Well, here’s a bunch of cunts who built a load of sub-standard ( and rather pricey) housing, which they’re now having to demolish and rebuild.
Why? Well, apparently the site surveyors son? ( on a working with parent day) measured the footings with his handkerchief ( attrib. Fred Dibnah) and called it good.
Except it wasn’t. Now all these houses, some of which have been sold, with folk expecting to move having also sold their current home, have to be demolished and rebuilt.
Will they get a round coin in compensation, or even a personal apology? I doubt it.
By the way, sonny, inches and centimetres are not exactly the same.
Nominated by Jezum Priest.
Update:
https://www.itv.com/news/anglia/2023-09-25/dozens-more-new-homes-worth-over-20m-found-with-defects-and-will-be-rebuilt
This is our country now.
7
Copying Chinese Tofu Dreg housing.
Going down to their level, the cunts.
1
2 years back I worked on a site for 5 months, some of the homes were trad build, you know, bricks, blocks etc but were for social housing. The others, while larger and more ‘fancy’ were modular construction, they were fabricated in a factory, shipped out in sections and positioned using a crane. The defects were shocking, one particular house had a difference of 30 mm between both sides, the solution ? Put a strip of metal trim down the join, fill with expanding foam tape (called contra-band) and the residual space filled in with 7 tubes of mastic.
350k+ these were going for at a build cost of circa 50k.
It was shit.
16
Sounds like something the pompous cunts on ‘Grand Designs’ might get designed and built.
3
Regimented, identikit slums of the future at £850,000 a pop.
I’d rather live in a cave.
13
You are Osama bin laden, and I claim my free flying lessons.
13
I wouldn’t be seen dead in a new build house.
I think they’re vulgar.
And as for your eleccy car charging point?
You can shove it up your arse.
15
I wonder how long it will be before some enterprising person manufactures a universal EV charger, and folk sneak round while the house is unoccupied to charge their car/bike/van?
Bound to happen, I hope they have isolating switches indoors.
7
‘And as for your eleccy car charging point?
You can shove it up your arse.’
A bloke in Hampshire I saw trying to pull the charger over his EV mini’s boot nearly did.
4
Has to be said those are hideously ugly looking drums.
1
Most of the builders I’ve seen start on marijuana for breakfast,thus leading to houses that seem likely to collapse when it’s a bit windy..or as that big titted Scottish weather lass calls it “a hurrican bomb” or summat.
I’d never buy one and if I were given one by a big titted admirer I’d sell the fucker at once.
Modern house builds are our equivalent of those shithole shacks with tin roofs that Afghan cunts live in.
Fuck em.
13
Considering the population we’re importing in vast numbers it seems appropriate that we’re building the British equivalent of mud huts. Except without the structural integrity.
7
Should have hired Sam Beau in as Clerk of Works!
1
I live in a Victorian terrace, with sturdy Accrington brick…..
It may be a tad draughty,bits of damp here and there, expensive to keep warm……but at least I know if I slam the door front door 💥 it won’t fold like a pack of cards behind me 😩…..
14
I’m a builder, I’d never go near a big site cos I’m not big on elfnsafety……
But victorian houses??
Of the dozen or so I’ve refurbished once you start stripping them out you wonder how the hell they’re still standing
4
Indeed GC. On a couple of occasions over recent years houses of that era undergoing extensive refurbishments have literally fallen down in the middle of the job. We’re talking of London here though where mugs with more money than sense pay through the nose for places which outside the home counties would be bulldozed without a second thought.
4
Splendid header pic, Admin.
I bet the ” water feature” added a few £ks to the price!
5
I like buildings that are properly built.
A few hundred years to settle and develop a patina, and a character.
Maybe with a ghost.
A drunken cavalier or a chubby monk.
A civil war Roundhead with his head tucked under his arm .
That’d be grand that.
Deeeyy oo
Deeeeyyy oo.
Deeeyli come .
https://youtu.be/dzSP-J90tqA?si=aq53rx9wUY4Ov9X3
8
Perhaps if the home office let a few bricklayers ,carpenters and plasterers in, instead of all those doctors, scientists and teachers.
12
And speaking of home office cunts.
Needing 2.6 billion emergency cash payment to pay for the vermin’s hotel bill.
That’s some mini bar misuse.
9
Good evening Barry,
I wonder if in some dark corner of officialdom a pen pusher has worked out the cost of gassing them all?
5
No, the Polish lot were bad enough.
2
My parents bought a new Wimpy hutch in the 70s, what a fucking hole, even though it was brick cavity built, they got the builders back at least times to fux things. We moved after 8 years into a 30s house and it was excellent. Not long after they demolished the speedway stadium near us and started building 4 bedroomed detached house. I went to have a look. Brick walls around a timber frame and they were the same size as our 3 bedroom semi, one bedroom had an ensuite and the other 3 were basically large wardrobes, fucking joke.
12
fix is what they had to do, fux is what they’d done.
8
FFS and they had to get the builders back at least 3 times….
6
Bloody hell,imagine the torture of having a speedway track within earshot ?
2
I was alright where I lived, it wasn’t too bad, next door though?
3
Used to go every Tuesday night as a teenager in the 70s.
2
Nice if you like sleeping standing up.
Estate agents love hearing that.
4
The new town near me ( Cranbrook) had houses built to first fix, when the builders went to second fix found the houses had subsided. Fuck knows how but that’s the price you pay for building on land that’s the flood plain for two rivers.
That particular effort had the locals in fits.
10
‘Mud!. mud!. glorious mud!’
1
Cranbrook, Kent?. There used to be a windmill there, I seem toremember?
0
How come wattle and daub timber framed structures are still fine 500yrs down the road?
yet a new build is falling apart within months.
10
Too many important people having too many liquid lunches.
Maybe the surveyors and building control were working from home and never visited site, or sent an intern in her hard hat, high heels and a degree in textiles and a Chinese tape measure.
4
There must be a place in this country for proper quality be it houses or any other good or service. We have a butchers shop about 100 yards from us but customers come from far and wide as they are superb. You can sell people your produce once but repeat custom is impossible if you offer poor service.
5
How the fuck do these shabby shitholes pass “building inspection”?
Answer: They are apparently allowed to sign things off by themselves.
This approach would be great for medical students to sign off their peers after 15 pints and a curry.
What could possibly go wrong ?
9
As a builder of new build homes for a well known housebuilder, I can confirm that they are a pile of shite and only worth about half of what the mugs pay for them.
Only the rinky dinks have the kind of dirty cash needed to buy a one bed flat for a million quid right now and the little yellow fuckers are hoovering them up two or three at a time.
I have farted in every one of their fridges.
16
Well done, that man!
4
British Empire Medal nomination for you sir.
4
My house was built in 1890, all the problems with it have been caused by the previous occupants. The last one may have been called Frank Spencer mind……
6
I must admit I would quite like a brand new flat (apartment) on the second or third floor (to avoid flooding by the sea. Modernm clean, warm. Old houses are over-rated cold miserable. Who knows?. I’d never buy an old house again.
3
Not me.
I Hate anything modern.
And would hate to live near the sea.
It stinks of fish.
I wanted that I’d move next door to Katie price.
7
An seaside towns are full of pee do files and smackheads.
6
The seaside is amazing, the wildlife in summer is a sight to behold. The wildebeest herds with their Leeds accents are not something one forgets.
9
And I hate the beach.
What’s that about?
Sand in the crack of your arse,
In your socks, in your corned beef butties.
Rubbish.
Just go on the golf links if you want sand
Stand in a bunker.
6
Youve made me want a corn beef and tomato sauce sandwich now you rascal.
7
Katy and her mum Amy are fine examples as what is known as a Sussex Cooze
…
I made that up.
1
Through my job I am aware of this development. As far as I am aware it is not yet clear where the blame lies – with the geotechnical report (soil analysis will determine if strip footings or piles), the structural design of the foundations or the workmanship on site responsible for constructing the foundations.
Whoever is found responsible won’t be on great terms with their professional indemnity insurer.
7
Perhaps it’s been signed off by one of those Thai blokes who posts videos of himself building a home from mud on some riverbank with just simple tools and has fucking idiots chimping on about him being a ‘genius’.
6
Having had dealings with first Wilson Bowden owner of David Wilson Homes (bought out by Barratt when the greedy cunts were nearly bankrupt) they are an absolute bunch of thieving cunt wankers. If anyone else tried to rob people like these cunts they would be banged up. On a happier note yesterday, Belway homes paid up in full no quibble. Pity it’s took 40 years lol 😂 we are now celebrating with a Tesco wine bag of Oz Chardonnay,
9
Of course they’re crap.
Fuck them and anyone stupid enough to buy one.
6
Just this week I was reading a whingepiece by some Tarquin in the Grauniad or some such shitrag about him paying £800k for a two bed flat in Camden and the whole building is subsiding and falling apart after two years.
My first thoughts were ‘What a stupid cunt’
and ‘£800k for a flat in Camden’? They saw you coming mate. 🤣
12
I live in a new build well it was 28 years ago, it’s been a fantastic home built by Bryant, best £92.5k I ever spent.
5
Just this week I was
2
well that went wrong. let’s try again.
1
It’s not really surprising as the lack of skilled tradesmen dwindles every passing year..
Every youngster wants to go to university or become a influencer or football star..
Deluded twats..
The boys of Auf Wiedersehen Pet are spinning in their graves..
9
My home was built by German POWs in 1947.
Truly jerry built but soild and made to last perhaps not for a thousand years but at least for another 100 years.
10
Started my career in this life as an architect earl ’70s working on various schemes including social housing for both private and Council outfits. Dear old Housing Cost Yardstick loomed large. Basically every element in the construction had to conform to a (unrealistic) price schedule and building went out to tender on that basis. Only way contractors could get a Council contract was through backhanders, Masonic contacts and knowingly quoting unrealistic low prices. Profits were made through the use of cheaper materials and dodgy construction methods which would be waved through by a corrupt Clerk of Works. Nothing has changed since, indeed the old Corruption Carnival has gone on spinning faster and faster. All the Building Regulation has been privatised with Contractors managing their own building standards and the old Clerk of Works long gone. In those days there were local authority Fire Officers monitoring, signing off and advising the Builders on best practice to avoid risk of fire. Again long gone.
I do miss the fun of not having them around anymore because artful compromise and large brown envelopes were the order of the day. The lads on site were always very obliging if someone needed new bathroom fittings, a boiler or say a few pots of paint. Roll on the present day and very little has changed except as I have said, there is even less quality control than ever.
Builders make their money by having as many schemes as possible going on at the same time and rotating workers between them. Ever since the ’50s the Holy Grail has been to find ways to build that are not stopped by inclement weather or bad soil conditions and punters can be moved in as soon as possible.
Traditional building methods took too long to settle and dry out hence the current systems of dry construction using laminate beams, pressure cured concrete blocks and as little water as possible in construction. Wood in modern houses? Don’t make me laugh. Plastic fascias, plastic windows and doors, laminate floors please.
On top of that there is the obsession with insulation which means air no longer circulates within buildings and mould and damp feature in bedrooms and bathrooms.
I am sure I do not need to mention the unsuitable sites (left well alone by our ancestors) such as flood plains and industrial contamination. The more we build and the faster we build the worse it gets.
18
Mass migration could potentially,possibly cause a problem then?
I should alert the Gravy Train but the raucous laughter would likely drown me out.
Good evening Sir Limply.
3
I was a site manager on and off for twenty years and I agree with all these comments. The worst of the worst were properties built leading up to the companies financial year end when they were rushed and bodged even more than usual while the directors demanded more properties were pushed through. I was working at Barrett London when they purchased DW homes and watched the share price plummet to 57p.
5
I install luxury and high end bathrooms for a living. As the years have passed by , more and more of our jobs are in large 6bed plus “executive” homes built during the 80’s and 90’s
Fuck me. The build quality is actually frightening at times. 2 inch thick egg box (paramount) internal walls and just about every waste pipe running uphill. Everything smashed together with a hammer and hidden under plasterboard or chipboard flooring. Every job we quote for involves stripping the room completely back to bare block/ stud work etc and start from scratch. My pad used to be a tool shed and stables. Built about 300years ago and is good for another 300 at least.
7
Anyone got Johnny earwig in Deadpool?
1
Fuck that Apollo Creed is dead?
I blame the Russians for killing him 35 years ago as well.
3
Mansfield’s finest George Bamboo has won.
Congrats George 👍
1
I am coming to the end of a substantial house extension and renovation – just a few ceiling joists and internal walls are all that is left from the original 1961 structure.
I have been hands on with the work all the way and am a bit OCD with ensuring everything is top notch. From sand and cement render and plaster (no dot n dab) to hand cut, replacement timber roofing. No developer would have been quite so anal.
5
If anybody had Jonnie Irwin in the dead pool…
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/health/other/tv-presenter-dies-after-battle-with-cancer/ar-BB1hGDg6
0
My parents and brother have lived in their new build since 2001. It’s held up pretty well so far.
3