The No Speaka-da-English NHS

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I don’t know about the Afghan imports but increasingly I find I need a fucking translator when visiting thre local abbatoir Hospital. While administrators and receptionists seem to be useless white wimmin oafs necking cream buns and mincing soy boys with beards and tattoo sleeves, the majority of clinical minions seem to be a range of hues, none of them white. This wouldn’t be an issue if they coukd speak English clearly, but they can’t. It’s very hard to understand a lot of them. It’s not motivated by any racism, it ‘s just an observation from the past 3-4 years. Even some of the junior doctors have trouble explaining procedures, results etc.

It’s not just the impenetrable accents, but the confused and muddled pronounciation and word usage..

Collapsed when they constricted.

Sedation when they mean preparation.

They even struggle to communicate basic instructions to patients positioning themselves on a bed or examination couch.

Under the tories, it has been more ‘cost-effective’ to recruit from the likes of the Philippines, India and Nigeria than train up home grown nurses and technicians.

I’m not against foreign doctors and clinical specialists coming here if we need them, but for fuck’s sake make sure they can speak English to the level of a graduate, especially those with heavy accents.

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

48 thoughts on “The No Speaka-da-English NHS”

    • Ooga: It gon rain tomorra. Need fix hole in ma roof. Da rain will wash awa’ all your sins and also de turds Ah have shat on de pavement.

      Patient: Yes, but could you tell me about my x-ray.

  3. Good nom,

    It is only a virtual service these days. Chimps on computers and thickos on the phones. The National List Service will continue to flat-line in the safe hands of Labour. The only improvement on the horizon is that the Unions will be able to buy more chocolate biscuits, more Quality Street, and more pizzas using the money stolen this week from old ladies.

    • Lady Guzzi’s great nephew collapsed at school last week. The walk in centre said it was a virus but the lad was very poorly the next day so his mum took him to A&E where some tests were done. Cancer (Hodgkinson’s ) was confirmed on Saturday.

  4. Probably part of Student Nurse Streeting’s plan to get you to use the private health companies that have given him so much money for his “office” (probably chock-full of butt plugs, lipstick, powder and rent boys). Labour “has a plan” you know.

  5. Oh come on!

    The NHS isn’t for the native English speaking population. That’s why so many of the medical staff are from other countries, how else will they communicate with the people who actually get hospital care?

    Think how comforting it must be, when you’re fresh off the boat/plane, to have your doctor communicate in your native language.

    Then there’s all the money they’ll save by not needing a translator, because if you think Bill Brown from Barnsley is going to get one, you’re barking!

    • If its a protruding spot on your botty, enough to get a piece of cotton tightly round the growth area, it will eventually fall off after a few days. I’ve had them.

    • Sam –
      All IsAC bottom questions are now automatically referred to Huw Edwards.
      He’ll respond to your enquiry in due course.

  7. Here Phillies were given Short term visa until more nurses were recruited.
    Now 20 years later it’s like living in Manila.
    Still they respect you more than the English “I have a degree” supposed nurses.

  8. I went private a few years ago, a hospital on the fringes of Bradford.

    Reception – WHITE
    Consultant – WHITE
    Anaesthetist – WHITE
    All Nurses – WHITE

    Language was not a problem.

    • I have the same staff working at my local General Practitioners surgery and what is naturally nostalgic for me are the surroundings reminiscent of stepping into the past from Dr Finlay’s Casebook, with linenfold panelling walls, no annoying tv or radio, or lifts for patients struggling to mount the flight of stairs, but they can be amused with Punch Magazines that are scattered around. On summer days, you can sit in a pleasant garden without any worries of missing your turn, with someone on hand who’ll arrive to summon you.

    • I have the same staff working at my local General Practitioners surgery and what is naturally nostalgic for me are the surroundings reminiscent of stepping into the past from Dr Finlay’s Casebook, with linenfold panelling walls, no annoying tv or radio, or lifts for patients struggling to mount the flight of stairs, but they can be amused with Punch Magazines that are scattered around. On summer days, you can sit in a pleasant garden without any worries of missing your turn, with someone on hand who’ll arrive to summon you.

      • Is Dr Cameron taking new patients?. Is Janet still the receptionist? – I can see the old chap now “Janet, pour my lunch back into the bottle, lassie”

        Yes, Dr. Cameron

        Arden House is probably more modern than my London GP surgery. I thought Finlay was a young whippersnapper myself.

  9. I had a video consultation with a specialist of uncertain origin. I have no idea what he said.

  11. Thank fuck I’m in decent health.

    I’m praying it lasts.

    Imagine how bad the NHS and GP experience is going to be in another 10 years.

    This isn’t a dig in any way at the genuinely hard working NHS members of staff.

  13. Couldn’t agree more and it’s not just the NHS.
    Everywhere someone is employed that English is not their native language should at least be able to communicate effectively and that goes for fluent speakers with heavy regional accents too.

    • I think BBC 1 will be taking most of those – the ones they haven’t got already, that is.

  15. It’s a fucking joke and no wonder the dinghy dwellers are lining up on the shores of Calais, a kind of D-Day in reverse.

    In other news, I see that useless, fat mincing batty-boy cunt Sam Smith has had a portrait unveiled:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c19kdnm74lyo

    And on the BBC, Huw’s going down, properly going to serve some bird time – I hope he likes showers.

    • If it’s anything like jeffrey Archer in hollesley bay when i was there for DD (my own stupid fault) He received 1000 christmas cards from hollywood stars joanne collins , michael caine Etc, job in the prison library jag parked in the prison grounds, mobile phone , minder, and the ever ‘ fragrant’ wife on regular visits ( the norm being 1 visit / fortnight, doing bird will be a breeze for the nonce cunt.

  16. The NHS is a symptom of the real issue. Badly managed, poor financial controls, idiots over promoted and lots of profiteering on the back of the tax payer.

    Winners: suppliers, senior managers, pharmaceutical companies.

    Losers: Tax payers and end users.

  17. Is that still a thing the NHS?

    I thought everyone was laid off to pay for all the diversity managers and paper pushing management.

    I’m indestructible anyway, only Kryptonite can kill me, or turkish delight..

  18. In the olden days you did not have to be a clinician or qualified nurse to work on the wards. Patients, especially children, could just as easily be examined by a famous DJ or other ‘personality’. Of course, this is not allowed anymore so the service is creaking due to the absence of kindhearted volunteers.

    • There’s a surprise!
      Another swindling pàki cunt and another financial oversight.
      Can anyone hazzard a guess how long this “oversight” would have remained had she not been rumbled?

  21. How many of you were out for last Saturday’s march?

    You all fucking should be

  22. when my eldest went to medical school 10 years ago they intervieved 5000 for 243 places. how many that did not get in would have made fine doctors?

  24. Maybe it’s ab accent problem? An Indian bloke I work with has a very good grasp of English, but because he has a strong accent it took me a while to understand him.

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