Lizzo

No, I’ve no idea who this elephant is either, but by the looks of the report it must be a popular recording artist or something. It may be a good, bad or indifferent singer, I don’t know and don’t want to know.
My point being, who the fuck could watch this mountain of adipose tissue slithering around on stage without wanting to vomit?

The Daily Torygraph carries a report on the same gig today with the headline ‘Why isn’t this out-and-out superstar headlining Glastonbury?’ I’ll tell you why not – because it wouldn’t be possible to construct a stage strong enough to support her and the fat slags behind her. What a disgusting sight.

Independent

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

86 thoughts on “Lizzo

    • Can you imagine Lizzo and her ‘dance troupe’ appearing in Biafra and taunting the emaciated audience.

      “Look, we’re well fed! In fact, we’re fat! Fat is where it’s at!”

      Does Biafra still exist? Fucked if I know.

  1. There is a reason they never turn around on stage.

    The two ton tessies would then inadvertently reveal their huge skid marks to the shocked audience.

    They are also told not to get too near the front of the heavily reinforced stage, due to the stench of arse cheese, BO and shite, that once knocked out an entire front row.

  2. Imagine the sport to be had hunting this monster and members of her dance troop, if cunt Corden could be involved so much better. Now to be a bit woke, no firearms bows spears or any sharp hurty thing, the hunters will use paintball markers and require photo evidence of impact marks to claim points. Just up the road is an isolated area of woodland approx 100 acres various amounts of ground cover, open sections akin to small meadows perfect for tree stands. Just need the finance to enable the erection of the prey proof fence and ready to go.

  3. ‘Lizzo’ is a tribute to her most famous film role, Godzilla.

    I wonder how many Bargain Buckets that lot get through between each performance.

  4. When did it come compulsory for pop stars to be fat cunts?

    In the old days, your pop star looked the part. Everyone from Bowie and Bolan to Adam Ant and George Michael.

    But now? They look as bad as they sound. Ed Sheercunt, William Eilish, Lewis Capaldi, Adele (although she’s improved of late), and this Lizzo effort. Not only is it now cool to be tuneless and talentless, it is also cool to be ugly.

    I would give that Miley Cyrus a go though…😉

    • Now, I hate Ed Sheercunt. But that fat cunt Lewis Capaldi is overtaking him. I loathe Capaldi’s whining strained whaling. He’s another cunt who thinks shouting in one key is singing. His latest hit ‘Forget Me’ is a musical crime. His lacerated yelling in its chorus showing how fucking shit he really is. Useless fat cunt.

  5. What concerns me is that artists and the media in general are promoting being fat as being perfectly OK, inspirational even. It is an unhealthy lifestyle choice, and should be ‘called out’, not championed.

  6. Bet the gusset on that smells rather ripe.

    Anyone here care to give it a good sniff?

    • Only with a crucifix, a gas mask and a Sellafield suit, CEO.😉

      Also, imagine it squirting? Like the grease traps at Grimsby Fish Market…☠🤢☠

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