I would like to nominate polishing fat turds for a cunting.
I was recently in Germany on business and whilst waiting for the sky train to Dusseldorf airport (that part of Germany is a shit hole full of Turkish cunts by the way, avoid at all costs, honestly I’d rather go to Middlesbrough) and what do I see standing in front of me? Two “plus size” land whales checking their make-up and doing their hair for a selfie next to the sky train.
Walking (waddling) evidence that it is in fact impossible to polish a turd unless it’s been fossilised. Your hair and make-up don’t matter one jot when you’re as fat and ropey as Jabba the Hut after a monster sesh on the broon ale and kebabs.
These horror shows then have the nerve to complain when Asda can’t find a sailing ship canvas big enough to cover their arses.
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/fashion-news/asda-hit-complaints-dressing-plus-23199201
Bad enough we have to literally orbit these cunts in the street!
Nominated by: Dr Geordie Cunt, I presume
Seconded by: Get Fucked Woke Cunts
As people are sooo fat do they really have gravitational pull. Is this why cyclists and cars and pedestrians have accidents. Should they affect insurance quotes.
the story continues.
Anyone got the horn? (apart from RuffTuff, obviously)
Oh FFS! – NA
17
Free bag of flour & STDs with every hefferlump.
14
Good God!
I now want to take my eyeballs out and bleach them.
12
Their clothes should be taxed on the acreage.
On second thoughts , maybe not – it would encourage them to buy a slightly too small dress and all that offal would ooze out at the edges. Horn for some maybe…
10
We will need to build some more pyramids in Egypt soon, to ballance out the centre of gravity.
10
Best shag I ever had was with a fat lass!
It was like dipping your winky in liquid velvet or summat.
Cracking!!👍
And they don’t mind if you eat a scotch egg while riding,
They prefer it!!
Not as big as that lump of shite pictured though.
I don’t like anorexic type birds,
Usually miserable moaning cunts.
Get a pie down your gullet an cheer up luv.
21
Was she jolly Mis?
7
Certainly LL.
All fat fucks are jolly.
Its part of their Medical condition.
11
Instead of a post shag cigarette did she tuck into a party bag of Monster Munch crisps?
12
I bet yer rolled her in flour & checked for the wet spot as is the norm?
2
In the immortal words of Chubby Brown “you can always get a shag off a fat bird, just chuck a Mars bar on the bed”.
The smell though, Holy fuck the smell!
4
Eeeh ye doont sweat much fer a fat lass
Best pickup line in history
3
Now that you mention Jabba, the lady in the image up top looks like she could related to him in some way. I think she should imitate Jabba the Hutt further and walk around with no clothes. I imagine the sight of this generously proportioned lady unclad, would capable of conquering nations in it’s splendor.
Well….more likely, it would be like that film Birdbox where everyone who looks directly on her corpulent form would simply commit suicide in complete anguish.
Mail her naked in a XL shipping container to Putin. He could do with some female companionship instead of playing with his rockets and missiles trying to overcompensate all the time, the CUNT.
16
The girl in the picture has realized that she may be in need of losing a pound or two, but why should she go to the trouble of exercising and eating less? All it takes is a packet of hair dye, some powder and lipstick and a few tattoos. Job’s a good ‘un. Fellas aren’t even going to notice the extra weight.
15
Tina Turner on steroids!
10
Tina Turnoff.😁
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Lol
5
Nothing is more off-putting than a fat puffy minge. Particularly if accompanied by a tattoo.
14
An old mate of mine was seeing this lass that (I swear to God this is not made up) had “all you can eat for a fiver, chow mine” written just above her hairy ace wound. Utterly vile she was. Could probably suck a golf ball through a hose pipe though.
He was a drummer, they’ll shag owt
8
I have one just like her, she’s a lovely cunt.
8
Are you Miserable Northern Cunt’s nasty brother?
🤔
9
I bet you degenerates would love for that “woman” in the header pic to sit on your face after a hot sweaty night and a vindaloo to go
Was that in any way autobiographical? – NA.
13
I went past Victoria’s Secret on Bond St the other day. Fuck me – all the pictures of models in the window were huge. Do they really want their customers to look like those fat oafs?
13
I see a lot of fat ass, overweight, nasty, cunts in adverts now. These companies are no longer using beauty to sell anything. They use those who check all the woke boxes.
I am usually trying to eat when I am watching TV FFS!
13
GFWC in his supporting nom raises an interesting question about the gravitational pull of the obese.
Every particle of matter in the Universe creates a gravitational pull – even an atom. The larger the piece of matter the greater the pull.
If you were to put the plus sized lady in the nom photograph in intergalactic space where she was the largest particle around for many light years then she would soon be surrounded by orbiting bits of dust attracted by her gravitational pull – if nothing else disturbs them. Faster particles would zip by.
I proposed conducting such an experiment with Flabbot but I couldn’t raise the funding. Perhaps ISAC would care to oblige?
12
What a shame Carrie Fisher is no longer around, to throttle her.
Ho! Ho! Ho!
13
Carrie Fisher in that bikini!! Oh dear – as a young man, I had a hard on for a week after seeing the film.
14
Who didn’t?
7
It’s got it’s own postcode.
12
Postcode? It’s got a bloody Roche limit…
11
And weather system. It’s raining lard
8
NASA are thinking of sending a probe to explore it.
That won’t be seen again. She’ll eat it.
6
Perhaps we could round up all these fat cunts and drop them over Moscow and the Kremlin.
A definite update of WMDs – Whales of Mass Destruction, would surely have fuckface Putin surrender!
15
You’re either Barnes-Wallis (re)incarnate or channeling the old bugger…43 years dead and yet still with the bouncing bombs…
10
Cover it in flour and aim for the wet spot, then oven
9
All this walking around on eggshells and touchy feely language of being “plus sized” and “body positive” is doing no one any favours, especially the fat lasses. Supports say its to be kind but its a perverse sort of kindness to promote a lifestyle that puts you at greater risk of diabetes, strokes and heart attacks.
High street fashion chains stopped using heroin chic anorexic models so why go to the other end of the spectrum and start using morbidly obese ones? And in the age of equality why are there no fat blokes who look like Johnny Vegas modelling undercrackers?
14
The creature in the header pic reminds me of the 2014 American ‘Godzilla’, which the Japanese mocked for being fat.
The kind of bird who waddles past a building site and gets ‘CAKE!’ shouted at her from the scaffold.
10
Sit on my face and tell me that you love me…., can you imagine that with that barrel of lard…..😬
10
Encouraging people to be fat by saying shit like ‘plus size and proud’ is simply encouraging people to kill themselves through heart attacks, diabetes etc.
I don’t think fat ladies over a certain size should be allowed outside. I once saw a lady of about 30 stone in a boob tube and short skirt in a nightclub. She had hairy legs an’ all.
It is an image I cannot unsee to this day.
With energy prices through the roof, we could put all the morbidly obese on energy creating treadmills. Win, win.
11
I’ve started watching “Homeland” on Netflix (other streaming services are available). There is a vomit-inducing scene where one of the spooks (a spy in this case rather than a jig) has a sex scene with a rather large lady. Awful.
9
When gluttony meets entitlement, this is what it creates, there’s a few pounds overweight, but when it gets to this level it’s nothing more than idleness, the rising cost of food and rationing should sort these portly cunts out!
12
With fuel prices through the roof, it would likely cost a fortune to navigate around one of these fat cunts should one be waddling across the road.
11
I don’t understand how some of these lard ass cunts have kids, I mean who would fuck something like the header pic 🤮
I would rather shag a side of beef 😂
6
I think what they do is when the pubs close they get a half decent looking bird to give some unsuspecting drunk a hand job in somebody’s front garden then with the help of a torch carefully draw his jizz up into a turkey baster and squirt it up the fat turd’s snatch and bob’s your uncle (or auntie if he’s a woman with cock and balls)
6
It’s the only answer, an 18” Turkey baster, industrial strength marigolds and a strong stomach 😂
6
I know some people struggling to keep their weight down, but theirs no excuse for being grossly overweight.
Can I recommend a simple excersise?
When someone says do you want seconds, pudding, cake etc. simply move your chins to the right, then the left three times.
Also, say no thanks.
10
I know some people struggle to keep their weight down, but theres no excuse for being grossly overweight.
Can I recommend a simple excersise?
When someone says do you want seconds, pudding, cake etc. simply move your chins to the right, then the left three times.
Also, say no thanks.
2
Sorry, usually stops me double posting.
Apologies.
2
Its alright JP, they were probably raiding the buffet table the first time and missed it.
8
JP@ – I am a big fan of the Billy Connolly diet – eat less, move more.
It works.
9
I’ve never understood the thinking behind fat cunts buying nice clothes.
It is like buying a flash water bottle and then putting piss in it.
Don’t care how much that dress cost, everyone is still just thinking ‘what a gluttonous cunt”
9