Jess Glynne – Singer or Summat!

Posted on by

Jess Glynne is a cunt.

Radio stations seem to love this whaling bint. They torture people with that ‘I’ll Be There’ song. When will these cunts realise that ludicrous badly done cadenzas and stupid noises is not singing? She is absolutely horrible.

With ridiculous yodeling, she sounds like a female Jimmy Savile. And that ‘I’ll be there for you-hoo-hoo-ooh’ bit makes glass crack and animals run for cover. Seriously, I defy anyone to listen to it without getting a headache or their piss boiling.

This tart is also responsible for that unintelligible screeching in those horrible Jet2 adverts.

YouTube Link

Nominated by: Norrman

90 thoughts on “Jess Glynne – Singer or Summat!”

  2. Women again..
    Didn’t they get the message yesterday after being cunted.
    Back in the kitchen and get the bacon on.

    Morning norrman.

  3. Yes Norman she’s bad – she’s really fucking bad.

    Been around for a few years now hasn’t she.

    Tries to sound a bit like that other insufferable warbler Adele.

    Some fucker with a dark sense of humour obviously told this lass that not only could she sing but she can have a recording contract and also appear repeatedly on a terrible advert.

  4. She sings like Frank Ifield on helium. A ‘quirky’ vocal just like that bloody Ellie Goulding, who also cannot sing for toffee.

    This Glynne bint is apparently partial to a fish supper and a bit of recreational scissoring.

    Apparently.

    • At least she’s a bird, Baz, unlike Eddoe ‘Suzy’ Izzard, whom, according to LBC:

      ‘She is doing a one-woman show’

      Christ on a Raleigh Chopper…

      • True gene.
        It’s on radio x with Chris moyles this morning two reasons to break your radio.

        Best of all the previous dj called it Eddie izzard.. he will be sacked or vilified on twatter.

      • Don’t seem to get that sort of thing on ‘Boom Radio’, Baz. Give it a try?

      • Agree witcha, boom radio is the dogs twitcher, spread the word, BOOM is coming for your ears.

    • Hells bells, clicking on that link! Do you know of anywhere that creature can be legally hunted?

  6. I’d take those ‘Jet2’ adverts over those God-fucking awful ‘On The Beach’ ads with the family from Hell, quiye an inoffensive tune, really. Imagine being in a hotel with that bunch of cunts? It’d be like being stuck in a room with General ‘Mr Grimsdale’ Bullshitter or The Worcestershire Warrior.

  7. I often wondered who or what was behind that awful noise on my television.

    Now I know it’s this cunt.

    Thank you Norman,it’s a big fat Mute Button for me.

    • Apologies for repeating myself, but I still can’t understand how television advertising survived the introduction of the mute button.

      Maybe it’s a massive fraud on the mugs who pay for it? After all it’s impossible to obtain evidence either way. I’ve seen adverts which turn me against what they are trying to sell me and a few adverts where I literally do not know what they are trying to sell me!

  8. One quick scroll through the YouTube comments to the video prove that there’s no hope for humanity.

    Either that or every cunt is deaf.

  9. “This tart is also responsible for that unintelligible screeching in those horrible Jet2 adverts.”

    Youv’e answered a question for me – they sound like a bunch of poofs to me – the Chris Bryant/Mandy Mandelson Chorale, in cut glass jockstraps.

  10. She has a voice like a fucking hinge or as Paul says Frank Ifield on gas.
    I remember you, you cunt.
    As for Jet2, they emerged fairly well when things started up again.
    WCB mentioned she’s responsible for those other ads constantly making me mute YouTube, double cunt.

  11. There should be a ginger apartheid in entertainment.

    Hucknall
    Evans
    Black
    Hewitt

    All managed to slip prosecution and save their milky white freckled hides.

    • And not forgetting Ed Sheercunt.

      The little twat who names his albums things like -, + and =
      to get his own back on some maths teacher who ‘wronged’ him and told him he was shit. Fucking bully fodder head down the bog cunt.

  12. I can’t think of a wimminz vocalist that I can listen to.
    Even if they can sing, they feel the need to augment their voices with incessant warbling as if to prove something.
    It grates on the senses when it’s been produced to buggery in the studio and is even worse when they attempt it live.
    Can’t they just do some discreet backing singing for somebody talented? Topless preferably.

  14. Dont really know who this cunt is but she surely cant do worse than the seeing to that Whitney Houston gave to Dolly’s ‘I will always Love You ooo ooo oooo ooo’

    • Whitney’s version is the absolute pinnacle of dirge, and is what all these modern tarts are trying to emulate.
      Can’t fucking stand it!

    • I don’t much like the original but Whitney manages to add 94% totally unnecessary notes and I hate it. Not just her either, why do some black singers think they need to add superfluous crap to anything? Just sing the fucking song.

  15. Jimmy Saville would not have touched this bint.

    He had standards.

  18. Cher did this shite decades ago, when some twat twiddled on some machineries knobs that can’t be reproduced, unless it came from the arsehole. There again it’s the stupid brainless public to blame, why it gets airtime.

  19. Jessie ware, now here is a lass that can sing. Doing great things at the moment, and can cook. One of her earlier songs “110%” flows rather nicely. Worth checking out.

  20. The cops were called last night and I was put in the back of a squad car after I got in an argument and punched my neighbour for constantly playing at full volume, his Englebert Humperdinck records.
    Turned out okay in the end, police released me, let me go….

  22. Nope, never heard of her, until now……
    and will be quickly forgotten

    What is this nom about, blob week, menopause or just screaming tarts.

    • It’s going to take the whole of Wagner’s “Der Ring des Nibelungen” to clean my head. Pity it only lasts a full day.

  25. Never heard of the cunt.

    Thank fuck by the sound of it. She looks like the bastard offspring of Mick Hucknall and Ray Parlour (#men can have babies too you nazis.)

    • Can you imagine Ray Parlour’s written lyrics. It would be difficult to find a translator. Easier to find a trans singer.

  26. She’s no Agnetha Fals… Agnetha Falts…

    She’s no her off ABBA is she?

    Morning all.

  27. Morning gents, may I recommend who I consider to be one of the best singers in the world?
    A dutch bird called Anneke Van Giersbergen. Super do-able too.

  29. A Rusty Klingfelch for the 30 second attention span mob, her, ‘fatty’ Adele,Lady googoo among others, a sack of trollops scraped ftom the bottom whose only formula is to screech repetively.
    Pinochet helicopter tours beckons.

    • I’ve heard Gaga do some other stuff on Boom, duet, jazz etc and she has a great voice.

Comments are closed.