.. can be a cunt.
Yes, I know there’s been several iterations of this incredibly irritating phrase on here previously, but quite frankly it is doing my head in more than ever primarily because nearly every is at it!
Some regular YouTube channels I subscribe to in particular have British presenters going into pubs, restaurants and hotels and saying “Can I get your menu please?”
Yesterday while shopping in Egremont I heard a couple of Americans in a petrol station asking the bloke behind the counter “Can we get your car wash?”
And then soon after while walking through the High Street, a chugger comes up to me and says “Can I get your signature for this petition?”
Do these fuckwits actually know the logic behind what they’re actually saying? They’re not actually “getting” anything. That’s up to someone else. So why not say the more natural “Could I have…” instead?
Utter, utter cunts, who deserve nothing more than a good slap around the chops.
Go and get that, fuckface!
Nominated by Technocunt.
Can I get an amen from the isac congregation..
16
can I get the modern world?, can I buggery.
we are all royally fucked.
13
Can I get a latte?
Do you work here? No you don’t , so no , you can’t GET a latte. We can make you one but you have to ask properly and not ask like a cunt .
18
It’s astonishing how many fuckwits use this now. You hear quite educated people in pubs or cafés, “Can I get…”
Nobody used this crap ten years ago. Can I get, Can I get…
You can get fucked.
14
In the same vein Cap’n, people who apparently know no better using the noun “gift” as a verb.
4
‘No you can’t you get.’ Is the correct response.
Just another Mercanism creeping into blighty. Every cunt will be speaking a mixture of ebonics and Yankee doodle soon.
“Pastrami on rye, hold the mayo. Sourdough to go, extra pickle.”
Fuck off, cheese butty or bacon barm, you big puff.
19
have
avoir
haben
avere
tener
ter
miec
Get it right or fuck off, shitheads.
9
I love a good moan, but this is proper looking for something to moan about. Something to admire.
The nominee must be a professional moaning cunt and I can’t commend him enough.
Can I get a round of applause?
6
This sort of mangling of our language is enough for a gentleman to consider becoming a hermit.
Get morning all.
14
Lucky you didn’t permanently relocate to Denmark Techno.
Må jeg få? (can I get) is the standard request when you want something.
The one that really boils my piss in this country is “Give me”. Usually grunted at serving staff by our darker hued cousins. The thick, ignorant cunts.
11
Dole bludgers and junkies here often say “give us”. They then have to wait whist everyone else in the chemist’s is served before they get their Methadone. It’s satisfying to see them twitch and squirm.
4
Not in Nottinghamshire the smack heads always get their green shit first.
2
No, dat bees “gibs muh”.
Gibs muh dat chiggun n sheet.
8
I don’t know if Denmark is the same as Spain Odin.
One way you can tell if someone is foreign is when they say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
Completely unnecessary and not required in Spanish.
‘Quiero un café’….. Literally “I want a coffee”
‘Muy bien’…. Or just ‘Bien’…… Instead of “Gracias”.
1
The Danes are generally very polite. There are scores of ways to say thank you, but no word for please.
I speak an older form of Danish as that is the way it was taught to me.
It also helps to be charming when speaking someone else’s language in their country. Opens a lot of doors.
The Turks and other illegals speak some kind of bastardised Danish, which is irritating to hear.
2
I just had a conversation with a woman who’s affirmative response was always “amazing”
Me: yes please, I’d like to pay my deposit today.
Her: Amazing
Me: how much is it?
Her: £250, amazing.
Me: I’ll just get my credit card details
Her: Amazing
Me: please stop saying amazing
Her: Amazing?
Me: Yes, please say yes or no or thanks or some other affirmation.
Her: ah, amazing, ok
Me: you did it again
Her: (annoying sigh) Like, what, can I get you credit card details?
Me: it’s can I please HAVE your credit card details
Her: amazing. Can I get them now?
Me: Amazing. Get fucked
13
Oh god, is this the next thing? There is a manager at work who is always saying ‘Amazing’ to the most mundane things.
7
This is the cousin of “awesome”. We have to thank the Yanks for this exaggeration fuckwittery.
How was your holiday to Italy?
– It was awesome.
How was the film?
– It was awesome.
How is your piece of toast?
– It is awesome.
10
Is it the yoof doing it just the piss off the old gammons? Why else would someone decide to start talking incorrectly deliberately? Perhaps the Americans can be forgiven in their own country as it is a way of differentiating themselves from us.
6
The rise of the United States over a few generations has been phenomenal and their huge influence on the world has been mostly for the good. An exception is their impact on the English Language which is woeful.
12
Well said. Americanisms suck, to use an Americanism.
4
I protest that!
Another piece of American incoherence….they mean they strongly disagree.
2
But not their fucking bombs and depleted uranium.
1
Can I get a gun? So that I can flash it to any cunt who utters this or any other modern trend the fatherless influencers start. The US influence is a cultural.rot who cant even tell us what a woman is but think kids should vote… sooner we in the UK distance ourselves and fix the rot in our country the better, modernity can fuck itself. We are at risk of s generation who think being a cunt is fine as long as it gets them clicks even If they earn less than a shop worker.
6
Ask 10 ‘yoofs’ at random what they want to be when they grow up, and lots of them say ‘social media influencer’. I shit you not.
Nothing wrong with striving for your dream, but I think it’s because they think they can be rich and famous for being a no talent, shitehawk. Some cunts with no talent whatsoever do pull it off (Kardashian, KSI etc) but these are rare. Thank fuck.
I could understand aspring to be a pro athlete or Hollywood actor, but that takes effort and talent so they can’t be arsed. Yeah you daft cunts, we all can’t wait to watch you in your jizz stained pajamas talking about a video game you’ve just played. You wankers.
Send ’em down the fucking pit.
8
I remember kids wanting to be astronauts, but then The Right Stuff was adapted to that film and it looked like too much hard work.
It’s all the fault if the film.
2
sadly, I still remember wanting to be a train driver. All my Dad’s fault showing me the greatness of British design with the Deltic.
He also took me to the recreation of the Rainhill Trials in the 80s. A hundred years of British locomotive development – none by blacks I seem to recall.
5
Should’ve followed your dream.
The cunts are minted and on strike with full pay half the year.
4
Sadly this is American influence , which is even more pervasive online.
My youngest uses the word trash or garbage sometimes to describe what I would call rubbish.
Obviously I stopped her pocket money permanently to teach her a lesson
16
In experience the phrase when requesting something “may I please have” elicits a friendly smile and better service from shop attendants, chemists and even doctors receptionists or ethnic restaurants.
10
Good nom this, I have to walk out of places if some cunt starts talking this or similar bollox.
Nothing winds me up more than the speak in the coffee shop sketch.
https://tinyurl.com/Coffee-shop-link
Apologies if it’s been posted before.
7
I did cunt vocal fry a while back but itvdeserves highlighting again.
3
I’M fucking sick of(superfluous, ultimately)
“…. being honest ….” and the many variations thereof, constantly..
“.. to be honest …” (start OR end of story)
“I’ll be honest with you ….”
“.. in all honesty ..” (start or end, again)
“To tell you the truth….”
“I won’t lie to you …”
What he fuck does it mean? .. any cunt using the likes is of such dubious trustworthiness that every supposed true thing they say has to be labelled such? ..
It, in this day and age, also means jack-shit … it’s become so throwabout that it basically cancels itself out. Did it (as such a bad habit) originate with that scumbag portion of ‘society’ (caravanny types) that are never honest/forever dishonest … saying it(DIShonestly) all the time?
Keep an ear out if y’ haven’t noticed … it’s everywhere …
6
“Ah can’t laih.”
Unless da bizzies come to ask you what you saw when Sasha Gravy Boat Bonce got dah brap brap, innit?
6
Interestingly Cunt ’em all, I’ve noticed the expression “I wouldn’t lie to you” used frequently in the Leicester area. Not sure what to read into that.
4
Whenever someone says ‘In all honesty’ at the start of a sentence, it generally means whatever follows is a pack of lies.
1
‘Can I get’ is annoying, but nowhere near as annoying as that ‘multiculti English’ or whatever they’ve called it.
“It’s laihk, on skaaaih Sports layh-ers, innit fam.”
I am going to start replying ,”Oh, I’m sorry, I only speak English I’m afraid” to these cunts. I have said “Why are you taking like a black man from Jamaica?” to a ginger honky lad with dreads about 15 years ago. I recall everyone laughed at him, but no cunt had ever pulled him up on it. I laughed at first because I thought he was doing a Jim Davidson ‘Chalkie’ impression. I was horrified when I realised that that is how he talked, the fucking prick. He never spoke to me again. Good. I didn’t want to hear a white lad talking like that in my presence anyway.
Sad thing is, they nearly all speak laihk dat now bruv, innit fam. Safe.
Get to fuck.
Good morning .
14
Its how da mandem talk like now bruv, innit.
6
Preach bruv. Laterz.
3
I had the dubious pleasure of hearing some little white scrote whose balls hadn’t dropped trying to act all gangsta in front of his equally squeaky voiced mates on a bus recently.
The thick cunt used ‘man dems’ so many times he out man demmed himself and nobody had a fucking clue who or what he was squeaking about.
Future Labour politicians in the making there.
5
wiggers I think is the urban-speak definition of them
5
Everyone hates America but they have look like them and fucking speak like them.
Don’t even start me me on Trans and BLM.
All the scum gets blown off the top over the Atlantic.
3
Hamshanks can get fucked. To use their uneducated phrase.
2
What irritates me is when you go to watch an american youtube video and the first thing the American cunt always says is ( Hey what’s up guys ) 💩👎
7
Like, subscribe and hit the bell.
3
I’ve started watching a lot of stuff on YouTube recently but I had one on a couple of days ago whilst I was doing something and after about 10 minutes I realised I didn’t have a fucking clue what he was on about. An extra couple of minutes of listening to it properly didn’t help at all. Bloody American.
3
Can I get a skinny latte to go
5
Even reading the butchered English makes me shudder. It just isn’t cricket.
5
Going forward.
I’m loving/liking that (just now).
Living my best life.
Low-key.
it’s fire/money.
You love/hate to see it.
It is what it is.
Early doors.
Netflix and chill
Vibing
IRL
to Action/actioning
-age on the end of nouns. A habitbof Joss Whedon, writer of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Other disgusting habits;
The high rising terminal.
Peppering sentences with “like’.
Vocal fry.
6
‘Early doors’ I don’t mind.
First person I heard saying that?
Big Ron Atkinson in the late 80s (meaning the first few minutes of a match). For the uninitiated, Ron is an old school ex football manager and ex pundit, whom we sadly no longer have on TV, because he once called a black player ‘a big, fucking, lazy n…ger’ when he thought his microphone was off. He also called primadonna striker, Francesco Totti, as looking like ‘a bit of a twat’ on tv. And that he didn’t understand why we had so many Chinese people, because Chinese women are so ugly he’s surprised anyone wants to shag them.
Get him back on with Lineker and the other pricks.
9
It seems a Northern thing. I think that’s where it should stay. I t sounds bad when said by South Coast mockneys and Essex twats.
0
Big Ron was in no position to mock anyone’s looks or call Desailly lazy. He was superb for Chelsea. His marshalking of the Chelsea defence got them Champions League football while also seeing off Brazil in the World cup final.
Desailly was the complete defender.
0
Perhaps, but Big Ron was hilarious.
Give me Big Ron over Rio Cuntinand any day of the week.
6
Even my love of world cinema is being ruined by septic subtitles. I cherish the occasional educated English subtitled films.
2
Tinto Brass?
2
Remember when a person’s style or appearance was ‘on fleek’?
No wonder none of these dipshit terms disappear within a few years.
1
I got confused there. none of these terms last more than a few years.
Dipshit.
1
Although I do enjoy Kiwi cricket commentators. They don’t seem to realise that some words are swear words.
Recently heard one of them say ‘6! He’s twatted that one right into the crowd!’
They also say ‘crap’ a lot and ‘That took balls’ has been heard too. And ‘bugger’ creeps in now and again
One said (a few years back) that it shouldn’t be called ‘the women’s ashes’ as the history of the ashes is ‘bugger all’ to do with the women’s game.
No names, I don’t want to get them in bother.
7
If only football commentary had a bit of character. They often talked rubbish but at least Hoddle and Keegan had a bit of character. Keegan was hilarious at times. Now it’s anodyne blather about stats. XG? Nah it’s Luigi!
2
‘peng’
Fuck off
3
dats some peng much you get fam.
3
*munch
2
It’ll all be AI soon on YouTube and tv eventually.
I hardly noticed it creeping in but now once I spot it that’s when it grinds.
2
I hate all this shit that’s narrated by AI, it’s totally obvious that, much like Biden, it doesn’t understand what it’s saying, getting pronunciations wrong, strange inflections, pausing in weird places.
4
I took a test to see if I could be Gen Z. I passed but got a few answers wrong.
Apparently woke means ‘politically aware’.
That’s the Dunning Kruger effect in action.
3
Seems that when English is taught in schools there is little time for grammar as teachers have to take into account the fact that the majority or all in some cases are not natives with first languages totally different to the kid they are sitting next to
To save money I suggested that the schools in any city in England if more than 70% ethnic the pupils be taught basic Jafacan, Fuckwit or Cuntish. A command of any of these languages would enable any speaker to a lucrative career in stabbery, thieving, drugs and mindless violence. Soon my theory that the majority of stabbings in Londonstabistan and other cities that interstabby communication is the problem will be proven. So obvious the cunts cannot understand each other if Jafacan fuckwit or cuntish was standardised the number of seemingly point less stabbings would go down. Two chaps walking towards each other one says “good evening sir” but his language is Obankoctol. The other chap hears what he thinks is “ I’m going to bugger your brother” as the second chaps language is an obscure dialect of Wolfe. The flash of a kitchen knife and another statistic.
9