iPhones [3]

Posted on by


I have been Android up until about a month ago. Because of my line of work in home tech and 99.8% of my clients having Apple phones, I had little choice. FaceTime is necessary on occasion and I need to know what they are experiencing on their devices so I need one like theirs. Anyway, after a month getting used to it, I am underwhelmed.

It’s my belief that nearly all iphone users have always been and don’t know what they are missing. It’s not anything huge that’s the issue but a number of little things that bug me. I need more taps to get what I want where before it was smoother.

My last phone was $350 and did a wonderful job for 3 1/2 years. This one was $1100 and was no longer an option. My wife switched a year or so ago and loves it. Everyone told me I would love it. I feel like a sell out but oh well. FaceTime is a great option I must say.

The biggest complaint I have is how it keeps making my screen brighter on its own. I can’t just set and forget.

I won’t go into more detail but I’d like to hear input from fellow cunters who may have experience with both iOS and android.

I think a mid level Samsung is all I would ever need but alas we must adjust as needed to best serve those who pay good money for our services.

Nominated by : Meat Curtains

55 thoughts on “iPhones [3]”

  1. I don’t allow Apple products in my house. End of.

    Android’s a cunting bastard too.

    If the management at BlackBerry had actually paid attention to the market and acted like grown up professionals, I’d still have a great ‘phone with a real keyboard. Cunts.

  2. I’ve got a cheapo £10 Nokia pay as you go for work. Its battered and scratched, been dropped and trod on, chewed by a dog but it still does what I need; to call or text cunts..sorry, valued customers.

    • Right On LL
      I too have cheapo… does exactly the same as yours – makes phone calls and texts! It’s aphone for fuck’s sake. In fact I have deliberately had it barred from internet connection- I don’t want any of that shit. If I want to email or surf or do some internet banking, I use my PC. And call me paranoid, but if it is banking, I do it via an ethernet connection!

    • Agreed LL, I’ve got a basic Nokia payg, it makes and receives calls and texts, that’s it.
      Don’t want anything else, or might become like all of those zombified cunts who walk around all day with head down and right arm up.

    • I’m currently using my most expensive ever phone, a £110 Motorola on PAYG for around £10 a year. The odd text but mostly listening to my ripped cd’s when out and about. I have a 15 year old iPod which I would still use if it wasn’t for iTunes, fucking hate that software. I’m waiting for the day when Apple devices can only be charged using left handed electricity from an Apple branded Van Der Graaf generator at £5k a time.

  3. I fucking hate anything made by Apple. Really cunty, 2076 passwords to open different shite to just get into the fucking thing and constant intrusive updates.

    Oh and only use proper rip off, easy to break (iPad leads break if you look at them) Apple peripherals or we’ll fuck your gear up and void any warranty.

    Fuck Apple, the rip off incompatible piss merchants.

    Very user unfriendly too in my experience.

  4. I can’t agree on this one Meat Curtains.
    I had Android phones in the past . I found everything sort of worked on them, The apps all looked like some geek made them in his bedroom. And as i’m a huge music fan i could not find any decent Android music app that comes anywhere near Apples music app.
    My only gripe is that iphones are so overpriced

    • I am locked into Apple iPhones as a relative of Mrs. Wanksock works closely with them. We had iPhone 5s up until last Christmas and I swapped them for 12s. I bought mine from Cash Converters for £350 about half of what they wanted in Tesco. Both were Grade A which means no marks at all on them and virtually unused.

    • Try an Xperia 5 mk IV, Fenton.

      Out of this fucking world.

      knocks spots off anything Apple will ever produce.

  6. I fucking hate all Apple products.

    My mother was forever ringing me. Never to ask how I was, just wanted to ask me questions about her fucking Mac.

    How the fuck should I know mother? I don’t own one and nor would I want to. Go and ask the sales cunt who told you it was the best thing since sliced bread you gullible cunt. Besides, haven’t you got a piss and biscuits cruise to go on or something? You haven’t been on holiday for at least 36 hours.

    Shes probably bothering the other souls stuck in perpetual damnation about her cunting Mac as I type.

    • I have a android phone.
      I get one every year.
      Ok I suppose,
      Wilful though!
      And has epilepsy.

      But it does for Banking,emails, txt and looking at Motherless

    • Same here mate. Fucking thick cunts used to call me asking for help with apple shit.
      ‘What did I tell you last time you fucking moron?, I have absolutely zero interest in your overpriced, underdeveloped, rip off piece of shit Rishi’.

  9. Sorry, please don’t spank me too hard but I had to cunt this cunt:

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-66257579

    Cunt was sacked and awarded £330 odd K – the payment was for loss of office – what an absolute mincing fucktard.

    Fuck my bottom while I stand on my hands, why do we pay people for failure. If I was effectively severed (sacked) I’d get a P45 and a fuck off.

    Fucking bum bandits, all of then.

    • Those civil Serpents are all traitors.Double oven and microwave afterwards.Shit biscuits.

  10. I have a Scottish one, it’s called a aye phone..
    Totally incomprehensible, and already battered.

  11. I’ve had both iPhones and Androids, and I like both. Both have their plus points and downsides.

    I prefer Macs to Windows, and I’ve used Macs for 15 years or so now.

    Windows just makes me an even angrier, sweary little man. That said, my old MacBook Pro (the one with that fucking stupid touchbar) was a truly hateful device, and my new MacBook Air knocks it into a cocked hat.

    The iPhone X I had was so unreliable, I pawned it off and reverted to my old Samsung Galaxy S8 for a bit. It’s still in a drawer somewhere at home. Absolute tank of a phone.

    That said, I couldn’t give a toss about technology, really. I just like things that work and work smoothly.

    If a UX tecchie has designed the interface of a device as it is, who am I – someone who can barely switch his own laptop on – to tweak about with it? It’s like taking a bottle of ketchup to a nice restaurant thinking you know better.

    That’s why I don’t care as much for Androids as I do iPhones. And the constant submenus piss me off. If someone wanted to gift me a new Samsung Galaxy S23, I’d not say no, though.

    Ultimately, apart from the Mac vs. Windows thing, I couldn’t care less.

    We’re all adults, too. It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, does it?

  12. I use an ancient payg Samsung for phone calls, as its internet capabilty is near stoneage quality. For internet use, I have a Samsung J3 that I found down at the tip, which I use without a sim card and just ponce off free wifi.
    Fuck contracts and all that shite.

  14. Apart from my cheapo big-numbers dumb phone for geriatrics – used for actual communication – I have never bought a new phone. For drone controllers I bought refurbished Androids (Samsung Galaxy Tab2 and Xiaomi something or other), and they’re just fine with sunshades on. They only have to run a couple of apps. Ebay is my friend.

  17. Apple are just a better product in my opinion. Android is just pound shop nasty, Samsung do a decent overlay on it but I still don’t like it.

    iPhones have their own issues but they are easier to support and definitely more manageable in a corporate environment.

    Mid range android devices slow to a crawl after a couple of years in my experience.

    All that said I’m starting to believe all smartphones are a burden on humanity no matter who makes them.

    • You can buy 5 androids for the price of 1 apple.
      Employ 4 immos to sell your crack on your unused android’s = more productivity.
      Fuck apple overpriced bullshit.

  18. Tin can and string for me.

    Occasionally use an abacus.

    Most of the time it’s papyrus and a quill.

    Apples are for converting to cider.

    • I also talk to myself. Have you ever heard yanks pronounce abacus. Sounds like they are about to cook something. My favourite word I’ve ever heard a yank speak is ultimatum. Sounds like pissed up gobbledygook.

      • “Alooominum” does it for me…what the bollocks? Do they call it uranum? …or titanum? No, it’s uranium and titanium and most definitely AL – YOO – MIN – EE – UM !! Got that you illiterate twats!

  19. I fucking hate iPhones. Work gave me one one those pieces of shit and I used it as a coffee cup coaster for a bit and then gave it to someone who had dropped their iPhone from a height of about 20mm onto a carpet floor…it looked like the one in the nom pic.

    Apple are about two years behind all of the Android developers and the fuckwitted isheep bleat on about how great the new features are. apart from the fact that Samsung and Sony had already developed that feature when God was still a teenager.

    Try a top of the line professional Sony Xperia and you will be blown away by the battery life, the camera quality and music quality. not to mention the Sony Bravia screen capability.

    I fart in the general direction of iPhone owners and laugh at their smashed screens, which apparently come like that straight out of the box.

    In short, iPhones are substandard shite for dipshit, easily led fucking morons.

    Going for a lay down now.

  20. As a slight aside, I used to recommend my fellows cunters to use Youtube Vanced (same but with no ads). Now that’s been shut down, I’ve moved onto the Brave browser (no tracking, no ads on Youtube); it’s ace.
    It’s also easy (for Android users) to acquire a modded/unlocked apk for Spotify…also ace.

  21. I still use my Apple 2 from 1978 to read IAC and it also allows me to keep electronic accounts and play Pac-Man

    I would rather glue my head to the carpet than be seen in public with an iphone.

  22. This whole subject is about white peoples problems and first world snobbery. I fucking love it. Can I get a half-caff double mocha latte please?
    The real cunt of it all is that I’ve reached a point where I can’t get by with out the 3 eyed bastard on my person every waking moment. I just hope I don’t develop cancer in my left testicle.

  23. Never had a mobile phone until I had one passed down to me. From what I gather, the only thing to worry about is if you are using it outside whilst walking around without due care and attention. All other things are insignificant.

  24. Wouldn’t buy anything from these hippie cunts.
    Had to use a Mac years ago for work… “But, but, it’s industry standard!
    Expensive shit, do the same on a PC at less than half the price.
    Keep to Android for phone. 😶

  25. I’ve got a something or other, sounds like Kawasaki or summat.

    Had it years. It does the job and don’t keep on whining about upgrading, unlike the fucking WhatsApp app thing, that seems to want to upgrade every 30 seconds, with no discernable benefits or improvement.

    • If you get something that came out in around 44BC, it has long since stopped demanding upgrades, and quite a lot of its bloatware can be permanently removed. Another argument in favour of being completely obsolete.

  26. I have no say in the matter I get Mrs E/C s old phone. Simple as that. On my second I phone a ten year old something with no memory. At least her old Samsung I had till it melted had the option of a memory card. All witchcraft I tell you witchcraft all of them

  27. Anyone who spends £1k+ on a fucking phone needs their bumps felt and their bollocks kicked!
    I like this cheap arse XGODY (no me neither) thing off Fleabay mainly ’cause of the mahoosive 7″ screen, it makes calls, does texts, plays tunes and will even take photos. only one app on the cunt which is a freebie guitar tuner. 3g though so i’internetz is rubbish but do I care… do I fuck.

    • My childer are always upgrading their mobiles.

      Why?

      I really don’t understand. If it ain’t broke, why fix it?

      And when the only actual difference is a better camera, oh fgs!

    • Anybody who spends 1k on a mobile telephone needs a bullet to let the shit out of their heads.

  28. Have an iPhone Apple SE base model 64 gb but its lightning fast as it has that bionic chip A15 i think.
    Funny thing is though I have mobile data turned off most of the time when I’m outside of the house
    I loved my old Nokia from 20 plus years ago bullet proof and no case needed, the only abuse that it couldn’t take was going for a swim.

    • “…the only abuse that it couldn’t take was going for a swim…”

      When I was doing site work I trashed two phones before I finally found one o’ these bad lads…
      Ericsson “Shark”
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ericsson_R310s

      Rubberised, Goretex membranes all over it, silicone gasketing all round; that thing got kicked off scaffolds, dropped in puddles and even ended up in the site cludgey once when I leaned forward and it slipped out of m’ top pocket and plopped into a bowlfull of me own steaming piss!, meh… swilled it off under the tap. all good. Fucking indestructible… until my teething 2yr old got a hold off it and chewed the key pad and rubber facia off it within minutes.

      Wonder if you can still get them on the retro phone market?

  29. the joy of fleabay and in the 50 notes and 5 years old .Samsung. what these barmy fuckers spend 1000 plus nowadays I could get a lovely motor for that back in the day.

  30. Apple’s Hardware is just overpriced designer shit (mostly solid, but a cunt of sorts when it comes to customizing), most of the software “just” works, as those iCunts have been boasting for an aeon, I admit, but the UI system settings are a stalinist fuckfest obviously designed by a pack o’ patronizing sophisticunts from hell. The word “user-friendly” means to them “constraining the user to do everything exactly the way I want him to”. Wokunty Technopapism.

Comments are closed.