There’s good news and bad news on the electioneering front, fellow cunters.

The good news is that Zippy clone Caroline Lucas, the UK’s only Green Party MP, is standing down at the next election. The bad news is that Eddie ‘you can call me Suzy, big boy’ Izzard is looking to be chosen as Labour’s candidate for the Brighton constituency.

I can see him/her/they/it whatever actually been selected. I mean, what better way for Labour to secure the seat (no pun intended) than to parachute a self-promoting transvestite big girl’s blouse into the constituency? This is Brighton we’re taking about.

And if Izzard does gain the seat at the election, it’ll sprinkle a bit of real Labour stardust and excitement around the House of Commons. Will he turn up in a suit or will she turn up in a skirt and fishnet stockings to raise an environmental issue at PM’s Questions? There’s that real ‘celebrity’ glamour factor to bring into play here. A front bench seat is guaranteed in next to no time.

Go for it Labour. You know it makes sense.

The Argus

Nominated by: Ron Knee