Welcome to Sex

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is a cunt

This is a vulgar book aimed at children from age 8. It’s a guide to sexuality, pleasure and “figuring it out”. It contains a ”how to” guide for oral sex, an explanation of how “two penis-owners have anal sex” and cartoon drawings of two women “scissoring” Other perversions are also included, accompanied by pictures.

Who’s to say that these young kids won’t try to experiment and then one thing leads to another.

So called ‘author’ Yumi Stynes and publishers Simon and Schuster must be proud of themselves making money from this shit, although hopefully it won’t fly off the shelves.

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Nominated by mystic maven.

107 thoughts on “Welcome to Sex”

  1. Why the fuck can’t they just let kids be kids? We all figured it for ourselves back in the day and the vast majority of us turned out to be normal human beings

  2. Boggs Pornographic Film Productions (Taiwan) are negotiating for the rights to this book. We are looking for a new project for our star Yvette Sugartits Cooper. We have the school uniform, the kebab shop flat “somewhere oop North”. We just have t work out what scissoring is and whether our star is able to do it. We are not so up on the latest lesbo perversions.

  3. It’s to prime them for pee do files.
    Why would a 8yr old need to know about blowjobs?

    The church)( mainly kiddydiddlers)
    The government ( mainly kiddydiddlers)
    The BBC ( mainly kiddydiddlers)
    Won’t see any harm in this book.

    Quite the opposite!

    The writer of this book should have their eyes burnt out with a hot poker.

    It’s abhorrent.
    Any real government would ban it.
    Make it a criminal offence to show it a child.

    • The red hot poker option really appeals I must say Mis, I’d be up for dishing out some of that.

    • The BBC give the book out as part of their ‘onboarding’ and training in the first week.

      • It will probably be one of the recommendations on A Good Read on Wireless 4 soon. Harriet Gilbert, who chairs the programme sounds like a dykie girl.

  5. If this Viz sex guide is a success, there maybe a book of instructions on how to get rid of people fucking up this country before it finally goes down the plug hole.

  6. I didn’t learn about sex at school and it did me no harm.

    My wife’s arse wasn’t half sore that first year..

    • Harriet is far too busy these days to read. Since Mandy gave her one of his butt plugs – ever since her poor dear husband died – she’s missed it, you know. Not any more

  10. People kids shouldn’t learn about sex from

    TV presenters
    TV weathermen
    Scout masters
    Taxi drivers
    Teachers with funny hair
    Inventors of stylaphones
    Priests
    And swimming instructors.

  11. No doubt read to the under 10s by a “drag queen”..

    All this insane depravity is indeed becoming a cliche,it hardly raises an eyebrow anymore…which is just what they want.

    If they want to rob children of what innocence they still have they should face consequences.

    Immediate Oven,the cunt authors and the money grubbing shithouse vermin that publish it.

  12. They’ve brought the book out now, ready for the children to perform it infront of their parents next Christmas, instead of the boring old Nativity Christ shite.

  13. Does it really refer to ‘penis-owners’?

    I’ve got a head. That must make me a ‘head-owner’.

    Afternoon all.

    • We know what they mean Ron but this silly terminology leaves space for ambiguity. For instance, my wife’s view is that she owns mine.

  14. I am sure it will be a great read for kids and parents 😂

    It will soon be banned when a few Muslim parents make a complaint

  15. Either the ‘Q’ or ‘+’ in ‘LGBTQ+’ covers Feedopiles.

    Don’t be fooled by the ‘fact checks’ on stories of the Alphabet people adding a P.

    There’s no need. It’s already in there under another guise.

    • I mark you right CP.
      To those cunts it’s a quirk rather than a stigma.

      Burn em

      • If gays and lezzas themselves are no longer identifying with the alphabets and calling it a home for groomers and rapists, i’m inclined to listen.

  16. If a ‘funny uncle’ or pervy family friend was to show your pre-teen kids pictures of simulated sex and to talk to them about bumming and blow jobs then I imagine that you could get the police (service) involved and the loony would end up on the sex offenders register.

    When local education authorities do exactly the same thing nothing happens and it’s any outraged parents that are at fault.

    Why is that?

    • Once More I point you in the direction of the 11 point plan for quiet socialist revolution (see point 3)

      The creation of racism offenses.

      Continual change to create confusion.

      The teaching of sex and homosexuality to children.

      The undermining of schools’ and teachers’ authority.

      Huge immigration to destroy identity.

      The promotion of excessive drinking.

      Emptying of churches.

      An unreliable legal system with bias against victims of crime.

      Dependency on the state or state benefits.

      Control and dumbing down of media.

      Encouraging the breakdown of the family.

      Or Labour’s actual policy manifesto, as it is also known.

  17. Do ‘penis owners’ typically have moustaches? It can be confusing otherwise. What about clowns? Sex is no laughing matter. It is also important to have enough towels. Wearing gloves means not having to worry about fingerprints.

  19. I do hope that this book is factual ie women can have dicks, men can have babies. So important to get things right as this book will become a standard textbook.
    Well I suppose things could get worse but I very much doubt it fuck them all fucking deviants

  20. Teachers really are cunts.

    They study their chosen subject for years and then……
    Science and Geography teachers start teaching the kids about man made climate change, although many of them will know that it’s not true.
    Biology teachers will lecture about there being more than two genders when they know for certain that it’s complete nonsense.
    And English teachers, if they are the ones responsible for stocking the school libraries will promote sexual behaviour for kids aged 8, knowing that is totally wrong.

    They are all shit scared of saying the right thing.
    Thet do not have the child’s best interest at heart, they are just hanging on to their jobs.

  21. Kids should learn about it like most normal people do.
    Fumbling about behind the sports hall or bike sheds with kids their own age.
    No grown ups allowed ever

    • All sounds a bit hit and miss, Everyonesa. Just imagine, they might never find out about the important roles that can be played by voles and small rodents.

  23. That first time you cop a feel is a landmark moment for any lad.

    You feel like you’ve become a man!
    Strut a bit.

    ” Smell my fingers!!”

    I lost my cherry on.a railway embankment (near Angie Rayners house) when i.was 15.

    Never looked back.

    If the railway children had been filmed in Stockport that nice old gentleman on.the train.would of been greeted with the vision.of my.arse bobbing up an down😁

    ” Daddy! My Daddy!”

    • 15 is a good age to have sex for the first time.
      15 for me too, in the corner of the school playing field.
      I ran home, burst in and told my dad.
      “Well done son!” he said, full of pride.
      “This weekend to celebrate, I’ll get you that BMX you’ve been after.”
      “Can we just go for a burger, dad? My arse is killing me.”

  24. Aged 8 the last thing I was interested in was anything adults had to say about sex.

    By then I’d learned everything I needed to know about sex from my peers behind the bike sheds, and experimenting with Paul Read’s sister Caroline at number 47 Henley Road.

  25. It’s strange how your opinions change over time.

    Years ago, I would pour scorn on Mary Whitehouse.

    But I wouldn’t now.

    She’d have gone nuclear over shite like this.

    As would Maggie

    And they’d have every justification.

    I expect sex with ‘ consenting children ‘ to be made legal within the next ten years.

    This is truly ‘ Last Days Of Rome ‘ territory.

    Anyone involved with this abomination should be burned at the stake. 🔥🔥🔥

    Get To Fuck.

    • Damn right, Jack.
      Despite spewing all manner of pęrvęrted disgusting filth on here, in real life, I’m strong moralist and agree with Mary Whitehouse on many issues.
      She’s a bit of a hypocrite though…I saw her doing a magazine spread in 1988 for Color Climax, pretending to lez up with Barbara Woodhouse, jiggling their wrinkly, withered tits, their tongues millimetres from each other’s dry fannies, the octogenarian prick-teasers.

    • Not to worry.
      It’ll be alright on the night when Shariah Law takes precedence over English law in this country.

    • The trouble is this shite is supported for purely ideological reasons. It’s a deranged compulsion of the liberal left since the late sixties, destroying restrictions to sexual and gender habits, whether they’re a good idea or not.

      Revolution for its own sake.

  26. So, we’ve gone on from having 100+ genders to corrupting children by writing a book about how two Daddies/Mummies have sex.

    I’m just waiting for some cunt to tell me how cats and dogs have multiple genders. Then I will either go postal with an illegally acquired rifle, or commit suicide ( which probably amounts to their thing, in the end)

    The only thing children need to know about sex is that it’s a grown-up thing.

  27. Color Climax was hedge porn gold.

    My.dad had a few hid that I’d ‘ borrow ” for 15 mins but nowt better than finding one in the woods!!!!

    You’d find that airbrushed yank shite ,
    Playboy whatever,
    That didn’t ignite my teenage lust flame.

    But color Climax or Razzle?
    Is it?
    Pushing through the grass and brambles hoping the rain hadn’t ruined it,
    It is!!!

    My throat would constrict making guttural sounds,
    And I’d roll and writhe in the grass like a dog in fox shit.

    Nowt excites me that much nowadays.
    Can’t remember the last time I found a grumble mag in the woods.

    • I didn’t mind Penthouse to be fair.

      Once found an excellent assortment under an old tarp when I was 14 or so..

      Forty years on even thinking such thoughts will have Elon Musk round with the police to fit a “restraining bolt”..

      The Cunts.

      • There was a local fly tipping spot near us, where an old kitchen appliance or two would invariable contain a copy of readers wives, fiesta or razzle. The real prize was to find one of them hardcore Dutch magazines. Then the Sunday Sport came along and presented a whole new cornucopia of delights…

    • Doing house refurbs in the 80’s it was like finding Blackbeard’s treasure under the floorboards.

      ‘GOLD’!!!! The cry would go up!

      If we were really lucky it would be some top notch uncensored grumble from Scandinavia or Germany and it would be removed to a safe distance by the site agent. Which usually meant the glove box of his Transit.

      The tame stuff like readers (Munter) wives was left for us mere mortals to fight over in the only bog on site after it had been bespoiled by some 30 stone bricklayer after a night on the Hurlimanns.

    • Continental porn mags…
      ‘New Cunts’ was my favourite.
      But not the censored rip-offs sold in UK sex shops in the ‘70s and ‘80s.
      I wonder if proper porn mags are legal here now?
      Incredible looking back how prudish this country was till relatively recently.

    • Yeah Playboy was a bit meh wasn’t it. A bit like the softcore Loaded and FHM, the pictures were airbrushed and touched beyond anything resembling reality. All the photos are given the treatment of Hollywood films get, where the amber and teal contrast is whacked up, so you get an unnaturally tanned model in front of super blue water or sky, and strikingly blue eyes.

      a friend of my brother’s used to retouch photos digitally and I went to college with a girl who’d modelled for FHM. Nice enough but not striking. I thought she was very petite and skinny and I was a bit underwhelmed. Most page 3/glamour models seem to be very small, thereheads and boobs are slightly proportionally larger, making them more photogenic.

  28. I understand that the book was translated into English from the original Urdu and is dedicated to Jeffery Epstein with a forward by Andrew Windsor.

  29. Where are the howls of outrage from the Tory party hierarchy? Or the foot soldiers for that matter.

    Years ago, they’d have been on this filth like a tramp on a kipper.

    The whole system is rotten to the core.
    .
    Good evening.

    • Indeed it is Jack.

      I hope to see the day it’s taken out of their hands once and for all..and our enemies receive the Cromwell Treatment in full.

      • @Unk. Cromwell’s rage would be terrible to behold, if he were here to see the depths of depravity that Dear Old Blighty has descended into.

        He would have the New Model Army bathe the country in the blood of all these deviants.

        Which would be jolly satisfying.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a9DHOnUngxQ

        Now there’s a man I would vote for.

        That dialogue is as valid now, as then.

        Fuck, I’d even fight for him.

        Unfortunately, we have Rishi Sunak.

        How fucking low can you go ?

    • Evening, Jack. Remember John Major’s ‘Back to Basics’ policy? I think that was the last attempt to stem the tide of marxist filth that is now engulfing us. Nothing wrong with a bit of corporal punishment and fagging. At least we knew what the fuck we were voting for in those days.

      • Back to Basics for the plebs,
        But not John Major, who was shagging Edwina Curry.
        Lol.

      • John Major and Edwina Currie eh MJB? Beggars belief. Bet she was on top. She was born on Maggie’s 21st birthday you know. Naomi Campbell was born on my 19th. I don’t like to talk about it.

  30. The trouble is, this sort of deviancy is now considered ‘normal’ by the establishment and the education system, police forces and the MSM. Pride, Trans, Rainbow marching, cocks in frocks, the list is endless.

    Peter Files mates, the fucking lot of them need ovening. Gas Mk.9

    • Quite so.
      We need to get back to the good old days of oppressive morality and hostility to sex, when cunts were whipped and had their throats slit for having sex outside marriage, not to mention men having the legal right to rape their wives.
      When the Church preached that masturbation is worse than rape, cos at least rape can result in pregnancy.
      We never had it so good.

    • Unfortunately true, Leo.

      And it’s only a matter of time before a ‘P’ will be added to the LGBTQ ‘community’.

      • Indeed.
        Adding the P to LGBTQ will be a major Tory Party manifesto commitment in the 2029 general election.
        The Tories will promise anything to get re-elected,
        You can wank on it!

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