I find the whole thing unbelievable.
I’m sure the people shown on the programme are professional actors being paid for doing that for which they have trained. For those who have not seen it the premise is that several cameras are set up in the consulting rooms in a GP surgery and the consultations, examinations and sometimes minor procedures are recorded for broadcast on television.
Nothing intimate is broadcast but you do see the patients relating their often intimate and embarrassing problems in all their gory detail and frequently how distressed they are. This evening we saw a young man whose foreskin was stuck half way up his bell end. I can’t believe it. I try to imagine if it was me. The idea that my face would be on television for the neighbours to see!
“Hey Gladys, Arfur next door has just been on the telly. He’s got a problem with his foreskin you know.”
No, I’m sorry. I just can’t get my head round it. Link here.
https://bjgp.org/content/64/625/412
Nominated by : arfurbrain
Going on that programme is probably the only chance some people get of seeing a GP nowadays.
35
Been done before….”Embarrassing Bodies” on C4, don’t know it it’s still going and don’t care. People will do anything to get on the telly even if it makes you look like a complete cunt. Just look at Matt “do as I say not as I do” Hancock.
12
Holy shit! That happened to me 25 years ago.
I was boning this bird and my knob used to have a foreskin tighter than my wallet when some charity cunt wants some money.
Anyway, I was going for if and the old foreskin wrapped back around the base of my bell. By the time she had to drive me to the hospital, my strangulated helm was dark purple with blood and the pain was truly extraordinary.
One emergency circumcision later, I had 26 stitches around my helmet.
The memory of it still makes me wince a quarter century later…
17
Good lord ToCE that’s enough to put me off pork scratching’s.
14
Did you finish the job as soon as you returned from the hospital?
I just doubt you’d be put off finishing the job. Ever. I can picture you now, and it’s not a pretty sight, thrusting away, as your bruised, stitched and tattered love truncheon destroys itself, as your arse goes up and down like a fiddlers elbow, to the screams of your kidnap victim, I mean ‘girlfriend’ 😉
11
An me.
https://is-a-cunt.com/2020/11/foreskins/
1
Once got me foreskin trapped under me bell end. Managed to get it out though. Was proper panicking.
I was wanking too much.
Not in the GP’s surgery like.
11
I once ruptured my banjo spring having my way with a Spanish lady.
It was deeply upsetting.
Haven’t touched them since.
8
What Spaniards or banjo strings Tez?
6
Haha those paella flingers.
3
I only know of the term, playing the hairy banjo.
1
There was a song – “The B Side” – by Marty Feldman, which had the line “how to catch a ferret with a banjo string”… Always made me wonder. Also, very HS2-topical, from same song “Euston Station, automation, hypnotizing earwigs with a billiard cue, Noel Coward, Frankie Howerd, half a pound of treacle and the same to you.”
1
I nearly had that trouble during the covid era when hospitals were scared to do anything. My foreskin closed up over my jap’s eye and having a piss was a nightmare. After seeing a pakistani NHS doc who was umming and ahhing,, my family got me a private consultation, which started things moving in the local NHS and suddenly I was booked in for a pre-op assessment.
Funny how quickly they can move when someone with a bit of clout starts knocking heads.
4
So your pre op now CP?
2
I happen to have a huge penis, which means it has an adequately huge helmet wrapping so I have never had this issue
4
They’ve either signed a waiver to be filmed or as you say Arfur,.. Actors.
No way id agree to be filmed at the doctor’s.
Him playing to camera like he’s fuckin Dick Van Dyke.
Forget it.
Ps
Been good if they’d done poor Dr Shipman’s surgery?!
The angel of death
6
Lewisham… and only one ethnic in the header pic?
I take it all the others are in prison for stealing all the pain meds..
Channel five how common, sky arts or nothing for me..
9
No way I would agree to being filmed. You could be unlucky and think that cough you’ve got is just the flu, when in fact, it’s a symptom of cheesy nob and retard syndrome.
Too late, you’ve agreed to being filmed!
You thick as fuck, cheesy nobbed cunt.
6
Test
1
I’d be so embarrassed, I would immediately pull the foreskin over my head and disappear down the side of it.
4
Only a few replies so far, but already more comedy than the entire output of the BBC in the past 10 years.
11
That’s not difficult.
2
If you copped the bender it would be ‘doctor, I’ve got a head ache’
However, the dart board would be examining my erect cock, ‘can’t explain it doctor, it only happens when I come to see you’
10
“Headache you say? Hmm, I think this will require a rectal examination”.
7
Hehe, no doctor, I said headache not a pain in the arse and why have you pulled out your winkie 😂
5
I would also let DartBoard have a play with my Hampton. She might be an NHS tik-tok dancer, but I’d drop my man-porridge into her hair.
11
About 10 years ago I had a hot lady doctor. I had a couple of lesions and a polyp removed from my bladder. When she was breaking the news they were malignant ( which I knew anyway) she put her hand on my thigh which brought a silly grin to my face and I edged forward on the chair to get her hand to go a little further up. I also heard myself saying that’s nice. Unfortunately my Mrs had insisted on coming in with me so I am the only bloke to come out of the doctors with a cancer diagnosis and a severe bollocking. All ok now.
13
I’d only watch it if,no matter the malady,the doctor always said “Yes your test results have come back,you have AIDS”.
Obviously it would be a short but spectacularly funny series.
The daft cunts.
5
I can’t remember the name of the programme, but a few years ago, I saw an episode where a Jack the Lad type of about 18 yrs, having boasted about how many sexual conquests he had had, was being urged to have STD tests and a genital examination. Whilst this was taking place, the doctor engaged him in conversation and mentioned ” as you have one testicle, etc etc”. The bloke immediately became outraged and the next scene showed him back at home shouting at his mother for not telling him he had one testicle. I cannot imagine that level of stupidity.
6
That’s an inordinate length of thigh on display by the dart board. A considerable improvement on Peter Schmeichel and Greta Thunberg.
I’m going to be otherwise occupied for a while.
10
Me: Dr Dr I feel like I’m a supermarket.
Dr: How long have you felt like this?
Me: Ever since I was Lidl.
Fuck off.
23
😂😂😂😂👍🏻
5
Me: Doctor, I think I’m turning into a moth.
Dr: Do you have an appointment?
Me: No, but I was just passing and I saw the lights were on.
15
I’ve never been called to someone with a cucumber stuck up their arse. Never. Not once. Or a vibrator. Never.
11
Long time, no see
7
Afternoon DCI and welcome! Stick around why don’t you? You’re posts are appreciated on here even by those who disagree.
As regards this post, when our elder was working in A&E in Basingstoke one Monday morning the first guy in had got a deodorant bottle jammed up his arse, not one of those little ones made to fit in a handbag but a big one meant for the bathroom! What some people do for fun eh?
8
Alright DCI?
Good to see you back.
@Arfur – probably thinking “George Clooney never pulled air fresheners out of arseholes on ER”.
6
DCI@
What? Never?!
I heard that the paramedics in Brighton have a large magnet as part of their kit to help extract metal items,
Doorknobs, large lorry bolts etc from the lower dimensions of the LGBTQ community?
And they weigh it in at the end of the month for a piss up.
8
Do you reckon they let the gerbils free or have to put them back up the arseholes when they are finished Miserable?
4
Dunno LL,
Tricky legal matter.
The welfare of the gerbil and animal rights
Vs
Removal of property and interference in gay rights.
It’s known as the Gere principal.
4
Welcome back Gene.
5
Welcome back from me as well DCI
4
I can’t watch anything like this due to an extremely low embarassement, cringe threshold. I feel embarassed for others easily.
However, i think i might let miss dartboard have a rummage, off camera of course.
The Lezza (if she is) can give a second opinion.
8
Anyone remember “That’s Life” on a Sunday night? When they would proudly exhibit a root vegetable that looked like a knob!
Now you can watch shite like “embarrassing bodies” where it’s ‘tother way round!!
20
Yes, I remember!
That show was on in about the same time era as The Black & White Minstrel Show. Great, sadly missed days of classic British TV, schedules bursting with harmless family fun & appreciation of the heritage of some of our our more darker-hued brothers & sisters.
This clip is in colour (!?!) …
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06brptp
9
I remember, every week, a set of teeth like Shergar’s, posing as some kvetching old hag from Hendon.,
1
Yes, it was shite.
1
Good afternoon all.
Some interesting posts there, to put it politely! In similar vein I can’t get on with this fashion in recent years for vasectomies. I’ve known a good many men who’ve gone in for this and several who have had problems ranging from being in excruciating pain for days to the procedure simply not working. In one of these programmes a guy was having the “snip.” He was lying there with the doctor doing the job and a nurse assisting when suddenly he shouted out; “Oh Christ that hurt!” Made me shudder I can tell you.
8
Have you never had a protoscopy examination? Fat Reg or Tom Daly can probably help you out.
5
I went out with a bird once who insisted I got one of those clear plastic protoscopes (or whatever they’re called) as she loved me looking in her arse while i was rutting her on all fours. Dirty fucker she was.
Lovely.
6
I had a vasectomy few years back, was sat in the GP’s waiting room when the fella who had just had his done waddled past like he’d been kicked in the bollocks by a Clydesdale pony. My poor balls instantly tried to flee up into my stomach for safety at the sight of it.
10
Imagine being an infant born into certain blood loving cult’s,masquerading as religions.Peering up as a bearded type proceeds to slice the FS off with a scalpel sans anaesthetic ? to say nothing of another certain practice/ritual consisting of sucking the blood from the mutilated member and mixed with red wine.Mohel i believe it’s called.?
Nice introduction to life,excruciating agony and lifelong reduced sexual pleasure.This shit still goes on.
9
Foreskin isn’t a prohibited term.
2
I`m sure `Dr Gay` has had to extract many a foreign object from the `dark passageway` of some of our more fruity patients. Perhaps after initiating said insertion himself.
8
I imagine he always offers to do a rectal examination for enlarged prostate. Even if you’re just seeing him about an ingrowing toenail.
1
I remember I caught my winkie in my zip when I was eight. Jesus Christ that smarted.
3
Eight inches or 8 years old?
2
There’s never a hot minx that wants her arse examined.
*is disappointed*
4
Be worrying if it was a prostate problem.
3
Anyone else craving banging some pans on a Thursday night yet?
Those were the days when life as we know it, ended.
8
When you act like a performing seal cunts will throw fish at you.
3
I never took part. Normal life may have ended for you.but most are getting back on with it.
3
Used to watch the show occasionally, a little boring at times but some interesting cases. Not the worst thing on TV by any means. Poor lad sounds like he just needs a couple months of daily foreskin stretching to loosen it up.
Had exactly the same problem several years ago and the dopey urologist recommended a circumcision after the most cursory examination. Glad I never had one!
5
Steroid creams work wonders for tight foreskin, no need for the scalpel these days.
But in the painful/embarrassing stakes I did have a hosepipe with a miniature camera at the end of it inserted into my rear end in hospital.
Christ that made me sweat, while the doctors and nurses stood around chattering and admiring my innards on a TV screen.
And yes that programme is cringe.
4