Direct Sales Agencies

Right, I’m nominating direct sales agencies (and the people who fall for their bullshit).

BBC News Link

Seriously, how unbelievably stupid do you have to believe this crap? I’m not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed and even I can see that such ‘companies’ are little more than scams designed to manipulate the egos of stuck up graduates who won’t ‘lower’ themselves to proper work.

It’s very disappointing that the pair of morons in the article ended up getting legitimate ‘professional’ jobs despite their arrogance and stubbornness, and even more disappointing that such organisations exist in the first place.

Nominated by: OpinionatedCunt

38 thoughts on “Direct Sales Agencies

  1. Hehehe 😄 suckers.
    Matt whining about challenge Friday 😄
    Soft twat.
    They cut off his top knot!!!
    That’s just banter you tart.
    Chilli eating challenges,
    Press ups,
    Fuckin good laugh!
    The po faced fucker.

    As for the Klingon chick.
    Tough shit.
    Get a job at the BBC .

  2. Fuck me, there’s nothing new under the sun. I used to do this as a teenager. Bloke used to drive us round in a van and we would knock on doors trying to sell household cleaning products. Also used to sell ice cream and Corona (the drink not the batshit flu) from a barrow on Sunday afternoons when all the shops were shut.
    This is essentially the same thing except you have to wear a suit and learn American corporate bullshit. It’s no job for a grown man.

  3. If something appears to be too good to be true, it invariably is.

    I’ve got some snake oil for sale if they want to get rich quick!

    • I have a market for snake oil in Nigeria, I just need some funds to get it off the ground, send me £50,000 and I will make you a fortune selling your snake oil

      Thank you
      Honest Umbongo Katanga

  4. What a cunt “6 figures within a year was more than any other graduate scheme”

    Yes more than Goldman Sachs grads make in Year 1 but this didn’t set off any alarm bells, the dozy cunt

  5. Nothing new about this shit. Sales – insurance, Tupperware etc have been doing it for decades. Sometimes they are pyramid schemes as well.
    Some can make money at it. Most cant but the organisation carries zero risk.
    Tailor made for a degree in gender studies or similar.

  6. The article would be more relatable if they actually took the time to inform what both the subject chracters were trying to sell.

    I am still none the wiser as to what products or services this type of ’employment’ attracts

  7. Typical of today’s youth, they all want a job that starts at 10am, ends at 2pm, with an hour for lunch as well as two 15 minute breaks. Oh, and at least £100k a month salary.
    Also, they expect someone to knock at their door with the job offer, because their second class degree in ‘media studies’ makes them so employable.
    Clueless about covers it.

    • The worst ones are those that will turn down jobs if the employer does not share their ‘values’, ie some simping wet lettuce woke pussies personal pronouns or their stance on climate change.

      The people I worked with in every job I had, I had no idea how they voted or whether the Gays made their skin crawl because it was none of my fucking business and mine theirs. Nowadays its almost part of the interview process.

    • Bad jobs are good for you.
      It makes you appreciate how lucky you are when you have a half decent job.

      Thats the trouble with young fuckers.

      Turn up day one and expect to be managing director despite not being able to sweep the shop floor.

  8. One of my first jobs was an awful telesales job when I was about 18 or 19.

    We had a cunt of a boss who’d rant and rave at us daily for ‘not hitting targets’. Said he could hit the target everyday with his eyes closed when he did our job etc.

    I’d had enough and was about to quit, but I thought I’d have a laugh with it before he left. His boss (the big boss) came one day and our boss was kissing his arse. The biggest boss mentioned targets and I piped up that we could do with watching ‘a great salesman’. And that our boss said he always hit targets so we should sit listen in and watch how to do it.

    The biggest boss thought this was a great idea.

    That afternoon, we witnessed this pillock fall on his arse and not make a single fucking sale (while the rest of us made a few each).

    He said he had ‘a bad luck of the draw’ and other shite.

    I recall his scowl at me as he was forced to get on the phone by his boss with a, “Show them how it’s done!”

    I didn’t go back after that and never did a sales job again.

    • While I was at university I worked 3 nights at a pub and 2 for AutoTrader (if I remember correctly) selling advertising space to individuals selling their cars. There was no cold calling, in the true sense, as we simply used the adverts in the local paper as leads. I was surprised how many people stumped up to advertise their car in a specialist magazine and I made decent money each week, certainly more than I earned those 3 nights in the pub.

  9. “Make thousands per week with this unique product before word gets out”
    We will supply the first 100 applicants with these products with a discount price of 50% and within weeks you will wish you had more.
    The retail price of these unique products are 150 pounds each and if you apply now they will cost you only 5000 pounds for the minimum purchase order of 100 units . Hurry as this offer is limited for simpletons who think money grows on trees

      • Yes E Wallace, it does grow on trees for the powers that be.
        Sanctions are going well, lets gouge more hikes out of the working that cannot afford an actual trip to the countryside because they actually and really pay their bills with hard earned.

  10. Sounds just the job for my daughter’s terminally unemployed brother-in-law who graduated with some Mickey Mouse business degree (plus a Master’s) a few years back, despite failing GCSE maths and being unable to tie his own shoelaces, the annoying fuckwitted twat.

  11. Back in the mid 80’s there were loads of newly established financial adviser firms which used to advertise jobs in the papers. Usually some bullshit such as ‘Earn £16,000 per annum in exciting new company… blah blah blah’

    Now £16,000 was big money back then, so I phoned up and went along to some office in Oxford Street, expecting an interview, and instead was given a form to fill in and was shown into a room where there were a load of other mugs filling in forms. Then some slick oily looking cunt came in, wearing a sharp suit, snazzy tie and probably white socks. He rattled on about the firm and how exciting it was etc….before telling us what the job was. Basically, canvassing on the street with a clipboard all day, and getting paid by commission for anyone who agreed to an appointment with these cowboys, and then opened an account with them.
    I thought, fuck that, and walked out, as did many others.

    • Sort of like the time share shitehawks you used to encounter on holidays abroad.
      My other half, bless, was a soft touch.
      Me, what bit of fuck off and stop mithering us don’t you understand, sonny?

    • Painful parallel to my own sales job in that locale,deffo Oxford Street around the same time.’Thoro-Glaze’ no less,winduz hawkers.My first ever venture in employment.New suit from Burtons.Head spinning with lofty tales of the boss’s Porsche habit and early retirement plans and sat in a seated circle with a wide demographic of initiates to the cult.(One girl was an Oxford grad) The vibes were horrific like l would envision a Scientologist recruitment event,ended up barfing up on the Axminster with…nerves and bid adieu to carpetbaggery never to return.

      Moved into trade-plating for the next decade.Professional hitchhiker lol.

  12. Any company commission only, self employed fuck off. I asked the cunts “how can I be self employed if I am only allowed by contract to do your work?” I only went to the interview because I could not believe what a mate had told me. Did not get the position obviously not that I wanted said position I just wanted to observe cunts in the wild so to speak.

  13. no different to all the other scams, go-fund some dead aspiring rapper, or donate to ukraine pole dancers with aids, burn-loot-murder are fund raising again because of some drug dealing murderer getting blasted but will use the cash to buy another mansion to shootup heroin in…every mug that gives money to these cunts deserves to starve

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