The Notting Hill Carnival

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I would like to serve up a rice and peas, reggae sauce infused cunting for this shit fest that is heaped on West London this time of year.

I used to run a shop on Westbourne Grove once, slap bang in the heart of the action. You literally had no fucking choice but to board up everything at least five days in advance, so as to avoid the (inevitable) looting and robbing.

Then the carnival itself, I could go on forever, so I’ll try and keep it brief:

If you are anything other than a shade of brown expect to get hissed at through teeth at every corner. And offered really shit quality weed and/or other drugs, possibly at the same time.

If you are unlucky to have a apartment in the area that hasn’t been barricaded (as my other half did once), expect various cunts to try and let themselves in. Normally to use the toilet. If they can’t access your own facilities expect your garden/the street outside.

As for the robberies / stabbings (a given), trust me – a lot more goes unreported.

The celebrated sound systems all sound utterly shit, with so much bass and sound clashing between floats that it is just a fucking sonic mess. The kids bit is actually not bad but expect not to see anything because of the crowds.And the cuisine.. fuck me. Have you actually looked at goat curry close up? Hint: You don’t see many urban foxes about in that area in August.

What really has grated my gears though is that when anybody speaks the truth about the above, such as Mayoral Candidate Susan Hall, they get shot down in the name of ‘diversity’ by the usual suspects:

Guardian

Nominated by Coño in Spanish.

More on this shit fest from Lord Cuntingford below

I haven’t been watching the nominations page on this esteemed organ, so not sure if anyone has cunted this year’s Notting Hill Carnival.

I cannot believe that this festival of violence, thievery and sexual depravity is still allowed. I saw some videos of mostly black persons hanging on a bridge and, what I believe, is called twerking (this involves two blacks, with the female grinding her bottom into the groin of the male of the species, and involves much whooping to other couples involved in the same). Seriously, I thought I was watching a zoo. The Tory London mayoral candidate has suggested moving it to a park, away from Notting Hill – based on what I was watching, a safari park may be more suitable.

Also, some senior copper (apparently also black – because white people are no longer allowed to be in any senior position) says something like he understands the significance of the event to the carribbean community, but can’t accept the violence towards his officers. Well matey, this is carribbean culture- violence, thievery, producing offspring with no responsibility.

If this was an annual event of almost entirely white people, then I’m sure it would have been shut down years ago.

Bbc news

Youtube

120 thoughts on “The Notting Hill Carnival”

  1. One the tellybox last night there was some conversative mayoral hopeful slapper saying the Carnival should be moved to a park – fucking good idea.

    However, I say no!

    I say ring fence the cunts in when it’s proper going, gas them and them cook em up in a pot of gumbo.

    • To add – if I was mayor, this is how I would solve London’s knife crime – all in one day and then sit back and stroke my Nobel Peace award.

      • I’d reward them…100 quid for every confirmed fatal stabbing.
        Actually, £100 is far too much.
        £15 and a Zinger tower burger.
        Sub-human savages.

      • Double bubble. Less rude-boys on the streets = less KFS, Chicken Cottages, etc. greasy filth on our high streets.

      • Still too expensive.

        Round the chippy, stabbed cunts up in a razor wire surrounded field and air drop in one KFC family bucket and one pair of the latest Nike air clown shoes in a stupid colour.

        Let their ‘cultcha’ and Darwin sort out the finer details.

  2. I see the BBC are demonstrating their impartiality again. ‘Tories’ want to move the Notting Hill Carnival.
    It’s not just them is it? Old Bill would rather it be in a fenced off park with proper security. So would many local home owners and businesses. But that is interfering with their culcha innit?
    I’d go further.
    If they can’t behave, fucking ban it.

  3. I thought it was another George Floyd protest riot.
    As for the twerking, the stench must have been unbearable.

    • It was.

      I live close by and on the Monday, the acres of cellulite on display and general stench of sweaty sheboon was nauseating.

  4. They’re now talking of having this abomination banned because of the stabbings.
    It already was banned when it first started, but so as not to paint the police in a bad light, it was allowed to continue, in spite of the fact it was unlawful.
    Do you all remember the picture of the copper dancing? That was a year after the police tried to put a stop to the unlawful gathering, and encountered a load of violence. They tried to make allowances and where has it got to? A load of criminal cunts making lives a misery for all concerned.
    Give ’em an inch and they’ll take a mile.

  5. They ought to combine it with a Pride event. Get rid of a few deviants.

    Every fucking year the cops and the labour politicians under report and cover up the sheer savage brutality that goes on.

    Chiggun.

  6. Great noms.
    If you’re unfortunate enough to be a local resident, like I were briefly a few years back, the Notting Hill carnival is nothing short of hell on earth. It starts with you having to move your car out of the area for 3 days – after having paid a fucking fortune for an annual parking permit – then you have to be prepared to dig in and not leave your house for the ensuing weekend as the streets are practically impassable, and even if they weren’t nobody in their right mind would go out anyway. If you plan to go away you need to leave before the mayhem commences because the local bus and underground services are cancelled, so you’re unable to get in or out during the “celebrations” which include cunts pissing, shitting, puking, fucking and sleeping in your front garden. Many local businesses and residents, if they can afford to, board up their ground floor doors and windows.
    With sound systems on every corner the noise is indescribable and your windows vibrate constantly – you can forget fucking sleep. If you have a dog (we did) then you’re unable to walk it as the local parks/green areas are locked /boarded up even if you were able to fight your way there. Also there’s broken glass and chiggun bones strewn everywhere which, while a cursory cleanup is undertaken afterward, remain for weeks on end, so walking your dog is risky, there are numerous dog choking incidents and paw cuts reported by the local vets.
    It would appear this year has been worse than ever – 8 reported stabbings, 2 men in hospital, one in critical condition, 275 arrests, more than 50 cops assaulted, kicked, punched, spat upon, bitten, head-butted and pissed on, etc.
    2 million cunts visiting in a such a small area… if it has to take place why not move it to a contained venue like the 42 acres that comprise Buckingham Palace gardens? After all, the Royals love all this multicultural shit, sat in front of fucking savages with bones through their noses prancing about in grass skirts and stuff. They could hold it as a tribute to our late Queen and her precious Commonwealth, Gawd bless her…
    Thank fuck we are now well out of it.

    • You need to stop speaking the truth and “get with the programme”. What I admire most about The Shitfest attendees is that they all seem so intelligent.

    • He is just showing off the new knife he bought JP..

      A bit like when you get a new car, come for a test drive.. he is taking the knife on a test drive…. though someone’s lung..

      • That poor sod whose front was being used as a public toilet, the stench must have been unbelievable.

        If I couldn’t find a way to block it off, I’d go and collect a big bag of dog shit in advance and spread it all over the floor.

        It couldn’t possibly smell any worse.

      • If that was my front garden and that white bird came in and had a dump and piss in front of me I would have had a fucking lovely wank over that

  8. I have too much bile and anger in my body regarding c0 o0 n fest to comment on this in a constructive way, so I’m gonna sit here for the comments and channel my rage through them.

    Afternoon one, afternoon all.

    • liked that Geordie. Made me chuckle.

      I was reading a Grauniad article for provocation some years back, written by some limp wristed, white beta cuck harping on about the ‘culture and atmosphere’.

      Sounded like he was having a great time. Right up until he was mugged at knifepoint for his brand new iPhone.

      The stupid cunt.

    • Years ago you would have chuckled away at such satire quite merrily.
      Nowadays you have to remind yourself that it’s a pisstake.

  10. There is only one ‘carnival’ and that is in Rio de Janeiro.

    The police can whine about being assaulted and even bitten by these animals but they took the knee to some of these very same cunts three years ago in an act of grovelling submission so no wonder they have no fear or respect for the law.

    • Good point LL.
      If anyone had told me to take the knee to these cunts, they’d still be shitting their own teeth out now.

  11. I hope cunt Khan charged the chimps the new clean air tax.. all that defecating, farting and belching.. worse than a 1997 ford transit.

  12. When I’m appointed Home Secretary my first act will be to appoint a very special Patrol Group that will gently and sensitively help restore order during this cultural festival.

    What they will do is man forty armoured cars which will vigorously drive straight through the crowds multiple times until I order them to stop..

    After about three months.

    This carnival is a disgusting cesspit that needs eradicating.

  13. All the supposed “academic” nıg-nọgs are quick to claim that the negative things that happen at the carnival are not representative of black culture.
    What…violence, stabbing, mess and lady chimps shaking their stupid, massive fat arses for no apparent reason?
    I’d say it was perfectly representative.

    • What makes me laugh is that the whole carnival is meant to represent bleck culture – cunts.

    • “Academic n1gn0gs” – ha! A close friend moves in academic circles, and not one of their friends is of a hut-building persuasion.

      What did they ever contribute to the civilised world, though? I’m genuinely intrigued about the answer to this question.

      • Buzzfeed made a video about all the things invented by black Africans, but it was swiftly debunked and mocked.

        After that and some other low quality journalism/activism, they had massive lay-offs as investors pulled out their money.

        A similar thing has happened to Vice, which faces bankruptcy.

        and Gawker media…

  14. All the natives have a god given right to celebrate their Caribbean heritage, I have to agree with them… Fuck off back to the Caribbean.

    Many conclusions from the ‘mostly peaceful’ carnival.

    1.There are far too many blacks in London
    2. There are far too many blacks in the UK
    3. There are far too many blacks.

  15. I have too much bile and anger in my body regarding chimpfest to comment on this in a constructive way, so I’m gonna sit here for the comments and channel my rage through them.

    Afternoon one, afternoon all.

  16. Chard, Bromhead and the boys would have soon sorted these miscreants out. ,🇬🇧

    ” At one hundred yards…….. ”

    Fucking savages.

    Good afternoon.

      • Yeah not bad Jack,
        Busy at moment,
        Grabbing it while it’s there.£££

        I couldn’t imagine anywhere I’d less like to be than Notting hill carnival, can you?

        Give me a quiet day in the Peak District 👍

      • Forgive me if I’ve posted this before but when I was working I felt a growing fear through the summer that I would be scheduled on call that week and on the Monday evening of the carnival Tesco’s in Ladbroke Grove would raise a fucking call. Never actually happened thank god. I think I would just have gone sick.

      • @MNC. The next few days are hectic for me. I’m cramming in two weeks work into one and a bit, as we’re heading off to the Cotswolds next week, for a heady seven days of walking, boozers and tea shops.

        You get the cash while you can.

        You should spend most of it on women and booze.

        Then just waste the rest.

        LOL.

  17. An idea.Send them to Jurassic Park instead.Let the hungry dinosaurs eat them all.🦖🦖

  18. It’s also worth mentioning that if this level of outrageous violence took place at “Glasto” then it would have been permanently banned decade’s ago.

    PS “Glasto” is full of cunts.

    • Then let’s combine the two and let them beat the living daylights out of each other. Last whitey and darkie standing get 1 mill each – that would solve a lot of todays issues in the UK…

      • 1 mill?

        is that millilitres of chemical cosh?

        That’s what the Notting Hill Stampede needs; an aerosol form of powerful anti-psychotics and sedatives.

        no need to use it at Spastonbury; those cunts are already sedated by the popular media.

    • Don’t tell me you only just noticed, Unkle.

      They had St. Greta there, but still left behind a load of unrecycable shite, when they weren’t flying in by helicopter, or private jet from wherever, followed by helicopter.

      Don’t preach to me, until you practice what you preach, you wankers.

  19. It’s chiggun time again!

    The notting Hill Carnival is tolerance of the intolerant and the uncivilised.

    It’s not the necesarily colour, it’s the fucking culture.
    You dont see obese white women at Glastonbury shaking their arses and gunts.
    The apologists saying the violence doesn’t represent black culture are lying; rap in most of its forms glorifies gang culture and violence it its lyrics, as well as misogyny and homophobia, but the wokies ignore it and scream about the imaginary ‘far right’.

    I hope the white liberal apologists for this shit-flinging get bitten by a crackhead with AIDS.

  21. You dare not question it if your in politics or the media.
    It’s sacred.

    Monkey Mecca.

    It’s meant to celebrate the culture of the west indies.
    stabbing, mugging, theiving, etc.

    Every 5ft cockroache in the London area attends.
    Jesus, what a shower of shite.

      • He was. Surrounded by his very own armed police protection squad… On Children’s day.

        Say no more.

      • Did he bus in, with his PPS.?
        ( Personal Private Security)
        His dad was a bus driver, dontcha know?

        Common little man. Only common people make a selling point about their background.

      • Little known fact LL all black kids are born reverse caesarean.

        They chop their way out like a chestburster in alien.

  23. The police should go in with dogs.
    Lots of dogs.
    They don’t like dogs.

    I was a copper I’d demand respect off them.

    UNGOWWA!!

    I’d roar setting about them with truncheon and pepper spray,
    Then slip the leads of Ron an Reggie the German shepherds.

    Big Bwanna police man.

    ” hey lips, move along”

    ” pick that up curly”

    ” what d you say boy?”

    ” say that again mgumbi and I’ll get Wayne Couzens on your fat arse”

    • My kind of policeman.

      And no, I’m not going to say police person.

      Female police have no place in a thugs v police melee.

      Unless it’s on the outskirts, applying plasters.

      • it’s not like the women in the police are tough birds either. 5- foot lesbian pixies who get offended by autistic teenagers.

  25. Why doesn’t that greasy Paki shit stain charge them for violating his Ultra Low Education Zone?

  26. Same thing happens in America I believe on their Caribbean Day or something like that.

    Now, I just can’t for the life of me work out what the common denominator is.

    Is it racist to say blacks and whites can’t really coexist? Ok, not all blacks ooh look at Thomas Sowell etc, but I’m talking about as a society.

    And we should celebrate the NH Carniva, say our ‘betters’.

    Fuck off. If I want to recreate this fantasy world, I’ll take some crack, beat up my hoe then leave her because she got preggers. Then stab some cunt and rob da chiggun shop. Finally, I’ll resist arrest then sue the rozzers for giving me PTSD.

    • I thought all of them where african CB?

      Snatched up by half a dozen Georgian honky explorers who marched in and enslaved millions of them..

      Hey… has someone been telling me porkies..

  27. Maybe I’m an optimist, or simply a stupid fucker, but I can sense a slight change in the air.
    No, I don’t mean those jerk chiggun farts emanating from their fat lazy arses.
    Rather that this year the BBC didn’t pass it off as ‘mostly peaceful’, they actually made a grudging, half hearted attempt at reporting something near the truth.
    Old Bill said that it was fucking disgusting and seemed to be happy to report the figures of arrests and injuries.
    Mind you. It’ll be interesting to see how many actually end up being prosecuted. You can bet your life we won’t hear fuck all either way.

  28. The London egg and spoon festival of dealers and muggers, my cousin went to this, can’t for the life undstand why any fucker would want to go to this spangled turd of a festival

  29. I went 14 years ago and met some nice Brazilian ladies. As for the rest of it, crowds, many glaring at you, mountains of rubbish, overpriced ‘food’ and Red Stripe. In the evening, after I’d left, I saw videos of plod wagons struggling to get down the streets as they were full of broken glass.
    Obviously all the fault of right wingers.

  30. OT.

    I’ve had KFC for tea, that’s dinner for non Yorkshire folk.

    And I’m not sorry. Me, dog and cat have had a delightful meal. It’s my twice a year guilty pleasure, and there’s a drumstick in the fridge, for tomorrow.

    Skin and coating for the dog/cat. Meat for a sarnie, for me.

    • Used to love KFC in the ’70s, me.
      A ‘standard’ which consisted of two pieces of chicken and a portion of french fries.
      Gravy extra.
      Every Friday night after a skinful.
      Scrummy!

    • The only thing from that chain I can eat is the mini-fillets. I find the pieces and their burgers dry and the chips like greasy, soggy school chips cooked in old oil.

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