Babies and Toddlers on Aeroplanes

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I would like to cunt babies and toddlers on aeroplanes.

What fucks me off isn’t the mites themselves, or their crying (albeit it is extremely annoying) but the fact that parents repeatedly insist on taking their little sods on flights in the first place.

I don’t care if you want to go to Gran Fucking Canaria, a plane is in no way, shape or form a suitable environment for such a small child. They have fuck all stimulation and, unlike the rest of us, aren’t able to rationalise the inevitable ear popping during take-off or landing, or take steps to prevent it.

Of course they’re going to fucking cry. I love travelling and have plans to go a fair few more places yet before I settle down, but when I DO settle down I will be giving that up until the child is old enough to comprehend what the cabin environment is like and how to cope with it. Failure to do so on the part of those who are already parents is unfair not only to the child themselves, but their fellow passengers as well.

Nominated by: OpinionatedCunt

With supporting link from Liberal Liquidator

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126 thoughts on “Babies and Toddlers on Aeroplanes”

  1. This is clearly propaganda for Ryanair.

    This Michael Palin attitude will get you into trouble.
    I Hate travel .

    Alan Whicker suffered from this and he wouldn’t listen either,
    Got eaten by cannibals in the end.

    Settle down?

    I didn’t realise that you were in your early 20s LL?

    You don’t wear skinny jeans and ride a e-scooter do you/?

  2. Aaaah just realised LL is only guilty of the link.
    It’s Opey trying to get LL into trouble.

    Opey, you should stop wandering about in foreign places, you’ll catch Beriberi.

    That nice General Cuntster has agreed to host you in that America for a few weeks.
    You can see the sights and experience the rich unique culture of Florida.

    It’s tropical, so get a Hawaiian shirt.
    Feed the alligators.

    I can just picture you both smiling happily in Disney world!
    Both wearing Mickey Mouse ears
    Sharing a milkshake with two straws.

    You could settle down with a Florida girl?
    Most of em are fat but not all.

    • A bit off topic…but I’d be happy to host LL if he ever came to the states. In fact there are a number of cunters I’d happily host.

      Sadly, there are some cunters I’d rather not host.

      For the record I don’t live in Florida.

      • Hello General.
        You bloody fibber.

        Opey would be found floating in the Everglades half chewed by alligators and a gunshot wound to his nut.

        Thought you lived in Florida?

        You’d be lucky to have me visit 😜
        Your neighbours would think I’m that Hugh Grant.

      • Oh LL!
        Naw he wouldn’t want to stay at yours.
        He thinks your a arse bandit.😂😂

      • If I ever visit the UK I don’t have to worry about anyone putting me up.

        I live rent free inside the heads of so many I could travel from Plymouth to Inverness and back down to Dover and never even see the inside of a hotel.

        Of course the accommodations are…how should I say it…rather Spartan.

      • If you’re going to host in that Florida doss house again you can definitely count me out.

      • Don’t worry Minge, I never even considered you.

        But there is a lovely bridge nearby that nobody lives under. And we have area wide Wi-Fi so you can still troll me at will.

        You’d be right at home.

      • OC,

        It’s interesting that you’re sure you remember that I live in Arizona. Because I do not now nor have I ever lived in Arizona.

      • I could of sworn you said Florida?
        If not I don’t know where I got that from?

        Texas?

        East Texas.
        You ever read any books by a author from East Texas called Joe Lansdale?
        He’s good 👍
        Writes westerns/horror/pulp fiction.

    • Welcome back to Wheel of Trolls here on the IsaC Network. Our contestants today, Mis, Opie and Minge have all had their turns at baiting and inciting the General and we’re now joined by a new contestant.

      Welcome Shitty it’s your starter for 10. Can you solve the puzzle or would you like to buy a vowel?

      G F ck Y rs lf

      • New Jersey?!

        Thought it was somewhere good like Texas.?

        John Travoltas from New Jersey.
        And he’s a right puff.

        Although so is Jerry Lewis and he’s ace 👍

        Baiting you?
        Not really General.
        More good natured banter.

        Be a bit weird if I was differential and overly friendly now wouldn’t it?
        Only Cunter I’m polite to is Jack the Cunter.

      • Fair enough you ole’ sheep shagger!

        Have you recovered from the great Holland’s Price Gouge?

        25p! It’s a fucking outrage! I wouldn’t pay it!

        There hasn’t been an outrage of this magnitude since the bleedin’ Watney’s Red Barrel scandal of the 70s!

        Your country is finished.

      • Just about.😁

        Doubt you could get Holland’s meat & potato pies in the states,
        But they’re a taste of heaven.

        Normally served in British chip shops,
        Perfect if you’ve been working hard, soaking wet, and hungry.

        Small pleasures General
        Small pleasures..

      • No, small pleasures are all a man needs.
        Don’t need all the flash stuff.

        Sportscars
        Flash watches
        All that bollocks.

        Small pleasures make life worth living.

      • Nobody was trolling you.
        I was being cordial.

        Fair enough I’ll leave you be.

      • Mis,

        I don’t believe you were just having a little jest. You and many others constantly throw shots at me…especially when you think I’m not looking

        The other day in a thread I wasn’t participating in you had a conversation with another Troll and called me a name and joked about how I don’t do myself any favors.

        It’s always the same cunts starting shit and piling on. You brought me into this thread and I wasn’t even contributing so don’t play the innocent victim.

      • ….and you think your doing yourself a favour now?

        Believe whatever you want.
        I’m not really arsed.

      • Dude, you’ve suddenly started the ‘trolls’ stuff out of nowhere when no one here was trying to bait you on this occasion. As far as I’m concerned all that’s done with. This is what Mis means when he says you bring it on yourself – you act paranoid and start banding accusations about willy nilly then work yourself up into a foaming rage when you receive pushback for it. I think you’d actually benefit from some kind of psychological help – your behaviour on here isn’t healthy.

      • OC,

        I don’t want to fight with you or anyone else.

        And as a former(?) member of the Admin Team you should know better.

        Look at the remarks by the formerly banned Shitcake and of course Minge and tell me that’s not Trolling…or baiting…or trying to incite…or poking fun…or twisting my words around and making non factual or bogus accusations just to start some shit.

        Half of the fucking nominations on IsaC have a snarky fucking reference to me even when I’m not involved. And it isn’t harmless joking around.

        The reason you and others say I’m not doing myself any favors is because you don’t like it when I fight back.

        Guess what? If you don’t throw shots at me I won’t have to answer back.

        To quote a famous American politician:

        Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.

      • The reason WHY you have to fight back though GC is because you act confrontationally with other people. I don’t want to fight with you either, but I do think you’ve got to chill out a bit and stop seeing everything as a personal attack. People do rib each other on here and that’s OK.

      • The Martyr of New Jersey

        What a cross you have to bear!

        Everyone being cordial to you must be simply awful ?

        Don’t worry I won’t be cordial again…

      • You never were cordial to begin with, you Miserable Northern Hypocrite.

        And I’m not from New Jersey stupid. And I never have been.

        You’re fucking clueless.

      • Whatever Fuckin place your from.
        Queensville idaho
        Mardarse Kentucky
        Buttfuck Louisiana

        I don’t give a fuck where your from you fuckin Muppet.

        That cordial enough for you?

      • In the Generals defence, he has just been referenced in a nomination by JP (he he, naughty!)

        This thread has got some legs on it, 12+ hours!

        I thought the verbal dueling from Fiddler and Cap’t Mags were all dayer epics.

      • Uh yeah…I’m so vocal in my support of the carpet kissing, goat shagging religion of peace that it stands to reason I would be pro Hamas.

        And given my commitment to destroying Western Civilization and in particular the mother country of the Anglosphere, it only stands to reason that I would tell a British Judge to go screw.

        Make Islam Great Again

        MIGA

      • Irony is when someone says; “I don’t give a fuck where YOUR from…” and then calls you a muppet.

      • I never understood you specific brand of stupid Mis. But I do admire your unwavering commitment to it.

      • It’s limitless what you don’t understand General.

        You could of ended all this bickering months ago but your paranoia sees a slight even when ones not there .

        You enjoy it.

      • Yeah right.

        I start shit on here all the time.

        Face it…you’ve never been able to deal with the fact that the flower of English manhood turned out to be a pansy.

        You blame me because he ran away faster than a little girl seeing a spider.

        And you can’t let it go.

      • Fiddler was the undisputed best Cunter on this site.

        He left in disgust over admin pandering to your hysterics and installing a grass button for you.

        If you think there’s anything to brag about in that your truly wretched.

        You’ll never measure up.
        And you’ll never be accepted.

        Your lacking boy.

      • Goddamn you’re stupid!

        “Your lacking”

        What a fucking moron.

        As for Fiddler…he’s still out in the garden eating worms and YOU’RE STILL obsessed with him as your hero.

        To paraphrase that song from the Life of Brian:

        “Bravely ran Dick Fiddler. He bravely ran away…”

        You know, it’s tough enough to win an argument with an intelligent person but it’s absolutely impossible to win one with an idiot like you.

      • Yeah.
        You do seem to have a habit of losing..

        I DID like Fiddler and the sites a shade of what it was without him.

        It’s my curse- Loyalty.
        You wouldn’t understand.

      • I understand you misplaced notions of “loyalty.”

        You stood by the Fake Admin when he hacked my account…changed my posts…made fictitious posts in my name and sent me threats.

        You were loyal to him.

        Your notion of loyalty is like the fucking Mafia or the fucking inner city drug gangs. Lie, cheat, steal even murder but the worse crime of all is snitching…or grassing as you say.

        Don’t dare say anything to the authorities…my fucking gang won’t be able to lie, cheat, steal or murder anymore and YOUR (sic) the fucking bad guy.

        Feckless fucking cunt.

      • GC, both myself and Mis have offered olive branches but you’re the one who’s kept the argument going. Grow up.

        PS: Admin – surely NOW it’s time to hit the ban hammer on the General? He’s already been accommodated enough and allowed to get away with a lot more than many other cunters.

      • Also, “I understand ‘you’ misplaced notions of “loyalty” and “‘YOUR’ (sic) the fucking bad guy.” If you’re going to be a grammar Nazi at least make sure yours is correct ffs.

      • I wonder if publicly calling for the Admin Team to ban me will earn you cries of Mr. Gimsdale.

        I seriously doubt it.

        An olive branch must be extended with sincerity and not followed up with snarky remarks if it is to be taken seriously.

        Involving yourself in a thread I considered bait…especially stating you remembered I said I was from Arizona didn’t sit well with me.

        The reason is many things have been said about me that are not true. Then they are repeated as truth and used later as an attack.

        You cannot remember something I never said so yes…I was wary.

        My apologies to the IsaC Faithful for going off. I know there are those of you who find it amusing but it’s disruptive even if I feel it was justified.

        As for the Admin Team…I don’t want to be banned. But I don’t want to be constantly Trolled, baited, referenced in a derogatory way or made fun of by those who think this site sucks because Fiddler has left and they blame me.

        Even one of your own…Opinionated Cunt followed me around and Trolled me mercilessly. (And yes I knew back then he was a member of the team because shortly after he became a member of the Team, he made a post all but saying so.) Given that and a lack of action I felt I had no choice but to fight back.

        So if I seem to you to be overly sensitive, try to see it from my point of view. A harmless remark by me results in what appears to be sanctioned Trolling and piling on by the usual suspects.

        As I said I don’t want to be banned. But if you feel like you have to ban me then so be it.

        The business of Cunting cunts will go on with or without me. (As it has since the departure of the Northumberland Troll.)

        If this is to be my last post I leave the IsaC Faithful and the IsaC Ladies Auxiliary with this thought:

        I think therefore I cunt.

        Cogito ergo cunt?

        PS Regarding this whole farce; A wise man once said to me:

        If I was wrong don’t be surprised. I’ve been wrong before and I’ll be wrong again.

      • Hello again OC,

        The use of you instead of yours was a typo. Yep, it was a mistake.

        Capitalizing YOUR and then inserting (sic) was a reference and indeed a dig at Mis who constantly uses it because he doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re.

      • I know the difference between me and you.

        I don’t get hysterical.

      • GC, I’m not going to keep insulting you. It would be churlish and in any case life’s too short to harbour that sort of negativity. But after the way you’ve behaved in recent weeks, I sure as fuck don’t respect you. You need to know that.

  4. Kids should be put in kennels or care or something,
    A airplane is no place for children.

    Same goes for pubs.

    Stay out you little bastards

    • Morning, MNC. Agree about pubs. If see a kid or a pushchair I won’t go in. They will most likely sell shite beer anyway. Cunts.

      • Morning 20👍

        Very wise.
        I’m.the same if I see a ethnic in a establishment.

    • In the eighties and nineties, the indide of the pub was forbidden to children. They were restricted to the beer garden. If they needed the toilet, parents would take them.
      Get too near the bar area and you got shouted at.
      The ‘gastropub’ changed all of that, although the food you used to get was arguably better than the shit most of these new food-centric pubs serve.
      No bastard butternut squash or avocado served with Rocket/Arugula.
      You may as well serve up a bar of Imperial Leather rolled in a dock leaf

  5. This is precisely why I prefer to travel by sea rather than by air. If the little cunt was behaving like that on a ship at least you could throw it and its mother overboard.

    • But if you were on a Boeing Geordie, you could throw them out of one of the holes in the fuselage.

  6. How dare you…. you should be in awe of the little treasures..

    See the look of admiration on the stupid parents faces as their kid throws a wobbler..

    Bide your time and accidentally hit the brat with your suitcase at baggage claim..

  7. Mrs Terry and I made the decision not take our kids on a plane til they were at least 5.

    It’s always important never to underestimate the idiocy of fellow travellers..

    All sat down,comfy?

    Little Jemima wants her samsung tablet that in the bottom of the hand luggage that’s been wedged with force into an overhead locker and she won’t shut up til she gets it..

    And so on til the flight lands.

    Boarding a plane should come with complimentary Bedlam grade valium.

    Good morning.

  8. If you have ever been unfortunate enough to fly into Alicante on a stag/hen night plane, you will know that most adults should not be allowed on planes either.

    ¡Gentuza de la mierda!

    Fucking scum.

    Probably shop at Lidl.

    • So true Artful.

      When our friends lived near there, we were rgulars on what my Scottish lady wife always referred to as the ‘Jimmy Bus’.

      The behaviour of some hen and stag do’s left, shall we say, something to be desired. It was as though they felt duty bound to make life as uncomfortable for passengers and crew as they could.

      • Alicante is a beautiful city OC.

        However, the airport is the closest there is to the shit hole Benidorm.

        When waiting for arrivals you will see all sorts of scum.
        Some of the guys think that it’s acceptable to strip down to just a pair of shorts and flip flops in the arrival hall before drunkenly staggering to their coaches for the rest of the journey.
        And that can be at any time of the year.

        If they haven’t pre booked a coach for the 30 minute journey then it’s difficult for them to get a taxi.
        The drivers do not want to clean vomit out of their cars.

        It’s that bad.

        Thankfully, tomorrow I just need to drive past Benidorm on my way to see a customer.
        I will not be stopping there.

      • I thought the Spanish police had clamped down on the drunken fuckwittery of the lads abroad?

        I thoroughly enjoyed a video of that dozy cheekweasel ‘Dappy’ and his dickhead mates take a hiding off of the Spanish plod recently.

        Had to watch it at least 20 times before the charm wore off.

  9. My youngest will be 4 in September, only then shall we go on a plane. My solution has always been to put any family with a toddler or baby in the same cabin. Then they can all suffer. Any vacant seats in the cabin must be then paid for by these families.

    • I find the unrepentantly flatulent fat cunt that has recently consumed a meal of Haggis, cabbage and stout the worst. Oh dear, that’s me. Well at least now the kids have a reason to wail and moan. They’re parents can choke as well.

  11. That child in the link clip – “Behavioural problems”. Euthanise the little cunt.

  12. I use ‘Bona Travel’ for all my flights. They will fit you in anytime, anyplace.

    Good Morning, everyone.

    • Make me laugh as well,imagine if the plane ditched mid Atlantic and you survived bobbing around with your life jacket on and wanting to attract attention I know ill blow my plastic whistle,must be a hell of a whistle to be heard 500 miles away, Must think we are right cunts to believe that……the cunts

      • It’s academic anyway Mr R Sole. If you were on a jet which went down in the pond your chance of survival would be about the same as your chance of winning the lottery.

        My father worked with a man whose name was Ronald Sole. Absolutely true, the name was on his driving licence.

    • I wish they’d just be more honest about it.

      “if you hear the words ‘brace! brace!’ bend forward, stick your head between your knees, and kiss your ass goodbye!”

      • and what effect do you think that would have Ron?

        From travelling at 500mph to an abrupt stop with you head between your knees?

        Instant broken neck. No need for the airline to pay out for life changing injuries when it’s much cheaper to pay a one off settlement in a group action lawsuit.

    • Flight to Manchester 15 years ago.. not even a quarter full. Male steward (suspected whoopsie, but a lot of them are) .. asked if I’d relocate to a centre emergency door and specifically asked “in the case of emergency do you think you would keep calm & work the door?”

      Mulled it over for a second – my time in the parachute club came to mind, and I thought yeah – in fact no-one better on that plane that day really, if there’s some kind of drama. So I told the cunt yeah and moved to wing exit right. Two minutes later the guy was moving 2 passengers to wing exit left. Neither woman under the age of 70 who must have agreed ‘yes’ to a question they didn’t even comprehend.

      The box-ticking stupid cunt.

  14. Six months after giving birth to her daughter, my sister in law announced that she desperately needed a holiday.
    She was entitled, so she said, and nothing, not even a babe in arms was going to stop her.
    So with husband and child she hopped on a flight to Spain.
    Myself and lady Cuntgomery went along too.
    Baby was crying, kicking and screaming all the way there, then they found the heat was too much fir little one when they got there and their air conditioning was on the blink.
    Could hardly go out in the day. Couldn’t enjoy a meal and a drink in the evening and in bed by 10 ready for another sleepless night.
    And all because the selfish cow thought it was her right to have a holiday abroad as a strong, independent wimminz.
    We had our own apartment, decided to do our own thing mostly, and had a great time.
    We learned a valuable lesson over that fortnight, and vowed never to put our own kids, when we had them, or ourselves and other people through the same shit.

  16. I once flew to Houston with a screaming brat on board. Got to immigration, there sat the very large fiercesome inquisitor, Papers! The fucking brat was in the next line kicked off again, she stared at it.
    ” I have had to listen to that from London”, she looked at me and
    stamped the forms and ” HAVE A GOOD VACTION”.
    Fucking cunts should be tito the wings.

  17. Watch with dread at boarding time.. which seats near me will have the little shits sitting/standing on them.
    Why can’t they group them all at the back?
    The attitude of the parents is the worse. Little shit kicking the back of your seat and you dare to complain? The parent, often wisely seated away from the brat screams ‘they’re only children’. Oven.

  18. Given the choice of cunts who are too tight to put their bags in the hold, pissheads, smelly twats, wankers who whine about someone reclining a reclining seat and fat cunts, I would quite happily fly anywhere with screaming kids.

  19. They should put Kids, Pissed people, fat cunts, and cunts that stink, in their own section

  20. I’ve never flown, but feel like I have after watching the clips on utube for fun. Correct me if I’m wrong, but why don’t they have family flights only ? Having been on all other forms of transport, I come prepared with the best earplugs money can buy and a mask for the eyes.

  21. Shove the brats into the overhead rack and listen to the shrieks subside into suffocation.
    Straight outta the gene pool.

    • I was returning from abroad and the last leg of my journey was a flight from London to Manchester. I was taken to the back of the plane by the stewardess where there were five seats together, four of them occupied by a smiling young woman and three little kids who were all screaming their fucking heads off. The young woman indicated that the seat in the corner next to the window was mine. I said “It doesn’t have to be”. I went to the stewardess and said “I don’t want to be funny, but I’d appreciate it if you can find me somewhere else to sit”. And she did. No way in the world was I going to sit with those fucking kids. I’d have got off the plane first.

  22. Reminds me of Airplane when they’re lining up with baseball bats and wrenches to that hysterical woman. And that Jap who commits Hari Kari whilst listening to a boring bastard next to him.
    I always seem to get the seat behind the twat who puts his seat into recline whilst we’re still at the boarding gate and the arsehole next to me who takes off his shoes.

  23. I have found that travelling business class greatly reduces the chance of being sat next to some screeching brat for several hours.

    I have not once seen a small child in business class as the cunty parents who can afford it, seem to also enjoy the civilised silence and shove the brat in economy along with the nanny.

  24. Should be illegal.
    I’m not paying a mint to have my auditory senses assaulted by some over indulged brat whose parents are incapable of raising a venetian blind never mind a child.

    Fuk off you annoying little turds and go and open the window in the toilet and do us all a favour as you do your finest goldfinger impression.

  25. How the fuck can someone barely two feet fucking tall make so much NOISE 🤬🤬

    • Lungs on legs.

      But on all occasions it’s got to be the parents fault. If brought up properly it could be better. Chastisement should still be allowed in certain circumstances when having to be grouped together the public spaces for hours on end.

    • Lungs on legs.

      But on all occasions it’s got to be the parents fault. If brought up properly it could be better. Chastisement should still be allowed in certain circumstances when having to be grouped together in public spaces for hours on end.

      Sorry, had to correct something at the end.

  26. The little satanic noisy little turds should also be banned from pubs, supermarkets, cafes and shops.

    Come to think of it, a cunting is due for modern kid and dog friendly cafes.

  28. I absolutely 100% blame the parents. I make at least one short-haul flight per month and thankfully due to expensive noise cancelling head phones I don’t get too disturbed. Sadly they won’t help when the sawn off little cunts start kicking the back of the seat! Kids=cunts. Parents=cunts with kids!

  29. I’ve not flown anywhere since Concorde was grounded. Used to travel on it back and forth regularly, Heathrow to JFK.

    Dinner with Trump at McDonald’s, then back home to England in time for tea and Mission Impossible.

    Can’t be bothered nowadays – certainly in no hurry to do so after reading cunters comments herein.

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