A nomination for modern television

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The resignation of Phillip Schofield made me realise just how much I despise television now. The fakery of it. Thr facade of bonhomie on shite like This Morning hiding bullying and venomous sniping. I wonder if something about Nasty Munchetty will be divulged.

These presenters and producers are not quite human; lying reptiles gas lighting the public, using weasel words- ‘some people might say/argue, ‘so-called Islamic State’. These sociopaths hiding their hatred of their viewers behind smiles and make up. Their bogus, ostentatious ‘fact checkers’, their disdain for history, their participation in dangerous lies about gender.

The flea-brained gotcha interviews, the predictable panel shows and comedy (Orange maaaannn baaaad! Daily Mail! Brexit Boris Bumbly Boo!)
Audiences of clapping braying seals, laughing on command.

the blatant propaganda in soaps and dramas, the ubiquity of finger wagging in historical settings.
The bait and switch of undermining the legend of established male characters, their strength and resourcefulness mocked by cheap sass, sophomore snark and obnoxious attitudes in physically, psychologically and demographicallyunrealistic worlds created by emotionally incontinent adult-children who have no experience of anywhere or anyone beyond London, New York or Los Angeles and whose knowledge of the world doesnt go much further in space or in time.

Modern television offers nothing to anybody with an IQ higher than that of a house cat, or with any moral courage or pride in themselves or the nation.

It has truly become the idiot lantern.

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.
A great cunting in my opinion as I don’t watch telly and haven’t done for a few years now, C.A.

131 thoughts on “A nomination for modern television”

  1. A great mom and seriously well written.

    TV is shite. No question. The plethora of channels was always going to lead to a drop in quality.

    Like most on here I don’t watch much and when I do it’s either documentaries about the war or re runs of Minder and the Professionals, Salvage Hunters and American Pickers.

    My Mrs can’t understand why I like watching Minder and The Professionals so recently I put her straight and it was quite telling.

    I watch them because in part they remind me of growing up but actually I like the fact that no agendas are being pushed and in the case of Minder it’s still quite funny innocent drama and The Professionals was proper boys own stuff with a bit of 70’s early 80’s smut thrown in for good measure.

    Bodie always got the girl!

    Society has become far too decedent and without genuine struggle and TV is merely a reflection of that.

  3. Television was invented by John yogi Bear.

    He should of been knighted for this.

    The greatest gift a man could give to his fellow man.

    The only thing that comes close is 5G phone masts.

    • 5g phone mast’s are fucking amazing.

      Especially the destruction of natural wildlife habitat involved.

      I think we should just destroy all forms of wildlife while watching Coronation Street.

      • I don’t think I’d qualify as a ‘Millenial’
        Born in 1955
        Was never much of a TV watcher, but it got to the point where mostly programs insulted my intelligence.
        Now, it’s just the propaganda arm of governments.
        I have better ways of spending my time than rotting my brain

  5. Endeavour was great for the first few series. Then it turned into convoluted woke drivel. The final episode with the totally pointless racist/sexist/homophobic identikit white male killer and that puke inducing soap-esque wedding was utter shite.

    And don’t get me started on the ‘nasty Enoch Powell/Paggis are great’ bollocks and the man hating lynch mob of wimmin from Series 7. A great series ruined.

  6. I used to have my set on standby, until some twat pointed out that, with rising energy prices, this could cost me upwards of £35-50 pa. That’s a fair few bottles of wine, so I turned it off at the main.

    It’s been on once, since September 2012, so Younger could watch Crufts, while eating Sunday dinner.

    I haven’t missed it one jot. I’m binge reading, it’s blissful.

  7. Haven’t watched terrestrial since I caught myself obsessing over Kung Flu numbers in 2020.

    “Get a grip, Cuntis – this isn’t normal,” I told myself.

    So I had a proper “wise up” moment. It was as easy as flipping a switch. I am convinced that this decision – as well as regular exercise – correlates directly with coming off my anti-depressants and feeling better mentally and physically.

    Granted, I still watch Sky Sports for the F1, and the diverse tart on there doesn’t bother me that much as the others. I find that Amazon Prime has better telly than Netflix.

    “Russian Netflix” or “Кинопоиск” with the old, classic Soviet movies and some proppa gnarly crime dramas is good, too. In one of the latter I watched recently, the main character a load of tyres around a nonce and set fire to him. How I laughed!

    Anyway, for a bit of relaxation before bed I tend to read for about an hour. Y’know, good ol’ fashioned paper and intellectual stimulation, then I’m out like a light.

    Over ‘n out one, over ‘n out, all. Have a splendid evening.

  8. A truly great cunting this. If there was an ISAC gilded display case what the best cuntings got put in then this one would be a contender for sure. Blissful

    • Just occasionally, OC, some noms stand by their own merit.

      A link is always nice, even if its just tangelic to the subject, but once in a while the subject of the cunting is so clear we don’t need a picture painted for us.

      I’ve sent you a bunch of sour grapes, enjoy.
      🍇

    • I’ve had noms before which shouldn’t technically need links but I’ve still been berated by CA for not providing one. Course I’m gonna have sour grapes over that.

  10. The warnings you get on Sky when you press the i button on your remote, usually when it’s a classic 70’s or 80’s programme “Contains outdated language, views and characters”. Might have to you, you Joseph Goebbels wannabe cunts, but not to me. Even changed the dogs name in The Dam Busters now. “Come here, Utumbele. Time for your soy pedigree non binary, plant based Winalot”.

  11. This is where we are. I’m hearing on the radio that Ivan is getting a good kicking in Ukraine. (subtext….send more taxpayers money) Sounds great but can I believe it? Fuck NO! How the fuck can you believe anything in the media?
    That ship sailed a long time ago and left me behind on the dock.
    Oh, wait a minute…….I can see some dinghies in the distance………

    • I’m watching it in HD.
      Clear as crystal it is.

      You can almost smell them.

      • If you watch in ultra HD you can see the individual beard hairs on the 10 year olds.

      • Yes, some of the most disadvantaged and vulnerable people in the world. My BBC heart fucking bleeds for them. Thank God we have decent Wi-Fi in Kent.

    • What you talking about Freddie, itchy ballsack has stopped them single handedly. It was in the media..🤪🤪

    • This video has been doing the rounds – your tax monies hard at work in the warzone

      https://disk.yandex.com/i/WdjtNoeqKdS0LQ

      Oh! what a Lovely war, eat yer fucking heart out…

      Still, we should all sleep easier knowing that if it comes down to a gay dance-off with the Russians, the Ukrainians will slap…err…fondle…err…kick their arses.

  12. Nothing short of missile-carrying drones, and landmining the entire Kent coast, with lookout posts armed with RPGs and AK47s will stop them, though I think a Wickerman with a suitable cantidate ( there’s plenty in an HMP hotel) every 10 yards might also be a deterrent.

  13. An old TV?
    Surely Liberace?
    Or Barry Humphries?
    Or Danny La Rue…
    continues ad infinitum…

  14. My goldfish have never watched it, I suspect they have an higher IQ than most who partake of daytime TV…. and therefore wouldn’t watch it even offered. In fact I know they are smart as the other evening they happily disclosed the truth, in that that Phil Schofield was a cunt.

    Clever fish.

    Elsewhere a ‘whistleblower’ has claimed, apparently with the blessing of the pentagon, via freedom of speech and some act or other, that the US military has ‘exotic vehicles’ and tech from non earth sources. 🤖👾👽 and has for a long time.

    Mmmmmm.

    • Yeah I ssw the chap. 36 years of age. Sounds like a Walter Mitty to me.

  15. Television enthusiasts are usually the bottom feeders of society.

    Don’t get me wrong – I do enjoy a bit of live sport be it Snooker boxing or football and older films (anything made before the early 90s)

    But general television?? 50 part box sets? Woke bollocks? Fuck that.

    Worth noting as well – without the idiot lantern and the slack jawed cunts gawping at it 24/7 – things such as the Convid racket could and would never have happened.

    Good Evening

  17. I loathe modern cop/crime shows. Pretentious and convoluted ‘intelectual cat and mouse’ shite. Always a battle of wits between the cozzer and an over-glamourised and too smart villain. Crap like The Fall, Marcella, all that CSI bollocks, and that subtitled shit on BBC4.

    Whatever happened to goodies chasing baddies? Regan and Carter, Bodie and Doyle, Starsky and Hutch.

    • Fans of Starsky and Hutch shoukd avoid the Ben Stiller film at all costs. Stiller and Owen Wilson just play themselves and are nothing like the original characters. Huggie Bear is played by lanky rap has-been Snoop dog and Vince Vaughan is a shit villain.
      There is a fit blonde cheerleader who gets her massive norks out but it’s purely gratuitous for the mouth-btreathing yank teenagers who’ve never watched the original and don’t care.

      The worst big screen adaptation of a TV programme ive seen.

  18. Man About The House was on ITV4 one morning. Before it came on there was a dire warning about how the programme was ‘representative of another time and contained offensive views’.

    Fucking hell. Anyone would think it was a Leni Riefenstahl propaganda flim instead of Richard O’ Sullivan making a couple of saucy jokes.

  19. Let’s face it, most people involved in TV are cunts, especially soap ‘actors’. What motivates a person to want to be seen on a screen pretending to be someone else? Surely this is top of the tree for narcissists. If it’s for the fame, why? Only a few people know I can be a cunt, but if you’re famous, EVERYONE knows you’re a cunt, like that fucking Montecito yacht slut! Is a cunt, acts like a cunt, has a cunt for a mother and married to a cunt! How much more cuntish can you be!

      • ‘Sir’ Tony Blair.
        A reason to ditch honours lists all by itself.

        Other include Sir Jimmy and the paid recommendations for honours.

        David Bowie and John Cleese had the right idea, as did Peter Higgs (he of the Boson).

        ‘Shove it up your collider, you cowardly pompous cunts!’
        is what I imagined Higgs said.

    • I met Anne Kirkbride (Deidre Barlow) in Manchester clubs a couple of times. She was sound as a pound with a great sense of humour. Not all ‘soapies’ are cunts….

  20. On youtube:
    “Clangers” – by Rude Guy Comedy adult dub 2023.
    Just about sums up what I think of the apparatus, and the utter dross-cloud that it picks up.

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