The ‘Beauty’ Industry.

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(Early morning horn anyone? – Day Admin)

What a vile and exploitative world the beauty industry is.

I have a work colleague, I’ve worked with her for years but with a 6 year hiatus, I left and went to work elsewhere and she joined the company a few months ago. She is 46. She’s not what you’d call a looker but I was shocked at her appearance after not seeing her for a while.

She has Botox done regularly, lip filler that looks plain silly, hair extensions, false nails, surgically enhanced tits, bizarre hair colouration, weird eyelashes and all in all she looks a mess. Her hair looks like a rats nest after an rodent orgy.

I looked back at an older photo on her Facebook page of her before the ‘work’ and she looked much nicer.

The same thing has tragically happened to my partners granddaughter, she’s only in he very early 20s and just looks plain daft. At 16 she was a very very pretty girl, lovely figure and gorgeous. She’s gone down the ‘Love island’ route and has now homogenised into a clone of, what are obviously, her TV heroes.

The first thing that hits you is the teeth, visible from space and a shade lighter than Dulux Brilliant White and bigger than Dick Emery’s vicar’s. Then the lips, quack. Then the tits, recently made pneumatic, courtesy of an obliging surgeon in Poland.

Hair extensions are de rigueur for our aspiring wannabe, as is the perma-tan orange glow which gives her an almost irradiated appearance, reminiscent of what I’d imagine Hiroshima victims looked like immediately after the fatal flash. Add false nails, false and enormous eyelashes which look like tarantula legs, and bleached blonde hair I’m sure you’ve got the picture.

I really cannot fathom what goes through someone’s mind when they aspire to look like a plastic doll. Cunt surgeons that perform these atrocities, using their skills on bullshit fakeness should be shot. Cunt beauty parlours performing Botox and fillers should be closed.

There’s no beauty to be had there, love and embrace what you are, the rest will follow.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

77 thoughts on “The ‘Beauty’ Industry.”

  1. Not to mention the eyebrows which Gerald Scarfe, David Hemmings and Dennis Healey all would have approved of.

    • Comedy eyebrows, orange complection sort of like a wotsit ,
      and Mick Jagger lips are things I look for in a woman.

      Also a big fan of Botox
      I hate seeing expression on people’s faces and prefer the ‘frozen’ look.

      • @MNC

        Ah, that ‘frozen’ look eh?

        You go for that ‘cornered by the hammer wielding Ripper look’ then?

        Whatever floats your boat I suppose lad.

      • Hehe, Morning Cuntybollocks! 👍

        Naw, I was being sarky about the frozen look,
        That ‘hit by a van’ expression doesn’t do owt for me!

        I like a lass to gurn for me when I’m emptying my spuds.

        Show some appreciation.
        Doesn’t bother me if they’re faking either.😃

  2. It’s the Americanization of beauty. British girls always had a natural beauty. Now they are going down the American route of fake hair, shiny teeth, and plastic Barbie doll looks. Men are becoming low IQ Ken’s as well, wearing make up and toning their bodies to look like a condom bulging with walnuts.

    Don’t worry. The coming war with Russia will sort out the wheat from the chaff.

    • Those big white choppers is a thing isn’t it?
      Big fuck off Beegees teeth.

      Terrible.

      • Absolutely. I genuinely find wonky teeth more cute and attractive. The greatest contribution of NHS dentistry to British beauty. Imperfection is attractive.

      • Like Dick Emery’s vicar.

        I notice they don’t show his stuff anymore. I used to love his show as a nipper. Took the piss out of the gays, retards, and most races. He didn’t give a fuck.

        He’d be locked up nowadays.

    • Good Morning Arfur,

      I am with you all the way there.

      Our local High Street is struggling, like every other in the country. In a small town there are about half a dozen of these beauty parlours. I have an appreciation of the female form as much as any other heterosexual chap but you wouldn’t want to be seen dead with any of their clients.

    • Oh Christ Barry, don’t remind me! The ink and the metalwork…
      Absolutely stomach-turning.

    • Cosmetic tattooing is now a thing.
      And the good ones are talented making good money.
      They work on people with scars from accidents or birth defects that affect their confidence.

      Then there’s those not so talented trying to cash in.
      Saw a article where some daft bint wanted her eyebrows tattooed on.

      They all want to look like Noel Gallagher!

      The tattooist got them done but the weren’t level,
      Sort of like a wry Roger Moore look ?
      Hehehe 😂

      • It does depend. Mrs kc is on chemo for that cunting breast cancer. She always looked after herself and has been on chemo and radiation and had to have one complete mastectomy. For people like this top end medical approved tattooists to help with eye brows for these women gives them some sense of acceptance. As does medical options for reconstruction afterwards. It’s the cunts like the 10 pound bints that want to be a Kardashian that need to be sucked into a sink hole (their own perhaps) to never fucking come back

  5. It’s an industry all right.

    A factory that makes frankly bizarre looking plastic Barbie dolls.

    I suspect some very deep seated insecurities that this global industry exploits.

    Oven the cunts and let wimmin look naturally juicy..ooh er

    Jolly good.

    • You only need to look at that whore fucking Jordan Price cunt. Hope her next cosmetic visit to Turkey ends badly

  6. Sad.
    Very sad.
    The suicide rate amongst teenage girls is spiralling out of control.
    Social media, the worship of whores like Jordan and the Kardashians and the break down of the nuclear family and a shift in Western culture-all responsible.

    I don’t envy young lads-I lived through a golden age of women, the 80’a & 90’s and have been fortunate to have had some absolutely stunning “girlfriends”, including er’ indoors🙂

  7. Horn??? Not a chance.

    My first reaction was to laugh 😂 out loud on seeing the picture. Then guilt for laughing at some Cunt that is mentally ill.
    Women s magazines and day time telly have a lot to answer for

  11. It’s always the tarts who look half decent already that go for this kind of thing. You don’t often see ugly birds going for it, other than maybe a boob job. And why do they see Oompah Loompah orange as sexy? I can’t think of one bloke who thinks so.
    I can see the logic in boob jobs if a girl gets grief for being flat chested or a nose job after being compared to Rod Stewart.

  12. I’m more likely to get the horn from looking at Diane Abbott.

    On second thoughts, maybe not.

  13. I haven’t slept much since I clapped eyes on that freaky looking woman who runs Newcastle United. She’s scary as fuck.

  14. One only has to think of Lesley Ash and what the hell she did with her lips to realise that this sort of shit doesn’t do anyone any favours.

    And when it does go pear shaped and some bint isn’t happy with her new face, ears, chin, whatever, do they end up at A&E wanting the NHS to put things right?

    Of course back in the 70s – early 00s fashion and beauty was geared towards the stick insects that walked the catwalk, such as Cindy Crawford, Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell and other vacuous twiglets.

    These days any old cunt will do – fat, super fat or Flabbott sized. Doesn’t matter because fat-shaming is now a crime and therefore anyone can walk the catwalk and be seen as beautiful!

    Quite frankly I’ve seen more beauty up at the local farmyard

    • Is that bizarre-as-fuck Jocelyne Wildebeest still around? She was a real disaster.

  15. Katey Price should be all these deluded tarts should need to see as the poster girl for saying no to plastic surgery, maybe its also the cause of the mental; issues allot of these girls seem to suffer from.
    That perma-tan colour is called Essex peach and im sure its made by San Tropez, said with a z as its spelt.
    We have one working next door to us, she thinks she,s the dogs, maybe its just me getting old, but i look at her now and just think she gonna be high maintenance for some poor deluded soul who will be paying for her up keep [ im sure restoring a Lancia Stratos would be cheaper and less grief ] good luck to the cunts who want to try and live with these self obsessed, selfie taking spunk trumpets

    • I would rather have the Lancia Stratos to be honest.

      Or the stunner of all stunners, the Alfa Romeo tipo 33 stradale.

      Phwooar! Look at the clover leaf on that!

  16. This is an apt cunting as something happened recently that horrified me.

    A family picture of all the inlaws grandchildren was recently taken in a very picturesque setting.

    One (the eldest, and thank the lord not mine) turned up looking like some hooker off a Prague street wearing what I can only describe as Camel like fake eyelashes and catch this, fluffy slippers – in a fucking forest…

    Personally I blame the parents, but they are quite chavvy so what does one expect…

  17. Notice freshly tattooed wimminz who choose to wear a particular item of clothing so everyone can see it ie. a top with no fucking back in it or their hair pinned up with some rinkydink writing on their neck.
    I preferred the old one like A C A.B.

    • Tattoos on women should be an arrestable offence. Loony bin for having too many.

      I believe some (not me of course) find what looks like a thumbnai of a fit bird on if these ‘porn sites’ (whatever they are?). Only to have their experience ruined, when she is revealed to be covered in garish tattoos like some fat old biker.

      • I like tattooed birds!
        I like something to read while I’m eating.

      • Makes me a bit floppy. Seems a manly thing to do to me, getting tattoos.

        I probably link tattoos with my Royal Marine dad and his fellow soldiers.

        I’d go as far as to say it’s a bit ‘ducky’ liking ‘ladies’ with tattoos.

        I’d be worried about them whipping out a nine inch dong during proceedings.

    • Like my brother says, you used to have to visit a circus to see tattooed wimminz, now the local street is all you need.

    • Tattoos on the neck is never a good look on a lady. May as well have ‘village bike’ written on them.

  18. Those comedy shiny white teeth are the worst. Popular with players and the management team at Liverpool FC.

    20 grand to look like you’ve got false teeth.

    10 grand for false hearing aids and hairnets next.

    Nobheads.

    • Chippy ‘Ok he booted his cat but muh racistisms’ dark key, Antonio at West Ham has the funniest shiny chompers.

      They’re too big for his gob and can blind an owl at twenty paces. He talks like Dick Emery’s vicar or as though he’s got a cock in his mouth.

  19. These dumb cunts will give undertakers something to laugh about down the road. Try and imagine what these will look like when they are wizened old hags.

    • They’ll be able to put half of the body in the recycling bin!

      • They’ll have to, to stop the crems exploding. Cremating Katie Price would be a bit like Blaster Bates’ “Shower of shite over Cheshire”…

  20. As a former child model and being blessed with dashing good looks I could never lower myself by being seen with some manner of orange harridan – a Man of my looks and good taste must be careful about the cuntpany he keeps!
    The beauty industry – “Hey! Dumb bitches, buy the stuff our psychological warfare has told you is necessary to avoid a terrible life of ugly unpoked spinsterish loneliness – hand your money over you gullible fuckers! Hey! Ugly bitches, buy our shite – because we’re not shallow carpetbaggers trading on Womens insecurity for profit, not at all”..

  21. It’s the ones who fixate on a “look” in their early 20’s and stick with it for the rest of their life.
    What does Roger call them, ah yes!
    BOBFOC.

  22. The other day I was in a restaurant in Cornwall and the waitress had a ring through her nose like a bull, and had her ear lobe stretched with some sort of ring, she turned my stomach when I looked at her face, it put me right off breakfast, I don’t think the restaurant will be trading for much longer if she is working there,

    • I’ve just had 2 teeth out today☹️

      That serves me right for laughing at these Berger teethed cunts.
      God’s punishment.💥💥

      I’ve more fuckin fingers than teeth,
      I smile I look like a Halloween pumpkin if it wasn’t for the magnificent flowing beard .

      Growing up on a council estate that.
      Poor people have poor teeth.
      Fact.

      I hate those middle-class Colgate smiling cunts!
      Show offs.

      https://youtu.be/CA3pxVj4F7M

      • Beegee not Berger.
        This phones going to get a fuckin right hiding if it keeps it up

      • Sometimes inanimate objects respond to violence. My back up laptop (posh cunt me, two laptops) was lagging like fuck about a year ago. Twenty minutes to load the Google page etc.

        A nerdy mate said I should reinstall windows to get it working. I even got double glazing. Cost me 5 grand and did fuck all. Full of shit these eggheads.

        So I punched the laptop hard as fuck. Left a dint on the touchpad area. It automatically switched off and wouldn’t switch back on. Assumed I’d killed it.

        Next day, I threatened it with being smashed with an axe if it didn’t boot up.

        Booted up first time and hasn’t lagged much since.

        They fucking know what you’re saying sometimes, don’t let them take the piss.

        Washing machine playing up? Show it the lump hammer and it’ll stop fucking about. TV on the blink? Dangle the cunt over a cliff and it’ll switch on when it’s not even plugged in.

  23. Throughout recent times there was a general consensus of what a good looking woman looked like.
    At what point did it change to be an orange crème face, lips like swollen labia, and eyelashes like spider legs?
    Who dictated this horror look?
    I suppose it makes it easier for the plastic surgeons as you can’t see when they make a mistake ( unless the patient accidentally turns out attractive)

  24. Then there’s the scrat tat. The tattoo above the classy birds arse that is actually just used as a jizz dart board by some rat boy. I’m working class through and through but sometimes I definitely feel middle class.

  26. There’s nothing worse than a daft slag with bleach blonde hair, ridiculously false black Minnie Mouse eyelashes, and stick-on fingernails. Also, with a visible day-glo thong sticking out of their arse and numerous tattoos. No class, no style, no taste, no fucking clue.

    Also, I do hate the identikit WAG and Little Mix type look. Pumped up Jagger-esque lips, the rod straight lank hair, the fake tan, and no meat on them whatsoever. Seen one England WAG, seen ’em all. Those two tarts fighting like a couple of strays in court: Rebekka Vardy and Coleen Rooney. There is virtually no difference at all between them. And both are about as attractive as bad eggs.

      • Those thick as pigshit footballers love their skanks, don’t they?
        As Sidney Poitier (RIP) said in To Sir, With Love: ‘No man likes a slut, and only the worst type of man will marry one’.

        Welll, that’s most of the players in the Premier League and the England team for a start….

  27. Back in my day these women were known as skanks. In the US I believe they are referred to as ‘hood rats’, or ‘hot trash’.

    I blame Channel 4, MTV and now BBC Three for promoting this freakery amongst the yoof.

  28. It’s the cloaths the cunts wear that turn my stomach trying to squess a four foot wide arse and legs like tree trunks into a pair of ski pans

  29. It’s the cloaths the cunts wear that turn my stomach trying to squess a four foot wide arse and legs like tree trunks into a pair of ski pants not a good look

  30. The orange thing always confused me. What the fuck do they look like? Like an overgrown oompah loompa.

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