Revenge

Ever seeker revenge for a slight to you?
Revenge is meant to be sinful,
But I think it’s completely natural,
A settling of the score,
Natural justice,
To take revenge is normal.

Ever seen the film Jeremiah Johnson?
Starred Robert Redford as a mountain man in the Old West.

Well it’s based on ‘liver eater Johnson ‘ a real mountain man.
Over 25years he waged war on the crow tribe who had killed his wife.
Johnson killed over 300 crow warriors and scalped them and ate their livers.

Now that’s revenge.
And also cannibalism, but you get the idea .

What revenge have fellow cunters exacted ?

Nominated by: Miserable northern cunt

(More info about the Liver Eater here, Day Admin – Liver Eater Johnson )

78 thoughts on “Revenge

  1. A few years ago someone screwed me out of £5000. About 6 months later I bumped into him in a pub. While he went outside for a smoke I ordered a “kryptonite” cocktail for him. Don’t ask me what was in it. The landlord never let on. All I remember was that it was green. Anyway I gave it to him and watched him neck it. He was instantly spark out, so then I dragged him into the toilet, took his trousers and pants down, wrapped a condom round the handle of a screwdriver, dipped it in chilli sauce, then stuck it up his arse and pulled the screwdriver out. Then I left. At some point he woke up with a sore arse and a condom hanging out of it. I wonder if he ever told anyone…..

  2. Off topic, sort of. Mother Earth has taken revenge on the Taliban.
    Thousands dead following an earthquake in Afghan this afternoon.

    Hahaha. It’s not all bad news. And now apparently the mad mullahs are appealing for international humanitarian aid, including helicopters and aircraft….

    Dog bless and piss be upon them.

    • I remember Iran and their demented Ayatollah being general all round cunts in the 80s. But then – wallop – a big fuck off earthquake shut ’em up and they weren’t so cocky after that. Afghanistan is no different and let’s hope IS stronghold and cunt central, Pakistan also gets a bit…

  3. I always loved what Lemmy said about his sacking from Hawkwind.

    ‘They gave me the sack. So I went to their houses one by one and screwed all their old ladies.’

    RIP Big Man.👏

  4. A few years ago, my wife and I went to Cuba. Mr and Mrs Johnny Foreigner really annoyed me about something in the hotel On the day that they were leaving (this was obvious as they were no longer in shorts, etc., I waited in Reception until they had loaded their suitcases onto their airport coach and then I removed one and put it back into the luggage room. I suspect it never did arrive somewhere in Eastern Europe. Aren’t I a bastard, but they were cunts!

  5. There’s no profit in deceit
    An honest man knows that revenge does not taste sweet.

    Although there are exceptions….

  6. A certain famous ex-soap actor and current TV presenter used to work in a restaurant. A customer was really rude to him and complained about their steak. So the manager ordered this lad to make a new one. So he did, but not before rubbing his knob all over the meat.

    That one was a classic.🤣

  7. Epsom salts in the hot water urn as blanket revenge has brought me so much joy in seeing so many need so much, so few lavatories.
    The prawn in the curtain rod is a classic one has greatly enjoyed. I’m saving for some cunt that really deserves it, shitting in the microwave and turning it on for 99 minutes.

  8. I got revenge on the cunt that took my eye out when i was 6yr old! i got him back 18yrs later with a swift sharp stab to the guts (twice) i never saw the cunt again after that Oh how i relished the sweet feeling of revenge.

  9. I got my revenge on my local Co-op. During the first lockdown, I went in for a friend to get some salad cream. There wasn’t any. I made my way to the door and noticed my pack of surgical gloves were spilling out of my inside pocket, they were bright orange , so stuffed them back in again. Made my way out.
    On my return later that day, I went in for some Belgian beer for the same old cunt that wanted salad cream, only to be approached by a young cock womble pretending to be a security guard. “ You’re barred mate” . “What”? What for? “Taking a packet of Doritos “ you’re having a fucking laugh aren’t you? “ I’m not 12 you cunt”.
    It then occurred to me that the manager had seen me stuffing orange things in my inside pocket.
    I never went back in there, as I don’t usually shop there for my stuff, but vowed to exact my revenge one day.
    Just before Christmas later that year, I hung around at closing time. Watched how they left the premises. Locked the sliding doors, then came out of a high security side door, then locked all 3 locks from the outside.
    Went back to my van (locksmith) found the same key blanks that fitted the key way, went to the pub.
    I waited until New Years Eve, and just before they closed, cut the end off all 3 key blanks, inserted them in the key ways and pushed them right to the back of the cylinders, then waited.nearby.
    All the cunts came out, hugging each other and wishing a happy new year, then watched the manager and his underlings try to lock up. No fucking chance. They had to wait inside until the next day as no fucker was available to change the locks. ( I found that out the next day, as a mate knows the staff) . Happy fucking new year you cunts.

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