Primark

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.Why is every other news item I see in news feed about this tat shop?

Daily Record News Link

Here’s an example, but every story is about shoppers “rushing” to buy the latest “dupe”, whatever the fuck that is, or being “shocked, gobsmacked, amazed, etc”. Insert your own superlative here.

Whatever happened to stories about vacuous tarts having the Greggs logo tattooed on their arse?
Simpler times, eh?

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

57 thoughts on “Primark”

  2. It’s always full of smelly pakis I’ve been informed so they could be giving velvet capes and sword canes away with every purchase of cheap leggings and I’d still give them a resounding Fuck Off You Cunts.

  3. A crushingly soul destroying experience awaits anyone who dares to walk through one of these delightful stores.

    The Mrs, on occasion, (normally around Christmas) insists on venturing inside SkidMark to browse the worthless generic tat in there, while I insist on waiting outside. Even if it’s pissing down.

    • Being posh I don’t shop in this poorhouse Prada
      .
      All these millennials snowflakes shouldn’t either,
      It’s made by some 6yr old in the 3rd world.
      Virtue signalling points deducted I’m afraid.

      Good nom JP👍

      Ps
      You don’t buy your kimonos there do you?

      • No, my two Happi coats came from Japan.
        Both are hand stitched and one is pure silk.
        I’ve told you, over and over, I don’t own a kimono, or any other kimono style garment of any description.
        Even my dressing gown is the standard, vaguely tartan like garment, that looks like it’s made from an old rug/curtain.

  5. Thank you, Admin, for correcting the typo.

    Dad joke:

    A Catholic priest, a Protestant vicar and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.
    A nurse asks the rabbit what blood group it is.
    “Oh” says the rabbit, ” I’m probably a typo”

  6. Shit shop for the aspiring chav, now a shit shop for the aspiring chav who has money or is good a thieving 😂

  7. There was some pillock, desperate for her 15 seconds of fame, complaining that her pleather/faux furlined coat cost her £55.
    I hope it fucking disintegrates the first time she wears it in the rain, silly twat.

  8. Primark… to pricey for me..I just bin dip clothing banks, I got my last job interview suit out of one of them..must of worked I’m now dame keirs new policy director..

  9. On the subject of cheap as chip shops no longer being cheap, has anyone noticed there’s not a lot in Poundland these days that actually a pound?
    Should Trading Standards be involved, here?

    • T-shirts that last a weekend,
      Jeans that’ll disintegrate in the wash.
      Throwaway fashion.
      Not very green is it?

      My underpants are 15yrs old.
      They’re very green.

  11. Whenever I go past Primark (on my way to the charity shop to buy Lady Creampuff some underwear) there’s usually some chav bint outside with a pram arguing with a security guard accusing her of shoplifting.

    Thing is, why would anyone choose to filch from Primark when there’s a perfectly good Marks and Sparks just opposite? Especially when you can shoplift up to £200 worth of goods per shop now without fear of prosecution.

  12. Never been in a Primark but it can’t be any different to the shit on sale anywhere else

    These Teenage Cunts are very stupid though They will pay over £100 on a pair of nike Trainers and think they are getting a bargain

    The more expensive the Trainers bigger the Cunt seems to buy them

    • I moved a customer the other day LL,
      She had more tattoos than me, and she had over 80 pairs of trainers.
      All in the original boxes.

      Chavtastic!!👍

  13. I’d like to see Angie Rayner dressed in cheapo Primark leopard skin print clobber.
    And dead common black knickers. 💋
    I’d howl like a junkyard dog and tear the lot off with my teeth, except for the velvet choker with faux diamond.
    Then we’d mate, like polecats on crack 💪😀
    Good evening.

    • Hehehe 😄
      I’d like to see Angie pissed, bit dishevelled, chewing gum and swearing at passers-by.

      Wearing a stained mini skirt and low top,
      I’d act all David Niven,
      Offer her a fag or a chip,
      Then over a bottle of cider I’d work my magic!

      Flattery
      “Your stretch marks hardly show do they!”

      As I yanked on her ginger mop I’d stretch her balloon knot till it tore and squirt my gravy all over her back.

      Then give her 50p towards her bus fare.

      She’d love it❤️

      Evening Jack 👍

    • Angie can afford it took a 5,000 loan for a boob job.. seems a waste of money. Should of spent it on tightening that slack snatch up..

  15. I wouldn’t rush your shop in there due to the risk of being set alight with everything being made from inflammable materials. Its an accident waiting to happen.

  16. Clothes made in Pakistani sweat shops and Chinese concentration camps.
    So not all bad then.

  17. You never hear that mentioned on mainstream media in regards to Chinese concentration camps.

    Just how fashion conscious they all are.

    • Fleeing the UK, with everything you own.. what were those Jews ever complaining about 80 years ago.

      • The Mirror makes no mention of his own racism and anti-Semitism.
        Funny enough.👎

        Good riddance.
        Yorkshire smells slightly sweeter by their departure.

    • “Bravery and courage”
      Fuck me sideways.
      If he’s so brave, why’s he fucking off?
      Probably a topic for another cunting, so I’ll shut up now.
      Night all, the Priest is off to bed because
      A. I is tired and
      B. I have to get up at stupid o’clock tomorrow.
      Sweet dreams. I’m still thinking about MNC and rabbit skins.
      Disturbing.

  19. Never been in the chav magnet Primart, never been fashion stupid, not worn plimsolls (trainers) since 1975 at school.
    Been a complete sack of shit ever since boots and Jeans t shirt that’s it.
    I’d be a ideal cover model for War on Wants house magazine.

      • Yes Gary says-‘It’s a big platform and I try to use it for what I think are important issues as well as having a bit of fun and promoting things in my job and talking about football.’

        Notice the talking about football tacked on at the end.

  21. What is a Primark? Sounds common.

    My worry is clothing companies skimping on cloth.

    Socks? No longer can you just grab them because they’re the right colour. Check how long they are. Most of them now are those things that don’t even go up to your ankle.

    Ties made for midgets. ‘Trousers’ cut off at the shins and/or made for ‘men’ with matchstick legs and no knackers. Shirts that now don’t tuck properly into your trousers, but your old ones do. Skimping on length again.

    Trendy? Oh it wouldn’t be businesses skimping on materials and therefore, costs would it?

    Still, if this trend continues, we might see fit birds out in ‘t-shirts’ like bras and ‘skirts’ like postage stamps.

    Sounds good until you realise most young bints nowadays are fat, ugly cunts.

  22. Off topic, but loads of Premier League footballers going off the pitch ‘sick’ or calling in sick (Sterling etc) or getting ‘injured’ and needing to be subbed early on today.

    World Cup starts Sunday (how shit is that? Should be a Friday like always.)

    Pure coincidence all these ‘sicknesses’ and ‘injuries’ just a few days before the World Cup.

    I just hope Wokegate promotes gayness and trannies in Qatar to the point he gets chased around the stadium by the scimitar wielding religious police. The big nosed wanker.

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