Sorry, I really can’t resist.
For the love of whatever God you worship, why on earth would a previously classy company think that this was a good idea?
Whatever marketing genius came up with this one?
” Well, we’ve done padded bras for years, and they all sell well and are popular, what about padded knickers, to make the arse look bigger?”
Fucking brilliant!
I’m sure you have all heard the old joke about the bloke who goes home with a smashing looking bird. Gets into the bedroom.
First, she takes off her make-up, revealing a skin like old porridge, grey and lumpy.
Next her bra, absolutely no tits.
Finally, she takes out her teeth, grins at him and says “what are you waiting for?”
He says, ” You know, throw it over”
Nominated by: Jeezum Priest
Imagine the disappointment peeling away the underwear of a woman wearing this. You anticipate a nice pair of rounded plump buttocks but are instead presented with something resembling the bony ass of a horse destined for the knackers yard.
Surely there’s a law against that? If not there should be – the Deceptive Buttocks Act.
M&S should be ashamed of themselves.
26
False advertising perhaps MMCM?
6
Yes – that should cover it Harold.
4
Do m&s do padded bellies as well?
That may be why I’m seeing land whales everywhere..
They all look like Kate moss when they get home.
23
Are you a resident of Worthing, zportsmouth or Southampton?
Hungry hungry hippos!
7
Sorry Jeezum, I don’t understand the joke punchline☹️ Good Morning Gents🤗
22
Think the punch line was, the man decides to leave by the stairs, after the woman removes every conceivable thing that’s false, she shouts “don’t you want it then”. He replies, “chuck it down then”.
7
Oh. Ha Ha🫤
4
What? No sheboon in the ad? Absolutely disgraceful.
16
Never seen one who needs it.
Seen some who you could stand a pint pot on though.
10
Good bike racks too, no way anyone would steal a bike with a front tyre stinking of sooty crack
2
What I look for in a woman is massive comedy eyebrows, a healthy orange looking skin tone,
Lips like a anaphylactic Mick Jagger and huge inflatable arse.
Classy.
38
You must mean Katy Price.
18
Hear hear Mis.
Add in the tattoos and multiple body piercings and you have my perfect woman.
17
And don’t forget the puffy, pierced minge.
Classy!
15
Add the laminated shiny look of forehead and cheeks injected with industrial chemicals.
15
Shaved Fanny like a VW bonnet
5
Nothing wrong with that!
2
It’s probably to pander to the Dark Keys who now they have a bit more benefit money indulge themselves at Marks & Sparks.
Personally, I have never rated that company – overpriced and over-rated, clothing that looks like the frumpy end of the Oxfam shop. Aldi food at Waitrose prices, and the whole management is as tight as a spinsters corsets.
The rot sat in when they had that pompous old faggot Stuart Rose running it, and it never recovered. Still living in 1960. Rose was the Charles Pooter of retail.
13
Or is Waitrose Aldi food at M&S prices?
12
Oi……
7
The women I see daily need expansion joints on their pants, not padding.
14
I like Marks & Sparks.
I go in to cheer myself up, because when I look at all the other people in there I feel really young at the age of 68.
I never buy anything, obviously.
16
You should try Waitrose Geordie, you would be their youth policy.
Good Morning.
5
Thanks for the tip Wanksock, I might just try that.
3
Tried to shop at Waitrose once in Stamford, failed the entrance exam, apparently someone in the carpark didn’t hear me say “Ya, oh ya.” and grassed me up..cunt
3
In this modern age of equality and wimmin rights etc isn’t it amusing that make up,cosmetic surgery,augmented knickers,revealing clothing etc etc are never out of fashion as the ladies clamour to make themselves attractive to men.
Hoe old fashioned.
Luckily Stormer will ban the lot as oppressive patriarchy next year.
Shortly followed by M&S introducing the padded burka.
The Cunts.
Good morning.
19
John Lewis had a family of mannequins at the entrance to the store yesterday. Dressed in Easter Bonnets etc? No. Dressed as mudslimes. I was tempted to add a Kalashnikov but thought of the hate crime I’d be banged up for.
14
Duh, it was only bin day and the bags were out the front.
3
This thing for big fat arses is down to that Kim Kardashian.
The Kardashians are a bunch of freaky fuckers.
The dad’s a tranny, they all look a bit paki,
And fond of black nudger.
Probably including dad.
That Kim is famous for being married to puddled black pygmy Kanye West..
4ft, black, mental, Kim’s taste leaves a lot to be desired.
I wouldn’t want to be anything like that filthy cunt if I was a woman.
12
This has given me a idea.
I’m a avid subscriber to the ” builders bum’ look.
I have my arse on display often.
A traditional look for working class blokes.
I wonder if I could market it to gullible unimaginative cunts and make a few quid?
Only problem is there’s no sooties elderly tranny’s or midgets in my family for the reality TV show.
12
Size of my sweaty crack I was having a scratch and discovered Warwick Davis lurking about up there. Pretty sure he’ll make a reality show about it.
2
The “shelf arse” is for putting your cuppa whilst taking them from behind.
7
how’d you drink tea in a hazmat suit?
1
Bellends
5
These things are all very well and good for a lass with an arse like an ironing board but that’s not who they’re marketed to.
They’re aimed at this new breed of young Instagram and Tiktok bimbos who insist on walking around wearing real life Snapchat filters – pencil thin nose, bottox lips, Trumpian skin complexion, scouse brow and now ….. an arse like Shaniqua, which they will still insist on sticking out to encourage the men around them to think “Oh look, somewhere to rest my pint”.
10
Actually, I suspect they might also be aimed at ‘men who dress as women’, be they transvestites or transexuals. Some look so horribly unconvincing with their Adam’s Apple, no hips, long hands, and grey stubble that this might help them in their pretence.
7
Blimey, what a grim thought
5
Good point which I hadn’t considered. Most men do have arses like ironing boards…… the white ones at least.
2
lady? Colin…wide necklace, hands like shovels
1
Its the case of here’s my tits, the arse will follow, kind of thing these days.
5
M&S have been a Cunt company for years.
Cuntishness includes: marketing a line of George Floyd/BLM inspired underwear. Renaming their ‘Midget Gems’ in case they offend midgets. Cancelling a Christmas ad to appease loony Palestinian supporters. Selling LGBT sandwiches…
https://www.marksandspencer.com/ie/c/food/not-just-any-food/food-news/pride-sandwich
🤮🙄
10
Fist sandwich.
Fisting sandwich.
(I just woke up)
6
This isn’t just a poofter puff pastry pasty – this is an M & S poofter puff pastry patsy – get a meal deal, with a bottle of iced pansy water – just £9.99
4
Disgusting. I`m going to complain vigorously. I`m vegan.
4
Didn’t M&S placate a Muzslime a few years back who, despite her job of stacking the shelves, couldn’t touch alcohol (meaning the glass bottle). M&S couldn’t fall over themselves quickly enough.
3
Poor cow, shift her to the bacon counter
3
Surely ladies it would be more beneficial to stick two M&S steak pie’s down your behind..
If you pull you have a after sex snack for you and your partner..
If you strike out, console yourself with a hearty pie, plus eat enough of them and your arse might grow.
Happy gesture weekend everybody..
11
And Happy Ramadan to you Barry.
You converted yet?
13
I will later on geordie, from beer to gin..
Don’t you mean happy weight watchers month?
10
Great idea. The pies will nicely heated. Bonus.
3
Got the grandkids their Ramadam Eggs yet? only 24 hours shopping days left.
1
M&S prices are already padded enough….wait for Primark to bring out a version, they are more for the younger end who’ll probably fall for this 💩…..then watch the arse influencers on tiktok 😏…..lush
5
Sizes are smaller in Primark apparently but they do a nice line in George Floyd knickers, really tight, I’m told you can’t breath in them.
2
Forgive me for going off-topic, but I am VERY worried. Has anybody seen Margaret Beckett and Eddie Izzard lately, since all the election talk started?:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ZzKoiGceoCc
8
That’s fragrant angie, proving she lived at that house all those years..
7
Probably doing a marathon run in Gaza …fuckin attention seeker
0
Those good with colours may appreciate this sort of thing especially when gravity takes its toll on the position of the arse cheeks.
3
When I used to live in Hackney, the Narrow Ways Mark’s and Spencer clothing section ended with rows of bra’s looking like parked cars headlights. Most disconcerting whilst looking for something to eat only inches away.
5
Beautiful……because you’re worth it !
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/worlds-worst-eyebrows-been-revealed-7553665
3
Holy fucking shit!
2
😲😲
1
eye raising
0
Been going on for decades, i saw a pie key once at a carboot,
what you starring at? it said.
I explained i was trying to read the poem/letter tattooed all over her forehead.
It’s personal. It spat back.
Then you should have had it tattooed back to front so only you can read it in a mirror says I.
Fuck off. It growled.
2
I must be so last year, pert little tits and a tight little arse… perfect
8
Seconded! 👍
3
I love the pocket size for all occasions.
3
Not so keen on black women then? 85GG knockers and an arse that takes up the whole back seat of a bus?
2
…and produces turds a cow would be proud of
4
Anything bigger than a pat with your hand is a waste, don’t be greedy.
0
I am beginning to suspect that JP is really the reincarnation of Benny Hill. Helping large, matronly ladies up onto buses and getting a face full. Good clean fun enjoyed by millions for two and a half decades.
Good morning, everyone.
8
Wondered where Vorderfreak got her arse from….
5
Same place she got her tits,wherever that is.
Speaking of plastic arses…
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a37566779/twitter-madonna-butt-2021-vmas/
4
I came home the other day and there was this invoice on my desk for £3,500 from the St Shelley’s Personal Enhancement Clinic.
I said to the missus, “what’s this all about?”
She said, “it’s for me, I’ve decided I want to get bigger boobs.”
I said, “don’t be ridiculous, I don’t need to spend all this money to get you bigger boobs! All that you need to do is take a bit of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs every day, and soon enough you’ll have massive tits.”
She said, “are you sure?”
I said, “of course I’m sure, look what it’s done for your fucking arse!”
23
😂😂😂😂😂
8
Seconded
8
It’s funny isn’t it?
How often have you heard some woman gobbing off with the line ‘all men are liars’?
Morning all.
6
Talking of unmentionables, a pair of Hitler`s missus`s undercrackers was bought by a private collector (of what?!) a few years back …
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-37897103
Could at least have had a swastika on the gusset.
6
Also in the same auction:
Moustache trimmer
Set of paint brushes
Hitler’s billiard table (one ball missing)
6
Could have just pinched a pair ot two off a washing line.
£3k’s a lot to pay for a sniff.
4
Washing line kind of defeats a sniffers purpose, no?
Laundry basket surely the zenith for any knicker-sniffer worth the name …
0
Fuckit! .. should have gone with knicker-nicker, there…
0
The cunts that buy these can make even BIGGER arses of their selves …….if that is possible.
4
My arse looks big in everything I don’t need to wear padded wimmins pants but it’s taken years to get it like that and I’ve earned it all!
3
And then there’s this bullshit:
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/marks–spencer-apologises-after-22502521
Marks & Spencer has apologised after it was accused of “covert racism” over its bra colours.
Kusi Kimani, 29, from East Sussex, was shocked when she discovered a brown bra on the retailer’s website was called “tobacco”.
Ms Kimani complained about the bra for her skin tone carrying negative connotations, while more positive words were used for lighter colours.
Ms Kimani told Mirror Online: “I saw it about two weeks after George Floyd’s death and it was particularly raw to see at that time.
FFS!
10
That’s the moment to deport the mad bitch.
6
To your oven Unkle
6
Was it made of cotton as well? Maybe that also has connotations and she would prefer it to be made from re-constituted car tyres and mango skins?
Cunt
7
The biggest problem with these situations is not the chancing dark keys that are just jumping on the racial grievance bandwagon, it’s the cunts that capitulate and apologise and grovel to these fuckers.
A better reaction would have been to release a new branch of lingerie entitled “Colston” with a nice hangman’s noose for nipple tassels, a range launched to celebrate our long and glorious history of taking care of our ethnic friends.
3
It should have bought the George Floyd bra, so tight you can’t breath, available in blunt white or raw tobacco
1
Well….don’t ask how I know this, but this company has been making male enhancing pants for years. Extra padding, lifting etc. So nothing surprises me.
https://www.andrewchristian.com/products/show-it-r-retro-pop-ac-boxer?variant=44502554411243
5
I think the M&S draws are for men called Shequilla or Klamidia who prefer to tuck it
1