“Does My Bum Look Big in This?” Marks & Spencer (6)

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Sorry, I really can’t resist.

The Guardian

For the love of whatever God you worship, why on earth would a previously classy company think that this was a good idea?
Whatever marketing genius came up with this one?

” Well, we’ve done padded bras for years, and they all sell well and are popular, what about padded knickers, to make the arse look bigger?”

Fucking brilliant!

I’m sure you have all heard the old joke about the bloke who goes home with a smashing looking bird. Gets into the bedroom.
First, she takes off her make-up, revealing a skin like old porridge, grey and lumpy.
Next her bra, absolutely no tits.
Finally, she takes out her teeth, grins at him and says “what are you waiting for?”

He says, ” You know, throw it over”

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

96 thoughts on ““Does My Bum Look Big in This?” Marks & Spencer (6)”

  1. Imagine the disappointment peeling away the underwear of a woman wearing this. You anticipate a nice pair of rounded plump buttocks but are instead presented with something resembling the bony ass of a horse destined for the knackers yard.

    Surely there’s a law against that? If not there should be – the Deceptive Buttocks Act.

    M&S should be ashamed of themselves.

  2. Do m&s do padded bellies as well?

    That may be why I’m seeing land whales everywhere..
    They all look like Kate moss when they get home.

    • Are you a resident of Worthing, zportsmouth or Southampton?

      Hungry hungry hippos!

    • Think the punch line was, the man decides to leave by the stairs, after the woman removes every conceivable thing that’s false, she shouts “don’t you want it then”. He replies, “chuck it down then”.

    • Never seen one who needs it.

      Seen some who you could stand a pint pot on though.

      • Good bike racks too, no way anyone would steal a bike with a front tyre stinking of sooty crack

  5. What I look for in a woman is massive comedy eyebrows, a healthy orange looking skin tone,
    Lips like a anaphylactic Mick Jagger and huge inflatable arse.

    Classy.

  6. It’s probably to pander to the Dark Keys who now they have a bit more benefit money indulge themselves at Marks & Sparks.

    Personally, I have never rated that company – overpriced and over-rated, clothing that looks like the frumpy end of the Oxfam shop. Aldi food at Waitrose prices, and the whole management is as tight as a spinsters corsets.

    The rot sat in when they had that pompous old faggot Stuart Rose running it, and it never recovered. Still living in 1960. Rose was the Charles Pooter of retail.

  8. I like Marks & Sparks.
    I go in to cheer myself up, because when I look at all the other people in there I feel really young at the age of 68.

    I never buy anything, obviously.

    • Tried to shop at Waitrose once in Stamford, failed the entrance exam, apparently someone in the carpark didn’t hear me say “Ya, oh ya.” and grassed me up..cunt

  9. In this modern age of equality and wimmin rights etc isn’t it amusing that make up,cosmetic surgery,augmented knickers,revealing clothing etc etc are never out of fashion as the ladies clamour to make themselves attractive to men.

    Hoe old fashioned.

    Luckily Stormer will ban the lot as oppressive patriarchy next year.

    Shortly followed by M&S introducing the padded burka.

    The Cunts.

    Good morning.

    • John Lewis had a family of mannequins at the entrance to the store yesterday. Dressed in Easter Bonnets etc? No. Dressed as mudslimes. I was tempted to add a Kalashnikov but thought of the hate crime I’d be banged up for.

  10. This thing for big fat arses is down to that Kim Kardashian.

    The Kardashians are a bunch of freaky fuckers.

    The dad’s a tranny, they all look a bit paki,
    And fond of black nudger.

    Probably including dad.

    That Kim is famous for being married to puddled black pygmy Kanye West..

    4ft, black, mental, Kim’s taste leaves a lot to be desired.

    I wouldn’t want to be anything like that filthy cunt if I was a woman.

    • This has given me a idea.

      I’m a avid subscriber to the ” builders bum’ look.

      I have my arse on display often.
      A traditional look for working class blokes.

      I wonder if I could market it to gullible unimaginative cunts and make a few quid?

      Only problem is there’s no sooties elderly tranny’s or midgets in my family for the reality TV show.

      • Size of my sweaty crack I was having a scratch and discovered Warwick Davis lurking about up there. Pretty sure he’ll make a reality show about it.

    • The “shelf arse” is for putting your cuppa whilst taking them from behind.

  12. These things are all very well and good for a lass with an arse like an ironing board but that’s not who they’re marketed to.

    They’re aimed at this new breed of young Instagram and Tiktok bimbos who insist on walking around wearing real life Snapchat filters – pencil thin nose, bottox lips, Trumpian skin complexion, scouse brow and now ….. an arse like Shaniqua, which they will still insist on sticking out to encourage the men around them to think “Oh look, somewhere to rest my pint”.

    • Actually, I suspect they might also be aimed at ‘men who dress as women’, be they transvestites or transexuals. Some look so horribly unconvincing with their Adam’s Apple, no hips, long hands, and grey stubble that this might help them in their pretence.

  13. Its the case of here’s my tits, the arse will follow, kind of thing these days.

      • This isn’t just a poofter puff pastry pasty – this is an M & S poofter puff pastry patsy – get a meal deal, with a bottle of iced pansy water – just £9.99

    • Didn’t M&S placate a Muzslime a few years back who, despite her job of stacking the shelves, couldn’t touch alcohol (meaning the glass bottle). M&S couldn’t fall over themselves quickly enough.

  15. Surely ladies it would be more beneficial to stick two M&S steak pie’s down your behind..

    If you pull you have a after sex snack for you and your partner..

    If you strike out, console yourself with a hearty pie, plus eat enough of them and your arse might grow.

    Happy gesture weekend everybody..

  16. M&S prices are already padded enough….wait for Primark to bring out a version, they are more for the younger end who’ll probably fall for this 💩…..then watch the arse influencers on tiktok 😏…..lush

    • Sizes are smaller in Primark apparently but they do a nice line in George Floyd knickers, really tight, I’m told you can’t breath in them.

  18. Those good with colours may appreciate this sort of thing especially when gravity takes its toll on the position of the arse cheeks.

  19. When I used to live in Hackney, the Narrow Ways Mark’s and Spencer clothing section ended with rows of bra’s looking like parked cars headlights. Most disconcerting whilst looking for something to eat only inches away.

    • Been going on for decades, i saw a pie key once at a carboot,
      what you starring at? it said.
      I explained i was trying to read the poem/letter tattooed all over her forehead.
      It’s personal. It spat back.
      Then you should have had it tattooed back to front so only you can read it in a mirror says I.
      Fuck off. It growled.

  22. I am beginning to suspect that JP is really the reincarnation of Benny Hill. Helping large, matronly ladies up onto buses and getting a face full. Good clean fun enjoyed by millions for two and a half decades.

    Good morning, everyone.

  24. I came home the other day and there was this invoice on my desk for £3,500 from the St Shelley’s Personal Enhancement Clinic.

    I said to the missus, “what’s this all about?”

    She said, “it’s for me, I’ve decided I want to get bigger boobs.”

    I said, “don’t be ridiculous, I don’t need to spend all this money to get you bigger boobs! All that you need to do is take a bit of toilet paper and rub it between your boobs every day, and soon enough you’ll have massive tits.”

    She said, “are you sure?”

    I said, “of course I’m sure, look what it’s done for your fucking arse!”

  25. It’s funny isn’t it?

    How often have you heard some woman gobbing off with the line ‘all men are liars’?

    Morning all.

    • Also in the same auction:
      Moustache trimmer
      Set of paint brushes
      Hitler’s billiard table (one ball missing)

    • Could have just pinched a pair ot two off a washing line.

      £3k’s a lot to pay for a sniff.

      • Washing line kind of defeats a sniffers purpose, no?

        Laundry basket surely the zenith for any knicker-sniffer worth the name …

  27. The cunts that buy these can make even BIGGER arses of their selves …….if that is possible.

  28. My arse looks big in everything I don’t need to wear padded wimmins pants but it’s taken years to get it like that and I’ve earned it all!

  29. And then there’s this bullshit:

    https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/marks–spencer-apologises-after-22502521

    Marks & Spencer has apologised after it was accused of “covert racism” over its bra colours.

    Kusi Kimani, 29, from East Sussex, was shocked when she discovered a brown bra on the retailer’s website was called “tobacco”.

    Ms Kimani complained about the bra for her skin tone carrying negative connotations, while more positive words were used for lighter colours.

    Ms Kimani told Mirror Online: “I saw it about two weeks after George Floyd’s death and it was particularly raw to see at that time.

    FFS!

    • Was it made of cotton as well? Maybe that also has connotations and she would prefer it to be made from re-constituted car tyres and mango skins?

      Cunt

    • The biggest problem with these situations is not the chancing dark keys that are just jumping on the racial grievance bandwagon, it’s the cunts that capitulate and apologise and grovel to these fuckers.

      A better reaction would have been to release a new branch of lingerie entitled “Colston” with a nice hangman’s noose for nipple tassels, a range launched to celebrate our long and glorious history of taking care of our ethnic friends.

    • It should have bought the George Floyd bra, so tight you can’t breath, available in blunt white or raw tobacco

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