simon Pegg – could advertise Thresher if they were still around.
2
Chris Whitty also.
2
O/T, it takes a black man to put these cunts straight…!
https://youtube.com/shorts/84QOlyBHEBk?si=fn682C4-gRiHZEBg
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Have to confess I do think the Samuel K Jackson Warburtons ad is damn good.
All the rest are cunts though.
3
Sammy Jackson can put his black pecker between two slices of Warburton bread and feed it to tearful Bobby deniro as a sausage butty.
I won’t eat that shite if this pair of twats are associated with it.
8
Peter Sellars and Spike Milligan did a great B&H ad. Even got me smoking them for a bit.
7
Well the fucking head Beckham got on that pint was a total pisstake
5
I totally forget about uber cunt Gary Lineker and Walkers Crisps.
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Who needs Walkers when there’s far superior Pipers crisps to be had?
3
If you watch that Beckham ad in the nom, you will note the cunt has such a puffy whiny voice they have had to dub it with a more lower ‘manly’ gruff.
7
Every time an ad with a well-known figure fronting it, like the Stella/Beckham ad, I automatically assume that the product must be absolutely shite if the manufacturer has to pay a multi-millionaire to promote it.
But ads, in general, are so crap I personally wouldn’t buy whatever they are touting. Talk about dumbed down for the hard of thinking!
As I’m writing this, one of those fake wordsearch ads, promoted by Churchcastle Ltd, with the answers so screaming obvious you’d have to be an absolute moron not to get it, has just popped up.
Yeah, for a chance to win £11.5k, just spend about a tenner on the premium rate phone number! About time they were banned, premium rate numbers.
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Sorry for repeating I avoid advertising like the plague, but would like all the people you’ve mentioned, to enter the Russian Roulette Finale and would be honoured to shoot the winner.
5
Good man!
4
Snoop Dogg advertising fast food delivery to stoners. Marketing genius? Like the weed addled cunts don’t have the just eat app on their home screen already?
5 million dollars he got paid to make a couple of adverts.
Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay!
4
Use these “slebs” for pig food 🐖🐖🐖
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