But Mum, you’re squandering MY inheritance!
Now, am I alone in thinking that the money in my accounts is mine, to spend as and when I think fit?
I have just been watching Heartbeat, and one character ( about 40) was berating his father for this, so I had a little Google, and I can tell you that the link is one of very many.
How have we raised a generation that would rather see their parents penny pinch, instead of being warm, well fed and comfortable, so they can benefit from their parents good sense?
A few months ago, I was complaining about hair loss, now I’m wondering about my sanity.
Nominated by : Jeezum Priest
I spend mine on booze, holidays and prostitutes.
The rest i waste.
30
probably because they need it more because they have a life ahead?
0
Good nom de plume, twat!
9
Great nom JP and that leads me onto a little aside…well-to-do parents who very kindly plan to leave their offspring some money would be well advised to take their offspring’s spouse’s greediness into consideration.
People get hastened into the great beyond for surprisingly small amounts of money, let alone some golddigging Lady Macbeth cunt encouraging their weak husband to do the dirty deed.
Doesn’t matter what I die of, I’ll make sure that one of my daughters-in-law gets the blame.
21
Definitely squander it just to keep it out of the hands of Rodney the charmless man.
If not he will be buying translation macaws for illegals and paying for fat man lammys food bill.
22
I’m sure Lammy’s enormous food bill is already covered. Da KFC, waddymelon, grape juice, jaffa cakes and, not forgetting, da Andrex, bum wipes and a toilet bowl auger.
7
I did a removal for this bloke,
And he said
“Careful with that!
That’s my inheritance!”
It was a mirror with Manchester United on it
Like you won at the fairground in the 70s, with the Fonz on or the Bay city Rollers.
That was his inheritance 😂
Broke my fuckin heart.
Hardly worth the wait?
Fuck me.
21
Been there Mis. When my father died he left a second-hand Avenger with £300 owing on it.
14
My inheritance is a old side by side decommissioned shotgun Arfur.
My dad’s old gun.
But that’s all I want anyway,
I’m not into vulturism.
12
John steed or Emma peel, arfur?
8
Emma with any luck Baz!
3
I don’t know, personally … I guess if the kids were decent & led a good existence, .. ‘reward’ that … if not, then liquidise & blow the lot in the nick of time and leave the cunts with the funeral bill!
That would have been my way, but me & the missus were never blessed with children 💔 …
13
^ that’s an ironic broken heart, by the way. Reflecting on myself being a smart alec horrible little cunt in my mid-teens, I decided I’d hate to have an offspring and it turn out to be such a little cheeky cunt… or it be a stupid one, or … etc. So got the irreversible snip at the earliest opportunity. (Best decision I ever made).
9
I wouldn’t have the snip m8, but I’ve got 3 adult kids and they were/are a constant drain of resources/money/energy/peace etc.
I can’t say I regret having them, but if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t do the same again.
Guess that’s why having a firm, young and ‘agile’ wife is so much fun at the time, cuz if kids came along before the gymnastics there would be no gymnastics.
6
It’s certainly not any parents fault their kids can’t afford to buy a house and seem to be “living hand to mouth”..
Try looking to the British State,the one that has dumped perhaps 20 million foreigners onto us and never bothered to think what the consequences might be.
Anyhow,any offspring that harboured those sort of thoughts are proper cunts,and should be left penniless anyway.
Spoilt Bastárds.
Good morning.
18
The politicians DID think about the consequences.
This shit-show is exactly what they want.
6
My two spend silly money on the latest iPhone, and brag about the great “deal” they got, but whine and moan when their partners wants to spend a similar amount on a bandsaw, or a bit of rare Queen memorabilia!
Go figure.
4
A 28 yr old woman that I work with told me she had had a massive row with her parents, and said she could not forgive them for what they had said/done…it took a few days for the story to come out, but basically she had seen a Caribbean holiday she liked the look of , for her and the fiance ,that cost about £5k, had gone to the parents to ask for the money ( no suggestion of borrowing, just hand it over) and they had just said “no”. She really could not comprehend and found it outrageous. I said she probably wouldn’t want my opinion on the matter then – now she doesn’t speak to me either! ( it’s an ill wind)
4
Interestingly, if the income tax allowance is not increased (both the tories and Labour have said that it will be frozen until 2028 ), some pensioners whose sole income is the state pension will pay income tax on it next year.
FFS , what is going on?
15
Those dinghy hotels won’t pay for themselves and let’s not forget that Starmer and Reeves hate the old so taxing them is one step to increasing pensioner poverty hastening their demise so that their estate can either be taxed to fuck or at least frees up another house for an africunt.
17
The thieving cunts will do anything to raise taxes.
In November 2023 I lost my brother, I was sole beneficiary of his will, his estate was below the inheritance tax threshold.
I also got what was in his private pension, he had only drawn 13 months out of it. I am sure I read, at some point in the near future, liebour are going to tax private pensions when someone leaves one when they die.
If the pension had been Included it would have been over the inheritance tax threshold. So in theory, in my case, they would have taken a lump of the pension, and 40% of anything above the inheritance tax limit.
I’ve always worked, and told my lad he has to do the same, I am beginning to wonder if it’s worth it.
My son will get my house, but I wonder if it’s worth leaving anything else, because the state will grab a large chunk of whatever anyone leaves.
12
What’s going on? I’ll tell you what is going on – Starmtrooper wants to expand the state and what better way of doing it than employing several thousands of shiny new HMRC staff to administer, oversee and enforce the new tax arrangements.
9
Oh, but the triple-lock… Yada Yada Yada.
4
I deal with these types of cunts daily.
People in late middle age hassling their very elderly parents to pay for expensive goods.
I imagine that at funerals they are like flies round shit.
One woman who must have been in her 60’s was crying when she told me, “Nobody has ever left me anything”.
I have a different dilemma.
Nobody to leave anything to.
A worthless piece of shit of a son who will get fuck all either from me or his mother.
The local dogs home is going to do very well.
19
Spend it now Artful.
Make a l8st of all the things you wish you’d done, then do them.
6
TAC,
For me it is the local donkey sanctuary. It is called Flicka and near to Falmouth. I visit there at least twice a week and the donkeys always seem pleased to see me although that could be because I bring them ginger nuts which they love.
Should any of you lot be in the area Flicka is well worth a visit.
13
Had a neighbour when I was a kid who had to pay petrol etc before her son and daughter in law would visit. Son was ok the daughter in law was a cunt. When the lady passed the daughter in law was at the house before the lid was fixed down. Nothing changes does it?
7
I hope this nom isn’t aimed at me JP?
While I stand to inherit your antique button collection I don’t have designs on your wealth and think you should spend it as you see fit.
On luxury sofas and the like.
11
After JP has finished romancing Vera from the Legion on cheap red wine and SAGA river cruises there isn’t going to be much left Mis.
10
They’ll all be after JP down the Darby & Jone club LL.
He’s got a 4seater sofa, taken to wearing a cravat and wearing spats.
Sheffield’s answer to the Great Gatsby
16
Of course not, Mis.
I actually want to leave my estate ( apart from the antique wooden button collection) to the Lass, as Elder and Younger have had plenty out of me over the years.
Both have their own homes and earn a decent crack, too. Unfortunately, the Lass is only 15, so anything I leave her now would be held in trust ( and I don’t trust either of them to do right by her) so I hope I can hold on until October 2027, when she’ll be 18. 🤞🤞
8
Good man !!
I hope you do too.👍👍
9
Couldn’t agree more. Over the years I’ve been unavoidably within earshot of countless entitled twats spouting about ‘my inheritance’. Obnoxiously greedy sorts, and mostly women, who’ve already done very well for themselves, thank you, who would not stop short of parenticide to get their ungrateful, grasping claws on a bit more. Where’s their fucking proof of ownership? I remember one pampered and selfish bitch bragging about a cruise along the Pacific coast of South America that she was going to take ‘out of my inheritance’ at a time when her old mother was still alive. I inherited £4000 and my wife was left nothing. Our kids will do better than that but aren’t trying to hurry it along because they’ve been brought up to live in moderation and to fend for
themselves, as was I. If I got so much as a sniff of anything to the contrary I’d blow the lot.
11
I got a Kukri Gurkha knife from my dad which he picked up in the navy when he was in Singapore probably.
Needs a good sharpening and has the original scabbard and even the pointy end is intact Idris Elba. Just sitting on my shelf and not sticking out of some diverse yoof, amazing right?
14
If you draw it from it’s sheath, it must taste blood before it can return.
2
It’s a difficult one. We have the good fortune to have two decent hard working kids who are good to us and when we’re dead they’ll share everything we’ve got. They have cost us a fortune over the years but we don’t begrudge a penny of it. They both rent houses and are kept out of buying by the standard method of requiring a big deposit which renters cannot raise due to the exorbitant rent they have to pay. Tied in with this is how to keep our hard earned out of the maw of the tax man or financial institutions. We did consider equity release to help them out. The elder took advice from a close friend in finance and then they both came round and absolutely forbade us from doing so. As I say, it’s difficult.
14
yep – i do believe equity release is a con. What you want is to dispose of the house before you croak it or get crook. There must be a point in one’s life where it is better to sell up, liquidate everything and move into rented. Then let the government pay for everything. I haven’t quite worked it out yet.
10
Sorry to disappoint you Lord C, but I don’t think you ever will. “Deprivation of Capital” is the term used.
https://www.leading.uk.com/what-can-i-buy-that-is-not-deprivation-of-capital/
6
Those fucking equity release ads used to annoy me (surprise surprise) .. but it was specifically the all-out cheek of at least 2 of yhe cunts that used to suggest that people might like to use equity release to put an extension(sun room or garage) on the place, or a new kitchen.
‘Borrow’ from the moneylenders at a ridiculous rate, all told, … then use your extortionatly-rated borrowings to ADD value to the fucking house they will be taking ownership of in a few years time.
Nearly admirable in their cheek, but their despicableness outweighs that.
6 months to live, unexpectedly, though? .. maybe .. maybe .. ha ha burn the fucking thing to the ground with a few days to go ….
14
Do not ever consider equity release. These people aren’t in it for any altruistic reasons. They are vultures in suits. Enormous cunts, if you will.
I’ve heard RIO mortgages may be a better bet for raising modest sums of capital against your property, especially if your prospective inheritors are able to fund the (interest only) mortgage payments. All they have to pay back to the mortgage company is the capital sum borrowed, which they can do upon inheritance. Gives them an early part inheritance, if they are desperate for a property of their own.
6
Got nowt from my father (re-married and the cow wasn’t too upset that she couldn’t pocket all the cash – she did give me one of his old jumpers, which was generous!). Mum died with very little except her flat – which, for some reason, the HMRC cunts thought the majority of which was theirs, not mine and my brothers. Lady C and I have worked our arses off over the years. I am sure as fuck not giving 40% to the cunts in government, so will make sure my kids have it – why shouldn’t they have a flat rather than my estate paying for an immos flat? I did think of converting the bulk of it to sovereigns which, being legal tender, are VAT free.
14
I think you’ve nailed it there Lord C. What pisses me off and I’m sure many others, is not so much the tax we pay as where it is spent or rather wasted. Hare brained net zero schemes which inevitably will collapse having wasted billions, benefits for the work-shy, armies of the pointless and useless in the public sector, immos whose only useful contribution to society would be if they died today, the list goes on.
10
Also Capital Gains Tax free.
As are Brittania’s.
Atkinson’s of Sutton Coldfield are a good firm to deal with
Fill yer boots Lord C.
Good afternoon 👍
8
Thx Jack – sound advice
1
I see plenty of elderly cunts struggling financially whilst their adult kids are doing beery nicely..
Truth is family has been replaced by state and old and young expect the state to pay for their relatives needs and hence feel no duty or obligation.
11
I hate cunts who live off either their parents money or fame.
Cara Delegvigne, Callum Best ( a real cunt), those Beckham shitheads. Not to mention the children of David Gilmour, Bryan Ferry and other cunts.
Funny, how none of these kids ever do a proper job in their lives. Take the U2 offspring. All their kids are either ‘actors’ ‘models’ or in ‘bands’ Mind you, Bonio’s daughters are pretty tasty though.
12
Who do you reckon was the worst footballing offspring of a famous player Norm? Jordi Cruyff takes some beating.
5
Jordi was a soft fairy cunt, Liberal. A total snob, only ate in a posh Spanish Manchester restaurant. Always complained about English food and weather. I know a lady who worked in said restaurant, and Cruyff Junior would only eat fresh fish that arrived the same day. And he’d throw a paddy if he didn’t get it.
As a player? Needless to say, nothing like his father. Lazy fucker, terrible attitude, could not (would not) get stuck in or put a shift in, right sulky bastard.
A real moment of Fergie transfer madness. Did old Purple Nose expect him to be another Johann Cruyff? Because he sure as shit wasn’t. You’ve heard of the legendary ‘Cruyff Turn’? Well, I ve seen oil tankers turn quicker than Jordi. Lazy surly uppity cunt.
That Summer of 96 was a strange one. I recall sitting in a bombed out Manchester city centre. Reading on my paper that United had signed a few new players at the same time. Two of them, Ronniy Johnsen and Ole Gunner Solksjaer were both great. While Cruyff and Poborsky were fucking useless. Poborsky was like a clockwork 70s Troll Doll.
2
Worst ever? Darren Fucking Ferguson.
Got into the United frst team because he was Fergie’s son.
He was nowhere near good enough to be in that side.
And, when he became a manager, Daddy used to loan him United players and arrange friendlies. However, when the useless Fergie Junior was deserbedly sacked, Ferguson Senior pulled all United loan players out and severed all ties with the clubs Darren Ferguson managed.
5
I’m glad you remembered Darren before I reminded you.
Shit footballer and as you say, as blatant a beneficiary of nepotism as you’ll ever see in the game.
2
Good nom this.
I stand to inherit a funeral bill when my parents snuff it so I’m not invested in any of this kind of behaviour.
It does however remind me of a job from a few years ago where an elderly old dear had us round to measure up for some home improvements. Nothing extravagant but maybe a grand and a half worth of business.
Anyways, the following day, her daughter and grand daughter were in, shitting themselves and telling me to roll back on all the materials and provide the absolute bare minimum instead.
Obviously terrified that the old woman was going to spend too much of their inheritance.
Well that’s how it came across to me.
11
I hope you told them where to stick their instructions, HJ. The one paying the piper calls the tune, after all.
5
Nothing quite so pathetic as a thirty something man-child, holed up in his bedroom and playing the Xbox all night, sleeping all day and refusing to get a job, shower or move out.
The shit excuse for this behaviour is “When my Nan and grandad die, I’ll be a millionaire. So I don’t need to work”.
If that Nan and grandad are reading this, please leave everything to the dog’s trust or the local donkey sanctuary.
Thanks in advance.
Odin.
17
My family used to be turf cutters on Lindow common, Cheshire where they found Pete the Lindow man.
My grandad inherited a cottage there,
And some family moaned about it,
So he told them to shove it up their hoops.
That cottage and the ground it stood on is now in prime footballer territory with celebs and united players there,
So easily worth a million plus?
11
My Mum inherited my granddad’s washing basket.
He was skint and she only wanted something that reminded her of him on a regular basis.
My Dad’s Dad had the Jehovah’s witnesses get to him and changed his will to leave everything to the church on his death bed.
A sizable amount that was meant for his kids and grandkids, stolen by shifty, dodgy god botherers with no morals.
The wife still has to restrain me when those shiny eyed freaks come looking to sell the watchtower round our area.
8
They are certainly a scourge Odin, parasites. I’m sure like all organised religions/cults they would be rated by normal folks as fabulously wealthy. When you think that they became rich by robbing the ancestors of the poor sods who still follow their proselytising today. I was going to say I hope they come knocking one day when your wife happens to be out but I’m afraid you would get in trouble for beating up the scumbags.
5
Last time I had a knock from the sanctimonious cunts, I was up to the eyeballs scrubbing shitty nappies.
I invited them in to help out but they suddenly had urgent business elsewhere, that was about 45 years ago. Never had a knock since.
5
The only inheritance our kids will get will be our passports so they can recap our adventures with every stamped page 😎✈️⛴️….well there’s one thing mam and dad did, they enjoyed themselves 👍
13
I’m leaving all my dosh to the Markles. I feel they need it more than my family.
Keeping 18 khazis on the go must cost them a fortune in Harpic.
12
I’ve just spent a bit more of the kids money..🏍️
https://www.honda.co.uk/motorcycles/range/street/gb350s/specifications-and-price.html#model=gb350s_2025&bike=gb350s&colour=nh-c47p_pearl_deep_mud_grey
12
@doc…. I’m unfortunately an ex biker and used to love a big throbber between my legs 🏍️….oooh matron
8
You’re a disgrace Doc. Can I have a go?
Must say electric start on a bike always seems a bit wimpy to me. What’s wrong with your leg?
9
Lovely piece of engineering. Honda take some beating IMHO from cars to lawnmowers.
7
That new Honda looks like being a best seller. I would like one but would be excommunicated from the one true faith – Moto Guzzi.
5
It will sit nicely alongside the CRF1100….🏍️
5
I must admit that l have a Honda SH125i for journeys up to 20 miles. It is perfect for shopping trips and I don’t mind it getting wet which seems to be the eternal weather in Cornwall.
Honda make some beautiful engines; the rest of their bikes are pretty good too.
3
Doc, (may l be familiar) , l wrote that Honda make beautiful engines- in an engineering sense. The most beautiful engine as a work of of art is , in my opinion, the 1950s Gilera ridden by Gods such as Bob Mc Intyre.
Lady Guzzi thinks that l am a sad old twat too.
3
I briefly had a CBX in the late eighties, needed the money for house deposit/ marriage/ kids.
That was a engine of excellence.
Still got the wife though..!
3
O / T. Mike Amesbury has been jailed for ten weeks 👍😃
I normally wouldn’t get the Brandy bottle out this early.
But today I’ll make an exception.
Looks like a by election is in the offing. 😀
Go Nigel !!! 👍👍
20
He will only serve 40% or four weeks but the real prize will hopefully be a recall petition and a by-election.
15
Unfortunately MPs have land at least a year in clink before they are automatically removed.
As LL correctly states, a recall petition is the only way to force a by election.
11
O/T
The little Labourite cunt, Mike Amesbury has been sent to prison for common assault
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cx2rnp29p7xt
12
I hope the entitled cunt in the nom has dried his eyes, I would cut him off without anything.
Pull your finger out you cunt, go without the iphone, coffees etc you might be able to save some money.
11
A British couple detained in Iran last week. A British couple just been detained by the Taliban in Afghanistan. Story just coming out of a young British woman travelling alone in a remote part of Vietnam being molested by two men.
Talk about shit for brains.
12
Sorry, should have prefixed OT.
9
I have no idea what my folks are worth and to be honest, I don’t care. I’d much prefer they spend what they have on themselves. They’ve earned it and it’s theirs after all.
What bothers me is they appear to have made no provision for their passing. They’ll eventually pass away having made no tax efficient plans. Instead of myself and my sisters getting a few quid, the fucking government will end up helping themselves to what my folks leave behind and spend it on 3rd world filth living in relative luxury.
Maybe I’m being a wuss, but how do you bring up responsible financial planning for someone’s death without sounding like you’re gleefully rubbing your hands together in anticipation of a pay out? Nothing would make me happier for my folks to spend every last penny they have and give two fingers to 2TK and his thieving cunt chancellor.
It’s a sad truth that while you’re working, the government want your taxes and the moment you’re not working, they want you to die. Either way they win and that’s why inheritance tax is just plain evil.
11
Great post, IY. My wife’s Aunt, who lives opposite our house will be 85 next month, not in the very best of health, although nothing serious. She is waiting to die as she isn’t the most altogether upstairs and thinks her ailments are the most painful, serious and life-limiting (which they aren’t). To be honest, we don’t expect a penny of her estate, but she simply will not make any arrangements on her demise.
It will all fall to my wife’s father (her brother). The poor sod is 81 himself next month and will need the hassle of dealing with her estate like an extra arsehole.
We keep on at her and she just doesn’t want to listen. Sorry to sound mean-spirited but IMHO some old folk don’t deserve to live a long life if all they have to do is whinge about hoping to be under the earth soon.
6
Cheers Paul. I’d imagine the scenario you described is being played out millions of times over.
Getting involved in probate aggravation at 81 (or older) sounds stressy and who wants to deal with that in their 80s?
Your last sentence brought back some memories. My dearly departed nan used to whinge, moan and complain about her ailments every single time we visited. We lost count of how many times she was at “death’s door”. Lived through WW2, never had much in her hard life and yet lived to be 96. Remarkable.
4
Making a will is easy, and you can put your funeral instructions in it, too.
It doesn’t cost a fortune. Also getting probate sorted isn’t as daunting as it sounds, just time consuming, assuming the will is straight forward.
I’m going to have to get my will redone in about 2.5 years, but I’ll make sure there’s funds for a solicitor to sort probate, transfer the house deeds etc.
I’ll have pre-paid for a simple cremation, just got to hang on until then ( and hopefully a while longer, I’m still having fun!)
5
A will is all well and good, but only deals with stuff after someone has died. I’m told there are things that can be done while you’re still alive that are much more tax efficient. Waiting until you’ve passed away exposes assets to the bastard tax man to a much greater degree. Without thinking things through while you’re still alive will only result in the surviving rellies getting less and the fucking government getting more. That’s the point.
My own will is ace. I have given strict instructions that my will must be read aloud to surviving rellies in The London Dungeon at midnight by a Vincent Price impersonator, dressed as the Grim Reaper.
5
I’m sure Shaun will be happy to oblige, IY.
4
I suppose it depends on the size of your estate. Mine will be below the figure that attracts IT , but it’s always a good idea to keep up to date on these things, after all our current Government seems to be very fond of moving the goalposts.
Private pension pots, farms and ISAs today, who knows what Rachel’s little magpie eyes will light on next!
3
Ps, I’ve been sleeping much better since I got co-codomol, so thanks for the tip, much appreciated!
1
My old dad worked all his life, 7 years in the army during the big war.
When he retired he went hiking in Africa and the Himalayas !! A real tough cunt.
Cancer took him in his early 70’s, glad he spent is money.
He deserved it.
4
These cunts seem to forget that one day they’ll be the parents with freckles kids after their dosh
0