“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s cultural affairs correspondent Ron Knee speaking. It seems that with the arrival of the new year, one of Hollywood’s A+listers is planning a major relaunch of her already glittering career. Never one to rest on past triumphs, Meghan Markle is now about to launch on a project to put herself in charge behind the camera as well as in front of it. I’m joined now from LA by her p.r. guru, Max Asshatt, to discuss this exciting development. Welcome”
“Howdy Ron. Great to speak to y’all over in little ol’ UK England”
“Er…yes. So Max, what are the plans then?”
“Well, the Doochess reckons it’s time to put her massive talent to use from the director’s chair, helpin’ other actors to benefit from her own wealth of experience”
“Indeed. So could you talk us through the possibilities then?”
“Y’know, nuthin’s actually defin-ite yet. Ah mean, it’s kinda awkward workin’ out a schedule, bearin’ in mind the Doochess’s yumanitarian commitments, red carpet engagements, pickin’ up awards left right an’ centre, starrin’ in a ‘Suits’ reboot, an’ pennin’ her memoir about her scandalous treatment at the hands of the royals”
“Oh go on, give us a hint at least”
“Well we’re chewin’ over a couple of ideas. One is a ‘re-imaginin’ of ‘Gone With The Wind’, with the Doochess directin’ herself as a mixed race gal who falls in forbidden love with that Ratt Bootleg in antibellum Georgia. Brad Pitt is beggin’ to co-star. Second up, there’s ‘Log Cabin to White House’, where the Doochess directs herself as herself. This follows her life from birth as one of twelve children in a one room cabin in Tennessee, to her election as POTUS. Rachel Zegler is just gaggin’ to play the younger Meghan, from her birth to her triumph as the lead in the series ‘Suits’.
“Er, hang on. Isn’t it Dolly Parton who was raised dirt poor in Tennessee? Meghan’s a valley girl isn’t she?”
“Yeah ok, but hey, it’s a touchin’ good story. Give us a bit of dramatic licence will ya? I mean, we’re talkin’ Golden Globes, we’re talkin’ Oscars. *bring bring* hold it buddy. I gotta take this. Hello? Brad? Lissen pal, I keep tellin’ ya. Nuthin’s bin decided yet. Don’t call us, we’ll call you…”
“So there we have it. A mega year in prospect for mega Meghan. Like me, I’m sure that you can barely contain your excitement. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”
Nominated by: Ron Knee
(Next, scientists will claim the Sun shines out of her gaping arsehole! – Day Admin)
‘Sun shines out of Meghan’s arsehole!’
The New Scientist
Morning all.
17
Impossible, Ron.
That’s where her poodle lives, unless she needs him for a publicity shot.
10
Very true
10
Has this woman reached twenty cuntings in record time?
13
Must be way past if you add in Hazbeen and Meghan double cuntings.
She is a truly obnoxious individual who deserves to be cunted at least once a week.
Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see the pair of them nosedive into utter obscurity and penury.
18
I see MeGain’s poodle Halfwit has withdrawn his libel claim against the Mail on Sunday:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68034322
And “would be liable for the publisher’s £250,000 legal costs.” LOL!
12
Losing his barnet and getting podgy on top of it.
12
With due deference to our own Sam Beau, I give you the following suggestion as to where Meghan’s career may be heading:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUfLbIs309E
10
‘Da sun shines east, da sun shines west’
13
Appreciated, GT. I do so hanker for the nostalgia of more innocent, carefree times.
Mind you, I wouldn`t put it past the succubus to try it on; she`s halfway there already.
12
Newly leaked footage of Meghan’s screen test for the title role in a re-boot of ‘Carmen Jones’
7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9glvXLW1tw
5
Is it the c00n version of pippy longstocking.
0
I read that ginger tosser has dropped his case at an estimated loss of 750k , ha ha ha.
https://eu.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2024/01/19/prince-harry-lawsuit-daily-mail-publisher-dropped/72282986007/
8
Whoopsadaisy, already posted .
3
They will find some cunt to do the work and let her claim the credit, as usual.
Can’t wait for the release of the Meghan Markle Story.
10
Then there’s ‘Markle; the Musical’, starring Meghan Markle. Written, produced and directed by Meghan Markle. Music, lyrics, costumes, set design, lighting and choreography by Meghan Markle.
Will take Broadway and the West End by storm.
13
I hope I can get tickets.
8
You’ll have to know somebody who knows somebody
7
It seems she’ll be following in the footsteps of Andy Arsehole and plagiarise is 24 hour still film, by showing her cunt on screen for a similar length of time.
4
Twenty four hours of Hazza, do you mean?
5
No, Ron. It was my skit on Andy Warhol’s Empire film about fuck all.
3
How can you say that Sammy?
It is art!
Next you’ll be ssying Warhol was wrong about McDonalds!
2
He was more of a Campbell’s man CP.
2
I’m not too sure about that.
The most beautiful thing in Tokyo is McDonald’s. The most beautiful thing in Stockholm is McDonald’s. The most beautiful thing in Florence is McDonald’s. Peking and Moscow don’t have anything beautiful yet.
2
When Harry met Ishtar, She of Boundless Beauty, Infinite Talent and Foresight and Wisdom.
Look Upon Her Works and Tremble, Worthless Peasant-Cunts.
(rated 12A)
5
Kubrick?
Truffaut?
Herzog?
Pfft. Nothing compared to Markle.
Would you trust her to ‘direct’ a clip show of animals doing the funniest things?
6
‘My husband does the funniest things’
Two hours of hilarious footage as the puddle-headed lap dog tries to brush his teeth and tie his own shoelaces.
10
I wouldn’t let her direct traffic, CP.
1
Let’s hope that if she does end up directing a flick, that it turns out to be a real skip fire.
Regardless, I can see a situation where a lot of people turn up to see it, out of morbid curiosity.
4
She’ll have to graft the rate that ginger puff is wasting their cash chasing then failing to catch journos making up true stories about them.
Perhaps the thick cunts are planning the no doubt excellent “movie” to be a tax write off,just like their entire soy existence.
Thanks for shining a light up Megain’s arsehole (again) Ron👍
10
He should look at a film career himself to make a few bob. How about ‘Flop Gun’, the story of one warrior’s lonely war against the Taliban? I mean, he is, as we all know, an actual ‘Legend of Aviation’ (award bought and paid for).
Audiences are just crying out for another ‘one man army’ flick. Tom Cruise could play Hazza, if he was willing to shave most of his hair off and develop a bit of a gut.
Mmm, may I should copyright this idea before Hazza pinches it.
15
I’m about to go into training for an attempt on skiing down her nose. It was a pity I never got the chance at her fathers, Bob Hope. That would’ve been a challenge.
7
Sammy Scheidt you are Eddie the Eagle and I claim my free ticket to ‘Dancing on Ice’.
7
Eddie was a right cunt GT. You never know, he could be on here where he can’t go wrong.
5
Don’t take on Streisand Sammy. Two skiers have already died in the attempt, and one is on life support.
8
You must’ve read my mind Ron. I’m recovering, cradling in her snatch as we speak.
7
The difference between Megs and Bob Hope is that Bob entertained the troops standing up whilst Megs entertained them on her back. Or doggie style w/a ball gag in her… mouth.
0
Concrete shoes for Migraine
6
She will see herself as the next Coppola/Spielberg/Scorsese/Jackson and will probably do reboots:-
The Cuntfather
Close Encounter of the Cunty Kind
Mean Cunts Meets Goodcuntas
The Return of the Cunt
But the reality will be more like a reboot of “2 Girls One Cup” to “2 Cunts One Cup”
7
She’s reading the script of “Gone, But Not for Cotton” as we speak.
4
Two Girls One Cup; is that the one where, you know…?
7
How about Debbie does Dallas, or as a tribute featuring her late mother in law Deep Throat. Allegedly
1
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-68040611
They could remake the PG Tips advert.
10
Her directorial debut will be a remake of Dunston Checks In, with Harry as the orangutan
4
How about a remake of forrest gump.
Ginger balls wouldn’t have to act dumb..
“Mama always said, dying was a part of life, she died with a peaceful cock in her mouth”
“Stupid is as stupid does.”
Or harry and the Hendersons, two boring woke cunts droning on for hours about whose the most progressive.
While pocketing money from dodgy regimes.
8
What an own goal for that cunt.
2
Yawn, no one cares…..
The ginger one was awarded yesterday in yank land, for being a ‘living legend of aviation’ or some such nonsense.
Fuck me the cunt didn’t even fly the apache, he was the gunner and that was only a short time.
Stringfellow Hawke had more air time.
8
Evel Knievel was airborne longer than Harry.
7
Even so, he managed to bag 25 raggies (apparently)
5
It beggars belief how that ginger Walt cunt can parade himself as some kind of battle hardened hero, when too many of us know the fucking truth about his time in Afghanistan!
2
Yes, or so he boasted.
There’s more chance of his nanny bagging them than him.
4
Fuck this birdbrain and the whole Royal Family, may they all roast in the fires of Hades the bunch of tit swinging, scrounging no good cunts.
Best Regards
Spanky
8
Poor old Meg, I now feel sorry for her. Born to dysfunctional parents and married and into a family that considered Savile suitable as a marriage counsellor. I wonder if he ever baby sat Harry?
5
That Savile and Charles and Di thing was bizarre.
https://www.scottishdailyexpress.co.uk/news/uk-news/jimmy-savile-close-prince-charles-26650919
7
The whole Savile thing was odd. The intelligence services must have a file on him as think as the yellow pages, it will never see the light of day.
7
I wonder if he had a key to the Big Doughnut in Cheltenham?
‘Jingle Jangle! Now ‘ow’s about that cryptographic cipher then?
Come through lad, Jim’s fixed it for you to play with his drone.’
1
Yes, must be tough being an emotional vampire, who thrives on adulation and creating misery.
3
Narsicisstic to the core
2
As I have said before the Markles are in the Press every day. However, lately there has been a distinct change in the coverage. Instead of the obviously fake stories planted by their PR firm about the sweet this, the sweet that , Aitch’s favorite burger and Archie wanting a copy of the complete works of Maya Angelou for Christmas, the stories are a mix of wonderfulness and despair.
Rachel says they have a pipeline full of exciting projects that her and Hazah the Wonder Chimp are both very exited about. But the only confirmed project is a film adaptation of a novel called “Meet Me at the Lake” and the status of that project seems to be stalled.
What is known is that after hiring Hollywood Uber-agent Ari Emanuel they have signed up exactly ZERO clients and been hired for exactly ZERO projects.
They are scorned and ridiculed in Hollywood and are the butt of countless jokes. The only awards they receive are the ones they allegedly buy like the Death Dealing Duke’s recent Legends of Aviation award.
I really don’t expect Meghantoinette to produce anything in 2024 except more drama, nonsense, and bullshit.
8
Let’s hope for another Kicking from ‘South Park’
5
It’s not just South Park. Even the unknown yoyo who hosted the most recent irrelevant award show took a swipe at them. And it actually, was kind of funny.
He said the actress who played Liz in The Crown was so convincing that Harry called her and asked for money.
6
That’s a cracking joke General
4
A zinger indeed, General.
2
Splendid news, General.
Long may a reign of piss be on them, maybe we should switch them off.
4
I’ll go and see a Megain movie, as long as there is a guillotine.
2
Worth a couple of fucks. But not marrying material.
3
The whore could always do a rerun of planet of the apes with her as the star ape.Not need any makeup.
1
I’m sure that Migraine will love to see Hazza’s ‘Leg End of Aviation’award displayed on the mantlepiece at Monteshitshow.
Perhaps she could direct a documentary about it.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12987269/prince-harry-sympathy-caroline-graham.html
1
Valley Girl = Cunt
2
As an aside BC, I love your posting nom de plume.
0
‘Yeah, so like toadly…’
0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYLosOtsjLM
Emilia is so sweet!
0
How long is the cunt going to be 42? For fuck’s sake, just die already! Her face is caving in, watching her navigating that hideous black gown she couldn’t wear to dance w/Queen John Travolta, staggering on 10 inch heels, grinning to keep up the facade. Honey, there’s always the Alma Tunnel if you want more attention… and take that fucking ginger cunt wiv you…
0