Just to add to the monthly cuntitude of Black History Month, Vegan month, Diversity Month, Wimminz month, Blah-de-blah-de Month, I now give you “No Mow May” month.
In other words don’t cut your lawns or trim hedges during May in order to encourage bio-diversity of plants, insects and other creepy-crawly motherfuckers that love uncut lawns.
Of course this might be a great excuse for getting out of your green-fingered responsibilities, but I just wonder what the next virtue signalling load of bollocks we can expect for the remaining unallocated months?
And yet we only get a day for Remembrance Sunday, and in reality that’s only a few hours. And give it another year or two once the Queen has jacked it, and that will be off the table for good.
Nominated by: Technocunt
They (the no mow gang ) can fuck right off. I like my grass like my hair. Short back and sides. Clean and easy to manage. Daft Cunts.
14
I like my lawn nicely trimmed with a warm wet part in the middle for a dip.
Wait, what were we taking about again?
2
At first glance I thought this nom might be about Theresa May’s verdant bush. A very disturbing thought at this, or any time of the day.
Once again a measure designed to regress civilisation to a more primitive state, one before it was “ infested” by man. These cunts would have the jungles creep back, such is their abhorrence of man. Cunts
19
You’re a dirty bugger, MMCM, the thought of Theresa’s minge will be ingrained in my brain for the rest of the day.😃
8
Sorry about that !
4
Rotting anchovies??
I must go outside and spray some anti-Maybot stuff around, just in case.
(Better still, toss a pair of Anal eazy Dodd’s soiled underwear on your garden. Kills all known germs dead! – Day Admin)
5
Im doing this.
Im very green.
Little birdies have nested in our bushes so Im not going to disturb them.
Bluetits in the nesting boxes,
Wood pidgeon on the dovecote.
Marvelous.
Did I mention my gate was artisan made?
Well it is.
Toodles!
25
Mnc@ – Afternoon Mnc- we are dead posh where I live, we all pay a “service charge” and a company does the lawns etc – I don’t mind doing it myself but for £2.50 a week it saves me the bother and keeps local lads in work.
And it saves starting again at home after coming in freezing, filthy and piss wet through after a day of gardening and landscaping – winner! 😀👍
3
They can Fuck Off…long grass plays havoc with my croquet game and garden parties.
Hippy Cunts.
31
Drive through any area that is populated by “effnic’s” or members of the “lower orders” and you will see they fully endorse this policy.
12 months of the fucking year!
They also appear to endorse:
-overflowing bins January
-discarded Christmas tree February
-dog shit covered March
-old wheels and tyres April
-weed infested June
-burnt sofa and chair July
-BBQ hedge fire August
-punctured paddling pool September
-discarded mattress October
-shitty nappy November
-car on bricks December
Rule Britania🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Morning all👍
50
Excellent, CG, but you missed out dumping the knackered TV/microwave/vaccum cleaner/toaster on the verge for someone else to dispose of, though July/October are possible months.
16
Morning Cuntfinder.
No mention of giant fuck off trampolines?(which always seem to end up in some poor cunts front garden 5 doors away.)
14
All that would make quite a novelty calender, C.G.
5
But you will need something to cover May!
3
No doubt Starmer’s Charmers uphill gartdeners will take this up with gusto, so hear is the song Dame Kweer will be singing to Jess Phillips in June:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wiNSSElgGr4
8
Can someone please tell me how not cutting the grass with a manual mower is going to reduce carbon emissions?
Knit a tree scarf? Are the poor things feeling chilly?
Just fuck off!
12
Morning JP👍
You tidied up that garden yet?
Mines a ocean of vibrant colours at the moment,
Bluebells, welsh poppies , the wisteria above the door etc
Im not one for lounging about in kimonos with a cocktail,
Ive got my eye on the annual ‘best garden’ prize!
Gone as far as to pour engine oil and salt on my main rival mrs Archibalds flowerbeds.
The cheating old cunt!
12
I’m not much of a gardener, gravel and raised beds with shrubs at the front, very low maintenance. Grass at the back which a very pleasant young lad cuts for me every two weeks, as alas I can’t manage it myself any more.
As for lounging about in a kimono, how many more times!
Happi jacket!
Morning, MNC, and a very lovely one indeed!
11
They needn’t preach down my way. Some peoples grass gets so long, it almost obscures the old freezer and gas bottles in their front gardens. Still, it at least hides the dog shit.
13
How about a No Poîkeys Month where you can’t leave your gýppô camp or caravan for fear of bring hunted.
21
Aye, aye Captain!
We could split January in half ( as it’s the longest month of the year, as monthly paid folks will know) and rename it especially for this purpose, although to what I’m not sure.
7
How about: The Poîke-ee Purge?
7
I like it!
5
Creepy crawlies, I like em!👍
Bees,flutterbies,
Even spiders!
But pulling up some ivy the other week I got bit by a spider and my hand swelled up !!
ALL spiders bite.
Did you know that?
All of them.
Little fuckers.
Squeezed out the puss and sprayed my hand with alcohol and its healing now.
But if it has that effect on me,
Why, itd probably kill some of you.
So beware the spider!!
He fights dirty.🕷️
10
The bugger must have an impressive set of gnashes to get through your thick skin.
10
Just to add to my nom, perhaps there should be a “Don’t drive nasty old cars month” or a “White slavery month” or a “Switch off your electric and gas month” or “No wanking month”
The woke list of dos and don’ts months is endless
8
Don’t ride a motorcycle month?
I’d love to see Tarquin and Jemima explain that to a bunch of big hairy blokes in leathers.
Squashed hippy month…😁
7
It’s ‘Fuck off you Cunt’ day on Wednesday, feel free to vent your spleen cunters. Allowable phrases, and this is not definitive, are: Fuck off you cunt, Don’t be a cunt. You stupid retarded cunt, Being a cunt is not big and it’s not clever, Have you always been a cunt or are you a newcomer? etc.
13
Please accept this fuck off together with a complimentary cunt as a token of my esteem. Will that be offensive enough?
2
😄👍
1
I am looking fotward to “White power month” but nobody seems to be advertiding it.
Baffling.
11
I’ve just spent a small fortune on my garden based on my age and the improbability of moving again so had a new lawn laid too. I won’t be touching it for that reason but when I asked the landscape guy how many lawns he did, he said hardly any because people were having artificial grass and lawns were getting scarce. Maybe these environmentalists should look at that. No mow indeed, fuck off. I’ll await the incoming from artificial grassers.
13
I guess, if you have artificial grass, it would have to be “no hoovering May”? All a load of bollocks whichever way you look at it.
8
My Mrs keeps the lawn mown all year round.
9
Likewise…😺
7
@smug:
You cannot beat a tidy entrance 👍
8
No Mow May, followed by No Jacksee June, when all the knob jockeys promise to give it a rest for a month.
Some fat chance.
9
Selfish cunts.
Spare a thought for the people on Earth in about 7 and a half billion year’s time.
They will wake up one morning to our Sun turning into a red giant with the certainty that it will quickly comsume the planet and all life on it.
If you self centered bastards had observed No Mow May they may have got a few extra days.
Think about that.
11
In 7.5 billion years there will be cunts with beards and hi vis vests blocking roads with placards……. ‘Stop the Sun’ 😂
10
They”ll probably still blame Brexit and/or Trump when the sun goes nova. Or perhaps one of Greta’s offspring will shout “How dare you!” to the sun as it turns red giant.
8
“Solar privilege”
3
yep – we’re all dead men walking once the sun becomes a red dwarf.
3
Think of all those libtard, wokie wimminz that turn round their hubbies and say I ain’t mowing my bush in May…
Get to the end of May and the bush will look like a kelp forest, a fisherman’s friend…
9
The Green lobby, a few years ago, said it would be better if local councils didn’t cut roadside grass verges, thereby increasing bio diversity and wildlife. That resulted in a big increase in the rat population and other vermin. The scruffy appearance of our roadsides was encouragement to chuck litter out of vehicles, and our roads are now a national disgrace.
17
In our area, dog owners use this as an excuse to not pick up the excrement their shit machines drop.
Interesting also that our council has gone up for lesser services…
7
Council Tax always rises by the maximum allowable without a referendum. What pisses me off is the 10% + rise in police funding.
BTW, the new Police Commissioner in Nottinghamshire has been done for speeding five times since being elected last May. She is married to an MP.
15
Execute them both.
Just a suggestion…
6
Our local council has extended no mow may to no road repairs ever. I bet there are even some specimen pike in some of the potholes.
8
Motivates me to go to twice weekly cutting – little bit early in the year but one should make the effort👍
15
Could anyone do a No Wanking Month?
4
Techno@ – WHAT? A whole month of forfeiting sex with someone you actually care about?
A most disconcerting suggestion, most disconcerting indeed..
6
That is the silliest thing I have ever read on here, shame on you.
2
How about Tumescent Tuesdays.
Admin could put up pictures of Anal Ease, Flabbot, Anne Widdecombe, Eddie Izzard,and we could have an online bukkake party.
(Plod would probably raid Admin Towers for showing obscene material that may offend public morals/decency – Day Admin)
8
Hmm, with that lineup methinks “floppy Fridays” would be more appropriate.
4
Kweer Starmer as Dirk Diggler
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dirk_Diggler_Story
1
If the soft cunts want to encourage more nature then stop building more houses for afghan raiders and other grifting brown sludge.
I should also say I am still a fan of the natural bush.
Thank you.
12
You’re not alone Terry, me too.
4
I don’t mind a little airstrip to land the plane on, but not in the style of David Livingston pioneering through the jungles of Africa.
2
Who are the sorry hippy cunts that thought up such bullshit? Almost seems like a parody it’s so bad.
5
My front lawns are only cut once a year. I have orchids,Snake’s head fritillarys, Primroses, Cowslips and others growing on them.
It’s mental health week, cunts who cut there lawns week have mental health problems.
3
These shifty no good hippies are probably the same ones who complain about the burned out cars and scrap metal in my garden!
Shifty no good hippies..
1
How about a “Get your Tits out for the Lads” month!
(Only applies to fit wimminz between the ages of 18 and 35)
6
just back from Gran Canaria – lots of ladies there who don’t even need asking. Mostly krauts though, but they are an uninhibited lot.
5
I wonder if these wankers have done the sums. In saving a microgram of Co2, they can rest easy as they carry on importing avocados etc.
4
I had some blueberries last night – a crop which can grow perfectly well in England but was imported from Spain as our farmers are paid not to grow crops – perhaps stopping this madness would cut down on CO2 output somewhat as opposed to not cutting your lawn?
Is it just me or does anyone else find this situation utterly farcical and driven by virtue signalling hypocrites?
11
Perfectly put, except for the last sentence…. Virtue signalling hypocritical cunts, surely.
0
My cunt neighbour will have to hire a combine harvester. She has been practising no Mow May for over a year. I swear their are tribes of small people feeding on fairies, pixies and elves in there.
Lazy sponging cunt.
5