‘Baby Baby Oh Whoa Baby Baby…’
I’ve always quite liked music of The Carpenters. Sure, they could be a bit cheesy, but my, that girl had a voice that was as effortlessly smooth as silk.
However there’s one song of theirs that I detest; I wonder if you can guess which it is? That’s right, it the one with the lines ‘don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby/ baby baby baby baby oh baby…’.
Yes, this is a cunting for the use of the word ‘baby’ by songwriters. It’s nothing new of course. Turn the clock back a hundred years or more and you’ll find the likes of ‘and I’d like to be your sister, brother, dad and mother too, pretty baby…’ **.
It’s such a useful little word for a songwriter. It can be fitted in very easily, and that’s the trouble I suspect. It’s usefulness is such that’s become ubiquitous over the years, the lyricist’s cliché of clichés. Even songwriting greats of the modern era such as Dylan and Lennon and McCartney couldn’t avoid falling into the ‘baby’ trap at some point.
Okay, maybe I’m being a bit idiosyncratic with this one. It’s just that the funny thing is, in all my years on this mortal coil, I can honestly say that I can’t recall ever hearing a person use the term when speaking to another. Neither can the wife, or any friend I’ve mentioned this to whenever we’ve been discussing music. Yet it comes up time after time in so many songs that it really gets on my bloody nerves.
I guess I could put up with one or two ‘baby’s in a song, but too many and it just becomes intolerable. I give you exhibit one for the prosecution, that tuneless little nerk Justin Bieber, who seems to be going for an entry into The Guinness Book of Records for use of the word ‘baby’ in his song entitled, er, ‘Baby’…
Of course, Bieber really knows how to gild the lily. Throw some ‘oh oh whoa oh oh oh’s and plenty of ‘uh huh’s into the mix, and round it all off with some baseball capped buffoons jigging away like demented gay ferrets, and you’ve got pubescent girls by the thousand moistening their panties and parting with their cash. So perhaps it’s simply the case that ‘baby’ pays.
Oh baby baby oh baby baby oh yeah yeah hit me baby one more time. Classic.
** I say steady on; you can get done for that.
Nominated by : Ron ‘baby’ Knee
Shhh Ron…don’t say ‘baby’ too loud, you’ll excite Huw Edwards.
19
@ ron…Stop being a cry baby 😭…
If it was good enough for Noddy then … baby,baby,baaaaaabbyyy 🎶
11
Never heard Lemmy growl “baby”.
7
The Motörhead / Girlschool link up (Headgirl) did “Please Don’t Touch” which is littered with the word baby. From memory I’m sure Lemmy grunted a few out.
5
The man who wrote Young Girl died recently “You’d better run girl, you’re much too young girl”. If only Dirty Ange had taken that advice when she was 15 she might not have become the old slapper she is today.
22
God I hate that fucking song. It’s on my ‘Done to Death Songs’ list, along with such played into the ground efforts as ‘Yesterday’, ‘My Way’, Bohemian Rhapsody’, ‘Hallelfuckinujah’ and ‘Merry Christmas Everybody’.
Given its somewhat dodgy lyric, I’m surprised that it gets any plays these days.
12
The cunts that see Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ as a Christmas record. That brain deas bimbo Catherine Jenkins on telly, saying ‘Hallelujah’ was a ‘lovely festive hymn.’
She really is thick as fuck.
8
That brain dead bimbo Catherine Jenkins
8
Bollocks to that overrated and overplayed Cohen/Buckley dirge.
Here is the definitve Hallelujah
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAk6Euat-6A
4
I think I could tolerate her company for a while, esp. if she makes a decent breakfast;
https://www.dailystar.co.uk/pics/celebrity-photos/gallery/sexy-opera-singer-katherine-jenkins-18762044
5
Unlike the word `cunt`, Ron, which is sadly rarely used in libretti.
However, 31 here …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bZfzscQMjU
Anyone beat that?
9
Dirty little minx. She’s hot!
9
She gave me the right raging horn in a million ways to die in the west.
3
Yeah, and she was funny with it;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlwh5x9eHBM
4
Baby your a rich man.
Never figured that fuckr out. Lennon off his tits.
4
According to some sources, Lennon used to wind up Brian Epstein. By singing ‘Baby, you’re a rich phag jew’.
0
Changing the word from baby to cunt in songs could be interesting.
9
This has always been one of my pet hates, not just in songs either. I was watching a yank film recently and if they’d edited out all the times people called each other ‘baby’ the whole thing would have lasted twenty seven minutes.
10
A fine notion indeed, Cuntus.
Although a similar substitution word game is `wank` for `dance`.
Songs, films, TV, whatever – there`s a rich harvest to be reaped.
Here`s a starter for 10: “Strictly Come Wanking” – instantly improved I think you will agree. Or perhaps the Bowie classic, “Let`s Wank”.
Over to you cunters …
🕺🏿
13
What a great idea!
9
W@nking in the Moonlight – Thin Lizzy
W@nking on the Ceiling – Lionel Ritchie
W@nk to the Music – Sly & the family Stone
Come W@nking – The Kinks
Endless possibilities.
11
The Drifters; ‘Save the Last Wank For Me’
The Shadows; ‘Wank On’
Genesis; ‘I Can’t Wank’
Whitney Houston; ‘I Want To Wank With Somebody’
The Motors; ‘Wank the Night Away’
Lionel Ritchie; ‘Wanking On the Ceiling’
11
There’s some fun to be had with this.
Films:
Wanks with Wolves.
Dirty Wanking
Flashwank
Save the last wank
Wank Marathon
6
Born to Wank – Bruce Springsteen
We Don’t Wank Anymore – Cliff Richard
Wank Me to the Moon – Frank Sinatra
A Hard Day’s Wank – The Beatles
6
Ivor biggun
I’m a dancer.
3
You`re getting a bit carried away, LL. It`s `wank` for `dance` only, or we`ll be here forever.
Tina Charles` “My Baby Just Loves To Wank”, for example.
4
Private W@nker – Tina Turner
Tiny W@nker – Elton John
W@nking in the Street – Martha Reeves and the Vandellas.
All this talk of dancers reminds me, do we still not know where Miserable is?
4
I think he’s in Norfolk, or possibly Wales.
1
Talking of Mis has reminded me of W@nk of the Sugarplum Fairy – Tchaikovsky
3
As an aside, Leonard Cohen`s “Wank Me To The End Of Love” was originally written by the late genius, Benny Hill …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvGBj1CFetk
🎻
1
Let’s W@nk – David Bowie.
Everbody W@nk – Chic.
W@nking On The Valentine EP – Duran Duran.
Mustapha W@nk – The Clash.
You Make Me Feel Like W@nking – Leo Sayer
7
Mary Jane’s last w@nk – Tom Petty
W@nk M0nkey – Tones and I
Everybody W@nk now – C&C Music Factory
Ron wins with his Whitney Houston and Drifters contributions.
2
‘Baby’ is bad.
‘Babe’ is dreadful.
Yes, that’s you I’m talking to, Sonny and Cher.
6
How about “bairn”, Geordie?
👶🏿
2
How about ‘mtoto mchanga’ Sam?
2
They were delicious, Geordie.
🍴
2
One of popular music’s worst haircuts there from Mr B, and a reminder of how much work Cher’s had done over the years;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JxIw58lkHQ
Following on from Allan’s idea, ‘I Got You, Cunt’ would definitely have living that TOTP up a bit.
10
Well no worse than the tree swingers dropping the N bomb every other word.
5
Afternoon CM…a brilliant letter from ‘Viz’ years ago:
How come Dr Dre and Snoop Doggy Dogg can use the ‘N’ word as much as they like, yet when I shouted it at my son’s under 12’s football match, I was escorted from the ground?
Sets up such an amusing mental image, doesn’t it?!
Someone should’ve shouted it at Anthony Joshua Tree (swinger).
7
Indeed, Thomas. But they are actual ηιggєяѕ you see. So it`s OK. I have no problem.
3
@thomas….he wouldn’t have heard he was snoozing 🥊💤..pile of over hyped 💩
4
Bollocks
2
Tiny Tim singing ‘I Got You Babe’ is a wonder to behold.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jd_7Vw_0DyE
Backed by The Band, no less! 😂
9
Kweer Charmer after the operation
3
Masterpiece!
8
I think Leon Russell wrote ‘Superstar’ for Carpneters.
Karen was a wonderful singer. She was also quite tasty, when she had a bit of meat on her.
Brother Richard, however, was a goggle eyed cousin marrying weirdo.
7
She was really cute before her illness problems.
Such a sad story.
9
Karen carpenter was so thin towards the end that she used to turn up at concerts by fax
9
Ouch!
4
The 12′ single of The Cult’s ‘Love Removal Machine’.
Ian Astbury squawks ‘Baby’ 12 times in a row.
Here’s the 7′ version. Pure cartoon rock.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6PgftKbQnQ
3
What do you mean baby?
Are we not men?
(For those who wish to skip this trip back to the time of de-evolutionary music skip ahead to about 1:40 for the relevant part:)
https://youtu.be/ip-BMGK9bVg?si=ajPVLT9C7AlwSBm8
3
Link broken. Try this instead …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb4BLFzkfO8
May I compliment your superb taste, General. Magnificent album – and look out for the song `Mongoloid` too.
4
Hey Sam,
Funny…my link works. Maybe it’s a UK thing. But nonetheless thanks for the assist.
The whole album is indeed awesome. Devo was so underrated.
How about this one for the disaffected IsaC Faithful:
https://youtu.be/u_HH_jher3c?si=S67mTV9HNuj4583F
4
Devo one of the all time greats.
I’m a particular fan of Demented are go covering the classic Mongoloid.
3
Nice one, General.
Try this one on for size:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJFQ_-WDKfI
🎶 Why did you do it, baby doll? 🎶
4
They blow up so quickly, SCB.
💥
4
Here’s the track the General tried to post:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jadvt7CbH1o
3
@General Cunster
The Rolling Stones get a free pass because they misused the word “baby” in the most correct incorrect way. Also… I can’t hate the Rolling Stones because I was raised by two “baby” boomers.
1
Way ahead of their time, General.
Great days indeed.
3
“They blow up so quickly…”
LOVE that line!
4
Don`t know if you have kiddies` cartoon early learning books “Mr Men” over there in the Colonies, General, but here`s a couple of extra-curricular characters not unsurprisingly missing from the originals …
https://avatars.akamai.steamstatic.com/4a157cc2f0998c342f803f2aa53474fba6982c03_full.jpg
and, not forgetting our womenfolk, of course …
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS_Ll4dvnud034B3l-qIEa4Z9yVaDxxvKq4H86Q5-AIc8k_jMzICn408t3Xbgqfb8iY3iI&usqp=CAU
2
A couple worth mentioning here;
Babe I’m gonna leave you, by Led Zep. Babe not baby, but still a great song,
& the Babys, a great rock group featuring John Waite.
3
Ron “Sugar Baby Love” Knee, is also a nice name.
6
Truly one of the most sickening records ever made, m’lord.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxsNy4NoZUs
Even though it’s tongue in cheek, it’s still a pile of fucking wank.
8
Hee hee.
I shall have that blaring out at my memorial service, just to piss everyone off, may stipulate that it be sung along with in falsetto.
2
Or ‘Loving You’ by Minnie Riperton.
A song that shatters glass. And a song that never showcased her talent.
Her finest hour was this one.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWh9cTxgO4A
2
Bloody Nora.
The wife’s just informed me that they’re STILL performing this pile of steaming wank!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2ABIuIwvUc
Fuck my hat.
1
The only time the great man used to word ‘Baby’ in a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlFcapTPx7s
5
Scott Engel was a very interesting and innovative performer.
5
The only time the other great man used the word “baby” in a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiJVac8bCH8
3
Bon Scott and the splendid 70s version of AC/DC belted out “Baby please don’t go”…with the irreplaceable Bon dressed as a schoolgirl..
So it’s acceptable to me,at least in this instance.
3
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PyJFcsn8B08&pp=ygUUYmFieSBwbGVhc2UgZG9uJ3QgZ28%3D
tremendous
2
*Sigh…..*
Were they ever that young? Was I?
2
It’s not just the inclusion of this word in songs that’s cringe: it’s also the inclusion of this word in everyday lingo between men and women that’s cringe.
I recently sat with my Mum and watched a 2003 episode of Columbo (right at the tail-end of the second incarnation of the show) and there was some British character who kept addressing this missus as “Baby” and “Babes” and it was just cringe. It was cringe in 2003 and it’s cringe now.
4
You beat me to it, TiTS.
I hate hearing adults addressing each other as Babe or Babes.
If you’ve forgotten their name, just say so, you vacuous cunt!
It’s infantilising, reducing a person to a child, it’s careless faked affection, not to mention having all the emotional depth of the cats water bowl!
If you have any regard for a person, use their name. Babe(s) is beyond chavtastic.
4
My wife occasionally calls me baby. I’m too lazy to use two syllables so occasionally call her babes.
3
In Brum you get the truly gruesome revision ‘Bab’, as in ‘yoh alroit Bab?’. It truly makes my toenails curl.
‘Hun’ is another fingernails down the blackboard job for me.
4
Please, not “hun”!
The nightmares will start again.
1
@Ron Knee
“Hun” is another one that annoys me but for other reasons. Chief reason being when some mardy woman posts a huge, ambiguous whine/vent as her status update on Facebook in order to garner sympathy/attention, this results in other simple-minded women inevitably responding with “Are you okay Hun?”
5
OT, but has anyone else been interfered with by Harrods` former owner, Mohamed Al Fayed?
I know I have.
Please, I beg you, Go Fund Me – my waterhole is nearly dry.
5
Yes. Erm, 20 years ago. Before the old cunt was dead. He fingered me in a broom cupboard, with no witnesses.
Christmas is coming and I need money.
5
Yep, I thought so. You are in `denial`, Odin. Hire a barrister. Now. The state will pay for it.
4
You know what Sam,now I think about it….yes I was,definitely.
Is my cheque in the post?
3
Sorry, Uncle – only cash will do, I`m afraid.
4
Yep, Al Fathead groped my twig and berries in the ‘Arrods stockroom and told me that he wanted to bury his mummified tutankhamen button mushroom in my young and tender balloon knot.
I feel SO degraded.
3
I remember that fat cunt Al Fayed and his ‘guest’ Michael Jackson in the directors box at Craven Cottage for a Manchester United visit to Fulham in th early 2000s.
Jackson’s face was a picture, when us travelling Reds fans bellowed, ‘Hey Jacko! Leave them kids alone!’
6
Ohhhh, that’s so deliciously vicious Norman.
I presume it was as in Pink Floyd’s ‘hey teacher leave them kids alone!’
3
Indeed it was, Ron.
Great start of the season fir the Villa.
3
Yes, but
I don’t want to talk about it.
0
In Spanish speaking countries they use ‘corazon’ in nearly every song instead.
4
Doesn’t that translate (roughly) to
” my heart?”
A vast improvement on Baby, Babe or Babes, anyway.
3
Yes it does, and it’s on every fucking song on the radio in the bars round my way
3
Indeed, ‘en mi corazón’ must feature in every other song written in Spanish.
Is there a Spanish equivalent of baby that crops up? Don’t recall hearing ‘oh bebé bebé bebé sí bebé bebé’ much.
But of course, let’s not forget the legendary Mikki Disco…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piKeDrrOrsE
How could we ever forget?
5
Priceless, Ron.
Never seen that before, what a treat!
“Sexy lady”, women dropping at his feet!
2
Indeed JP.
Wonderful stuff from the much lamented ‘Fast Show’, in case you don’t recognise the source.
They also did a marvellous spoof called ‘Jazz Club’, a piss take on an old BBC 2 programme I think;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TebUMhJAKSM
4
I’ve saved that to watch in its entirety, later Ron.
But the first 15 seconds had me howling.
Jaaaaaazzz!
1
For my money, the worst and crappiest song of all time
Maria Maria by Santana.
2
Oh thank you God and thank you Norman.
I fucking despise that song.
It was released just as I was experiencing my first divorce. In Denmark. To a woman named Maria.
They played it every third song on the radio. All day, every day for about 6 months.
It was torture.
4
No worries Odin.
My first wife was fucking horrendous. A complete psycho. And her mother was just as bad. When I finally got rid of them, I de-aged about ten years.I was eleated by the feeling of freedom.
Met the current Mrs Norman a year and a half later, and have been happily married for the past 14 years.
4
A tip!
Always look at the mother before committing yourself to marrying the daughter.
1
Baby Please Don’t Go…
The Amboy Dukes (Ted Nugent) did a great version of this Them (Van Morrison) classic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xPecXqIU1g
2
Maybe baby, Buddy Holly & the Crickets from 1957, was not a bad song.
2
Mrs Norman likes this lot. The Mediaeval Baebes.
Went to see them two years ago near Christmas, in a church in Bolton of all places.
Unusual stuff. Very mIddle Ages. But it was pretty good, I have to say.
And, I have my own thoughts on them myself. Guess what they are?
https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59c80508bce17625eb80fca9/18812bd9-0be1-419b-b92d-0f9323edf5b6/RACHEL+LE+FAYE+26.jpeg?format=1500w
4
Hot as fuck?
2
Men?
1
I wish I had enough hot muck for all 6 but at 63, the last one may just have a gust of wind
1
Fucking brilliant.
Can they sing though?
2
Who cares?
1
They did a wonderful rendition of The Holly and the Ivy. I listen to it every December.
1
I’ve actually just had a listen to them, and all I can say is
Fucking Hell!
I’m blown out of the water!
1
Sounds like six Enyas.
1
When I went ro see them I was waryl, I admit.
I sort of expected a Middle Ages vibe Little Mix. All backing tapes and autotune.
But, not a bit of it. Every note was sung live and they were great. They also signed some stuff for my Mrs. That Katherine Blake is a very niice woman, and none of them are cunts.
1
And that cunt Austin Powers, played by that utter cunt Mike Myers.
How unfunny and awful are those films now? A shite rip-off of Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-in, Connery era Bond and Thunderbirds, crammed with product placement.
Powers/Myers going ‘Yeah, Baby, yeah!’ every other minute. Fucking rank.
2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7b1QnitupWA
Not baby, but fuck.
Couldn’t be bothered counting how many times.
But I think I’ll definitely Fuck Off.
1
Great tune that Jack 👍
Wayne/Jayne County tried to get off with a bloke I know at a gig 😆
And Pete Shelley from the Buzzcocks tried it on with the same bloke!
He should of took a few hits and got a book deal!
0
For what it’s worth I like the Britney Spears song
1
Wank / Wanker for Twist / Twisting:
Wanking the Night Away
Wank and Shout
Oliver Wank
0
The yanks are the ruination of words beyond crudity. It meant I never used their version of tart.
2
Anyone remember this one,”I pud ma baby in da microwave “?
I think it might have been by “Wigans Ovulation “
0