It seems the much loved works of Roald Dahl are just too insulting for the perpetually offended brigade.
“Publisher Puffin has hired sensitivity readers to rewrite chunks of the author’s text to make sure the books ‘can continue to be enjoyed by all today’, resulting in extensive changes across Dahl’s work”.
Words such as fat, and ugly have been removed so as not to upset fat and ugly people. The Oompa Loompas are now gender neutral, and the BFG can no longer wear a black cloak, because the words black and white have been removed from Dahl’s novels.
Absurd censorship by a small group telling the rest of us how to behave yet again.
Here’s two books they may want to read before they go any further:
Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, and George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four.
They are works of fiction too, depicting a dystopian future which is rapidly becoming reality.
Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire.
(I’d like to see them try and edit Last Exit to Brooklyn – NA)
I am really fucked as the majority of my photography for the past 11 years has been black and white. Hells bells what happens if I get pulled by the old bill when out capturing some images of nature and my ancient camera is full of 35 mm HP5 bw film Fuck me must be a hate crime. Fucking World gets more cuntish by the second
Just say, “it’s MONOCHROME not black and white!”.
I knew a guy who played in the original hells bells tribute act. Have a listen to this wonder. https://youtu.be/nwfazH2ho1w
Ps he was kicked out but it was the original tribute act. He is a fantastic guitar player.
It’s a long time since I’ve read it but the classic “Treasure Island” could be in trouble. I seem to remember if you received a “black spot” that amounted to a death threat. That is not just “anxiety triggering” but so raaaaaaay-sist! Then there is Long John Silver a member of the “different limbed community” who was portrayed as a dastardly villain. Mind you, he was white so that’s fair enough I suppose.
What about Peter Pan? Surely he and Wendy should be non binary? And once again you have the “different limbed” villain, Captain Hook.
Fuck me, it’s no wonder we all ended up as Brownshirt Stormtroopers! There is a statue of Peter Pan in London, is it in Hyde Park? Whatever ……it has to come down and be dumped in the Serpentine. I’ll have a word in Suckdick’s shell like and see what I can do.
It’s a nightmare all right..that Peter Pan chap can fly..so that will cause outrage amongst those more constrained by gravity in their daily lives.
Let them go through the old Testement.
Thank the Lord for Enid Blyton-and her “Dark Press” under the counter Famous Five series.
Five go to Uncle Caligula’s
Five tune in, turn on and drop out
Five visit the Tavistock clinic and my all time favourite:
“Five have fun at Nuremberg”
An extract below:
“Now, now chil-dren, der is da lashinks & laskinks of schnitzel, custard unt sauerkraut, after your long train journey-but you must wash unt brush up or Uncle Addy vill be very cross!”
“Oh Aunty Eva-we are all starving-oh ok”
With that the children dashed upstairs, Timmy barking excitedly, tail wagging nineteen to the dozen.
“I say Ju-look at these smashing uniforms Uncle Addy has laid out for us-bagsy the Luftwaffe uniform-you can have this super SS death camp Commandant uniform”
Rather!” Said Julian. “I hope Uncle Addy lets us shoot some gypsies this year, awful smelly types-ughh!”
Later as the children were tucking into a spender supper, Uncle Addy returned, bearing gifts for his Nieces and Nephews.
“I say! Lugers!! Thank you Uncle-that’s absolutely Wizard!” cried the boys.
“Unt for Timmy-some fresh meet from Herr Doktor Mengeles-ignore the numbers-just the way butchers do it in the Fatherland”
“For Georgina, a splended toy!”
“What on EARTH is it” Exclaimed George.
“It’s unt deel-do-Aunty EVA will show you how to use it later. Gut!”
“….and for mein favourite little blonde Aryan Anne, ein special costume, to wear when you come to mein study later!!!”
“Oh uncle Addy!” cried Anne-do I really have to shit in your mouth again these Hols?”
Available from Penguin books.
Vile Jew hating scum. See their new language guide. Utter toss potts.
Black and white removed? What the fuck will be next? Red, in case it offends Apaches? Green, in case if offends Paddies? Orange, in case it upsets David Dickinson? Dahl’s estate should pull his books out of Puffin and give them to another publisher.
That slippery oozing smirking smear of slime Lineker will find all the Nazis he wants at Puffin. But, you know our Gary. Only made up white English Nazis will do…
I will ring Oxfams head office today. When the person answers,and confirms it is the headquarters,I will tell them that they are a racist cunt.
Indeed,it is because of Oxfams systemic racism that Mtembe has to walk 10 miles to a tap.
I wonder why Mtembe just does not try and move closer to the tap..