Perfume/Fragrance Adverts (2)

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It’s that time of year when perfume/eau de toilette adverts are most prominent.
Let’s cut to the chase – (puts on America southern drawl accent) I do declare that perfume adverts are some of the most pretentious, cuntwaffle I ever did see.

In the red corner we have Johnny (I let my missus shit on my bed) Depp trying to make out that he’s some sort of macho, one of the wolf pack, frustrated rock guitarist, rebel hawiking perfume.

Let me just say that I would never buy aftershave from a bloke who’s girlfriend shits on his bed. For some reason I think it will probably smell like shit.

Then we have all the others. I remember the Brad Pitt Chanel advert and the Natalie Portman perfume advert.

I will not be bought by the promise of a movie star saying and doing things I don’t quite understand.

What was that quote from Fight Club?
“We buy things we don’t need to impress people who don’t care”

Nominated by: Harold

131 thoughts on “Perfume/Fragrance Adverts (2)”

  1. Remember that ‘Impulse’ one in the late 70s?

    That proved that some women want to be sexually harassed. If not, they wouldn’t have bought it. Sold for years, so some cunts must’ve been buying it.

    Imagine making that now? Fellas chasing birds down the street and offering them flowers like Pepe Le Pew.

    They’d give you 5 years.

    • More likely they would open their fur coat and give you a gander at their 7” erect clitoris (and furry hens eggs).

    • Went out with a girl years ago who regularly used an Impulse aerosol can as a dildo in front of me before we got down to it.

      Whenever I see them on the shelf in Wilko now, I’m still impressed by the size…..and memories!

  3. Can I just make it known, unlike the OP’s nom, I would most definitely buy aftershave from a bloke who’s wife/girlfriend would shit on demand for him- on the bed or otherwise. In exchange for a video or photos….or a personal invitation to watch whilst I tugged myself off.

    ….I maybe alone in this post

    • Yes, I’d quite forgotten Perfect, because it was so forgettable.

      It didn’t air for very long, possibly because it actually missed the point, but mainly because it caused spontaneous vomiting amongst the entire world, and they were told to pull the ad or start paying compo.

  5. The lad in the ad , after a quick canter along that idyllic beach in the heat of the day, may smell slightly of Old Spice – it’s pretty persistent. But he will smell more of horse. And if he keeps the keks, will do so for weeks.

    • I should add that horse may be much the more effective aroma if seeking the compliance of well-bred gels into dressage or eventing. In which case forget the Old Spice.

  6. Top tip: buy a dupe fragrance oil and mix with Perfumers Alcohol- ta da – and it isn’t illegal for personal use. Some of the dupes out there are good. I’ll never buy major brands again. Happy to explain.

  7. Theyre all so fookin fake and pretentious. Black and white close ups, horses on beaches, whispered euro voices.

    Hoo-ee, what a bunch of cunts.

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