British Board of Film Classification

 
Oh lordy, will all this wokery never end?

The BBFC has become the latest organisation to wet the bed and fall over itself in a pathetic effort to appease professional offence takers. What’s it done then? Taken a stand against orgies of violence and sex on screen? Er, no. The BBFC has (wait for it) decided that its certification for the 1964 classic ‘Mary Poppins’ must be revised from ‘U’ to ‘PG’, because of *gasp* two uses of ‘racially discriminatory’ language.

I’m sure the matter is scorched into the psyche of cunters everywhere. I well remember swooning with shock as I watched the scene where the sweeps dance on the rooftop. From nearby, the batty character ‘Admiral Boom’ yells ‘we’re being attacked by Hottentots!’ before firing fireworks at them. ‘Hottentots’, as I’m sure every shocked viewer is aware, has been added to the ever-increasing list of words deemed offensive by some busybody or other.

But why stop there? After all, the chimney sweeps were ‘blacked up’. Disney should be censured for this inflammatory imagery. And what about Dick van Dyke’s insult
to native Londoners with his disgraceful racist mockery of their accent? I’m grossly offended by this crude and shameful caricature. Should he apologise? ‘Indoobitubly, Bary Boppins’.

Oh dear. I’m so overcome that I think I’ve peed my pants.

Scotsman

Nominated by Ron Knee with a second dose of sugar/shit on a spoon from Chuff Chugger below.

I second this on the basis only the very active ‘woke’ community who actively go out their way to look for this sort of thing would know what that word meant. I mean, I am a 60 year old bloke and never heard of it….and took no notice of it either when i would have been of the age group it was intended for when I first saw the film. when you are 8 years old so so there are a lot of words you don’t know the meaning of, but it didn’t detract from the enjoyment of the film and neither did I instantly become a racist because of some of those words.

I am very much looking forward to several traditional plays from Shakespeare being censored or ‘revised’ in due course due to the use of now defunct words.

I must also add, whilst watching that episode of top gear where they built a bridge over the river kwai? and used the word ‘slope’, I had never heard of that as a derogatory term to our slitty eyed friends, and I only became aware of its meaning in the context they subliminally meant AFTER they were told to apologise. and I don’t think I’m that uneducated.

Capital I Chuff Chugger capital I C.A.

95 thoughts on “British Board of Film Classification

  1. Kids cannot see MP, but can get chemically castrated and injected with cancer causing drugs. Warped twisted cunts.

  2. Fucking well leave it alone you cunts. I have given up watching the dambusters now on tv as they have changed the name of guy gibsons black labrador from nigger to trigger, its the dogs name you turds. All these warnings of naughty words of the time boil my piss. When the bedwetters cant change anything else will they be satisfied, no. The views of the minority surpassing the views of the majority.

    • I wonder what ever happened to Peter Jackson’s long talked about remake of ‘The Dambusters’?

      Poor old Nigger’s place in history will probably be obliterated.

  3. Bum
    Wee
    Poo
    Willy
    Hottentot
    I’m a naughty boy me.

    Sorry Mum, won’t say it again.

    • Someone told me that his real name is Penis van Lesbian, but I don’t know if that’s true or not.

  4. Whatever this countries failings are, we do lead the world in petty minded bureaucracy..

    We have cunts like that in spades..
    Oops that me coming with a trigger warning.

  5. I’m glad this doesn’t effect me due to the types of films I watch. I’ve alread over a thousand films to last more than a lifetime.

  6. From my time in SA ‘Hottentot’ meant the Koi/San natives of the Western and Northern Capes. The original Saffas. (Not the Nguni blacks who came from the north and ‘colonised’ the south. ) I presume it is Dutch/Afrikaans and wasnt aware it was offensive. However, now it has been brought to my attention I am outraged and calling for Julie Andrews to be cancelled.

    • As a 13 year old at the time, I was too busy wanking myself stupid at the thought of being ‘educated’ by MaryP to give a fuck about what a Hottentot was or wasn’t.

      More than half a century on, I’m now ‘re-imagining’ it (as Hollywood types put it) with Emily Blunt;

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_sV7hm179Q

      An assisted shower please Mary…

  7. Another outdated pile of shite.

    At least,remarkably,its not paid for out of taxpayers money.

    Get rid of it,well past its sell by date.

    Anyhow I’m off to watch the exceptionally rare copy of Snow White with the dwarfs gang bang in it.

  8. Sorry but I not only agree with this but also add my voice calling for it to be banned.

    Mary Poppins encourages cockneyism.

    I don’t want northern youth infected with it .

    Little Billy suddenly goes all Gor Blimey.

    From a correct
    ” Eeee our mother, that were a reet champion bit of cow heel that were”

    To
    “Cor! Love a duck! My old treacle,
    Smashing that!
    Any chance of some eels ma?
    Straight in an out no shooters”

    I won’t stand for it.

    So there.

  9. Another outdated pile of shite.

    At least,remarkably,its not paid for out of taxpayers money.

    Get rid of it,well past its sell by date.

    Anyhow I’m off to watch the exceptionally rare copy of Snow White with the dwârfs gang bang in it.

    • That actually exists Terry.

      The gang bang with the dwarves and their tiny willies is hilarious.

      The bit at the end where prince charming throws 12″ of throbbing gristle right up Snow whites dung funnel had me (and snow white) in tears

  10. The sound of music was as bad.
    ‘I am sixteen going on seventeen’. See, full of disgusting peeder fillias.
    Disgusting!

    • you probably just typed a word that WordPress didn’t like, it’s kind of random.

      • I only ever get moderated when my post is totally bereft of anything that can be classed as even vaguely offensive. I mean, ‘cunt’ is fine, but ‘dwärf’ will get it moderated. Get a fucking grip.

      • Aye the curse of the dwãrf did for me in an earlier post.

        It doesn’t help at all that my phone is a cunt.

      • It does too. If you come out with a load bollocks you can blame your phone. Or Rishi.

    • Moderated?

      They must think the sun shines out your ass! Some of my fucking posts disappear!

  11. Another righteous nomination.

    Interesting to me are the remarks about not knowing the word Slope. Growing up with the Viet Nam War, I heard the word Slope used all the time. It was short for Slope Head. It was used interchangeably with Zip…short for Zipperhead.

    Cunt 1: “Fucking slanty-eyed, slope headed, rice eating motherfuckers”

    Cunt 2: “Rice eating? Those fucking Zipperheads eat dog!”

    Ah, the good old days.

    • Ahh, ok fair enough I can appreciate our friends across the pond hearing of the phrase ‘slope’ more commonly than us in this extension of the middle east we call the UK.

      We didn’t get asked to win that one did we?

      • Hey Chuff,

        Not a criticism. Just an observation.

        I don’t think there were too many British troops in Viet Nam. There were more than a few Aussies and even a few left over Froggies who didn’t get the opportunity to surrender the first time so they stuck around hoping for a second chance.

        And of course…Marvin the ARVN.

      • it was said with the best of intentions GC….just a bit of leg pulling my friend

  12. I made a reference to a film on another post so will expand that on this nom as it is very relevant.

    I am surprised that some of the early Bond films haven’t been re-classified.

    Calling someone Pussy Galore and then sexually objectifying her – heavens above Mary Whitehouse would turn in her grave. I am therefore surprised that the hokey wokey brigade haven’t called into question some 60/70’s films for portraygin woman as an oject only to be fucked, do the ironing and other meaningful chores.

    Bet you ass Bond is going to be a LGBTQ+ niggy nog with African and Indian heritage.

  13. I would force the AWAKE wankers to watch this diabetic challenging shite, with eyelids removed and tied to their seats for the rest of their lives. With the long shite sugary song replaced by the Antidisestablishmentarianism one.

  14. Well done BBFC. They have now drawn attention to a word that was old fashioned and obscure decades ago and wasn’t considered that controversial in the first place. In fact kids may now start to reuse it as its been deemed verboten. Probably being used in a drill rap video right now before some aspirer is knifed to death outside a chicken shop in our glorious capital.

    • It’s going to be another one of their epic backfires like Joey Deacon.

      I’m going to resurrect the word pickaninnies and watch them clutch their pearls in horror before fainting dramatically.

    • The whole classification thing seems a bit bizarre to me where films aimed at kids are concerned.

      It’s very common for film-makers to include one use of ‘fuck’ in films actually to avoid getting a ‘U’ classification. Apparently teenagers are reluctant to go to see a film classified as ‘U’ because they think it’s for infants.

      Ironic.

      • I went to see a number of films as a teenager because they were 18, only to discover they were utter shit. I was a gullible young twat, me. Now I’m a cynical old cunt.

      • Ron. Absolutely correct. There are a lot of instances where certain words have been introduced to an otherwise u rated film to get a more ‘edgy’ classification to get bums on seats. Not cool when you are 15 years old going to see a u rated film you see.

      • It’s all a bit odd really.

        The majority of teenagers are probably watching ‘Ass Bangers 5’ on their phones anyway.

  15. Do you think the destroyers of fun, will ban the adult version, Mary Poppouts.

  16. What the fuck is “Hottentot”? Granted I’m only 41 so might not be aware of all racial slurs for black people, but now that I’ve discovered this racial slur, previously lost to history much like Atlantis or the even more obscure lost continent of Lemuria, I can honestly say that I’m not going to suddenly become massively racist or genocidal.

    I’ve never been particularly racist or genocidal even having had knowledge of such racial slurs such as:

    – Baboon
    – Chimp
    – Coon
    – Darkie
    – Golliwog
    – Gorilla
    – Jungle Bunny
    – Jigaboo
    – Kaffir
    – Monkey
    – Moolie
    – Nigga
    – Nigger
    – Nignog
    – Niglet (age-specific)
    – Pickaninny
    – Sambo
    – Spade
    – Spear-Chucker
    – Shwoogie
    – Spook
    – You People (it’s a Yank thing apparently).

    I’m sure there are more racial slurs for black people but if I heard them, I also doubt that I would become racist or genocidal simply for having heard them.

  17. Oh look in the header picture, 4 genuine s00tys, yes masser.. chiggun

  18. This whole film is riddled with wrong think and stereotypes.

    The BBFC is just nodding towards real cultural enlightenment!

    There are no openly LBGT characters in the entire film, none of the children are exploring their sexuality or gender identities. The only dyke in the film is a man for fucks sake.

    The lead woman in the film is a servant subservient to the upper classes and their heterosexual disgustingly white social construct.

    The lead woman is also implicated in witchcraft, inferring women cannot do anything without some kind of outside assistance.

    Cultural appropriation, Van not a Dyke at all ( this part was clearly written for a lesbian) murders the ancient cockney dialect throughout this poor excuse for a film. Van Dyke is also guilty of blackface, who’s he think he is Our Lord Justin Trudeau?

    The music! Not one piece of street music in the whole fucking film. Obviously the film was made for white public school children only.

    The use of English and correct gramma throughout the film. This makes the dialog difficult for people from disadvantaged backgrounds and those from third world countries, London, Birmingham etc. Not to mention they didn’t even bother translating it into scouse.

    Toxic masculinity is on display throughout the film, this is proven by the inclusion male characters, all men are toxic.

    The gratuitous mentions of a fossil fuel, a spit in the face for those who are trying to fight climate change and save the planet.

    There’s so much more wrong with this film and I’m beginning to fear the BBFC and the members of this site are not in the slightest bit woke, neither managed to identify the multitude of social programming included in this film as part of a concerted effort by the patriarchy to reinforce their white straight male agenda.

    Shame on you all, you’re standing on the wrong side of history. I am so horrified I’m going to scream in the street for 10 minutes and then work on my menstrual cycle.

    • Absolutely spot on Six.

      If it was up to me, this utterly backward and socially unaware piece wouldn’t get a certificate.

      It should be withdrawn from circulation. I’m surprised that Disneywoke hasn’t already done so.

  19. I’m in full agreement with the BBFC.

    Many scenes in old B&W films currently classified U depict glamorous role models like Anna Neagle smoking untipped cigarettes. Surely for that alone these films should be reclassified 18?

    On the subject of films, it would also helpful if Pornhub* issued warnings before one gets too settled.

    “WARNING! This film may contain scenes of blacks doing da white women.”

    If nothing else it would might help with my inadequacy issues. I settled down to have a tug the other night – fucking disaster! Just a terrible fuzzy picture of some sad-looking old cunt with his shrivelled knob in his hand.

    It was then that I realised that I’d forgotten to turn the laptop on.

    * Other purveyors of online filth are available.

    • ‘ I settled down to have a tug the other night – fucking disaster! Just a terrible fuzzy picture of some sad-looking old cunt with his shrivelled knob in his hand.

      It was then that I realised that I’d forgotten to turn the laptop on’

      That is fucking funny.

      Have a pint on me for that!!

  20. At least Jeremy Hunt has made a token gesture towards our Muslim brethren in the budget.

    ‘£1m for a memorial to honour Muslims who fought for Britain during World War One and Two’

    A spoon full of what?

    • I heard that being announced live.

      I immediately finished my pot noodle, stuck my boot through the tv screen and sent the bill to the uk government.

      • It has to be a piss take? They must know they are sticking the finger up at us?

        I’ll wait till he announces they are building it outside the Manchester arena.

      • Fucking joke.

        How about a million quid memorial to the Oirish who fought for Britain in Iraq and Afghanistan.

        They could build it on my front lawn. And the memorial could just be a big pile of a million quid.

        I might write to my MP.

    • I wonder if the BLM will seek to destroy the statue as the Muslims were at the forefront of the slave trade.

  21. O/T, but anyone who enjoys seeing Emily Maitlis being told to fuck off should get a kick out of this clip. I’m sure the General can fill us in on the lovely Marjorie Taylor Greene who seems like an All American good time gal:

    https://tw.yahoo.com/video/why-dont-f-off-marjorie-103524191.html?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAJAbtVnJFQ_rWhD48OqkAMXzQ5mx3PVFoK1r4exdS_v3RVl4HvxNDfWEO3Xqehf_1E_Kp_fgQTWBkbaPC94EzdSJgOdKE1yYPDhQor8vzcXMw9-dCL5MByCowZO_DcBqXu0oM1Chh4FVbewmdfQChnjM8HS22E0EYyPzFXt4dn-l

  22. Did anyone see that news article that was doing the rounds on WhatsApp about a football team called ‘Munter Hunters’?

    Absolute class.

    Genuine regional news item.

    Newsreader puts his best concerned face on and says in that low tone that a team due to play Munter Hunters had refused to play them because their name was derogatory towards women and he went on to describe that the term Munter was indeed that.

    I thought fuck me thanks for that I didn’t know that word, well obviously I did but no doubt 000’s of kids possibly watching didn’t and now they do.

    What a bunch of self righteous cunts.

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