James Earl Jones

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Christmas gift-hunting is a cunt, isn’t it.

Fear not compatriots, here is a splendid idea for the person who has everything: a timepiece containing magic spells. Ladies and Gentlecunts of IAC, I give you…The Prayer Clock.

https://www.theprayerclock.com/

It gives its incantations and superstitious warnings on the hour, every hour. Furthermore, it’s voiced by James Earl Jones. That’s right, the Sith himself. It’s the Gospel according to Darth Vader.

Not interested? Your lack of faith is disturbing. Alternatively you could purchase the audiobook of the Buy-Bull read by Jones himself. I wonder whether Grand Moff Tarquin makes an appearance.

Jesus, would you look at the time!

He was Lord and wanted his son to join him on the Dark Side to conquer the universe. Call forth the Mos Eisley disciples – Greedo, Walrus Man, Hammerhead, and Snaggletooth. No, these aren’t the Apostles you’re looking for. The Force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded.

Nominated by : Captain Magnanimous

 

Happy Christmas, Cunters! – The Admin Team

74 thoughts on “James Earl Jones”

  2. Merry Christmas admin.
    Merry Christmas fellow cunters.🌲🦌

    I always liked James earl Jones.
    Especially as Thulsa Doom in Conan.
    The template for Di Abbott.

    Got to say admin, that’s a exceptional pic!!
    Made my baubles throb👍

  5. Many thanks Admin for keeping the show on the road and providing us with this oasis of sanity.

    Merry Christmas all.

    • The full quote is – “never in the field of human christmases has so much crap been created by so many cunts”.

      Sir Winston Cuntsniffer.

  7. Merry Christmas to all.

    I prefer the St George Floyd “thou shalt not steal” radio alarm clock.

    Good health to all.

  8. Merry Christmas Admin and Cunters .A trip to Exmouth and watch the mad men and women going in for a swim this morning. With Coffee and a bacon and blood sausage bap. Home for sherry and lunch then a nice kip. Many thanks for the superb wit displayed by all. Brown splits this evening lovely.

    • Brown splits? Is that what Philip Schofield and his “reaearcher” will be indulging in this festive day?!

      A very merry Christmas to one and all.

    • Me to DCI i’m working from 2 – 10 pm .Have a good Christmas all 🎅🏿🎅🏿🎅🏿

      • Have a good shift, Fenton. Hopefully, the ‘Q’ word for me, but, usually a suicide at this time of year.

    • My sympathy for you both gents. Now retired, remember those days well. Called out by the Met police at 2am one Christmas day and on another being in the false ceiling at Oxford services on the M40 at 6am fixing a fucking router. Well aware that you guys working are keeping the whole system and the economy running and paying my pension. I try to avoid being on the road in the rush hour but if I am I’ll give way to you. Enjoy Christmas as far as you can and keep well everyone.

      And may I join the rest of you in thanking admin for their work keeping this brilliant site running so well.

    • i feel for you mate
      Hope you don’t end up having to carry fat cunts like Victoria Walker (previous nom on here) into the ambulance and she pukes all over you while trying to snog you. (You’d probably love it, you randy old cunt)

      • That’s what the Fire Brigade’s for! If we can drag them away from their three-course lunch😅

  10. I am but an occasional poster on here, but visit everyday to read. About the only place where I can get laughs.
    Merry Christmas to you all, admin and posters.
    I dread to think what 2023 has in store!

  11. Merry Christmas to Cunters, one and all.

    Merry Christmas to Admin and thanks for their sterling work throughout the year.

  13. Merry Christmas to Cunters one and all.
    Thanks to Admin for keeping us all safe (from prosecution lol)

    As for any BBC employee (past or present) I hope you all get extreme food poisoning from your dodgy lefty vegan tofu shite you all seem to consume these days. You first Lineker, you jug eared Cunt.

  14. Prayer clock with the voice of James Earl Jones?
    It has to be a wind up…..

    ……..or is it battery powered 😉

    Well crafted, Harold. Most amusing – NA.

    • Thanks Night Admin.

      I’d put a bit of thought into it.

      That reminds me – when I was in the local shop yesterday I asked the assistant behind the counter if they sold orange juice.

      Still orange? She said.

      I said Yes, that right. Still orange. I haven’t changed my mind.

  15. Merry Christmas, if that’s your sort of thing.

    I think that it’s all bollocks.

    Still no cards.
    Not fucking one!

    Cunts.

      • Indeed.

        Besides Mrs Cunter I have few family.
        Just two.
        Although they are both adults now, I have always told them not to buy me a present for Christmas or birthdays.
        I don’t want them spending their money on me and I don’t like to think of them worrying about what I might want.

        I tell them that I have everything that I want and two of everything that I need.

        Of course I buy them presents.
        I find out what they want and make sure that I buy the very best for them.
        I have spent a lot of money on them.

        What I ask for in return is a phone call or a nice card.
        Last year I got neither from each of them.

        Not even a WhatsApp.
        No Christmas greeting, not even a thank you.

        This year they got fuck all from me.
        I have saved the large amount of money that I normally spend on the selfish, ungrateful fuckers.

        They will be thinking that I am the one who is a cunt.

      • Feliz navidad arty.
        Lovely weather out here ain’t it.
        Shorts and tee shirts and drinks on the patio😁

      • Certainly sunny and warm.
        Should hit the low 20’s later.

        I am further north than you.

        As usual there are people on the beach and in the sea.
        It’s not warm enough for that malarkey, obviously.
        Tourists just want to do it for the selfies they can send home.

        I have work to do near Jaén next month.
        I hope that the A7-E15 through Granada is not under snow.

        ¡Que tengas un feliz Navidad!

      • January is about the only time we get snow around these parts. Bit of a dusting on the Sierra Nevada at the mo. We can see them from the top of the village

    • More to the point, what’s your girlfriend doing under my Christmas tree? 😁

      Merry Christmas cunters!

      God bless Admin, one and all.

      • This is the only day of the year I cook. Being Chinese my wife doesn’t have a clue how to cook Xmas dinner. Unfortunately, neither do I.

  17. Surely all you cunters mean “happy winter holiday”. Raaayyycissts!!

    Xmas is shite. Happy Xmas anyway.

  18. Unknown to most people James also does a Peaceful version of the Prayer Clock. Every hour, on the hour, he spews out hatred and deadly threats to the Jews and Infidels, all in the name of diversity, inclusion and world peace obviously. It’s a little more expensive but that’s the price of virtue signalling points these days.
    Fuck Christmas and fuck the cunting BBC.

  19. Good morning all and Happy Xmas, and a special thank you to the Admin team for keeping the cunting show on the road for another year.

    Well after studying the delicious little arse there on Santa’s little helper, I find myself needing to retreat to the bathroom. I may be gone some time…

    (Thank you everyone for your good wishes and support over the last 12 months. The ISAC site is only as good as the cunters who post here and the nominations received. Keep up the good work and keep your nominations rolling in for 2023. Thank you again – The Admin Team)

  20. Merry Christmas you degenerate bastards!!!

    From a regular reader and occasional contributor (I usually only get to ISAC late at night and you cunts have said it all, most eloquently, by then).

    Cheers chaps!

  22. Merry Christmas to all you cunters out there.

    Merry Christmas to the admin team for helping deliver what is surely the very finest site on all of the internet. (except maybe Pornhub)

    All the best for the coming shit fest of 2023 🍻

  23. There’s a reason why an item is advertised as “special offer not available in stores”………because it’s shit!
    And why does it need a “certificate of authenticity”? Authentic of what? It’s a fucking clock for fucks sake! Poor James, he must be hard up for a few bob the cunt. Yeah, I don’t give a fuck if it’s Christmas, no cunt is mugging me off.

    (PS. Watch out for the big announcement at 11am today. Get ready to pull your crackers! – Day Admin)

  24. Merry Christmas to one and all.
    May the yuletide log slip from Tony Blair’s fireplace and burn his house down.
    Ho ho ho!

  25. Remember Christmas 1981, received about 20 star wars figures. Including boba Fett. Some were 12 backs. 7 year old me ripped the figures out and played all day.
    Happy memories. Until I realised a few years ago that had I kept them in minty condition unopened. They would be worth 150k
    Who’s the cunt Seven year me or those men who pay 20k for a figure.!

  26. Seasons best to all. Another year closer to that dark hole in the ground but I’ll try to ignore that
    On a happier note, I’m in NZ visiting my family and grandkids and where I’m staying the annual BBQ and drinks on the shore have been banned for Xmas and New year.
    it’s for our own good of course.
    The fucking cunts.

    Thanks admin for the effort put in.

  28. My wife bought me a rather sexy AMD Ryzen 7 5800x with Zen 3 architecture, 8 cores and 16 threads and a top clock speed of around 4.8GHz!

    What more can I say other than Merry Christmas all!!

    • I have an i5 HP Pavilion with a 512SSD. Worth upgrading or should I stick with it? Even with the SSD it feels surprisingly sluggish at times.

      • It depends on a number of factors:
        Operating system
        memory (RAM)
        Number of applications
        Memory intensive apps
        Start up applications
        Hardware component incompatibilities
        antivirus apps running in the background (hogging resources)
        SSD nearing end of life

        All that plus how much porn needs storing and indexing – NA.

    • Sounds like rubbish sex robot to me, Techno.

      I’m disappointed you didn’t order my Greta sex doll mkiii to be honest. Three left (pre-owned and stained) if you’re still keen?

      • Indeed Moggy.

        Your privacy is important to us. The Greta mkiii sex robot is rushed to you under plain packaging.

        We even have our own fleet of vans! You’ll know when we arrive, as the driver sets off an air horn and a full box of fireworks, for your convenience.

        Our van is the one marked ‘Greta Thunberg sex robot delivery’ in 6 foot letters, with a huge picture of the open legged robot, just to avoid any confusion.

  29. Merry Christmas to all cunters near and far. Except Hatefillednormanoswagger. I hope Santa takes him up on his offer and chins him behind the bike sheds in Worcestershire.

  30. Yuletide greetings fellow cunters.

    The voice of God may well be available on your wall every hour but it’ll never replace all the laughs I get from this site every day…

    Cheers all!

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