William Hickson

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WILLIAM HICKSON is a dozy Geordie cunt.

Hickson was arrested in Newcastle with 41 £20 notes stuffed into his sock. Now I know that Geordie slang for ‘pounds’ is ‘poonds’ but as far as I’m aware Newcastle has yet to issue its own currency – so notes with a value of 20 poonds on them would seems to be a bit obviously suspect.

Amazingly they had to call an expert in to verify that they were forgeries.

Words fucking fail me…

Daily Fail Link.

Nominated by: Rt. Hon. Dioclese

43 thoughts on “William Hickson”

  1. It sooonds a. Bit fishy
    Bet they’ll not get their fishy when tha boat comes in.

    Daft cunts

  2. Gormless cunt. I’ll bet the dull fucker doesn’t know the difference between ‘There, their and there’, ‘To and too’, ‘Your and You’re’ and ‘Have’ and ‘Of’, either.

    And I bet he starts a sentence with ‘So’, too.

    • Is this an observation test, DCI?
      You’ve stated ‘There, their and there’…surely one of those ‘there’ instances ought to be ‘they’re’?
      If I may be pathetically pedantic!

    • May I suggest a couple of examples to give folks DCI?

      Tickets were issued to two too many people.

      They’re storing their goods there.

      In my day spelling errors in those sentences would have cost you marks in any test or exam, not just in an examination in English. That was a long time ago though.

    • All notes will have the new monarch on them soon.

      Ohh, you meant coke, from those thieving grief-mongers oop north 🙂

  4. That is hilarious! I’ve just spat my tea out. It’s the sort of thing you’d expect to read in Viz if Biffa Bacon got into the forgery racket. William Hickson – Britain’s daftest cunt.

    • Why aye, man. The 20 poond would have had a pic of Biffa taking a leathering off Fatha while Mutha waited to chin him with a frying pan!

      • The £5 pooond note would have the Fat Slags on it.

        “Ah promise to pay the bearer a sucking off for ‘alf a bag ‘o chips. Hadaway an’ shite”

  6. No doubt this fellow is a thick criminal cunt but also the story shines a light on our bloated bureaucratic “justice” system..

    A child could tell the money was fake,no need for an “expert” to be consulted..the cunt was arrested for another suspected crime so off to court for more in no doubt a long line of useless hearings and attached sob stories.

    The bloke is a useless cunt out for bother,no doubt to the detriment of society,so just hang him.

    As for his Poonds find the forger for the oven.

    Morning all.

    • Morning Tel,

      You can bet there’s some eastern European mafia thugs involved somewhere along the line.

      Still, when you think about it, forgery is no different to what the Gov does on a daily basis, issuing notes of no real value backed by nothing.

  8. Quantitative Easing Geordie-style….has Rishi asked him to take over at The Treasury yet ?

    • I doubt if he’ll get the call from Rishi, he’s not black for a start, or went to Eton.
      Mind you, his bent twenties can only be marginally more worthless than a real one at the moment.
      Morning by the way.

      • Morning,FMC

        He slipped up at Court by not blaming Putin…. or perhaps he could have said that he planned to spend them at McDonalds….” Eat Out to Help Out”

  10. Blootered forgers.
    Fucking useless.
    Mind you, passing these notes in places like Newcastle is probably pretty easy, as the populace is permanently pissed anyway.
    Good morning.

  11. It looks like a good forgery to me, so I’m surprised he got caught. I’ve just bought my breakfast at Greggs with Monopoly money and the daft bitch behind the counter didn’t twig.

    • I love a decent sausage roll. And I don`t mean those nasty vegan ones. I like them stuffed with loads of meat such that I can just about get my mouth around them, slurping and sucking their insides out.

  12. If the police have to call in an expert to confirm they were forgeries, then he had a pretty good chance of spending them before being caught.

    • The police where playing it safe, after out of work actor Tim Healy was seen coming off shift at the Toon Mint.

  14. I particularly liked the comment..

    The existence of counterfeit money undermines the economic system.’

    Fuck me the tories have been fucking the economic system for the past 12 years.

  15. The authorities impoonded the poonds eh.
    The forger was the talk of the Toown
    The judge ruled that he was soond of mind
    But the scoondrel was hiding behind in his eyes
    The sentence was harsh enough but suspoonded quickly on wrapping up
    After all his granny had just died.
    He thanked the judge and said that was soond as a poond

  16. The experts would have been called in to examine the notes and attest that there was nothing disrespectful or hurty towards the alphabet people and other deviants.
    If by some chance this had occurred then poond man would be rightly fucked with an automatic 45 to life no parole.
    Hail the woke for it is good for some.

  17. I wonder how many are still in circulation? I saw a documentary once about Geordie Brainbox , Paul Gascoigne, during his brief spell in China. He bought a Rolex off some bloke for about £15 and he genuinely thought he’d ripped the geezer off.
    What a cunt.

    • Ha, Gazza got done! I bought a Rolex off a gadgie on the Newcastle quayside market once for 5 poond. He had loads of them in his suitcase and I remember he kept looking over his shoulder for some reason. Still, I got a real bargain that day.
      It didn’t work mind.

  18. Those notes are as convincingly authentic as Brenda Blethyn’s Geordie accent in TV’s Vera.

    Haddaway an shite, pet.

  20. That’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen on here. Twenty poond! Fucking priceless 😂😂

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