Fat People (5)

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(Just out of frame is the Cunstable about to make his entrance from behind – Day Admin)

While many of us are technically overweight, there are many who have crossed that line into becoming a burden on the rest of society. The ones who force the rest of us to accommodate them because they have this self inflicted condition:

  • The dad who is too fat to play with his kids or keep up when on outings.
  • The fat fuck on the motorized grocery scooter blocking the isle.
  • The one who has to be craned out the rooftop when they need to go to the hospital or morgue.
  • The one whose family is heartbroken at all the medical issues they have because of their horrible diet.
  • The one who insists they are “perfect just the way they are”.
    Those who gross out the rest of us by wearing shorts and sandals exposing their nasty purple legs and unkempt feet.
  • Those who need assistance of all kinds because of knee, back, hip, and joint problems galore.
  • The rotund cunt on the full plane who can’t fit between the arm rests.
  • The one everyone else has to wait on because they’re slow and always winded.
  • Those who unnecessarily burden the medical system.

These cunts piss off. Their self absorption, lack of self control, and ignoring all warning signs when choosing to shovel tons of shit into their fat fucking faces means they are selfish cunts.

We need to put the shame back into being fat. Women’s underwear adverts with fat, cellulite bitches is a travesty.

The only thing worse than a cunt is a fat cunt.

Nominated by: Meat Curtains

92 thoughts on “Fat People (5)”

  1. I like the jolly round faced ones.
    Not the yank ones!!
    They make me spew up.

    An little fat kids with page 3 titties makes me laugh.

    • The past tells a different story : very few fatties, which means either there is now a gland problem, or it’s down to diet and exercise. Obviously the latter.

      I see a business opportunity: modifying selfie sticks so fat blokes can see their dicks.

    • Mnc@ Morning Mnc/all – I stay in magnificent shape with all the running from da powlees! 😀👍

      • Foxy@

        Yes the prospect of 6-9 month prison sentence certainly gets the heart pumping!

        😁

      • There does seem to be an element of self-pity amongst these human slugs doesn’t there.

    • The other half makes loud comments when he sees a very obese person , invariably eating sausage rolls, “got to keep body and soul together!”. One fat cunt that I do enjoy though is Andrew Lawrence’s character Barry Pieface.

    • Greggs greasy shit
      Burger King heart attack
      McDonalds plastic crap
      Nando’s Perri fried faeces

  5. Oh dear – this is too near to home. It reminds me of the spouse. I fear her falling over as she would rock herself to sleep trying to get up again. She doesn’t get out much these days due to all the “classic” soaps, but when she does all the weighing machines cower and jump back into the shops. She has to get her knickers on prescription. I tld her last week that I knew one way she could get rid of 25 pounds of unslightly fat – but she wouldn’t let me cut her head off. That’s what 15 years of non-stop TV and Bounty bars does for you.

    • Hehehe! Bounty bars.

      Reminds me of the joke – Bloke goes the Drs in Newcastle and say “Docta, me wife’s cunt smells like coconut”, and the Dr says “we’ll it’s bounty”.

      Probably only mildly amusing in a Geordie accent, possibly a Belfast one too.

    • W.C.
      I know you always joke about your missus, but is she really that big, or are you over exaggerating?

      My other half has suffered on and off with weight for years.
      We eat well, she exercises as much as she can, etc.
      But it is difficult as she has a whole array of spinal issues, and has very slow metabolism which causes more issues.

      Maybe you should post a pic.
      (No, that is not a request from the horn section either!)

      • I’m happy to judge any photos of cunters women.

        Naked is best,
        Or suggestive .

        I’ll grade them fairly!

  6. Just driven through town-lots of svelte wimminz out jogging or dog walking.
    After 9.0am it will be fatties huffing & puffing their way to Greggs👎

    One observation: ethnic types seem to get fatter, the darker the skin tone, the greater the padding.

  7. Isn’t it splendid that being a fatty has become a political issue,a wimminz issue and a cause for celebration in some circles?

    Normal people used to point and laugh at them but now we have to watch them wobble about in leotards.

    Progress is a wonderful thing.

    The stupid fat cunts.

    • There’s certain people where it’s part of the job to be fat.

      Dinner ladies in schools, shows the food is edible.

      Mayor’s an politicians
      Shows you can leech off the taxpayer and thrive .

      Butchers, if a butcher looks like Karen carpenter, I’m not buying.

      But that’s chubby, plump.
      The yanks have taken it to extremes.
      You shouldn’t get out of breath by blinking.

  8. I’d rather go out on a furniture removal job with laurel and hardy and have them drop a piano on my head than would I have her sit on my face

  9. Visiting my Dad in Bexleyheath a month or so back, I noticed that every woman there is now morbidly obese with a face like a Bulldog chewing a wasp. Usually with a bunch of multicoloured kids in tow.

    My Dad and my best mate also noticed this phenomena.

    Has anyone else observed their hometown go downhill like this?

    • Sorry odin that’s like the mayor of hiroshima complaining that the grass looks overgrown..

  10. The ones that need the ramp to get on and off the bus 2 stops later, taking their time and making me lose my connecting service. They also drip sweat everywhere and smell, especially the vegans. Patchouli only makes you smell worse fat cunt

  11. I was in the States a couple of months back. Fuck me, over there they really know how to do ‘morbidly obese cunt’. Fair play to them, it must take some serious dedication. The lard and mobility scooter markets must be worth fucking billions.

  12. Should just withdraw all high BP medication on the NHS if you are a monstrous fat cunt. That might solve the issue.

    The worst ones are those who go , I’m fine , I love myself and it is perfectly healthy.

    No decades of irrefutable empirical evidence says otherwise , so fuck off fatty , you can’t just chuck that out the window because some cunt who thinks men can be women said “you go girl” on Instagram.

    Fuck off

  13. My mate has a fucking massive wife who is an ex heavy smoker. To keep himself fit he’d take his neighbours dog out during lockdown whilst she sat at home. Worried that he would bring covid into the house via the dog ffs she stopped him walking the dog.
    He said they can’t go away because she’s too fat to walk any distance and is still fearful of covid.
    For better or for worse? Just fuck off.

    • I’d double down and start cooking very high calorie , processed carb, high bad fat meals for her and encourage significant gin consumption.

      Hopefully solve the problem and then he can get back to walking the poor old dog

  14. During the covid pandemic I got into the habit of shopping at my local Tesco’s when it opened at 7am ,
    the aisles empty of people , no charity chuggers harassing you , just in and out JOB done, it’s something I have continued with so yesterday at 7.15am I approached Tesco’s front doors and there was a human whale of a lady who didn’t notice me passing as she had her snout firmly parked in a Family sized bag cheesy somethings WTAF!! , It’s 7.15am and she’s mowing down a pillowcase sized bag of absolute shite , after I’d spent 20 minutes I exited Tescos only to find shamu still draped over the wall now clutching a family sized bar of dairy milk chocolate between her flabby flippers, with greggs just over the road surly it was only a matter of time before she darkened their doors……..🤷‍♂️

  15. On freeview ch 82 they show a program called ” look at life” short films from the fifties/sixties showing life in Britain.

    Not a fat tattooed fucker in leggings to be seen, no costa/ mc Donald’s shite blowing down the street, very few ethnicities screwing us over.
    People look slimmer- tidier- well manored. Where did it all go wrong…?

    • Politicians are largely to blame JM.

      The taxpayer funded layabout lifestyle that also encourages the “it’s not my fault ” irresponsible mentality.

      Oh and every cunt of a government expanding the above with added unlimited immigration.

      The dirty little fuckers.

    • I was always told by my mum, and others, that the sixties were a great time to be alive.
      From what I have seen and heard, in some cases I would agree.

    • @JM. Hippies and the growth of liberalism. Legalisation of bumfoolery. Abolishing the death penalty, immigration etc. etc.That’s where it went wrong.
      After the 50’s, everything got progressively fucked up.
      Welcome to the jungle.
      Good morning.

    • Glory days
      Simpler times , no social media wank , No EU
      No woke wankery …..,,

  16. She looks suspiciously like Peter Kay.
    Maybe it’s his twin sister.
    Peter looks skeletal in comparison.

  17. I blame food banks, if they weren’t available cunts would have to buy food rather than Mars bars and crisps (assuming they have leftover cash after buying the obligatory dozen scratch cards)

    There is no excuse to be fucking fat, not talking a few extra pounds but cunts who could shed half their body weight. I have to admit that I am a good half stone over my ideal weigh but women keep telling me older men need to be a little fatter, so I will continue to be attractive to women and keep my half stone 😂

  18. I worked with a fat man once.

    He would eat enormous amounts of food but only have sweeteners in his tea or coffee as sugar was fattening.

    He had 2 collections of clothes.
    One he called his ‘fat’ clothes, when in reality it should have been ‘fat’ clothes and ‘fucking fat’ clothes.

    Over the Christmas period he would reckon on putting on 4 stone in weight and have to use his ‘fat’ clothes after.
    The same after taking one of his many cruises as holidays.

    How much fucking food do you need to eat to put on 4 stone?
    The greedy cunt.

    He died young.
    Stomach cancer.

    My wife’s friend takes at least 3 cruises a year…….. And after each one has a visit to the cosmetic hospital for liposuction to hoover away the monstrous amount of fat she has put on.

    No self control.

    • Apparently 3500 calories for every pound. 49000 calories for each stone so that’s 200k calories roughly.

      It’s a staggering amount of calories. Literally gluttony is required to eat a sufficient amount of food to add more than a few pounds in a short space of time.

      Some sports require very high calorie intake but the type of food eaten is carefully chosen depending on the desired results.

      Mr Creosote isn’t an athlete I’m guessing?

  20. Grossly obese isn’t sexy.
    But then neither is the tenko look.
    Those birds that are all ribs no tits, like a RSPCA greyhound.
    Yuk.

    I like buxom❤️
    Good pair of tits,
    Child bearing hips
    A comfy ride.

    Half starved doesn’t work for me,
    Like that Nikki Chapstick or whatever the fuck she was called,
    I’d be scared of pulling bits of her off
    Or putting my hand through her ribcage if I was scuttling her!

  21. I wouldn’t want to be a fat fuck in the US. For a start there is no free health care, so being a blob must cost a fucking fortune.
    However, it’s the fact that you would make a slow easy target for one of the twice weekly mass shootings, like yesterday’s where yet another honky trump fan took his legally owned assault rifle and shot a load of kids and old folk.
    I think we had the better deal out of US independence.

  22. The adverts for diets and diet supplements don’t help much either.
    People get the wrong idea that they can easily lose weight by drinking some sort of smoothy, for example.

    The only way to lose weight is to eat much less.
    Exercise is a lifestyle change which takes too long to have much effect.
    You will need to jog a fucking long way to lose a pound in weight.

    There is no reason why anyone needs to eat everyday and certainly no reason why anyone would need to eat 3 times a day with snacks in between.

    To lose weight quickly just eat every other day. Absolutely nothing but liquids on the days that you don’t eat.
    Don’t try and compensate by eating huge amounts on your ‘eating’ days.
    Just eat sensibly.

    The initial feelings of hunger are not dissimilar to the feelings of being too full.
    You will get used to it and the weight drops off.

    • Well said TAC, only time I loose weight is when I reduce my food intake.
      The only diet that worked for me. Get the calorie intake down weight goes down. Works for me every time.

      • There are other benefits BB.

        Your grocery bill is halved.
        There is less washing up to be done.
        You can get pissed easier on an empty stomach.
        The effects are much longer term.
        You will see and feel the changes in a very short time.

        I was getting overweight.
        Not horrendously, some may have put it down to ‘middle age spread’, but I didn’t want to get to the stage where when I lost weight I would be left with any excess flabby skin which can’t be rectified.
        So I started eating every other day.

        In the first month I lost 12 kilos and felt better than I had for a long time.
        After 2 months I was happy with my weight.

        It’s easy and it doesn’t take long.

        On a serious note and just in my experience, I have found that after the quick and dramatic weight loss in the first few months your body seems to compensate for the lack of food and more weight loss is slower to achieve.

        My amateur advice would be to only use this method for a few months at a time.

      • Always good to quote an inscription allegedly found chiseled into an Egyptian tomb…”A man lives on but a quarter of what he eats,his physician on the remainder”

  24. Fat cunts irritate the fuck out of me. Most ambulances have had to have bariatric stretchers fitted at enormous – like the fat fucks they’re for – cost and we STILL have to have bariatric ambulances. Fire Brigade to assist us to get the fucking porkers out of the premises – “Follow us to ED, lads, we’ll need a hand to shift it to a trolley”. We did receive a complaint from a young student para when we complained, in the truck, about a fat fuck. Young turk said it wasn’t the pts fault! Our reply of

    “Heard of Auschwitz, son? Never saw many fat cunts come out of there, and, have you ever seen a fat Ethiopian”?

    by my crewmate and I was against Trust Values, apparently.

    • Indeed DCI.

      The mental cunts can pretend on their phones via social medium that they are happy and perhaps a few of them are..

      But the appalling burden on the NHS far outweighs individual concerns..

      No amount of silly government adverts with blek people doing yoga will change that.

      The willfully morbidly obese should be starved til no longer a menace.

      • It’s the ‘Normalisation’ of it that’s the problem, Terrence. Adverts for Fat-Fuck clobber and shite like that. Fat cunts had the piss ripped out of them when I was at school, not that there was many of the cunts, so the lard-arses had the motivation to stay away from the Tuck Shop.

        Where’s Gripper Stebson when he’s needed? Your country needs you!

  25. A simple solution to help persons of planetoid girth. Section them, the authorities would be able to do this as the person with glandular problems is a danger to themselves. Not many of these poor bastards make 60, not the real biggys anyway.
    So a controlled environment and diet obviously under medical supervision let out when a respectable weight is achieved and a strong determination not to eat like a starving Rhino is provably displayed by the ex large person.
    This is a bloody good solution. Maybe redirecting a tiny fraction of the money that is spent on illegals would get this shrink plan started post haste. To the great benefit of the population. At least save the poor little snowflakes the horror of big Betty falling on top of them as the hospital vending machine has only one packet of Mr Cunties deep fried turkey and crackling chewy biscuit. Which is required by them more than oxygen.

  26. This obesity epidemic poses a question. How come we are told we have an ageing population? It doesnt fit with being a fat cunt. Or is it the generations after mine that are fat? (like my son Mis) In which case they should shuffle off before us.

    • Oh, and it wouldnt be me entering from behind. By the time I got through 4 inches of fat and 2 inches of hair I would have run out of dick.

  27. Is this Fanny Fiddler with Dick around the corner pulling a Snickers bar along tied to a bit of string?

  28. About 6 or 7 years ago I weighed just under 18st, which isn’t very clever being 5ft 10. But that was probably down to a relatively sedentary lifestyle at the IT company I had worked for for over 20 years. Sitting at my desk looking at banks of computer screens with only the odd trip to the datacenter every day was not really a great form of exercise.

    It was only when I had a company health-check to be told I was grossly overweight and with high blood pressure that I decided to do something about it.

    Didn’t bother with gym memberships or diet clubs. Instead I bought a treadmill, dumb bells and trainers, coupled with going on a calorie-counting diet.

    3 years later I was down to a comfortable 10st 10, and I’ve been there ever since more or less.

    Losing weight is hard work, but the well-worn formula of “eat less burn more” still works. The hard bit isn’t so much losing weight, but more to do with keeping at your target weight for as long as possible.

    Of course these days its all day to mental issues and someone else is always to blame. And now its a hate crime to call someone “fat” or even “obese”

  30. “My wife!, My wife! She weighs 20 stone… What I have to go through!” *
    (* Apologies to Max Miller)

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