Empathy

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And the lack of it.

Young Cunter stopped talking to me when he was 14 year’s old.
Around the time when he got his first motor scooter and an evening job in a bar.

He no longer needed anything from me or his mother.

He would come home and completely ignore us on his way to his room.
On his way out he would walk past us without a word.

This went on for years.
Just a few words from him if he ever needed something.

Kids go through phases so we were not particularly concerned.
He will grow out of it.

But he is now 31 and didn’t grow out of it.

He moved to the UK and would occasionally use us for a holiday.
He would be pleasant for just a few hours before going into a sulk and ignoring us for the rest of his stay.

He no longer visits and has not spoken to either of us for over two years.

I decided to do some research.

A few of the phrases that he has never used are…. “How are you?”, “What do you think?” and “I’m sorry”.

Armed with this information I searched the Internet.
There are at least 15 and as many as 21 signs of a complete lack of empathy.

How are you?
They are not in the slightest bit interested in how you are, it’s how they are that is the most important.

What do you think?
They don’t care what you think unless it is the same as what they think.

I’m sorry.
This is not in the vocabulary of a person without empathy.
Whatever happens is never their fault so they never have a reason to be sorry.

A list of the symptoms of a lack of empathy is interesting reading.
You will recognise the traits of every millennial.

I don’t think that there is anyone that is totally empathetic.
We all show some of these signs from time to time, but the younger generation take things to the extreme.

One of the reasons for someone to lack empathy is to have no roll model.

Perhaps it was me that caused it?

If it was then I believe that it was reinforced while he was at school.

Kids are never told ‘no’.
They are never wrong.
Failure is just deferred success.
It’s taking part that matters.
You can be whatever you want to be, and all of the rest of the bollocks that is fed to them.

Facebook, which leads them to believe that they have thousands of friends who all think like them.

The reality is that they have never met the huge majority of these people, and if anyone disagrees with anything posted or doesn’t offer enough ‘likes’ they are quickly ‘un-friended’ and blocked.

This is the lack of empathy. I believe that it is present in the last 2 generations.

It will only get worse.

Live bold and bloom

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

48 thoughts on “Empathy”

  2. Is it legal to ride a motor scooter and work in a bar at the age of 14?
    Things must have changed a lot since my daughter was that age.

    • In Spain, those year’s ago it was legal to ride a motor scooter.
      Employers were not bothered about age.

      The legal age for a scooter licence has gone up to 16 now, I believe.

  4. Damn, that’s tough…and I’m sorry to hear it, TAC.
    May I enquire, were you strict with the boy ehen he was a tot?
    I was super-strict with both of mine (I’ve eased up now they’re grown) and never allowed either of them to show me even the faintest whiff of disrespect and now, even though they don’t live with me, when the come to see me, they’re polite and respectful, quite “matey” with me.
    I told both of them when they were each 10ish that if they ever spoke to me disrespectfully, even once, I’d have their guts for garters and would absolutely enjoy smashing their phones and/or games consoles to pieces with a hammer right in front of them if they stepped too far out of line.
    Kids are monsters if you indulge their youthful idiocy.

    • Morning Thomas.

      I would have thought the threat of turning up at the school gates at home time wearing a Liberace style rhinestone-encrusted jumpsuit with your gloriously flamboyant tach would have been enough.

      • Morning LL, I trust you’re well?
        Alas, the ‘tache had to be temporarily sacrificed as I’m trying to woo a lady.
        But you’re right. My elder son’s friends, apparently, said to him, “your Dad looks like a bender”, simply because they saw me in one of my floral outfits. Maybe they were concerned I’d try and bum them.

      • Aye Thomas. If some bloke with a Freddie Mercury tache wearing a floral shirt innocently asked me, “Is this the way to Morrison’s?”, I’d knock the cunt out, just in case he was one of them Stephen Port/Barrymore’s type of bumboy.

        Can’t be too careful. That lad’s right. Maybe why you were having trouble pulling? Perhaps the ladies thought you were an ‘interior designer’.

        You’ll be knee deep in cunt if you look like a real man. Simply drop the tache and wear tight denim shorts, sunglasses and a vest like me.

      • @ Thomas. I see that predictive text has fucked up again.

        Although, how kidnap gets predicted as woo is beyond me.

        Why would you shave your ‘tache off to kidnap a lady ?

        I think you’re quite unhinged.

        Good afternoon.

  5. Lacking empathy? The pathetic cunts are always crying about the w*gs, the poofs and the trannies. Of course they don’t know any of those people so it’s fucking easy. Empathy for people you know is a different game.

    • He sounds spoilt Artie?
      The callous little bleeder.

      I used to argue like fuck with my dad as a youth,
      Part of a man growing up and asserting himself.

      My lad was great until he went to ‘ Uni’.

      We disagree on everything.

      He doesn’t phone
      Doesn’t visit
      But worse he has never once asked about his grandad who has cancer.

      He was due a small amount of money at turning 23, (few grand)
      Off my parents.

      I told them he didn’t deserve it and to keep it for themselves. And they did.

      He also won’t get anything in my will.

      It’s hurtful, the treachery of a child,
      But in the long term….

      Fuck em

      • Same with my sister Miserable.

        We have never got on but its the way she cut my mum and dad off dead. This is getting on for about ten years and not a word. Total bitch.

      • Talking of wills, I remember every cunt kicking off when Anna Nicole Smith married that 90 year old billionaire in a wheelchair.

        “Gold digger!”

        “Harlot!”

        Yup. True. However, she spent a year or so sucking off a corpse, more or less.

        I say she deserved that money. That took some doing I bet. His family sounded like a bunch of money grabbing cunts anyway.

        Fair play I say. If my family were cunts and I was a billionaire, I’d go out surrounded by big tittied ‘models’ like Anna Nicole fighting over who gets to suck my cheesy old man’s cock, as I snort huge lines of Colombian marching powder off their tits, on some paradise island.

        And I’d do a video for the will and invite all the family (if they were cunts, which they aren’t) after I croaked.

        I’d show my arse and say, “The slags get the lot. You lot can have this!”, and fart in a bottle. My solicitor would then open and give them the bottle, telling them to take a sniff each.

      • Be careful there MNC.

        If you leave a child out of your Will they can legally challenge it and they will win. The precedent has been set.

        You can make them a ‘pecuniary gift’ of say a couple grand to head that off

        Trust me I have first hand experience of this.

      • Cheers CmcCF👍

        Because of his outrageous behaviour he won’t get a share of my scrap metal fortune 😄

  6. As I have got older I have lost the ‘milk of human kindness’. Most people are cunts. They can’t help it . It is just human nature. Losing empathy is the natural consequence of a lifetime of experience. Who wants to empathise with cunts? Empathy is just a form of mental illness. It can wear you down.

  8. Whilst I largely agree with your point, this behaviour can be attributed to people on the spectrum. It just doesn’t occur to me them to ask, and they don’t enjoy social interaction.
    I don’t think it’s reserved to the last 2 generations either. There’s plenty of cunts in all generations who watch stupid cunt reality TV all day who think acting like a complete love muscle is how they’re going to be popular, and they don’t give a fuck about upsetting anyone.

  9. My lad (the Viking child) is a selfish little fuckface.

    It’s his 18th next week and I’m flying out to Denmark to launch 10,000 DKK in his lap, take him out for his first legal beer and then fucking off to Roskilde to get properly wasted with some old mates for the rest of the weekend.

    I would spend longer with him but to be honest, he couldn’t be bothered to show up for my Mum’s funeral because and I quote ‘It would make him sad’. Not half as sad as it made me and I could have done with the support.

    He’s in for one massive surprise when I kark it because I’m leaving everything to the local dogs home.

    • I truly feel for you guys who’ve got such graceless offspring.

      I’m lucky enough to have a marvellous wife, a wonderful daughter and two fantastic grandkids.

      I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it, I’m just grateful to the gods.

      • Never had any kids with the first psycho career woman Mrs (thank fucking God!), and the current Mrs N could never have kids. Neither of us regrets not having them and neither of us wants one.

      • I was thinking along exactly the same lines Ron. We disagree and argue with our daughters about many things but at the end of the day we agree to differ and certainly do not hate one another. Over the years they have cost us a fucking fortune and now in their thirties the still regularly cause us hassle, but there you go, that’s life. We wouldn’t be without them.

  10. I have 2 lovely sons who respect me. Partly due to us all having fuck all and they thoroughly understand.

  11. Fuck knows what to do with the little bastards.

    Two daughters and a wife…that Gents,is a lot of hormones for one house.

    Nearly ale time I think..

  12. This reminds me of that Andrew Gold tune ‘Lonely Boy’.
    It should have been called ‘What a Little Cunt’.

  13. Off topic, but thoroughly enjoyed myself at Burnely last night.
    With all my old mates and it was like a cup tie.
    That daft goalie finally started to earn his money,
    and that old bugger Jonny Evans doing a ‘Beckenbauer’.
    A splendid away trip.

  14. An ‘intervention’.

    Just show him the Nom.
    And say ‘that’s how I honestly feel.’

    Prepare to be totally rejected.

    But at least you will have honesty, clarity in the relationship.

  15. One of my nieces once said to my brother “I cannot argue with you you’re not intelligent enough”. Different story next morning as brother took the front wheels off her car. Families endless source of fun.

    • The internet is to blame. Kids these days get their information through the net and you can only hope they’re not getting it from the likes of Andrew Tate.

      Back when i had questions, i would go to my old man for answers.

      Couple that with the silly notion that the older generation is responsible for Climate change and you have young people with no respect.
      The schools are too busy forcing the rainbow agenda on to kids instead of actually teaching them to respect their parents.

  17. I can relate to this…I can empathise with Young Cunter, and that is because I have little empathy myself. Paradoxical, eh?

    To take a couple of points:
    “One of the reasons for someone to lack empathy is to have no roll model.”
    I had an excellent role model in my father. Trouble was it was a cunt role I was being aimed at. Another aspect of this was that (contradictarily) the old man didn’t include me in his activities, and if I showed an interest in them, he steered me into something else which didn’t compete with him. Except for watching cars zooming round and round Brands Hatch, which bored me senseless. TLDR: It’s not that simple.

    ” I believe that it was reinforced while he was at school.

    Kids are never told ‘no’.
    They are never wrong.
    Failure is just deferred success.
    It’s taking part that matters.
    You can be whatever you want to be, and all of the rest of the bollocks that is fed to them.”

    I went to an old-skool boarding school, where I was treated like shite by all and sundry. This was normal for kids who didn’t fit the cunt role (see above). I was continuously told “no”, and no-one flinched from telling me how much in the wrong I was. The message from on high was that “you can be whatever you want to be”….as long as it involves sitting in an office for the rest of your working life and joining the Old Cunts’ Association. Not that simple.

    “This is the lack of empathy. I believe that it is present in the last 2 generations.”

    I don’t. I subscribe to the notion that there is a continuous spectrum from empathy to psychopathy, and that this variation in human nature is an evolutionary response to two basic pack-predator requirements: 1. To love and nurture your pack members, and 2. To kill members of other packs. (See also “natural immutable racism”) And it’s always been there.

    And when I say “sorry”, I’m acting.

    • A thought provoking post Komodo. My father tried hard to interest me in the things which he liked to do. He was into fauna of various kinds. He raced pigeons and raised budgerigars and other small birds. He was an angler (They call it coarse fishing I believe?) and used to take me and my brother with him to practise the pastime. It drove me mental, concentrated fucking boredom. The French have the word “ennui” which I think is appropriate. I share your opinion of Formula 1, almost as boring as angling. But I rate my father. As a working class lad in the Black Country his education was rudimentary but he appreciated that education was the key to raising yourself up. Thus in no small part thanks to his encouragement I passed the eleven plus exam and went to grammar school. The mandatory uniform requirements for attending such cost him a month’s net wages. Older cunters will be aware that this was the method used in those days to keep working class kids out of the grammar schools.

      Occurs to me I’ve been sliding off topic. Empathy is one of those words I struggle fully to understand, like charisma. WTF is charisma? A bit like reading stuff by Susie Orbach; the words she uses are in my vocabulary but fuck knows what point she is trying to make.

      • Good contribution, Arfur. I hope your education was some use to you and fitted your requirements, well done. My father also encouraged me to do coarse fishing, but the USPs for me were (a) getting outdoors and (b) he didn’t do it. Lost interest in it when I left home and never did it again.

  18. Empathy is a feeling of being alongside other beings who share your goals, fears, strengths, ambitions.

    If your kid isn’t on the same page, or even reading the same book, so what?

    Let them go.

  19. Pretend empathy is far more dangerous than a lack of empathy. Pretend empathy is the currency of the politician, TV personslity and Social media addict. I know people who don’t have a lot of empathy, but you know where you are with them. Some are born like it, some are made by life experience (I am a bit of the latter), but they are usually decent people, just a bit harder to like sometimes.

  20. I had Covid last week.

    So I moved out for a week as my daughter had an important exam . Was fucking miserable.

    Didn’t even ask how I was at any point until she text me to ask for some money for clothes

    Depressing to say the least

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