Long due for a cunting JD Feral chavs or Weatherspoon’s. (2)

 

Full of folk who moan about the lack of local coffee shops n pubs and never bastard use them instead they pile in the JD hovel and order on the app.

Then there is Sir Tim(who decided to knight him) the Brexit moaner and mop headed cunt himself.

Awful decor, smelly customers with neck tattoos and screaming kids running everywhere. The only plus is Spoons won’t let them bring their XL Bully dogs in.

Carpets that you stick to with some awful flowery 1970s lsd design, then when you get to the bar as the apps died and the cloud ain’t working some chav “lady” with a bad tattoo an fat arse pushes in with a round for 8000 fellow cunts.

When you get served it’s but some spotty kid who tells you that the beer you want is off but they’ve got Ruddles on.

independent

Nominated by Paul Goddard, link by Mingejuice Bottler.

57 thoughts on “Long due for a cunting JD Feral chavs or Weatherspoon’s. (2)

  1. It’s shite, abolutely fucking terrible. But it still beats a place full of fucking bitter remoaners crying into their soy lattes about wanting the Krauts and Frogs back in charge. Cunts.

    • Especially on D day, when we dealt a decisive blow to secure not being run by the fucking Germans at the cost of a lot of good mens lives.

      • The EU is in no way comparable to Nazi Germany. Fuck off with that crap.

    • I still go the pub at weekends.
      Not wetherspoons like,
      But that said,
      I’ve nowt against them.

      Affordable beer, often good stuff on draught,
      The foods been good when I’ve had it.

      Admittedly it’s a bit soulless,
      But on a works night out or whatever it’s okay.

      As for that Tim character,
      Odd looking fucker isn’t he?

      Get yer fuckin hair cut yer jessy

      • Even at the best of times it’s hard to take a cunt who sounds as thick as Tim Martin seriously.

        He needs to spend some of his £millions on elocution lessons. Sounds almost as dumb as that clueless ex Labour Party Chairman cunt, Ian Lavery.

        I’ve done a bit of research and have found that every cunt with the surname Martin is a cunt.

        All apart from pikey killer Tony Martin. He’s a top bloke.

        Tony is the exception that proves the rule. Whatever the fuck that means.

      • Aaaaaarrrgghhhh! No.

        Exceptions DO NOT test rules.

        The quotation is from the Latin.

        “Exceptio probat legem”

        Translation:

        The exception TESTS the law.

        That idea makes far more sense when you think about it …

        (Same root as probation etc.)

        This has been a Public Service Announcement by the Office of Cunting Specificity.

  2. I like Spoons.

    Reliable, cheap, decent selection of drink, has revived a big old derelict building in town and has generally helped regenerate that whole area.

  3. what’s a pub? they’ve gone from being on every street corner to virtual oblivion in 30 years…tbf some spoons are of reasonable decor with less knobheads and feral kids and at least they keep the price down to a reasonable level……pint of good english ale @ £2.60 or a pint of foreign(brewed in the uk) lager at £6/7 in some hipster bar…..enjoy spoons or any local whilst you can, they will be extinct sooner than you realise as another british heritage gets consigned to the dustbin….fuck it think i’ll go on the raz when the mrs gets home…cheers

  4. All I can say is that if these public houses are as proletarian as the OP suggests, relax – you will be able to drink in peace knowing that Kweer and his bunch of shadow cabinet buggers won’t mince in demanding iced pansy water.

  5. Don’t go in pubs much, full of cunts, cunts + alcohol = bigger cunts.

    Typical of the English we look down our noses at success. The people drinking in spoons are typical Brits, live em or hate them they represent the culture we all bemoan the passing of.

  6. I have been in a few spoons and they were not bad, there is one in a well known Kent town that was really nice when it first opened but sadly it has gone down hill.

    There are EU elections, today I think, so we will see how liberal the voters are after several years of being invaded by filth, I suspect there could a right wing swing.

    Can’t blame Martin or Brexit, if you allow society to go down the pan and import filth it takes everything with it including spoons.

    • I stopped going to the pub a ,ong time ago but I noticed the other day that our ‘local’ (1.5 miles away), which used to have decent pub grub now serves indian cuisine. Should have expected it really.

  7. There used to be old fashioned pubs hidden away back in the day, where you could take an ugly dirty tart without your friends finding out. From what you’re telling me now, it appears you can take them out during the hours of daylight unashamed. Its a pity I’ve given the demon drink.

    • You don’t have to be shit faced to take out a dirty, ugly tart, you just need to put more effort into it. I know.

  8. No musak, no stinking people with dogs, cheapest beer, basic cheap food, plenty of space.

    Better than these over hyped/ priced gastro pub’s..🍺

  9. I love Spoons, cheap, you could get a Baltika 7 at more or less supermarket prices (maybe not now as it is Russian). His pro Brexit propaganda pre-referendum makes sure no remounting cunts are in it and craft beer soy boys, with their assured facial hair and forearm tattoos are appreciated in their absence.

  10. I quite like em.

    Seem to keep some historic buildings in use,otherwise they’d be paki “community” centres or knocked down to make way for some jerry built flats for cunts to live in.

    Plus the “people watching” is on another level.

    Good health!

  11. Even bloke on bloke pubs were hidden away, similar to the first lot from the darker persuasion. Miss those days and can now only reminisce.

    • Back in the late nineties you could get the beer and burger deal for under a fiver, and that was in Guildford.

  12. Nowt wrong with The Spoons. Usually a decent selection of cheap well kept real ale, edible cheap food, no racket from the tv or jukebox and sir Tim’s magazines with anti remoaner articles.
    Usually go to independent boozers if I can, but spoons is always a good standby.

  13. I can’t get on board with this cunting.

    I am not a ‘Spoons’ frequenter, but their beer, coffee and nosh is all affordable for the impoverished pensioner who couldn’t otherwise afford a small mortgage payment for a meal and a beer as a treat. Like a cheapo prostitute, they provide a vital community service.

    Tim Martin and Spoons – not cunts.

    • Good point.
      Yeah, I’ve noticed lots of Pensioners in Wetherspoons.

      Thought at first maybe Glenn Miller was doing a book signing?

      But no, it’s cheap, gets them out the house, bit of company,
      Good on em.

      That and office workers.
      Loads of them too.

      I’ve no problem with Spoons.

  14. In my youth, I remember asking for a beer and saying to the landlord, “that pint looks a bit cloudy” which he replied “what did you expect, thunder and lightning”.

  15. My local recently charged me £7.75 for a pint of Guinness. It was one of those ‘Sorry, how much?’ moments.

    The rob dog also wants £8 for a scotch egg. So he can fuck off from here on out.

    On the other hand, I visit my hometown to see my Dad on Sundays and the same pint of Guinness is £3.19 in spoons.

    £1.49 for a pint of Ruddles on Monday. You just can’t top that, even though some of the troglodites that frequent the place look like they have just been released from the local mental hospital.

      • The point is that for the price of two pints of Guinness in my local, I can have five pints of Guinness in spoons, or ten pints of Ruddles (Guinness is £2.99 on Mondays).

  16. I don’t really go in them these days but i had to in my twenties to enjoy any sort of affordable social life.

    During time off from college me and a mate ended up eating our dinner there every night from Wednesday until Saturday, amongst a few other mates. It became a joke with some of the others as they’d turn up , see us already 4 pints in and crack up, usually asking if we’d actually been home, but my mate lived with his nan during the term and she didn’t cook or keep food in the house, so he practically lived in the ‘Spoons.

    As others (and the article) point out, the lack of music was a nice change from most pubs. They had mudic at their othrr chain ‘Lloyd’s No.1 bar’ and it was R’n’B shite.

    Not sure about drinking from fishbowls.
    They used to serve pitchers.of cocktails and the notorious ‘Wetherbull’ – vodka and Red Bull.

    Lots of fish quims though. Every time one went passed the table in a short skirt, ‘ who ordered scampi’?

  17. Could go out with a couple of bob, get pissed, plus a packet of fags and still have change for a bag of chips on the way home.

  18. Another thing I like about Spoons is that its very existing seems to trigger the right kind of people.

    An old mate (now more an acquaintance) who is of the kum by ya let’s all hold hands and sing Jeremy Corbyn songs persuasion, refuses point blank to go in there because “Tim Martin is an arsehole”

    Obviously prefers to spend his left wing pound in a more expensive establishment which preferably has black or ethnic minorities waiting on. That way he can patronise them on how good they are at their jobs and at how helpful they are.

    Did I say this cunt was an old friend?

    • Plus its full of old white men who say, ‘yer alright, cock?’
      They may have even had blue collar jobs before retiring.
      Left and liberals hate people with blue collar jobs.

  19. I have a love hate relationship with Spoons.

    If I need a quick few pints and a bit of ‘people watching’ it’s just the trick and I don’t come home feeling like I’ve been rinsed.

    However, I’d never take the wife there as I would be called a tight arse for the rest of my life.

    I do think Tim is a cunt though.

    • A mate of mine thought it was funny when a bloke told his date he was ‘pushing the boat out’ by buying her a steak at the ‘spoons..

      Strangely I don’t remember him buying a woman dinner anywhere.

  20. The spoons is alright, no frills but cheap enough and as others have said a worthwhile use of old buildings worth saving, grub’s not too bad either.

    • My local ‘spoons is called the black boy, was always named as such and ol’ Martin refused to change it, despite some pressure.
      Ergo, not a cunt.

      • Not a cunt for refusing to give in to all the woke shit around these days.
        History is history for fuck sake from building names to street names it is what it is and changing these don’t make it go away if that conflicts with you Fuck off!

    • It also gives hard up pensioners somewhere to sit in the warm all day with bottomless coffee refills for £1.49.

      Cheaper than putting the heating on at home.

  21. not much of the real British brewing industry left, all modernised and slimmed down with no thought to the rich heritage of the job. Knew a fellow farrier who did his time on the big horses at Youngs in London when they were making deliveries by day, now as far as I’m aware all gone, big fucking mistake with that fucking pratt Mayor charging for anything automotive . Used to be a forge in the City for Whitbread’s big un’s that’s gone now also I believe. The dray men used to pay local cloggers in beer for putting odd shoes on out on the rounds, my old boss remembers getting paid with a bucket of beer for putting a shoe on at the forge only thing they had was the coal bucket but they didn’t give a fuck back then, scraped the scum off the top and dipped the cup in. Worlds a sadder more sanitised place now populated by pussies.

    • Youngs, now that was a great brewery, went the way of everything that was half decent.
      Taken over by Wells and moved out of Wandsworth.
      Ram Rod was never the same afterwards. 😠

  22. I’d wager a wanky Spoons is an upgrade to the typical ‘sports bar’ over here. Complete with 450 TVs, too loud piped music and groups of loud and obnoxious Yanks competing with the tellys and the music and going “Whoooaaa” and “Yeeeaah right” and “awesome man” every 4 seconds.

    Maybe it’s the chemically infused vaguely alcoholic fizzy water they call beer that makes them behave this way. Cunts.

    • All waiting for something to happen on The Football..

      ‘3rd and down.. Fats Kimbo with the snap.. Kowalski throws out wide… Jay Qwan Kenobi makes the catch.. and runs 5 miles into the end zone. Touch down Oo-rah! We’ll have all the action after these messages’.

  23. Can’t go with this nom.
    Spoons is ok, never had a bad pint as the beer seems to be properly looked after.
    Cheap and the foods ok.
    I think there is an element of snobery in some of the comments.
    If you don’t like ‘Spoons you have the choice of other pub chains, Green King and Punch Taverns spring to mind, and you can expect London prices in those.

  24. Pubs, alcohol, football and gambling are for thick , sheep cunts .

    George Orwell said that . (Well I’m mildly paraphrasing but not by much)

    True as well

  25. The one in Penzance is easy to find. Just look for all the disability (i.e benefits cheats) scooters parked outside in a haze of secondhand smoke
    I was challenged by the doorman on entering the premises because I didn’t have facial piercings and wasn’t using a grubby elbow crutch.

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