My local Morrisons is selling the classic 70s fruit sweets, in their original packaging and their original flavours (Starburst my arse).
Now, don’t get me wrong. I love ’em. Always did.
But the wrappers are a pain in the arse.
The paper is stuck to each one, and opening them becomes a sticky and annoying mess. Opal Fruits. Made to make your hands sticky.🎵
(Bit like Mayfair & Penthouse then? – NA)
Mind you, they taste as good as ever. That lime one again after all these years.👍
Nominated by : Norman
🎶Opal fruits made to make your mouth water🎶
A bit like a pàķi at a girls school..
I do hope you aren’t counting those as your five a day Norman?
19
Speaking of Pakis, all of the top ten households for benefits claimants are in Birmingham, Bradford and London.
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yes – that was a surprise to me also. Usually such hard workers.
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Didn’t Murray Walker invent that ad slogan?
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Manufacture of the wrappers should be entrusted to whoever makes gobby slag Rayner’s drawers. They’d unwrap themselves at the sight of a pair of trousers, especially in council houses.
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Did you see her yesterday in the house of “commons”.
Looked cheap in that like green opal fruit coloured dress and shoes..
You can take the girl out of Stockport..!
🤮
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No, I didn’t. My fist goes through flat screen tellies quicker than thousands of council estate chavs have been through her, the hideous cunt. Each telly costs more to replace than what she’s worth, the cheap looking strumpet.
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Encrusted, if it’s anything to do with Angie’s intimate apparel.
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Blackjacks for me 👍….they were usually at the front of the penny tray section so the Milf who was usually on at the newsagents had to lean right in showing her voluptuous titties 🥴 she loved it as much as the kids 😁….opal fruits were on the top counter so no use 🤣
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Good morning,
I liked the penny fartings.
Did you go to the same school as me GE? We had a MILF in the village post office like that, she was a definitely a nymphomaniac, at least to our over active 14 year old minds. I wonder if she is still there, probably a bit wrinkly now or more likely boxed.
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@wank…. village post office you say, I’m afraid that sounds a bit upmarket for me 😩… I’m from a norvern ex industrial town 🏭 🔩were we wear clogs for bed and eat lard butties …🤪
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The school was a bit upmarket, down south in Hertfordshire.
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Just to clarify are we cunting Opal Fruits wrappers here?
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Yes we are, Flexi.
The sweets themselves are still great.
But the papers are a pan in the arse.
Chewits are also still nice and all.
6
May I side cunt the lack of availability of Mackintosh’s Fruit Toffo’s?
My favourite sweetie as a lad.
https://images.app.goo.gl/NQJp
Safe pic and full of yummy nostalgia.
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Pacers we’re the best.
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were, obvi.
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I loved the multi flavoured Toffos.
Strawberry, original, banana, chocolate.
Ace.
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I don’t think anything nostalgic should be cunted……
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You’re safe then 🙂
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Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
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Lime was my favourite as a kid and milkshake too
I blame fucking Alberto frog off Bod!
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Another sticky wrapper sweet.
https://www.zapsweets.co.uk/pages/spangles-sweets
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Was told to cut out all sugary shite once I was told to be on the verge of diabetes 2. I’m still fighting it, but winning. My last favourite sweet was Werther’s Originals, along with cakes, biscuits and anything else that made me fat and unhealthy. Sorry lads & lassies for being a bugbear.
11
Not wholly unrelated and surely worthy of a side cunting, is the ridiculous name changes undergone by certain favourites and other products. We are informed that these changes became necessary due to the opening of a truly global market were similar names or products may have different meanings in other countries. A prime example is Oil of Ulay, become Oil of Olay because Ulay is Swazi for twat. Marathon was changed in the sure and certain knowledge that Snickers means fuck all in any language!
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Morning CCC, snickers is what Muttley used to do behind Dick Dastardly’s back after another failed plan to catch the pigeon or drive the Mean Machine right up Penelope’s Pitstop.
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You’re right, CCC.
Treets became M&Ms. What the fuck does M&M stand for?
Snickers. What was wrong with the name Marathon? Too English, I suppose.
Jif cleaner became ‘Cif’ but is pronounced ‘Siff’.
Also, the way things are messed with and fucked around, Once a Kit Kat was a nice but simple two or four fingered wafer in a milk chocolate coating. Now, there are about a dozen varieties. White, dark, orange, mint, salted bastard caramel. peanut butter (for fucks sake) and chunky. Load of shite.
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When I used to have Blackjacks in my pocket, I used to get the urge to mug people and father several children that I’d never have any contact with.
Same when I used to see a jar of marmalade.
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For me the best sweets were the Spangles..
Also known as the Dentists Dream.
I think I’m correct in recalling they were banned by the Health Secretary in 1978.
The Cunt.
Good morning.
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Morning UT, do you remember Texan bars?
Always good for glueing the teeth together and helping a wobbly milk tooth extraction!
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I had the will power to suck and taught all young ladies to do the same. Which I’m sure you also did, Thomas.
5
I remember getting Spangles in my Mars Christmas selection stocking, Tez.
I loved those stocking things.
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Hi Norman, l remember when the mint spangles first came out. They were one of our poor families few pleasures. We got a damaged batch where the wrapping paper got tangled up in the mints. My father wrote to complain and they sent a complementary large box of them with a note to say they were sorry. They lasted us for ages.
4
I do remember the mint Spangles, Sammy.
And the 10p mixture. Ten sweets for 10p. White mice, Mojo chews, coke bottles, bananas and shrimps.
Now, you couldn’t get one of those for ten pence.
5
Old English flavour spangles were fucking awful.
Tongue cutters along with most boiled sweets.
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‘Free packet every forth turn’ machines. Anyone remember those? 1d a go.
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Sweets with wrappers on were for girls, sissies and póófs.
American Hard Gums.
They were proper.
Good morning and feliz día de San José.
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Just pop em in, wrapper still attached. Can’t be any worse for you than what the actual sweet is made of.
Refreshers for me. All the way.
4
I liked those as well.
Spangles were shite.
3
Are they also selling those revolting shrunken heads with the sticky jam in the middle? And those little shrimp shaped pink sweets and the little yellow banana sweets that we were told were “banana flavour” but tasted more like the contents of a tin of paint mixed with Canderel?
I miss those.
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Dunno why but for me it’s Parma Violets … fuckin’ love ’em … used to be aspirin size now they do big fuck off Refresher sized ones; yumsk!
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Admin’s remarks got me thinking.
When I was a young lad, there was a fellow called Sam who owned a paper shop in Newton Heath.
Sam was a lovely bloke, but he was getting on and he had arthritis. I did a paper round for him, and I also did other odd jobs about the shop for him. Sam gave me a choice of payment. Either it was cash in hand, or I could take my share in shop stock.
I chose the stock option. And I filled my boots with the posh chocolate (Old Jamaica and Aztec bars), top pop (Tizer, Ben Shaws), and magazines including Shoot (the football classic) and Mayfair. Bloody Hell, those Mayfairs gave me endless pleasure as a young ‘un. And my left wrist was knackered soon enough. I even remember some of the models’ names. Jenny Barnes, Lena Gallagher, Kay Harvey, Pauline Hogg.
Sam passed away in the 90s, and it was very sad when it happened. A much loved man in the community, when we really did have a community and England was still England.
And, here is the lovely Pauline Hogg.
https://pixhost.to/show/116/52014419_mayfair-1973-06_2552.jpg
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Another one? Oh, go on then.
This is Lena Gallagher.
https://www.imagebam.com/view/MEHHVW
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Sweets were so good when I was a kid in the ’70s.
Many cunters have referenced some of my own favourites, so thanks for that. Toffos, Pacers, Spangles, Black Jacks, Fruit Salads to name but a few. The chocolate bars of the day were always a little more spendy so I didn’t have those as often. I did like Old Jamaica, Fruit & Nut, Bar Six, Amazin Raisin Bar, Starbar.
A particular fave at the time was Yorkie. That first came out as just chocolate, but then the geniuses at Yorkie Central came up with the Raisin & Biscuit variation. Absolutely loved that. Back then the biscuit pieces were peanut sized and really good. At some point some cunt decided to change that and the biscuit component became tiny little dots. Ruined it. Bastards.
Even back then I did prefer a savory snack. My absolute favourite was Golden Wonder Rock ‘n’ Rollers (Salt & Vinegar flavour), Frazzles, Chipsticks and Smax. My childhood was complete when Golden Wonder came out with Sausage & Tomato flavour crisps. Lovely stuff.
Yank crisps are shite for the most part. Absurd and revolting flavours like Chive & Sour Cream, FFS. There’s also Yank versions of British classics like KitKat – which is utter dogshit. The problem the Yanks have is they think Hershey’s is chocolate. I think the Brits would use that crap to mend roads.
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Agreed, IY.
Pringles are overpriced powdery shit. Hersheys are like bars of coated vomit. And Nutella is dog turd in a jar.
And one sugar drenched Krispy Creme doughnut for over three pounds? A load of extortionate overrated crap.
We can still get the Golden Wonder crisps in our local Iceland. Meat flavours 18 pack. They are still the best crisps.
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Hi Norman!
My crisp flavour of choice has for many years been Cheese & Onion. Love ’em. I’ve tried all sorts of brands over the years and Golden Wonder are the best. They have an almost creamy flavour to them rather than the obvious tartness you get with other brands. Almost impossible to find these days. Many people seem to think UK crisps begin and end with Walkers. I’m not a fan partly because of their association with an outspoken woke jug eared self-defecating negro.
All that said, my ultimate savory snack is BBQ Beef Hula Hoops. Whenever I manage to get my hands on a 6 pack of those, they’re all gone in one sitting. Do I feel guilty afterwards? Nope!
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I liked them Fish and Chips things.
They were fish and chip shaped biscuits that were salt and vinegar flavoured.
They are still available,
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An online Brit shop over here stocked those, Norm. I gave them a whirl and liked them. The packets were quite small though, so I was forced to eat about 4 of them at a time.
Good texture and flavour though.
5
The almond Yorkie – with full almonds – from the 80s was the bollocks. Absolutely superb.
Only thing that comes near these days is the Aldi chocolate. That has full nuts in it. The almond and the hazelnut ones are really good.
Also, it’s totally criminal that Topics have been discontinued. And red Bounty bars are now very hard to find as well.
5
I had completely forgotten about the almond Yorkie.
I think Yorkies are still a thing, right? If so, do they still have the slogan down the side “Not For Girls”? Hope so. Although I wouldn’t mind seeing Lacey Chabert handle a Yorkie….if you know what I mean.
https://s3.amazonaws.com/ultracart/im/WOA/4DED8C30432EE6016D8ECE21CE2DB100?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAZHH5JGS62ZZ5XJXF&Expires=1742408214&Signature=Q%2BYl7EIFSqPtSBdwxl7NNO%2BnbIA%3D
1
Yorkies are still around, IY.
But the ‘not fo girls’ bit isn’t there any more. Me Too, woke and all that.
I’d like to see Christina Hendricks. or Hayley Atwell with a Yorkie. But, it would get lost in their monumental whammers.
3
Seabrook beef flavour crisps are bloody lovely.
2
Seabrooks are nice. I agree.
Brannigans Beef and Horseradish crisps are ace.
3
Those square fruit sweets were nice.
Tooty Frooties.
Sherbert Dips were good and all.
Never bothered with the licorice stick or the lollipop.
I just used to just down the sherbert.
4
Sherbert Dips could be deadly though. If you tried to chug the sherbert and happened to breathe in at the wrong moment, a choking death would likely claim you.
Because of that we always tried that trick on ‘friends’ at school to see if we could induce a choking fit. Just for a laugh. You know how it was…..it’s funny if it’s not you.
6
Like one of those Japs on a Pacific island still fighting WW2 I still refuse to call Opal Fruits starburst,
Or a Marathon a snicker.
Too American for me.
Toffos were definitely a top sweet as were Spangles,
Spangles used to be in British army ration packs.
Sweets were better back then .
Now it’s all fizzy sour jelly haribo shite.👎
Fuck that.
Not worth getting the diabetes for.
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Fizzbombs. For when you needed to strip the skin off the roof of your mouth.
4
And now,
Gone are the days of Toffo, Opal Fruits and Spangles.
We are reduced to sucking Werthers original in a armchair with a blanket over us to fend off the chill!
Confectionarily disadvantaged.
No more WHAM!! Bars and Drumstick lollies fresh from the factory in New Mills,
” Daddy Daddy, does Willy Wonka live there?”
No more the luxury of a Fruit salad or Blackjack ,
A highland toffee bar that you had to temper over a open flame before you could bite through it.
No more jars shaken out on the scale for a quarter of chocolate Brazil’s or Lyons fruit salad☹️
Oh and don’t bother with Maynard’s Fruit salad.
Nowadays they taste like wax.
Fuckin yank cunts have bought the company and ruined it.
The fat fuckers.
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Maynards are fucked, Miserable.
Destroyed by those Mondelez shitehawks.
4
Anyone still got their own teeth on here?
Just asking! 😃🦷
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More fingers than teeth.
But then I never wanted to be a Osmond😂
8
I have Cuntlaugs.
But two fo them are gold. Put there in 1992.
A lot of work done on them recently though. Couldnt see or even get a dentist throughout the lockdown. Re-registered in late 2023. Had some work done on my teeth at Salford Royal Hospital of all places. They did a good job, and all the staff and dentists were fit and (astonishingly) white women.
3
21 left Cuntalugs, I haven’t included the three crowned ones.
Thanks for asking.
My dental practice, after they re-opened post pandemic, took the opportunity to rid theirselves of all clients who were liable to need extensive work that they got paid a fixed fee for, so lucky me I no longer have a dentist.
1
I used to get 3d, yes old pre-decimal currency, spending money.
I used to buy 2oz of spearmint pips ( tiny sweets, about the size of a match head), and still have money left for liquorice whips.
3
Because McVities factory lies on the border of Stockport and Levenshulme,
Lots of biscuits were sold in big cardboard boxes with : not for resale ‘ on the side,
Which blokes would buy for the family.
My dad would bring these home,
Full of Penguin biscuits or united biscuits,
Us kids would gorge on them,
Sell them at school,
Trade them etc.
McVities don’t make United biscuits now, not sure why?
They were popular.
I used to like Jacobs club biscuits,
The fruit ones ,
Don’t make them anymore either.
Now they do “salted caramel”?
Salted fuckin caramel?
What the fucks that?!!
Yanks again.
4
The mint Club biscuits used to be dark chocolate. Not any more.
Anyone remember the 54321 biscuits? They were nice, and they had the Manfred Mann hit on the advert.
1
Should do a cunting for the price of a Freddo.
3
Taking the chance that nobody mentioned The Footage Detectives, Mike Read and Noel Cronin from the Talking Pictures TV channel, who mention every week sweets from the past. Some I’ve never even heard of.
2