Nyctophobia

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Did you know 11per cent of adults are scared of the dark in the US?

True.
And a jaw dropping 64per cent of adults in the UK say that they are scared of the dark.

Disgraceful!!

Our ancestors were scared of the dark.
With every reason,
Large predators, lions ,tigers and bears,oh my!
Other raiding tribes etc.

But for someone nowadays it’s pathetic.

I used to sometimes take off as a lad and camp in the woods, loved it!
Felt like Tarzan 🙂
But then I like my own company, nature, and not being around noisy cunts.

I like the dark,
It keeps kids in,
Old fuckers in,
And people don’t notice you fondling your balls.

For any adult scared of the dark you need fuckin horsewhipping,
Your a absolute disgrace and around mardarse.

I hope the monsters under your bed eat your face off.

Mirror Link.

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt

70 thoughts on “Nyctophobia”

  1. I love going out in the dark. I’m having to take vitamin D tablets to stay alive.

  2. There are no monsters under the bed!

    You know damn well they’re in the wardrobe.

  3. It’s the fault of film makers, everything bad happens in the dark, either night time, in the woods or dark rooms, underground bunkers….

    Be Afraid, be very Afraid

  5. 64% of UK adults scared of the dark?

    Nah!

    Afraid of dârkiès, more like. 😁

    • I think Mis means 64% of adults around New Mills, the fear of coming face to face with a 6’4” bearded bloke fondling his balls in the woods.

    • I got a black mate. His job is working from home calling up residents about how much they trust the police in London. They call him all sorts and not the licorice type either. The abuse he gets it’s unreal it’s clearly just a survey for the Labour party propaganda he doesn’t give a shit he gets paid

      • Evening Jeezum. 👍

        The tickie fairy is most discerning. He only bestows his tickies on the best posts. 😂

  6. Least you stick to fondling your own balls..

    Phew you had me worried for a minute.

  7. Afraid of the dark? Me? Never.
    When the lights go down at the opera, that’s when I know my Balzac! Especially if La Bartoli is getting them out for the gentlemen, or doing a breeches role.

  8. Don’t know about being afraid of the dark Mis; depends on the circumstances I think. Being out in the woods in the UK certainly is good fun. There are no dangerous wild animals and probably no blicks or peacefuls. There are large areas of the world where you wouldn’t venture into the forest at night without lights and a heavy calibre firearm and preferably a mate equipped likewise. When I was working I would sometimes get called out in the early hours by the Met. If the call was at Brixton nick I would drive round the block twice before I stopped the car.

    Most townies of course do not know darkness, they think darkness is when a streetlight is out. For twenty years I used to spend the occasional weekend at 2,500′ on a mountain in central Wales in pursuance of my amateur radio hobby. When there was no moon and cloud cover you quite literally could not see your hand in front of your face. The only person in our club who wasn’t unsettled by this was Peter who was blind from birth. If it was a clear night with no moon that was just as impressive. This huge black vault of the sky above was packed with thousands of stars blazing away. The light they threw was incredible, you could actually detect shadows on the ground.

    • Absolutely arfur, I once drove from Darwin to Adelaide and stopped off for a few nights sleeping in a swag in the outback. The sky was insane. I think over here probably Northumberland (avoiding Fiddler on the way home from the pub) and Exmoor would be good viewing too.

      • Arfur@

        Me and my best mate a few years ago went camping,
        In a place in the Peak District that is a abandoned lead mine,
        Full of caverns, catacombs etc.

        We had sacks of logs,
        Food, and ale aplenty for around the fire 🔥

        My mate served 3 tours of Northern Ireland in the army,
        Water boarded IRA suspects,
        Had shot at people and boxed for his regiment.
        He had a axe with him for chopping wood.

        I’m genuinely massive,
        Had a machete in my Bergen .

        He said

        ” I wouldn’t like to be here on my own,
        Would you?”

        I pointed out to him we were probably the most dangerous thing in the fuckin area!!!

  9. Oh, how I agree with that nom, Mis! And how I miss the remote Highlands.

    My recently new next door neighbour must be one of those cunts. He – or perhaps it’s his dour skinny wife – has turned their tiny back yard into Tinkerbelle’s Fairy Grotto, with lights on strings and purple (ffs) solar powered lights illuminating their collection of garden-centre plants, mock-rustic tat and let us not forget the pigeon-attracting bird feeders.

    A strangely coherent monument to bad taste and boredom, and their fear is so great that it’s all left switched on even when they’ve gone to bed. Horsewhipping’s too good for them. Though I’d do it in daylight to be sure of inflicting maximum pain.

    • Good afternoon Komodo. That sounds just like the ageing couple who live at the end of my garden. The developer refurbished the original house (on a 1/3 acre plot) and built another alongside in what was the original garden. This couple moved into the refurbished house and hacked half the hedge away dividing our rear gardens to compensate for the tiny postage stamp sized garden left at the back of their house by the developer.

      Anyway, they have filled this pissant garden with tat. A fucking man cave/hot tub ensemble, a pissing gazebo. Umptyump fucking fairy lights, blue lights, more lights. Looks across between Santa’s fucking grotto and the local rub and tug.

      The remaining hedge my side was shot to shit by the hard trimming his side so I pulled the remains of the fucking thing out with a digger. I am going to re-plant some mature laurels this weekend. The bloody things can’t grow quick enough to screen the fucking shit-scape, as far as I’m concerned.

      • I sincerely sympathise. I didn’t realise how lucky I was! Why the fucking gazebo? Every cunt round here has one too, though this is perhaps because the immigrants from Essex narrowly beat the cunts from Poland to the local housing stock. Perhaps they get them as a matching set with the barbecue (or rat-bait -don’t get me STARTED) and the pub-table parasol thing.
        Hope the laurels work. They’re nice and poisonous, but you might add flowering currant, which does a nice line in allergenic responses.

    • They’ve just put a fucking bicycle in there. Declaration of war follows.

  10. I’ve been afraid of the dark ever since I was abducted by aliens as a child.
    I was taken from my house and placed in a strange room where a voice kept telling me to, “tidy your room”, “do your homework” and ‘wash your hands,” over and over again.
    I’d been taken to the mothership….

  11. The dark does not keep this old cunt in. Bout the only time I can get some real peace.

  12. It’s not particularly good news, is it.

    There are plenty of people who think that the general public in the UK will eventually decide that enough is enough and take to the streets to protest about being invaded by third world illegal immigrants, and having the burden of financially supporting them.

    But that will have to remain as just a dream when the majority of adults think that there are monsters under their own beds.

    • In the words of Henry Ford (perhaps), no-one ever went broke by underestimating the intelligence of the public.

  13. The link is an article from 2017… The percentage may be more now ??

  14. I will admit to, on occasion, being a bit un-nerved by the dark bow. But this is only when I’m at work and on a late night shift. The heavy industrial site where I work is huge but run by a small work force. If you’ve seen Alien³, then that is basically where I work. So when I’m off on my own in some remote part of the factory with limited lighting and you hear some random noise it can shit you up just a little bit.

    But anywhere other than work and I’m alright.

    • You’re the ghost of Harry Dean Stanton and I claim my rubbery facehugger.

  15. These haunted house/ ghosty programs and films, why the fuck do you go exploring abandoned shacks in the dead of night when daylight works wonders for the vision.
    I love nightfall.
    Boogeyman cunts.

  16. My dad used to be a foreman in a rubber mill.
    This mill at the end of the river Goyt just at the start of the river Mersey was a few hundred years old.
    Part of the mill wasn’t used and was thick with dust from rubber and neglect.

    One of the blokes had to go into this part for some reason,
    And swears he saw foot prints appearing in the dust although nobody was there! 😁

    He refused to ever go in that part of the mill again and so did the rest of the night shift.

    Gone now, sold out to Indonesia for cheap labour.
    The mill demolished for a Tesco.

  17. The only thing I fear in the dark is shit my son has left lying around on the floor when i’m trying to silently sneak in leathered

  18. Bleck people like the dark, they can hide in it from da police. Until they smile and open their eyes.

    • The police’s tactic in such instances, is to just say ‘Friiiiiedddd chiggun’.

      It instantly makes the law breaking sooty smile and reveal himself.

  19. I witnessed a paranormal event in a restaurant. The waiter had explained that the place was apparently haunted by the souls of jazz musicians.
    I thought it was a load of old nonsense but just as the waiter returned with our starters, a serviette on the adjacent table, stood up on two corners like it had feet and began singing, “Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.”
    I looked at the waiter in disbelief and he said, “See, I told ya, Napkin Cole”….

  20. My elected leaders keep me in the dark. They must think I’m a mushroom because they feed me shit too.

  21. If I’m struggling to sleep I sometimes prefer to have the light on. Reason being that it feels like there’s less pressure TO sleep.

    • Off topic,
      I watched a brilliant documentary last night Storyville: Attica prison riots

      Some of you may be aware of it?
      Although more likely to be US cunters like Meat Curtains and General Cuntster that know it.

      In 1971 a high security prison (Attica) had a uprising, a lot of the leaders were black criminals.

      They took the prison and help guards as hostages.

      The media were all over it,
      As was civil rights groups,
      Hang wringing lefties,
      And worried relatives.

      Talks and negotiations took place.
      Prisoners had demands listed.

      Apparently Muslims were given pork,
      Goon squads would batter prisoners etc.

      The negotiations broke down when a guard died of his injuries.
      Richard Nixon sent in the National Guard.

      It was a fuckin slaughter house!
      10 hostages killed
      29 prisoners killed

      They went in hard,!!
      Made the prisoners crawl through human shit in the latrine then made them strip naked,
      Absolutely fucked them up!

      Well worth a watch!
      Gory as fuck.

      *Contains scenes of a racist nature and outdated language that some viewers may find offensive 😁

      • Can’t beat good family entertainment, MNC.

        Will put it on when Charlie is putting his new hat on.

      • It shows a black man with his eyes shot out CB!!

        And a big naked one with a rugby ball under his chin,
        They’re flickering lit cigarettes at him,
        And they tell him

        “Ni**er. That ball falls and we will blow your motherfucking head off.”

        And they meant it.

        I thoroughly enjoyed it!
        About time they brought some discipline to TV.😁

  22. I had trouble sleeping last night, I was kept awake by a really loud ticking noise coming from outside.
    It was the neighbourhood watch….

  23. I’m not afraid of the dark, just the creatures that crawl out of it.

    I’m talking about scum robbing work vans, of tools of the trade, breaking into garden sheds to nick anything that’ll earn a quid, and so on.

    At least this time of year inhibits the chavvy twats, somewhat, but I hate the decent into Autumn, especially October /November when they start ” Christmas” shopping.

    Cunts.

  25. Whoever thinks of going to bed before twelve o’clock is a scoundrel.

    Samuel Johnson

  26. One thing that I had to get used to when I moved to Spain was the lack of light in traditional houses.

    The modern houses, built for foreigners on urbanisations have plenty of big windows.

    Traditional Spanish houses have small windows with shutters that are closed for most of the year.
    They keep the houses cooler and protect furniture from the sun.

    At night it is unthinkable to have the shutters open on your bedroom windows.
    We sleep in absolute darkness.

  27. The comedy rock band The Darkness had a few hits. Apparently, You’re Really Growing On Me was about Syphilis and their festive effort, Christmas Time, was written because he wanted people to sing “bells end”(“…don’t let the bells end”).

  28. I love the night. The day is OK and the sun can be fun, but I live to see those rays slip away.

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