Well this is starting off well. I went out today 30/01 and all you can see is Lycra clad bellends riding like CUNTS in the middle of the road even when there are cyclepaths available for the cunts to use. Surely some fucking government muppets could have seen further than the end of their noses?
If there is a cycle path may I make a suggestion? USE THE FUCKING THING!!!!
Hopefully Jeremy Vine gets a shoeing off some Pat Boon in the VERY near future.
Nominated by CuntyMort
CuntyMort also fancied a second helping…
Sorry cunters it’s those fucking cyclists again. Whichever cockwomble who thought that the changes were a good idea is a huge cunt.
The dopy little sod in the link who was cycling along without a care in the world nearly gets topped by a Range Rover. The dopey tartlet can’t be arsed to wear a helmet. Like the Lycra twats around me who can’t use cycling lanes all need a thourough twatting with a baseball bat. Let alone fucking lights. CUNTS.
Fuglyucker also wanted a go…
https://www.thesun.co.uk/motors/17551087/cyclist-angers-motorists-takes-selfie-on-the-road/
Whoever changed the rules for the highway code is a retarded cunt, these new rules are a completely brain dead idea, not only are they dangerous to the point where there are going to be death and carnage, it also allow cyclists to be even bigger cunts than they were before, see the cunt in this video.
The rules may make the cyclist feel safer from the traffic, but what they fail to grasp is by acting like this they are now alot more likely to come to harm from drivers.
They have gone from being at risk of an accident, usually caused by themselves, to being highly likely to become a victim of a serious assault or even worse, Mark my words cunters its going to be a regular occurance on the news, some dumbfuck cyclist with 2 black eyes looking miserable due to him fucking about in traffic and riling up the wrong person.
Personality I think when they behave like the above cunt cockwombles you deserve exactly what you get….
And then fancied seconds himself…
https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/cars/1567000/highway-code-changes-cash-for-crash-dash-cam-exclusive
Well who could have possibly predicted these new highway code rules to give fuckwits right of way on foot against cars nomatter how retarded the situation has led to chaos on the roads, crash for cash scamming cunts have been given the green light literally, cunt cyclists riding 4 abreast at 7 miles a fucking hour, wankers walking up the fast lane of the M4.
Who were the cunts that dreamt up these new rules, was the cunt high at the time, did the cunt even turn up to the meeting or just sign off the paperwork without reading it.
Maybe the cunts responsible has some mental health issues, WTF were they thinking, even if they want to do away with cars, surely they could have thought up something better than this.
These cunts must be part of the younger generation who have had the part of the brain that uses common sense removed, or drank enough to make sure that part of the brain is dead….. Cunts one and all, I wonder how long its going to be and how many deaths until the inevitable U turn in the rules…
Lastly, a cycling tale from arfurbrain:
(Most) cyclists are cunts.
Well, we have all known that for years. However I was reminded today what a bunch of smug sanctimonious cunts they are. Let me explain; most ISaCers will have seen the updates to the Highway Code recently announced. They are of course idiotic but today I saw with my own eyes the natural result. To my mind the only place in the UK where one can reasonably use a bicycle as a form of transport rather than a child’s toy is Milton Keynes. This is because the town was designed from the start to accommodate the motor car. It has a network of excellent high speed roads which is complemented by an equally comprehensive system of cycle paths.
These paths are designed such that there is no necessity to enter the main roads at any point and this includes all major junctions and roundabouts. I have driven in Milton Keynes since its very early days in the late sixties and can’t remember ever seeing a bicycle on the major roads.
Until today that is.
This afternoon I drove across Milton Keynes and in a few hundred yards saw two of the cunts in their lycra gimp-suits pedalling along at 10-12 mph on roads with a 70 mph limit. What annoys me is that when they are spread over the tarmac like a Domino’s pizza the green lobby will try to pin the blame on the driver.
On yer fucking bike!
4
Our roads are not designed for cyclists. Too much traffic and dangerous. Go to Amsterdam if you want to ride on a road. Plus some cyclists are complete cunts. Some not all.
10
BF@ – As a cyclist myself (ouch! stop throwing bricks you rotters!) I would say 95% of cyclists are utter pricks and need their behaviour curing by a left turning lorry! 😀
I am sick and tired of half the fkin road being blocked up by these arrogant, entitled jerks – ride legal, ride safe, ride considerate – how hard is it?
And as I often point out – 10 Kilos of aluminium with the soft squashy person balanced precariously on top ain’t ever gonna win an argument with a vehicle.
The new legislation is utter, utter stupidity.
And, not that I’m a grass or anything but I was recently cycling round a vast Country Estate when I was viciously whacked on the head by a flying Fray Bentos tin and a Bushmills bottle (both empty regrettably) and a loud voice coming from behind a hedge shouting “It’s a fucking disgrace”!..
17
The owner had just found out all his Ukrainian fruit pickers who work in the estates vast orchard had just resigned and fucked off back home to fight the Russian, Vern.
9
Stay safe on the roads Vernon. Like you say, a lot of arrogant selfish twats in cars, lorries etc also. Seen a few mates have accidents on bikes caused by motorists not paying attention.
4
Went to step of a bus last nite in Lard-dern and some twatty two-wheeler wizzed by, kerb-side, it/he/she (it waz dark, hard to tell) nearly knocked me pint out me ‘and. Effin Lycra-Ningers!
2
Our roads aren’t exactly designed for modern cars, trucks etc either.
Of course, the increase in cycle related fatalities/incidents will lead to calls to ban cars from the roads…not that there’s any anti private car ownership agendas out there in the wilds, you understand…and if I was being a cynical old bastard, I’d swear that these nonsensical changes were introduced to deliberately cause ‘problems’ with this sort of social engineering mindfuckery lurking in the wings as a contingency plan, initially only banning cars on roads with ‘heavily used’ cycle tracks and a high number of ‘negative car-cycle interactions’…initially…
And finally.
https://imgur.com/a/38Cjnr1
7
Is that the xenomorph from the film ‘Alien riding that bike?
5
Bloke in the header pic?
Diagnosed cyclepath.
11
Mnc@ – Afternoon Mnc – there is simply no need for that utterly unnecessary, vastly overpriced stuff that twat in the header pic is wearing unless you are a pro – cycling glasses (bought used of course!😀) to keep flies and road grit out of my eyes, trainers for grip on the pedals, shorts or tracksuit bottoms depending on weather and when it’s really awful a reflective jacket and some gloves – off road, a good Bell helmet (pricey but massively strong) and if I am really being daft a gumshield as a mouth full of smashed teeth ain’t fun!
And nothing (and I mean NOTHING) pisses these posing clowns off more than a deafening gang of them flying by me in town to be subsequently annihilated when I shoot by them ten Miles later as they are labouring, sweating and crawling along! (My machine has track race gearing and it goes like fk!) 😀👍
5
Afternoon Foxy 👍
Yep, hes taking it all to seriously.
Trouserleg tucked in his socks and some reflectors is all the lad needs.
That and some basic commonsense and savvy .
No one wants to kill a cyclist and once hes under the wheels you cant take it back.
Observation and manners would save many a cyclists life and drivers a nightmare.
Stay safe👍
5
He’s peddling cuntishness.
3
I will continue to check the road is clear before crossing, as I don’t think the revised Highway Code will be much protection against several hundred weight of motor vehicle.
8
Well worth a viewing is the Black belt barrister on YouTube he is giving it large on the idiocy of this new round of laws. Guide dogs are TRAINED to wait on the pavement until the road is clear in BOTH directions. The poor buggers are going to be confused when motorist gives way.
On a happier note some cycle twat had his front wheel fail on him on a country lane. You have all seen cartoons of cycle wheels buckle up, this was exactly like that poor twat went arse over tit over the handlebars. Another cyclist asked if I could wait while they dispatched the poor cunt to hospital. No problem says I.
After matey had gone pissed myself laughing.
8
Isn’t that such a prime example of the idiocy that comes up with motorists having to give way to pedestrians at side roads.
Maybe we’ll end up with a revision of the revised edition ” except where the pedestrian has a guide dog”
I despair, I truly do.
4
I’m a cyclist and I dispose the cunts. Run us off the road. You have my permission.
8
Despise?
2
I have seen first hand the cycling system in some parts of Belgium. They have long relatively straight cycle paths, that don’t get ‘chopped up’ into 3 foot lengths, like we get over here! You know when it’s been properly thought out, because you may loose count of the number of bikes you may see at say Brugges Railway Station, & many of them won’t even be locked up! But getting more into the built up areas, things do get a bit more crowded, with the addition of trams in Ostend. Yes it really does seem like everything comes at you from all angles.. At least I think the bicycles are meant to be fitted with a mandatery bell!
5
LS@ Where I live the local chavs and smack rats ride on the pavement – so I stand one side, Ishfan the Hungarian Man mountain stands at the side of me – they move – believe me they move! 😀👍
I do not use a bell when riding, if I need to get someones attention I briefly lock up the back wheel – it gets peoples immediate attention without annoying them.
4
I use my walking stick, right in the spokes.
If they have the temerity to get up, I kick them inna fork!
5
Hahahaha 😂👍
That’s the spirit JP.
3
Monty Python’s Flying Government. It will now be compulsory for unicyclists to be preceded by a marching band and two pink elephants, escooters must now wear capes and super hero head gear and the energy crisis will be averted with deep heat.
6
You will own nothing (except a bike) and be happy.
You probably can’t afford a new electric car, you can’t drive anywhere without giving way to cyclists, pedestrians and hedgehogs, and your local loony Council is bringing in 20mph or less zones everywhere.
We are being played again.
13
You will not even own the bike…what are you?, some sort of recidivist?
We’ve always been played, it’s just that as they’ve brainwashed 70-90% of the muppetry you see around you on a daily basis they’re confident in their end-game and no longer feel the need to hide the fact so much.
I see this image is doing the rounds
https://imgur.com/a/MNM9nIo
3
The ‘plan’ is much more simple: you will not exist. Never mind owning stuff, they want to reduce world population and, guess what?, your name is not on the retained list.
Please line up for your fourth jab (which would not be necessary if the third one had killed you.)
3
Bike riders are all cunts but I think that allowing them to ride in the centre of the roads is a ploy to relieve the obligation of councils to repair pot holes.
If a council can be held accountable when a cyclist gets injured by either hitting or dodging around an unrepaired pothole then it makes some sort of sense to allow them to ride on whatever part of the road that they want.
That way the blame is shifted to the motorists.
Sneaky.
6
Theres a place in Cheshire called Poynton.
Quite a nice area, and in the centre is a roundabout with 4 roads leading off,
North, south, east, west.
Busy road with traffic going to and fro from Macclesfield and Stockport.
They made it pedestrian priority.
So some daydreaming twat wearing headphones can just step out into the road and traffic stops miraculously without anyone rear ending the suddenly stopping car in front.
Guide dogs found this utterly bewildering,
Unable to assist the blind owner.
The wisdom of our betters.
Stranded Stevie Wonders, confused labradors,
Whiplash stricken motorists,
Etc etc,
Add bicycles into the mix and its a recipe for a fatality.
The cunts that run this country, make the laws,
Plan the town centres ,
They must go special schools.
7
As a zealous pedestrian I welcome this “new improved” Highway Code. It puts me firmly in the driving seat. 👍
Evening Miserable.
6
Stepping out and seeing what carnage you can cause?
Heehee 😀
A good evening to you Ruff.
3
I read it earlier RTC 🤫but it deserves to be heard in the House
👍😂😂
1
I actually saw some headphone wearing, Ecycle riding cunt just pootle across a side road even before this fuckwittering cuntage was announced.
I don’t know who fits her brakes, but she stopped on a sixpence.
Ecycle riding cunt pootle on oblivious, until my walking stick accidentally got in his way. Oh dear!
5
When cyclists are forced to take a test, forced to have insurance, forced to use cycle lanes when available they may be in a position to show respect to the vast majority of road users who are in cars, vans and lorries
Cunts
8
Exactly. The changes to the Highway Code are designed to make the cyclist king. Cycling is the future for the proletarian trash. The elites want the lower orders off the road and little by little they are making owning and driving a car increasingly difficult.
All this, of course, is for your own good. Cycling is good for elf and fitness and saves the fucking polar bears and shit. Therefore it all makes perfect sense. We just have to persuade you thick fucking cunts that this is what’s best for you.
And if you don’t want to cycle just stay at home and watch the BBC. It’s great.
8
FtF@ – Given that most cyclists have the seat angle all wrong which over time leads to a prostate the size of a melon I think the problem will “eventually resolve itself!” 😀
In all seriousness, the saddle angle is critical – the pelvic bones should be on the large bit at the back and the seat needs to go back on the rails as far as possible on the rails with a very slight downward angle at the front – if not it crushes all the nerves and blood vessels in the groin – not good for long term health.
3
Forget about the Polar Bears, they’ve already made alternative arrangements…
2
90% of all cyclists are total and utter cunts. Nothing else to add really..
7
Everyonesacunt@ – I call your 90% and raise you to 95! 😀
I cycle and drive a car, years of motorcycling experience prior to driving gave me a very healthy sense of self preservation with regards to other road vehicles (if they can do something fkin stupid they will – this attitude keeps you alive) but I am amazed at the utterly stupid things cyclists do every time I am driving – I am pretty sharp reactions wise but had I not been on a number of occasions “on the ball” as it were there would have been quite a number of squished idiots.
4
Vernon I’ve just decided your numbers are a more reflective account of the actual number of cunts in lycra.
2
Well, you won’t see me on a penny-farthing any time soon!
I`m not prepared for the delicate scent of my ladyparts to endure the possible subsequent and indecent snudgery & quumfing …
https://viz.co.uk/2016/03/10/quumf-mag-men-sniff-ladies-bike-saddles/
9
Sam Beau@ – In my defence I now own some rather more fashionable spectacles! 😀
But, seriously – eeeew!
5
I see these green motherfuckers are now going around letting down the tyres of SUVs and leaving a sticker justifying their cuntery and explaining “it’s not personal.”
Well, if they get caught by some dooshka dooshka mafia drug dealer they might find it’s very fucking personal indeed.
Can’t wait.
14
FtF@ – Any of these fuckers touch my Panzer and I guarantee I will make it personal!
Let’s see how they like a size 11 being surgically removed and no teeth – cheeky fuckers.
But what would be really funny is if they did this and then their wickle green chums returned to Daddys Range Rover to find 4 flat tyres – they won’t be getting back to Mummy and Daddys Knightsbridge mansion any time soon! 😀
8
God ive got a stiff winky just thinking about it.
To catch some skinny eco loon at the side of my van upto mischief.
And the realisation on his face of whats coming his way!!
If not pushed for time might even take him for a short ride..
9
One of the funniest thing I ever witnessed, was four lads walking down a street in Penrith, after last orders.
They were banging on the roves of parked cars and shouting.
Then they came to a panel can and started banging the sides.
In seconds, the owner, a sturdy tradesman, who had been sitting on top of his 8ft high garden wall, jumped down and smashed the shit out of these pissheads 😂
I was walking 20 yards behind them, with my girlfriend.
Justice👍
8
About time these fucking freaks were rounded up and shot.
9
Agree with comments,that it’s going to end in tragedy
And some solicitors argument for some cunt who’s now in a wheelchair that it was his clients right to swerve into the middle of the road.
Use your fucking indicators, that are ones eyes ,ears and hands to signal and even then double check before attempting to know what traffic is about.
But stupid cunts will fuck it up as per usual for normal cunts that realize that a cyclist has no bloody business in the middle of the road. Bar a closed one for racing
4
Use your indicators, so very simple.
Except some cunts act as if using an indicator is going to add a pound to the leccy bill.
3
Are you riding a fixie Jeezum ,when you said track gearing earlier
3
Not me, Mecuntry.
Vern possibly?
1
Most cyclists I’ve seen on the roads, particularly in Londonistan, behave as if they were on a kamikaze suicide mission.
They stick in the middle of the road, swerve left to right, terrorise pedestrians whilst shouting abuse at them and jump lights while dressed in their lycra tights and Alien Xenomorph head gear. They always seem to be in completion with cars – racing them so as to assert their superiority to mere motorised clods. I hate seeing their skinny butts bobbing up and down in from of me. It’s grossly offensive.
The more of these cunts that get flattened by articulated lorries the better.
10
Normally referred to as Posers
4
Mecuntry@ Apologies, couldn’t post on yours – not a “fixie”, cant stand the things, got pursuit/time trial gears on mine – massively tall ratios like the track ones but more than one gear – every time away from standstill it feels like it’s going to pop thigh muscles but can’t be dawdling with traffic behind! 😀
You get used to the torque needed, but the pain in the arse bit is buying jeans in a bigger waist size than I take so my legs fit in them!
1
It won’t be long before the term “bloody cyclists” takes on a different meaning.
4
Scania fodder.
That is all.
4
770 bhp. V8.
Super.
3
Kill them all.
Get shut of all the buses too.
Clogging the fucking roads up.
No wonder there’s traffic jams everywhere.
Cunts.
Turned out nice again !
4
And funeral cortege’s.
Totally unnecessary.
That’s what green bins are for.
It’s not fucking rocket science.
4
Is the header pic a still from the new Ridley Scott Alien film:
“Alien soy-boy mutants on 2 wheels.”
🤔?
4
I was in Fulham a few years back and in fairly heavy traffic going to see a customer on Munster Rd.
It’s a spit away from Kensington so proper proper middle class white bastard land.
As I approached a busy junction right in front of me was a fucking cretinous whitey woman wearing one of those flowing summer dresses whilst trying to ride a bike.
I thought it couldn’t get any worse but it did. As she tried to peddle away and across the busy junction I saw that at the front of her bike (just beyond the handle bars and on the front mud guard) was an open wooden box containing a child probably 3 years old.
I’m aware these things are popular in Amsterdam or Copenhagen where there’s dedicated cycle lanes and that’s fine.
But Fulham and no safety gear on either person! WTF.
I could only assume that this moron’s need to be different outweighed the need to be a responsible parent.
And I’d bet my mortgage she voted to remain and thinks all Brexiters are ‘gammon’.
9
Anal-ease Dodds?
Did she stop mid lane, flop out a tit like a sock with a lead weight in it and give junior some “bitty”?
🤢
7
Some of these beardy, soymunching wankers have the brat in a trailer behind the bike where they can’t even see the cunt! It’s the craziest bit of irresponsible parenting I’ve ever seen.
Oh, but the trailer has a little red flag at the back so that’s ok then.
7
Its all about the likes on Instagram, the kid is no more than a prop for social media. These cunts probably have a toy handbag dog that has its own Twitter page and photograph their food when they go out to eat.
3
Spot on Freddie.
Like a fucking Sinclair C5 with a canvas/plastic ‘roof’.
Absolute fucking nuts but it’s ok because they’re sporting a red flag to highlight the trailer.
3
The only bike I want to ride is Nicole Kidman or a Vincent Black Shadow👍
8
As far as I am aware, there is nothing in the Highway code that prevents you from winding down your window and shouting “cunt” at these lycra clad cockwombles as you pass them on the opposite side of the road. It always give me a smug sense of satisfaction. They don’t like it either when you come across a group of them pretending to be in the tour de France and riding in a peleton – simply slow right down in front of one of their them, it’s hysterical when you drive a bit faster as they try to pass. There is still some joy to be had with cyclists….
5
Its potholes that have pissed me off this week,
Better roads in Ukraine!
Yesterday cost me £500 for broken spring and strut on my van after hitting a pothole Evel Knievel would of thought twice about jumping.
Fuckin useless cunts making bicycle lanes, fix the fuckin roads first!
So im sipping Odin mead to cheer meself up.
Skōl!!
4
You were to busy with the mobile MNC
If you were a younger rider you would have spotted the hole in advance
0
Springs never really broke before, mabye they did prior to the 60s but they generally just got soggy
Then from early 2000 onwards and only till recently they as in some of them, just snapped
Love China and all their promises for their willingness to provide us with proper parts
2
Sorry to see you’re not having much luck with the van these days Mis. Have you got the hole fixed yet that you acquired courtesy of your failed amateur banksman?
Be putting some business the way of one of your fellow movers soon; our eldest moving from Torquay to Derby in a few weeks time.
Chin up, but I know you’re not the sort to let these misfortunes get to you!
2
Hello Arfur,
Yes the mechanic from the garage I use did it from home on a weekend for me!👍
At the end of the day its a work vehicle,
Gets some hammering,
So no point crying over it.
Torquay to Derby?
I like both.
Happy trails 👍
1
Mnc@ Round York and the surrounding areas the roads are terrible – takes some weaving about in the motor!
1
Bikes replace natural selection. No more Tigers, Lions or bears in Europe, only tipper Trucks. Result Rotting flowers strung to a lamp post.
1