Nighttime Cyclists [18] (with no lights)


I wish to nominate nightime cyclists who think it is perfectly acceptable to cycle on the roads without lights.

Tonight at around 8:30pm, one almost met his end as raspberry compote, when I was driving along a dark, foggy, country lane and this fucking buffoon was weaving around on his velocipede. Luckily I spotted the cunt before he ended up as a bonnet mascot.

I mean, what fucking cretin thinks drivers have special, infra-red night vision? These tossers deserve, 100%, to be left resembling an undercooked mix grill by the roadside.

Fuck off.

Nominated by: Paul Maskinback

71 thoughts on “Nighttime Cyclists [18] (with no lights)

  1. No comments from lord fiddler, i can only assume he is scrapping a cyclist out of he’s hilux bull bars..

  2. I live in the countryside so it’s not too much of an issue most days, only at weekends do you the lycra-clad ones struggling up an incline, and it’s usually easy to zip past.

    I did nearly hit a chav scrote cycling between towns at half-elevwen one night. No lights on his child’s BMX, dark hoodie and dark jogger/jeans. Nothing illuminated of reflective (even the brain).

    After passing I was so incensed i turned around further up the road and went back, then shouted, ‘get some FUCKING lights, you chav CUNT!’ as I went past again.

    What a cunt.

  3. When was the last time one of these cretins got fined? Fat chance of that.

  4. If I have time, I drive past the cunts, and then turn around and drive towards them with full beam on. They’re often seen wobbling around, blinded, heading towards the ditch. Marvellous.

  5. Picture the scene, the police have closed the road outside the village church for the Remembrance Day parade. Said road is full of people gathered to pay their respects. Cars are using an alternative route. Along comes Mr Lycra clad cockwomble on his bicycle – what does he do next? Does he a) dismount his bicycle and join with those gathered to sing a hymn and pay their respects? or, b) push his way through the crowd to ensure he gets to whichever destination he so desparately wishes to?
    This actually happened last Sunday and I’m not a believer but I prayed that the disrespectful piece of scum ended the morning under a lorry. And the cunt had a 3 million lumen strobe light attached to his handlebars throughout.

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