Food Travel Shows

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Gordon Ramsay/ Anthony Bourdain/ food travel shows.

Everyone eats food, alot of people like to travel, a foodie travel TV show = great TV so you’d think.

I’ll start with Ramsay.

I downloaded Uncharted and The great escape by this cunt. Why does the bellend have to keep stating he is Scottish? He slips it in on average 3 times per 45 minute show, and I quote ‘I know about whiskey, I’m Scottish and I’ve been to a few distillery’s’. What’s that Gordon? You went to a few before you left Scotland at the age of 5?. Another equally ridiculous moment in the cuntfest was him talking to a pilot in a float plane, pilot says to the wrinkled dishcloth faced cunt ‘ we’ll be landing on that lake in front of us so I’ll pull the power’. Our kilted tartan hero with a look of absolute shock says..’ YOU’RE GOING TO PULL THE POWER?’, I’m assuming this multi millionaire cunt has flown before but for some reason thinks that planes land full throttle? Cunt.

Anthony Bourdain. Parts unknown.

CNN cunt, all his shows end up with a bunch of rich dodgy cunts eating expensive food and talking absolute shit. Living in the CNN circle probably had a lot of shit on alot of the cunts and was found dangling from a rope In France 2018. Long story short, I deleted the fucking lot. ((Edit at your pleasure))

Nominated by Cuntflu

83 thoughts on “Food Travel Shows”

  1. The only celebrity chef worth watching was Keith Floyd. The master of cooking something just about edible whilst ratarsed. A culinary style I would suggest many strive to emulate. I know I do.

    • I liked how he would casually talk to the crew – the cameramen, boom mic guy, etc. He served in the Army in Centurian tanks and pestered the mess cook to make gourmet grub! One of the last true eccentrics on TV.

    • Memories of waking up and the sirloin steak looks like the bottom of a bonfire…….

    • Fucking well said that man.

      I have very fond memories of KF,a proper character.

      During his tour of Wales he agreed to make a vast dish for a rugby team,got smashed and slipped coming out the kitchen with the food and launched it all over the floor.

      I deeply regret he never teamed up with Ollie Reed for a Pub Guide to Britain.

      Magnificent.

      • That was with the also late great Ray Gravell at Kidwelly RUFC he was a lovely bloke always had time to speak even to a twat Englishman, me.

  2. Im pitching a tv show at the moment.

    I travel around the Northwest of England sampling chips n gravy.

    Pointing out slight regional differences.

    I wouldn’t eat anything Gordon Ramsay had cooked,
    He looks like a elderly Popeye,
    And being Scottish probably doesn’t wash his hands?

    That Anthony Buorbon wasn’t he a bit mental or something?
    They shouldn’t allow loonies around food.
    Probably stuffs sausages with broken glass or dogshite.
    That’s probably how he died.
    Ate his own food…

      • Dunno don’t watch cooking shows,
        But what would they know about chips n gravy?
        Clearly a pair of fudge lickers
        Or tofu deep throaters!

        You need people who are experts in their chosen field.

        If its a gardening show -Titmarsh
        Natural History – that lovely Johnny Morris

        Chips n gravy?…me.😁

    • As a kid, my local chippy, about 30 yards from where I lived did great chips and they did black peas, f’kin lovely.

  3. They’re all ponsey cunts.

    Got a mate whose a chef and cooks a decent meal who can’t stand any of these TV cunts.

    For me, the worse one if Jamie Oliver. Saw him on TV the other day and for all his cuntiness talking about eating healthy food his belly is porking out – utter cunt.

  4. Gordon Ramsay’s shtick is that he is Scottish, swears a lot and played for Rangers FC – no you didn’t you cabbage faced wanker, he played a few friendlies, got injured and then ‘retired’. The closest he gets to a game these days is the UNICEF charity bollocks and fending off Robbie William during the post-match shower.

  5. Anthony Bourdain was great, a truly warm, friendly, unpretentious guy who showed us amazing things. So sad that he ended his life.

    • He was better in his early stuff before he went to CNN but I really enjoyed his no bull shit attitude, both Les Halle in NYC were brilliant snap houses Steak frites for $12 and half price plonk on a Monday sadly both gone.

  6. Lot of talk about chips n gravey. I lived in Lancs for 3 years…. black peas, chips n gravey?? Fucking abominations.

  8. I quite like these shows, with the exception of Oliver and Ramsey, just a right pair of twats.
    These programs are soothing, mindless pap, for when your brain needs a rest.
    Just watched a repeat of a Rick Stein, wonderful scenery.

  9. Cooking shows are boring.
    Need livening up a bit.

    Afterall they are dangerous places kitchens.

    Boiling water, spitting oil, sharp knives and cleavers, hot surfaces, full of excitement!

    How about 3 blind contestants have to make a meal without help?
    Itd be great!

    Harvey Price as host.

    Call it 3 blind rice and base it on chinese cuisine?

    Or Harveys carvery.

    • “Cut filming!….Harvey is on fire again and you don’t even want to know where he shoved the basting brush”.

  11. Rick Stein is pretty good,travel and cooking,The rest can go and fuck themselves,posing cunts.

    • Rick Stein is a fat, greedy cunt.

      His cooking is typically Jewish with huge amounts of butter and cream.

      He steals other people’s recipes and puts his own take on them, which is never quite right in my opinion.

      He is a messy eater who is always stuffing a little too much food into his greedy mouth.

      Fucking pig.

  12. “Having Friends for Dinner with Jeffrey Dahmer” was a great show, wasn’t it? The Christmas Specials were my favourite. Shame that show was cancelled so abruptly.

  13. Ready steady fuck with Katie Price.

    Cum dine with me starring Michael Barrymore

    The Great British Rape off with HRH Prince Andrew

  14. I like Gordon Ramsey, sorry but it’s true. I have his books and I’ve been to his restaurants- outstanding.

    Jamie Oliver on the other hand is a complete jerk with totally shite recipes (again bought the books and went to 1 of his restaurants – garbage) and he still hasn’t left since Brexit like he promised, or was that somebody else? All remainers sound the same to me.

    Btw, I made the unfortunate mistake of cooking a JO recipe last week and hubby got up and said ‘Jamie Oliver is a cunt’. I made up for it by making a delicious Beef Bourguignon a few days later. Keith Floyd would have been proud.

  15. Keith Floyd was the pioneer of this kind of thing and an absolute legend. Rick Stein was a more housewife friendly replacement ( they shared the same producer/director who could also claim to be a pioneer of the genre). Everyone else can just fuck off. Especially that self aggrandising, up his own arse cunt Ramsey and his little Italian, self styled live god Gino D’Cunto and that French arse bandit.

    • I wouldn’t eat anything Ainsley Harriet had made.

      Id rather have my jaw wired shut.

      Or Rusty Lee.🤢

      Same with that Gwok wan,

      Whats for pudding?
      Fuckin AIDS?!!!

    • Keith was the best! No contest.

      Rick Stein is a bit of a simpering wet lettuce. Wangs on about simplicity and fish too much, sounds like he’s going to cry.

      Di Campo – can’t understand a word he says. Twat.

      Would never watch anything with that angry arsehole Marcus Waring. Nobody has asked him to do a travel food show because he’s too angry!

      Marco Pierre White – interesting, like the character Hannibal. Again, will never see him travelling for telly.

      Used to quite like the two fat women, now deceased. No nonsense, a Victorian edge to them.

  16. IsAC “come dine with me”.

    Lord Fiddler
    Captain Magnamimous
    Jack the Cunter
    Miserable
    Cunty Gordon
    Ruff Tuff C

    That would be THE fucking pinnacle of TV food shows.

    👍👍👍

    • It would soon descend into a chaotic food fight. No doubt the Police would have to be called.

  17. Whatever happened to Fanny Craddock and Johnnie?

    I have never enjoyed cooking shows and now they are more odious than ever. Whereas Fanny Craddock used to show bored British housewives how to cook a steak and kidney pie in order to please their husbands, todays TV chefs are pretentious aesthetes and sniffy prima donnas.

    Gone are steak and kidney pies and in comes Pumpkin Beer & Sharp Cheddar Gnocchi Soup followed by Cheesy Spinach and Artichoke Pinwheels, washed down with Clear Paleo Meal Prep Spaghetti Squash.

    Fuck off – don’t want it. I prefer fish and chips.

    Cunts.

  18. Even if you hate Gordon Ramsay, you can’t deny that he’s a legend when it comes to getting in people’s faces…this 1 minute clip of Kitchen Nightmares is comedy gold…especially the last 5 seconds…take that, Froggie!

      • Hope you don’t have any females there TtCE. Mind you, when Harvey’s on a testosterone fueled rampage, any hole will do!
        Praise the Lord and pass the tranquilliser darts.
        Hurry!!

      • Nope, no females JP. Although we’re just about to go and splash around in the swimming pool now that Lia Thomas has turned up to give Harvey his swimming lesson.

      • I sincerely hope that one of them sits on the others head until the bubbles stop.
        I don’t much care which one survives.

      • Apologies to Cuntflu, for hijacking his nom.

        I’m going to suggest a random ramble page, via the proper channels, naturally, Dear Admin!
        I woke up screaming at 1:47am, I was being pecked to death by giant chickens.
        So thanks.

  19. I used to like the Two Greedy Italians Antonio Carluccio and Gennaro Contado.

    They knew what they were talking about, they could cook and they knew the places where they were showing you.

    Unfortunately Antonio is now dead (I think) and Gennaro was the cunt that trained Jamie Oliver.

    • Why are eyeties an frenchies considered pinnacles of the food scene?!!

      The french eat out of ponds
      And fuckin spaghetti hoops and garlic bread aren’t exactly gourmet.

      No.
      Steak & kidney pie
      Fish n chips
      Sunday roast

      All the best meals are English.

      British foods the best in the world. 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧

      The french can eat slugs and tadpoles all they want .

      • Agree. My local does fantastic food at reasonable prices, fish and chips where the piece of haddock is overhanging both sides of the plate, mixed grill and landlords pie to name a few.

        If it was in some trendy London shithole, every Tarquin and Jonty influencer would be blogging about the place but thankfully being in Lincolnshire they don’t know we exist. Thank fuck.

        I have to say I haven’t tried the mixed grill as it comes with a black pudding sausage that a friend once referred to very loudly as “Frank Bruno’s penis”.

      • Evening MNC, I trust you’re tip-top?
        Whilst I agree with your understandable suspicion of frog and wop food, you must like a nice curry?
        As long as it’s made by some Indian who’s actually had a shower within the last fortnight and who doesn’t wipe his arse with his bare hand.

      • Evening Thomas,
        Naw, I don’t eat curry.

        Cant stand the stench of it.
        I look at it,.. like diarrhoea.😣

        I carry my rabid racism into my diet,
        I hear “curry” and my mind conjures up images of some chai waller in a turban and nappy who wipes his arse with his hand.

        I never eat anything spicy,
        Cant stomach it.

        Although I like pickled onions.

      • The nicest Indian meal I ever had, was cooked by an associate who was a retired DCI who’s hobby was cooking Indian Food.

        He had been trained by some world famous Indian chef.

        It was astonishing👍

  20. I agree about Bourdain who I always thought was a phony. He never looked people in the eye and was not interested in what anyone said. CNN is still cashing in on him and showing some of his self indulgent travel series. I watched one in which he traveled around France with a French chef who spoke excellent English and Bourdain spent his time taking the piss out of the guy, making unfunny comments some of which were puerile and dirty. I wasn´t surprised to learn that he had committed suicide.

  21. Cooking is done in the kitchen.

    The kitchen is for women.

    If you are male and enjoy watching cooking shows, then you might as well shove a gerbil up your arse and listen to Madonna albums all day.

  22. Pretty much all the top chefs are men, same with top comedians. The female chefs on telly are even worse than the men. Funny old world.

    • Men are chefs, flambeing snails arseholes with garlic and shallots.
      Women make pies, to feed families.
      Women are cooks.
      I won’t hear my Mum or my partner being run down by any twat

  23. Keith Floyd, the master.
    I’ll give James Martin a shout here, he’s on the case ,reckon he’d be up for the Floyd gauntlet but those pussy producers would wilt at the thought.
    Generation Snowflake couldn’t handle the wild side.
    Graham Kerr, The Galloping Gourmet, always ended his show by taking an audience member (all wimminz in maxi skirts and tan tights) to share his meal at the end.
    But Floyd was the bizness, get wankered, harangue Clive the cameraman and have The Stranglers for the soundtrack.
    Good egg.

    • You should have seen Fanny Haddock in the old days, “working” a capacity Royal Albert Hall audience.
      She probably blew them all afterwards, dirty cow.

  25. Any fucker who entertains ‘ jus ‘ should be pan fried or ovened, ( regulo 6, for three hours, basted twice. )
    Get some fucking gravy on it !
    Good evening.

    • Homemade anything for this lad.
      Stews
      Pies
      Cakes
      Savoury ducks

      Anything homemade is better.

      And being a bit of a puff I can bake a Apple pie!👍

      With apples off my own trees.
      Im quite middle class, organically sourced,
      And im shameless about it.

      Shut that country cream gate behind you….

  26. Well, sweary Gordon can expect to come home to a roaring fire… He recently said, I love Cornwall, the only problem’s the Cornish.
    I expect to see a GB tour of food.
    Brown Windsor soup
    Sussex Pond Pudding (bloody delicious, but probably off the menu for me, as an unexpected night stay in UHW told me I have a furry coronary artery, so an angiogram in 6 – 8 weeks. 5-star care, by the way. Thoroughly recommended if you are going to have heart probs. I don’t know which drug did it, but had a really satisfying tug last night…

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