Norman Wisdom Skinny Suits

Find me sartorial instincts offended by what da yoot, and alas da not so yoot, are wearing. Not so much suited and booted as squeezed and castrated, todays Woke Warriors have taken to wearing what is apparently known as ‘the super skinny suit’. Yank in origin, say no more, these bollox squishing two sizes too small garments started making an appearance on actors on American chat shows then corporate sponsorship compelled old ugly fucker James Bond aka Daniel Craig to wriggle into one and, God knows how, do a lot of running about on rooftops.

The epitome of fashion? My arse. Go back a bit and ‘50s film star and man of the people and doyen of Albanian Dictator Enva Hoxa, little cunt Norman Wisdom was capering around in the old two sizes too tight.

“Mr Grimsdale! Oi’ Mr Grimsdale my cock is stuck in my trousers an’ it don’t ‘arf hurt”

Cue syrupy Norman song later released on 78 where due to a lot of payola it stayed at no 1 for six weeks and was subsequently found in an old dead cunt’s cupboard during a house clearance. The Don Black lyric also gives an explanation for the famous Norman comedy walk.

Don’t cry for me because I’m a fool
I have tears in my eyes
Because I slipped and split me tool

So my dears for once the Norman Wisdom look is bang on trend and punted out this very moment by overpriced online outfitters to da yoot Asos or do I mean Arse’oles? It goes with the tufty quiff barnet and shoes worn without socks with pointy toes that curve up. I definitely mean Arse’oles.

Go here to Tossers Fashion:

Asos Link

And here for Stormin’ Norman:

Norman Link

Nominated with photos by: Sir Limply Stoke

59 thoughts on “Norman Wisdom Skinny Suits

  1. Poor Norman. He was so poor that’s all he could afford the story goes. Paid off for him.
    Norman was great.

  2. Historically the West always seemed to think that whatever some homosexual in Europe thinks is fashion must be followed.
    Now since the entire clothing and fashion world is 98.8% homosexuals wherever it is found I do aggree that this figure hugging look for men could have come from the US but who cares?
    At my age (50) I opt for comfort over looks but I still know how to look like I have a clue.
    This suit is so tight that you could read the numbers on a credit card in the back pocket.
    My testicle hurt just looking at the tightness of that get up!

    • There’s a light in the loafers fashion designer laughing his/its/they/who/what/where sick, all the way to the bank.

  3. I’ll second that purely because I think Norman Wisdom was the ultimate cunt when I was a kid, so anyone who tries to squeeze themselves into a pair of skinny pants must look very similar to that retard trying to get into his jacket while shouting “Mr Grimsdale”. Anyone who wants to emulate the gormless fucker in any shape way or form, is therefore, a cunt!

    • I saw a bit of a documentary once, everyone saying what a great bloke he was, always at the forefront of everything. That was because the little cunt pushed his way to front, including barging people out of the way when the Queen visited the Isle of Man, where the tax dodging cunt lived.

    • And your colostomy bag! Probably never see Cliff Richard in one. The squeeze would make it backfire and poison the cunt!

  4. I wear a David Byrne “Stop Making Sense” jumbo-suit and still my todger is bulging out like Linford Christie’s.

  5. I see estate agents wearing these ridiculous under sized suits , they look like it’s been sprayed on their bodies

    • Yes, I’ve encountered them too! Lawyers don’t wear them, most high-flying business men don’t wear them, but you see cunts at the train station and airport squeezed into them like they are wearing a suit designed by Speedo. On a hot day, those suits must be stifling. Loose clothing is best, let’s the body breathe and move, you can crouch, raise a foot to tie your laces, etc. Those skinny suits were obviously a massive prank played by gay designers. Same with the hipster look, which is still going strong after over ten years. Makes men look like the hairy guy from The Joy of Sex.

  6. I could never fit my enormous Manly chest in one of these “skinny jackets” and could never fit my huge cock into those “skinny trousers”.
    This is the kind of stuff worn by 45 year old salesmen desperately trying to look young and hip. (Beer guts and thinning hair do not accentuate the look BTW).
    Knock it on the head daft cunts – you look ridiculous.

    • I’d like to see Dolph Lundgren (Drago in Rocky 4) in one of those suits!

      “If I die (from suffocation)… I die.”

    • Vern: I imagine IsAC’s favourite cockney-wanker, Charlie Mullins, has a few of these “car salesmen” suits 🤔

      • CG@ – When I am Great Overlord the Saturday afternoon entertainment will be seeing how far Charlie Mullins can run when he is on fire – that will beat fuckball focus for viewing figures! 😀👍☠

      • Maybe add ‘Pin the colostomy bag onto ageing, God bothering self righteous cunt’ on to the TV line up?

  7. This seems to run parallel to young chaps having legs like pipe cleaners.

    I assume it’s all a communist plot.

    The cunts.

    • Yes!
      Modern “yoof” appear to be either morbidly obese or stick thin😂

      • Afternoon CG…whilst I agree (for the most part) with this cunting, for a change I’m one of the cunts!
        Being almost 50 and extremely physically fit, I’m 5’10 and only weigh 9st 8lbs, so regularly wear slimline suits.
        Although mine are super colourful and very camp and I look like a right dickhead too, kind of like a flamboyant skeleton with a huge moustache!

      • My genitals weigh more than you Thomas.

        I dont wear skinny suits.
        Dont wear skinny anything.
        Dont wear suits.
        Im not a Jehovah’s witness.

        Im a style icon, effortlessly cool,
        My beard can double as a scarf,
        For that over the shoulder chic look.
        My size 13 hooves replendant in fine rigger boots,
        Jeans with turn ups
        And t-shirt bearing the legend ‘Motorhead. England’.
        Often copied never equalled.

        Baby youve either got it or you haven’t.

        No not VD!!!

      • What’s wrong with 501s & rigger boots?
        Choice of T-shirt plain or logo.
        Hoody if it’s below 3.
        Satorial elegance is for friends of Dorothy.

      • Aah, we do share some sartorial items then, MNC. I wear that very same Motörhead t-shirt (and W.A.S.P, Maiden and Dio too).
        80’s metal, fuck yeah!

      • Thomas I see kids now wearing rock tees from the 80s but I guarantee they don’t know one song or member’s name. I want to go up to one and say, “Name one AC/DC song you little brat! What store did your Mom buy that at?”

      • Jesus Thomas-I haven’t weighed less than 10stone, since I was 14/15.
        With that classic car and your sartorial elegance, you are the “Jason King” of IsAC.*

        *and I claim my £5 voucher for 2.4 litres of super unleaded👍

  8. In Albania, Norman Wisdom is worshipped like a God.

    Seen as a symbol l of hope and love.
    He was in fact, a happy shopper version of Charlie Chaplin.

    Re: Isle of Mann-that place is the real “Isle of Dogs”.

  9. Great nom. I first noticed this with Pep Guardiola when he was manager of Barcelona. I even foolishly bought a pair of skinny leg trousers when I was in Spain at that time but wore them about twice as they kept mangling my moolies. Bring back flares I say!

  10. The way I dress is all for the purpose of carrying a concealed 9mm Sig. No way to do that in these painted on outfits.
    I don’t want to be noticed or fucking “own” my own fashion statement.
    I’m old, married, father, private, bald, and want to be left alone. That’s how I dress except for a pair of Vans on my feet.

  11. The nom picture looks like a bag of walnuts squeezed inside a condom. Horrible fashion.

  12. Brown pointy shoes are often worn by sales types, and are a sure sign of someone who cannot be trusted. Same with skinny suits. The wearer will, inevitably, try to fuck you over, or simply fuck you.

  13. Norman Wisdom owed my mate money.
    Apparently within show business he was a total cunt, never paid up, ensured those that crossed him never stepped foot on the stage again. Tax dodger Cunt….

  14. Don’t do it! You’ll look a right cunt! Screamed my subconscious.

    Fuck it. What harm could come of it. Said my conscious mind.

    Ah, well. Quite a bit of harm it turns out.

    Having strolled into Hugo Boss, looking for a new pair of strides for work, I was foolishly lured into trying a pair of ‘skinny’ jeans in a wonderful kashmir denim.
    Not for the skinny fit you understand. For the kashmir denim.
    That wonderful, soft kashmir blend felt like silk against the back of my hand, as I perused the leg wear section of their Sloane Square store.

    ‘Do you have these in 34. 32. Regular’? I enquire of the fruity gentleman curating that section of menswear.

    ‘Sorry Sir, we don’t. But you should try them on. They’re very nice. My partner has them’.

    Not to be put off by the fact some bumboy’s partner has a very good taste in denim, I decided to give them a try.

    All went well at first. My feet managed to fit through the leg holes. Good start.

    Then, after a little bit of a struggle I got them nearly all the way up. I say nearly because these things seem to sag around the arse like some sort of adult nappy.
    I noticed this, as I turned in the mirror to see my pert posterior. Only to find drooping fabric in its place.

    I proceeded to get the damn things to sit up over my waist, but in doing so had a bit of an accident.

    Turning to the mirror to look at myself front on, I noticed that the twig and berries were rather prominent. A bit too prominent. Unless one is looking to work in porn, or willing to risk getting put on some register by walking past a junior school.

    In an attempt to adjust things, I somehow managed to shove my right testicle into my abdomen with the gusset seam of the jeans.

    In that half second when you know what you’ve done and the dull throbbing ache kicks in, that moment before the nausea takes hold and the dry heaving begins.
    That is the moment when blind panic arrives and takes control of the situation.

    I just wanted to get these instruments of torture off of me this instant.

    In this respect, all did not go well.
    Fumbling at the button and zip to try and make some space, I realised this was going to take some breathing in.
    Not easily done when you physically can’t breathe.

    I did manage one heroic deep breathe and with lightning speed undid the button and zip, freeing my undercarriage from the evil grasp of these Satanic strides.

    At this point my right testicle decided to make a reappearance. With a thud.

    My eyes crossed, my bowels twitched and the coughing started. Now it was a race against time to get these cursed things off my legs, Don my Levi 501s and get the fuck out of Dodge before I either threw up or started crying.

    Following an Olympian battle with the leg holes, which now seemed to grip onto my feet like a Boa constrictor, I finally broke free.
    Laying on the fitting room floor in a cold sweat, gasping for air and dry heaving is not a look I can recommend when the assistant opens the door to check if everything is OK.

    I made it out of there. Just.

    Let this be a lesson to all middle age gentlemen thinking of purchasing ‘skinny’ anything.

    It will end in misery. Don’t fucking do it!

  15. Skinny suit is a sign of a cunt, you’ll never meet a bad person wearing flairs though, but skinny suits make most cunts look like a freshly prepared jumbo sausages!!!

  16. Norman Wisdom. Monumentally unfunny. Wasnt there a ‘comic’ called Lee Evans who pinched his act? Also totally unfunny.
    Skinny suits are for cunts.

  17. After researching “The Skinny Suited Cunt” in my copy of “The Observer’s Book of Cunts”, I came across this entry, as follows…

    …”The Skinny-Suited-Cunt’s” natural habitat is typically within the estate agent/sales executive/office or call centre environment. The Greater-London areas of South East England are often the best places for these sightings, however, “The-Skinny-Suited-Cunt” is now a very common visitor throughout the length and breadth of the British Isles.

    Instantly recognisable by their “Mockney” intoned warblings of, “oh, mate”, “oh, my days”, “awesome” or “that’s quality”, these calls can be recognised in virtually every sentence when communicating within their peer group.

    The prominent oily crest atop the head is usually styled by Polish barber (although many can be bald) – undoubtedly, there there will be a full beard and fake designer sunglasses in place.

    Broods at this point are typically within the 18 to 30 year age range, but older and larger specimens (for example; “Top Shop’s Greater-Waistcoated-Twat”) can be regularly seen at wedding receptions, stag-do’s and in high street chain pubs.

    During the mating season, “The Skinny-Suited-Cunt” can often be seen displaying swaggering outbursts of testosterone fuelled aggressiveness, particularly during the early hours of the morning and normally within the precincts of a taxi rank or kebab shop, whilst in a state of acute alcohol and drug intoxication. Massed groups of the female of the species are normally on hand to intensify or quell the situation as required.

    During these displays of chin-jutting ritual courtship the male will remove the upper garments of its plumage and “offer out” its rival male whilst displaying an impressive, steroid-enhanced upper body physique that is decorated with tribal tattoos and the names of it’s offspring (this is presumably for future reference so as they don’t forget?). At the height of the proceedings, the female will vocally interject and the shrill call of, “leave it, Kev, you’ll facki’n kill ‘im” can be heard – cue extra chin jutting and scuffling before the police arrive.

    When not in rutting season, “The Skinny-Suited-Cunt’s” mode of transport is normally the 15 year old 5-Series BMW, which it will drive in a similarly aggressive manner, in homage to the spirit of “The Fast and Furious” film franchise…

    • Spot on with the Fast and Furious observation. Every cunt ive met who enjoys that drivel tends to drink in high street chain bars in suits and takes part in chin-jutting

  18. One of the reasons for the declining birth rate, is trousers that are too tight.
    The young men of today, or at least those that aren’t raging homosexuals or incels, have shite sperm counts because their tackle and essential fluids are crushed and restricted.
    African and other ethnic gentlemen, who wear loose robes, do not have this impediment.
    Consequently, they breed like fucking rabbits.
    My fertility is legendary and I would urge all young cunters to wear loose fitting tweed or corduroy trousers.
    I only have to drape mine on a ladies bedpost and bingo ! She’s up the duff. 💪
    In fact, it is true to say, that if you’re in the NW of England, you’re never more than a mile away from one of my progeny.
    I could, in fact, be your dad.
    Give your mum my regards.
    Whoever she is. 😀
    Good evening.

  19. I’d never get my bollocks in a suit like that. Mrs once got me a nice designer shirt in my size..but it was ‘slim fit’ (gay fit). My manly chest was about 20 inches too big.

    Stop making clothes for the gays, sorted.

    • Absolutely, absolutely! These clothes are for folks who want to say something without actually opening their mouths. They just as well have the word HOMOSEXUALIST embroidered in big letters on the back, and two men bumming each other motif on the front!

      • Actually, you could save money on the embroidery on the back, as it’s fucking obvious that the wearer of such tat is into ‘man love’!! Keep the bumming motif in case any old ladies are confused!

  20. I’m still wincing at all of the tossers around my way who wear red/pink trousers.

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