A curtain-twitching “Mr Grimsdale, Mr Grimsdale” cunting for the nosy, interferring, stool-pigeon- (ahchachacha)- like cunts who are already ‘phoning the police to report breaches of a hosepipe ban that’s not even in fucking force!
Devon and Cornwall constabulary have taken over one thousand calls from the aforementioned cunts. I’ll bet they’re part of those Community Speed Watch fuckers, too.
Fuck off and die, you miserable, petty, finger-wagging, dull fucking Spawn of Beelzebub.
Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt
Good Morning,
We don’t have a water meter and I am paying nearly £500 a year for a product which fall out of the sky. If I want to use a hose I will. Any water company imposing a hosepipe ban should have the directors substantially fined and/or a term in clink for failing in their duties whilst drawing enormous salaries
33
May I suggest getting a check meter fitted (not a utility meter for billing).
My Dad was paying £60 a month based on the size of his house.
Turns out he only uses about 2000 litres a month (2 cubic meters), at £4.50 per cube supply and wastewater.
Including standing charges, his last bill was for £210 for the year. . Which is a big difference from £720.
1
They’d have loved living in East Germany. Clearly bullied at school (with good reason) and haven’t got over it. Cunts.
17
My work is a bit like this. Most of them are on social media all the time , including some managers ,slagging each other off then reporting each other because they have been offended. One dim cunt was on there bragging about how he’d put in a claim for some overtime he didn’t do and management saw it. Then there are the intellectual giants who ring in sick, then boast about the great day out they had at Alton Towers, including photos. It beggars belief how fucking thick these people are, but the funniest thing is how they all think they are amongst friends.
3
Good nom DCI👍
These types do the government and polices work for them .
Throughout history some nosey fucker has been grassing on their neighbours to the powers that be.
“She’s in the attic!”
When the 1st lockdown happened and nobody really knew what the fuck was going on,
They said you could have 2 half hour exercise breaks outdoors.
A fat cunt near me said to me,
“Your breaking the rules!
You’ve been out with that dog twice already”
I told him
“How’s the family?
You had them all round last week didn’t you?”
Cunt never spoke to me again.
The fat grassing twat.
39
Great point about Anne Frank, Mis, very poignant indeed. What boiled my piss was the fact that these feckless cunts had been calling BEFORE there were any restrictions- “Ooh, Mr Grimsdale, number 27’s using a hosepipe, sir, sir” – so, imagine what the fuckers are like when there are?
Bastards.
16
They were probably all school prefects, and have never had any other authority in their 60 plus years on this planet. The spouse would be one of them, if she could be bothered to waddle out of her chair. Trouble is she would miss a bit of “classic” Emmerdale Farm,but there are always the advert breaks, so the neighbour have been warned.
12
I don’t hold with tell tale tits but do the plod and governments job. They themselves won’t ever do it all any government as done for the last 20 years is make plods job virtually impossible and now plod have become maladroit at solving anything except hurty words on twatter.
16
maladroit
…..fuck me, now there’s a word you don’t see used often.
8
Is this really true?
I have been out of the UK too long it seems.
I have just looked it up. As a domestic customer you cannot change your water supplier.
So a company that you have no choice but to use can restrict a supply that you are already paying for and fine you up to £1,000 for not following their imposed rules which are not classed as criminal.
They are allowed to get away with this?
All the while they are wasting millions of litres of water every day through badly maintained pipework.
Britain is an island surrounded by water (obviously) which can be desalinated for an endless supply.
It also rains almost every fucking day.
Come to a country where there may only be significant rainfall a handful of times a year and see how water is managed.
The last time that it rained properly here in Spain was March.
We have had no restrictions, no guidelines about how to manage our water.
It’s the water companies in the UK that should be taken to court.
27
And these fucking curtain twitchers would not be so quick to grass on their neighbours if they knew that they would have to go to court and testify.
15
We are governed by twats
13
..it’s because the water companies effectively get their ‘product’ they sell to us for free.
Whereas dryer countries go to great lengths to have to extract it, import it, or desalinate it….which all costs money, therefore the end product…ie clean water is valued much more as a cost commodity to the business.
If the government decided thye ‘owned all the water that falls in the UK, then sold it to the water companies, rest assured the water companies would very soon stop leaks, or dumping it in the sea etc.
10
Do you know who was like this?
Dennis Rader. Otherwise known as ‘BTK’, one of the most horrific serial killers ever.
Always grassing on neighbours and trying to get dogs put down etc.
He also (like these cunts no doubt) pretended to be a ‘pillar of the community’ to avoid suspicion.
Most of them are probably deviants. Check their homes for Fritzl rooms, under the patio for bodies and in the back of wardrobes for a stash of necrophiliac home videos.
17
This types deserve to have their letterbox pissed through – ‘Report that, you cunt!’
Any cunt worried about hosepipe-ban breakers should move to Cumbria instead of snitching. Plenty of fucking water here! Obviously, I’m not including the shaded types in that suggestion, don’t want any filth infesting this green & pleasant land.
18
Unpaid informants.
I’m not fuckin interested in my neighbours or their business ,
Unless it directly effects me,..crack on.
I certainly wouldn’t inform on them for a government I despise or a police force to busy monitoring social media and dancing the macarena.
Informing on others is the work of sneaky, low, busybody cunts.
I don’t even have a hosepipe!!
11
Seen all-sorts down the years MNC. Dodgy people tend to trust me for some reason, but I do keep my trap shut and my nose out of others business.
Seen huge drug stashes (allegedly I may have been dreaming etc) another goody two shoes who had machines making those ‘gold cards’ for itv digital (remember those?)
Fuck knows why they showed me so easily after not knowing me that long. I look like a grizzly hard nut (I’m not hard at all though, right soft cunt really) so perhaps that’s why?
One lad offered me a lot money (four figures) to look after his stash for a week in my cellar once. Politely refused and I was shocked the guy was into all that – just seemed a quiet lad from the snooker team to me. Although he was never fucking skint looking back!
I might start wearing skinny red jeans and put mascara on, to stop dodgy cunts I randomly meet thinking I’m some kind of hardened criminal.
I’m a right shithouse and would probably shit my pants if a copper as much as pulled me up for dropping a sweet wrapper.
Leave me alone you dodgy cunts. I’m not Mad Frankie Fraser for fuck’s sake.
10
I’m sorry to go political on this but i remember in 1976 when we were promised that the water infrastructure to move water about the country in pipes/canals would be installed so that a water shortage would ‘never happen again’. Cue fuck all being done and constant hosepipe bans over the years since. Yes, the curtain twitchers (who are always, but always women who desperately need to visit the dentist and also in urgent need for electrolysis for their facial hair) are cunts, yes the water companies are cunts but in the final analysis its the lying, useless politicians who are the real cunts and from which all the other cunts cascade down from in their cuntery.
13
Yes DK I remember all that bollocks about building a water national grid. Bit like the amazing amount of planning that governments invested in our energy security over last 30 years the square route of fuck all being the result. Fucking pathetic. Any way now let’s get onto the real important stuff, Paltrow wears a really short skirt and police were called to a rehearsal of strictly come dancing as a transgender activist was trapped on a lighting gallery whilst abusing contestants.
The American government have declared Kim Kardashian’s arse a national monument. This is the real news.
7
Slide them into your special heater please Unkle T
7
MPs will get around any hosepipe ban by having a 60 foot water tank and pump installed on ‘expenses’.
The fucking shithouses.
When people are freezing this winter, it will be a comfort to many that hundreds of MPs will be leaving the heating on full blast all day, safe in the knowledge that we’ll pay their bills for them.
It would be just terrible if an angry mob dragged them out of their homes and…erm…gave them a proper telling off or something.
19
Aye, drag their snouts out of the trough & give the bastards the Mussolini treatment; that’ll cure ‘em of their lust for power.
12
I suppose that the natural progression of water consumption restrictions, in this time of an alleged energy crisis, will be the restriction of using too much electricity.
Quite easy to impose when using smart meters I think.
Any household using more than 3Kw of power per hour for more than an hour a day will be fined a punitive amount by their supplier.
Of course, all suppliers will need to sign up for this but that won’t be a problem for those cunts.
It will happen.
12
The old lady over the road uses a walking frame. She cant lift a watering can so uses a small spray connection on her hose. Photographed her doing this and dobbed the fucker up.
Righteous.
22
Even worse for those in Jockland.
I heard they’ve been telling kids to grass up parents if they say something a bit ‘offensive’ at the dinner table.
Sturgeon Youth, I think they call it.
Cunts.
14
I wonder how many black or Asian kids would have their reports investigated.
How many black or Asian parents will have a visit for ‘re-education’?
11
Morning CB…have you read 1984?
There’s a chapter where Winston Smith’s neighbours’ kids are encouraged to do this…join ‘The Spies’ and turn their parents over to the Ministry for “wrongthink”.
13
Indeed I have read it.
I think politicians need to realise it was a warning not a fucking policy guidance manual.
12
Low life vermin filth. The sort that grass on folk for watering their gardens but turn a blind eye to a mudslime grooming gang operating in the rental house two doors down from them.
Utter Cunts.
14
“You can’t leave that helicopter, there”
Said the interferring cunt.
“Keys are in it, you move it”
was the reply.
True story, that! (A looong time ago – you’d probably get cashiered, nowadays).
11
Hehehe 😄
Yeah,
“Can’t park there”
Where’d you like me to park? On your roof?
What’s it got to do with you? Fuck off.
I’ve got a water key.
For turning off the water on the street.
Hard to get nowadays,
Forget B&Q,
Got mine from a old school Hardwear shop in Rochdale years ago.
But anyone comes the cunt round here will find I’m willing to turn off the water every day between 9am- 6pm.
Report that you mong.
8
There were some “Community Speed Watch” pricks in a village on my way home and, as I rode past them on a quiet motorbike at 28mph, they kept their radar device pointed towards me even as I rode past slowly, the sad, spiteful old pricks.
I saw the same fuckers a week later whilst on a GSX-R 1000 with a full racing exhaust which I bounced off the red line in neutral as I went past them.
Hopefully they had heart attacks, the nosy, self important wankers.
Childish and obnoxious of me, but fuck them.
22
Ha ha! Good skills, Thomas! Not professional, (but, what’s got two thumbs and doesn’t give a fuck?), but when ‘on the bell’, I make a point of going past these cunts as fast and as loud as possible, hitting the ‘Pulse’ tone – long, loud, continuous laser-like – just to make the cunts stick their fingers in their ears.
Keep up the good work!
10
As I live in Suckdick Khunt’s London, there are those LED signs that flash up with your speed and a happy or frowny face if your doing more than 20mph. These are now being reinforced with ‘speed partnership’ cunts.
The local busybodies have been armed with a radar gun and some hi Viz vests and think they are in Miami vice.
I like to approach stealthily with the housewolf and stand right behind them until they notice us.
After the immediate shock of seeing a green eyed psychopath with a wolf on a string, they get a bit shaky, pack up and piss off within a couple of minutes.
If you think you may have been clocked for speeding at 30mph in the Kensington area recently and the ticket didn’t come through…
You’re welcome. 😁
3
Childish and obnoxious works for me!!
0
The daft old cunt next door is one of these spies and also gossips like a raving homosexual.
The only thing I’d use a hosepipe for is to strangle the boring shit weasel with it.
Curtain twitching Cunts.
13
Perhaps one way of getting your own back is to do the watering wearing a covid mask, sunglasses and maybe a
MAGA Cap.
Then if the nosey bastards are filming you there’s no way they’d get a positive ID and if they pursue it refuse to pay the fine and go to court then the witness is named and then you can pay them a cost with a brick through their window.
9
Or better still wear a full Hijab and other Alan Snackbar fancy dress then claim ‘waycist’ when the rozzers turn up.
6
That reminds me, CMC…I must retrieve my balaclava from the loft ready for the upcoming gas/elec expense riots.
The only reason those “Kill the Bill” nitwits in Bristol were caught and charged is because they were prancing round like gaylords, unmasked and in front of cameras assuming that there’d be no consquences for burning a police car.
Haven’t we all seretly wanted to attend a riot and go looting?
Go the full “ape” as it were.
This winter, things’ll finally come to a head and explode with more force than Mr Fiddler losing himself whilst watching footage of Ellie Simmonds attempting to swim.
10
I keep mine under the boot floor Thomas along with handcuffs, an assortment of gags and ladies stockings.
But let’s just keep that between us ok.
6
Are you an MP?
3
The sort of people who watch documentaries on the Second World War and shake their heads at collaborators without realising they are the Gestapo’s wet dream.
Probably all sending hours of dashcam footage of people safely moving lanes on the M25 without indicating.
As they say, nobody likes a grass.
10
I have a rainwater collection tank and run a hose from that.
it’s fun to get the neighbours grassing.
7
What the fuck is this rain???
5
But is it a water butt. Couldn’t resist it.
2
It’s the fault of Mr & Mrs Reservoir for not reproducing. If they don’t meet with government guidelines, send the foreigners back home.
4
I hate to say it, DCI. But Britain now has a grassing culture. It is a nation of narks.
Partly encouraged by the government and law enforcement (‘Run! Hide! Tell!’), and also social media is littered with cunts who shamelessly grass about everything and anytihng. There is no ‘they gave me stick, so I gave it ’em back’ any more. Instead, soft arsed twats take to Twitter and grass someone up for ‘shaming’ them. And they even go as far as telling the cozzers about it. 🙄
Personally, I think anyone who grasses – about anything – should have be branded with the word ‘Grass’ across their napper. Grasses are the lowest form of cunts. I recall the poor lad who worked at Asda, who posted a video of Billy Connoly on his own private Facebook account in his own time. On the video, the Big Yin has a go at all religions. But because the peaceful concert bombers were mentioned, the bloke was grassed on by a fellow workmate and Asda actually sacked him. He was eventually reinstated, as he had done absolutely nothing wrong. But the knee-jerk reaction from Asda was a disgrace (why be so protective of the camelshaggers in the first place?), and the ‘colleague’ who grassed him up should have had their fingers and their tounge removed, so they would never do it again. Dirty snide nark woke bastard.👿
16
Asda in recent times was bought out by a few Joe Dakis.
Haven’t shopped there since.
5
That lovely lady who used to be in one of Disney’s Star Wars shows (Gina Carano). She said that the sort of social media grassing that goes on now is exactly what people did to help Nazi Germany. How dirty grassing and gossiping was well snide and that those who do it now are no better than the collaborators who aided the Gestapo and the SS.
She was right, of course. But guess what? Some cunts on Twitter grassed her up for it and those cunts at Disney sacked her for it.
Kill all grasses!☠
17
Yes! Death before dishonour is the phrase Norman.
4
Yorkshire Water imposed a hose pipe ban on the 26th August but have they sent out letters, nope. How the fuck are people supposed to know if you don’t watch local news.
I happened to see it on Look North, some tart from Yorkshire Water ‘we don’t really want people calling us to say they have seen someone using a hose, we would rather you have a quiet word with your neighbour’
The cunts impose a ban but don’t tell anyone and they expect Joe public to do the policing, yes fuck off.
The cunts wouldn’t have a leg to stand on in court, how can you fine someone if they don’t know they haven’t been officially informed…. Complete Bullshit
In January the fuckers were dumping water for fear of flooding, maybe get some more storage built and fix the bloody leaks
Big pipe from Scotchland, it never stop pissing down up there 😂
7
Apoligies for going off topic. But Pakistan can fuck off and all.
‘This is Shamim, she has 14 kids with another one on the way. Please send your money now!’ Money? Fucking money?! Send fucking contraception, more like.
Oxfam can get to fuck too. ‘Send us just thirty pounds a month.’ Up your arse.
And anyway, the place is surely virtually empty. Aren’t all the cunts over here? I see scores of them in the hospital every week, babbling on their fucking phones and keeping me awake, cunts. And, how many have ever paid in? I think we all know the answer to that one. They can fuck off.
16
And I’m still trying to get over that one that showed its smelly arse right opposite me the other week. 🤢🤢🤢🤢
11
Knock on the Door
‘Please can you donate to the floods in Pakistan’
‘I would love to but there is a hosepipe ban and anyway it only reaches to the end of the garden’
13
Welcome to Britain.The toilet bowl of the world 🌎.
4
Give these curtain-twitchers the Chinese burn.
5
I can’t stand “tittle-tattle” merchants….I’ve been reported to various ” Agencies” over the years with varying outcomes for myself and whoever I suspected of reporting me.
6
I am sure some of the reports were well deserved 😂
8
All vile lies and calumny invented to smear my impeccable reputation….it’s a fucking disgrace,that’s what it is.
7
Does that include the reports by Gemma Arterton about being locked in your basement until she agreed to milk a cow blindfolded?
6