Carol Vorderman (8)

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(And yet this bitch doesn’t mind prick-teasing on Instagram! – Day Admin)

I used to have a soft spot (well not so soft actually) for Carol Vorderman. She struck me as a bit of a laugh, a proper lass.

This was before Vorders, like so many other slebs, started to take herself too seriously, and came to believe that the public actually cared two hoots for her opinions on anything.

Firstly she quit her show on the Beeb ‘by mutual consent’ after making a series of increasingly shrill political comments which threatened to breach Auntie’s sacred impartiality rules (Gary Linekunt says ‘hello’). Then she got into a spat with Minister Johnny Mercer regarding accommodation for veterans.

Now she’s in a row with commentator Shaun Bailey, branding him ‘a misogynist’ after he made a comment to the effect that she’s mainly about ‘bum and boobs’.

Now this isn’t to say that Sweet Carol can’t have an opinion. She can, and she’s free to voice it. On the other hand, so can Bailey, and I’d say that in this instance, he’s actually right.

Vorders has been putting herself out there in the meeja for years, shamelessly promoting herself by constantly flashing her tits and arse, and no doubt earning a nice bit of dosh in the process.

Now that she’s been called out on it on air, she’s branded her accuser a sexist. There’s a bit of a smell of hypocrisy here methinks.

I admit that I still would, but only if she wore a gag. Come on Carol, stick to doing what you do best, namely, trading on your still very attractive (if enhanced) assets and appearing on game shows. You know it makes sense.

You Tube

Metro News

Nominated by: Ron Knee

84 thoughts on “Carol Vorderman (8)”

  1. Who cares what a second hand calculator thinks..

    I can get a brand new one from China for a pound, with less plastic in it.

  2. I fantasise about this old spunk bucket.

    Oh yes I do.

    This political font of knowledge is wearing a short skirt showing off her figure,
    Tottering on high heels that other elderly woman wouldn’t wear,
    I’m above her on a bridge,

    As she looks around to see if anyone is paying attention to her,
    I say sexily

    ” Hey Carol”

    And she looks up at me seductively,….

    And I drop a stone flag straight on her nut.

    Just a calculator with a comedy arse and sense of importance.
    But she certainly gets my imagination flowing.👍

  3. Recently I copped about 10 minutes of that HIGNFY garbage for the first time in ages in which this inflated waxwork was ‘starring’. Not only was it unable to move any facial muscles, but its only body movement was to stir its shoulders up and down in an obsequious chuckle at the comments of oh-so-funny little cunt Hislop.

    I’ve seen more animated ventriloquists’ dummies.

    • Would you offer to offer to operate her if she was a ventriloquists’ dummy, GT? Just thinking of the hand positions rather than the lip movements. Or perhaps both, come to think of it.

  4. I think that you are all a bit fussy.

    I imagine that a woman who has had that much work done to her would definitely have brought her fanny to the attention of cosmetic surgeons.

    She would have had any hanging flaps sorted and the whole thing is neat and tidy.
    Probably with a very nice Brazilian.
    No stubble, all unnecessary hair is permanently lasered away.

    I would certainly cough my monkey custard up her clopper.

    It would be the best 8 seconds of her life.

  5. Eight nominations?

    In my best Life of Brian voice:

    Admin! You leave that Welsh Tart alone!

  6. I remember when some of these celeb irritants we now hate were almost likeable.
    Vorderman was a clearly intelligent woman with a hint of personality.
    Linekunt was bright, breezy and seemingly personable.
    And Stephen Fry was a decent comedy actor.
    What happened?
    Is it celebrity itself?
    Working for the BBC?
    Fawning sycophants making them think they can do no wrong?
    The amount of twitter followers they have being translated into some sort of mandate?
    Money?
    Or is it simply that, like us, they’ve become grumpy old bastards, only in a lefty sort of way.
    Fuck knows, probably all of those reasons.
    One thing I do know is I wish they’d fuck off and shut up!

    • the number of twitter followers people have seems to go the their heads, and not just celebrities. It’s pure tedium hearing the same ‘tell that to your x number followers’.

  7. I calculate when your number comes up carol, you will be remembered as the number women off countdown..

    No not the gorgeous sexy one, the other one. The one that’s trying to hard, in more ways than one.

  8. The only time I hear about this irrelevant piece of shit is on here.
    You obsessed cunts must follow her every move.
    Fuck you all.
    Good morning, the bird bath is frozen solid, a bit like Vordermorts face.

  9. I’ve disliked this chipmunk chops since the day she made Richard Whiteley’s death all about her. Nothing but a plastic, media whòre, spunk bucket.

  10. She was more alluring as the quiet, dowdy mathematician off Cuntdown with her generous norks well covered and her pudding bowl fringe.

    Seems she went through the ‘change’ and embarked on a 20 year mid-life crisis. Plastic tits and arse and a runaway gob like Brian Clough’s.

    Silly old whore.

  13. Most TV and radio airheads spend their entire lives trying to sound intelligent. Vorderman seems intent on doing it the other way round.
    That’s hubris for you.

  16. It’s sad, really.

    She’s just another aging Barbie, desperately clinging to youth.

    She should embrace the grey, and buy some nice crimpolene frocks from Help the Aged. Some 80 denier tights and a pair of Clarks lace-ups, proper job!

  18. I imagine she’s already fitted out for ventriloquism Sam, with a 10-inch O-ring downstairs and an enhanced clitoris modelled on Jamie Oliver’s tongue. A tweak of the clit and lo, Carol’s eyes and mouth open wide.

    I’d like to have seen Ray Alan having a go. Not so much Titch & Quackers, more Tits & Crackers.

  19. Oh carol you are but a fool, darling believe me your sounding like a tool🎶…… just another ‘celeb’ wanting to try and stay in the loop of media adoration….. rearrange this daaahling…ntcu 🤐

  21. If you set fire to Carol, ( one can but dream ).

    She’d probably go up like a large ball of Christmas wrapping paper.

    A kaleidoscope of multi hued little flames, in all the colours of the rainbow, and then some.

    And no, I wouldn’t.

    Good morning 🌄👍

  23. She is a desperate old whore. I’d like to see David Lammy give it to her up the arse (if he is “up” to it) gagging on Sadiq Khan’s little dick the while, before both having to quit politics to spend time at the clap clinic Then she could sell them her fucking home equity insurance policy. Finally she could end up bollock naked in a sack of potatoes on the motorway, with Suxkdick’s tie firmly round her neck..

  24. she can do what she likes….I would still fuck her in the shitter then let her piss on me.

  25. Never could get on with celebrity endorsement, or at least endorsement of a product or service by someone who has no apparent link to or knowledge of the same. Why would I buy a razor on the recommendation of some random black guy who I presume must be a singer or sportsman or something? Why would I bank with Santander on advice from Ant and Dec or buy a car from a company pushed by Ryland the poof? As for our Carol, we are told how clever she is but two thoughts come to mind. Most of us old folks are reasonably good at mental arithmetic, especially when compared to younger folks ‘cos we were trained that way at school in the days before calculators. She went to University of Cambridge. she achieved a third. As our elder observed; “A third? That means she attended the course.”

    • Celebrity endorsement of that kind is cringeworthy; *cheesy insincere grin* ‘here at Inequitable Sun Alliance, we (we??) care about our customers. Here’s a free pen for phoning us…’.

      Get a well known, seemingly trustworthy figure to front up your adverts. Parkinson and Thora Hird were at it for years.

  28. I fancied it about 25 years ago but if she stripped off now that lot would go south faster than swifts and swallows in autumn. The sight of that with her knockers chafing her ankles would destroy my soft-on.

  29. Lord Bailey is right – she’s all tits and ass. But the space between her ears is vacant, dumb, insipid and vain (despite her engineering degree). She’s only fit for the milf section on Pornhub now.

  30. She can’t be that smart as she’s remodelling herself to look like a sex doll you’ll see in 5 years, complete with sucking orifices and in-built LLM chat/dirty talk function.

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