Rolex is the ultimate elitist look at me toy. However, Rolex tries to give the impression that the buyers of its expensive watches are not vulgar arrivistes who want to draw attention to themselves but creative, caring types who are shaping our world.
Read this puff from an advert in the latest “Person of the Year” edition of Time magazine: “Celebrating those who shape our world. The explorers, the trailblazers, the innovators, the ones who forge new paths. Who aren´t afraid to innovate and evolve. They know their work must not merely respond to the world around them but help build a better a better one. These are the people who inspire future generations to have a lasting impact. And through this, shape our world.”
This gush is accompanied by photos of Rolexers who are presumably world shapers. Apart from Martin Scorsese, James Cameron and Roger Federer I haven´t heard of any of them – Sylvia Earle, Sonya Yoncheva, Jonas Kaufmann, Gustavo Dudamel, Miranda Wang, Gregoire Courtine, Hindou Oumarou Ibrahim, Andrew Bastawrous and Yuja Wang. Have you?
BTW if you are thinking of buying a Rolex then be aware you will be spied on. I recommend this insightful video.
Nominated by: Mr Polly
Theres a waiting list for a Rolex.
No shit, you want one you have to wait a few weeks.
Ive never really understood it,
The thing with flash watches.
Its just to tell the time,
My phone does that and other things besides.
Know a lot of blokes like posh watches,
And fair enough,
Work hard want to treat yourself.
And they don’t lose value.
But if you like flash jewellery same price you could get yourself some big hoop earrings, a sovereign ring and a pearl necklace.😁
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And that’s KPs birthday present sorted!
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Mnc@ – Some big earrings you say? 😀👍
I repair watches, 90% of the run of the mill stuff uses a Miata electronic movement, mechanical movements are a pain in the arse which require constant cleaning and servicing throughout their life and the quality of a 25 grand Rolex is no better (and often worse) than a thousand quid one – and if you want to be left open mouthed with amazement just get a quote from a Rolex accredited retailer for any service or repair work – those fkers should wear a mask and 3 cornered hat!
Want a good watch for peanuts? Timex or Casio G Shock – buy used, all they will ever need is a battery and a watch case opening kits is a tenner.
Want a fantastic quality watch for £200 or less which will last you a lifetime? Zeitner or Klaus Kobec.
I wear a lot of very expensive watches but they are ones I have repaired/refurbished and am selling, my day to day watch is a Breil – bought it for 20 quid and put a battery in it.
No time for people “of a certain type” who wave a Rolex around – “False tan wankbags” they are known as locally and from my experience are gobshites with orange girlfriends.
And never, ever buy a Chinese watch – very, very poorly made.
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My go to watch is a Sekonda I got free with a book from Reader’s Digest, some 30 odd years ago. Even if I was loaded I wouldn’t spend more than I already have, about £150, just don’t see the point.
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Big earrings, Vern, sommat to cling onto, in case you don’t have a plank to strap to your arse.
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“…And never, ever buy a Chinese watch – very, very poorly made.”
heeheehee … !’ve got one of those “waving Mao’s” and looking out for the “waving Adolf” and the “waving QE2”
It’s my understanding that Rolex source ALL their frames, plates and bridges etc from China anyway and it’s only the degree of finishing they apply that differentiates ’em.
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I bought a real Rolex from a gadgie on the Newcastle Quayside Market for a fiver back in the eighties. Got to be worth thousands now.
It didn’t keep working for very long, mind.
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Surely it was a Bolox®?
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Like Ferrari’s massively excessive jewels and holiday homes in Dubai (Great Nom👍), these are trinkets to reinforce the correct assumption of the wearer:
“Look at me-I am indeed a cunt”
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A look that says Rob me you chiggun gangstas. Make the silvery moons go full ape on you. Fuck off.
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CuntyMort@ – Expensive watches do represent a good source of income for “The stabby moped riders” shall we say!
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My Sea Dweller was a fantastic buy. I paid £3k for it about 12 years ago. It’s probably worth around £10k now. Fuck you, you cheap envious wankers.
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And my Casio cost £7-99 from Argos. I thought it would do because I don’t dwell in the sea.
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Yes, I also have cheap watches! My point is they can be a great buy.
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Bertram@ – Some Rolex watches, like art, cars etc can be a good investment – I think the nom is more about the pretentious BS surrounding Rolex, which in reality are no better than any other watch but more highly aggrandised.
Big gold Rolex? The watch of choice for football managers and nightclub owners! 😀
And make sure you keep up with the service history – it makes a huge difference in valuation.
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I too would shape our world and innovate and evolve if Rolex was paying me the $9m a year they pay Roger Federer.
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I have one that Lady C bought as a 40th birthday prezzy for me almost 20 years ago. They are vastly over-rated pieces of shite. They don’t keep time well and cost a fortune to “service”. Every wannabe cunt seems to have one as well. I never wear it on holiday or when I go to London (an increasing rarity these days) as I don’t fancy getting mugged for it. The watch I wear most is a casio analogue. Cheap, robust and an excellent time-keeper. £20 I think.
Oh yes, and it doesn’t scream “wanker” like the Rolex. I’ll give the Rolex to the kids and they can sell it and use the money for something useful.
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Can be a good investment though.
https://youtu.be/b9Y4bmbh1KY
Personally I want an Apple Watch 7, amazingly the Apple Watch 7 can warn you if your heart rate gets dangerously high during your annual wank. That’s technology working for you!
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Smart watches 👍
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Patek Phillipe owners wouldn’t be seen dead in a Rolex.
Rolex are overpriced in relation to their quality.
They remind me a bit of Range Rovers.
Who would buy a new Range Rover, when you could buy a new Toyota Land Cruiser for the same price?
The Toyota wouldn’t keep breaking down, and you wouldn’t look a cunt driving around in an overpriced scrapheap. Or constantly sat at service reception, drinking vending machine coffee, whilst the shitheap was being repaired.
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I have owned several Land Cruisers, Dick 👍👍
In Australia they say:
“If you want to go into the bush-buy a Land Rover. If you want to get out again-buy a Land Cruiser!”
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I’ve had my HJ60 since 1996 CG.
It is a complete and utter rust bucket now though.
It’s got bits of old filing cabinets, bits of an old hydraulic tank, and the metal apex of an old shed welded to it, amongst other things.
The rear cross member and chassis were cut off a donor at the spring hangers, and welded on and flitched using quarter inch plate.
It’s eaten at least a dozen tins of P40 over the years.
Underseal? I’ve got shares in Waxoil.
It had 57,000 miles on the clock when I brought it. It now has 306,000. Always starts, always gets you where you are going eventually.
Pulled the caravan up your neck of the woods no problem a couple of years ago to Ravensglass.
It doesn’t like the bottom section of the A595 very much though.
That road hasn’t changed in years.
I remember when I was lorry driving yonks back, the road went through Broughton-in-Furness, now it diverts you around it.
Anyhow…what the fuck has this got to do with Rolex’s?
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Dick-My straight six Amazon (back in the late 1990’s early 2000’s (when fuel was marginally cheaper) would get me from The Lakes to Bodmin in complete comfort and luxury, feeling totally refreshed, with a quick 10 minute leg stretch/comfort break, in the Midlands👍
*what has this got to do with the Nom? It shows reliability is worth 100x style
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I’ve looked at the 80/100 series for a replacement, as the 60 series are uncomfortable on leaf springs.
Fuel costs aren’t really an issue for me. Not many of the old 4.5 straight sixes knocking about now CG.
I’d like to go for a 4.7 V8 petrol, but I’ve become emotionally attached to my old 60 series after all our adventures together.
You must admire the Japs for fastidious engineering.
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Aye.
I admire slim, attractive Japanese ladies more-for their tight little pussies, pert nipples and their ability to make a good cuppa😉👍
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This nom reads like a LinkedIn profile.
Buy a fake, no real difference apart from the pseudo emporers nudity.
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A gold Rolex is just vulgar. People with no taste buy them.
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Cuntologist@ – And you can get an absolutely superb copy for a hundred quid if you want the look without the bucks. (I deal in watches and some of them need a serious look, weighing and opening up to discover if they are the real thing or not).
Not that I would recommend buying counterfeit goods of course, and a good “at a glance check” is if it says “quartz” on the face – I do not believe Rolex do quartz movements.
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You’d have to pay me to wear a gold Rolex or a gold anything for that matter. Even worse are watches with diamonds.
On the other hand I lost my Cartier Tank watch a few years back – hubby chucked it in the bin by mistake. You don’t happen to know where I can get a copy of one of those do you?
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They do?
Sold!!👍
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Mnc@ – Leave it to me – I know a Chinese guy who sells real Rolexes for a tenner – he keeps them under his raincoat so they don’t get wet! 😀👍
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Cuntologist@ – If you still have proof of purchase of the Cartier watch some would suggest a naughty insurance job! (Not that I ever would of course, and definitely don’t look on Ebay under the heading “homage/tribute watch” where a good quality Cartier copy can be got for around 50 quid! 😀)
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Nice one VF – didn’t know the keywords were homage/tribute! Just had a look on fleabay. Very tempted to buy a few for hubby for upcoming birthday. At those prices he can have one for every day of the week!
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Watches are gay jewelry. Telling the time has moved on. Its like perfume or kelloggs cornflakes.
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Yuja Wang is a classical pianist and a right horny little Chinky bitch. She can show me her Rolex while I wang all over her.
Dirty cow.
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And Dudamel (aka “The Dude”) is a massive cunt. If any of my deadpool noms does the decent thing, he is a shoe-in.
Kate Winniy advertises Longines, but it wouldn’t stop me buying their Lindbergh Aviator, otherwise watches are of no great interest.
Kate Winnit, however… Hornissimo.
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Still wearing my fathers Le Cheminant from 1963. Runs, looses a couple of minutes a day…. which cheers me up no end now I no longer have to clock on…..🕗
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Jm@ – If you open the back there will be a small tab in a groove with a + and a – at either end – nudge the tab very slightly towards the + end, keep the back open and the watch under cover to avoid dust ingress for 24 hours and keep gently moving the tab and repeating this until the time is consistent with no gain or loss – and when you are ready to close it back up use a new seal and a professional watch press to snap the case back fully home, they cost less than a tenner and pay for themselves the first time you use them.
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Cheers VF, just happy these days not to give a fuck what day it is let alone the time….😺
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Just so a couple of Romanian slappers can steal it
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Nah, it’s worth bugger all in the £££ dept….🕗
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Rolex and the other expensive watchmakers all charge a colossal fortune for the servicing / upkeep of their timepieces.
I’ve owned some dear watches over the years but became fed up with being without them for several months whilst they went away for repair or routine maintenance.
I recommend Seiko Citizen and Orient as reliable inexpensive watches.
Casio are also king of budget watches.
I also enjoy the throwback that is Vostok.
Anyhow luxury marketing is enough to make a chap vomit into his hat.
Join a long and secret queue to own some man jewellery?
No thanks and get fucked.
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These unfortunate rich fuckers who are desperate to prove they have made it. Worrying themselves to death about what other people think. Pathetic cunts should grow up.
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“I also enjoy the throwback that is Vostok.”
I’ll second that, bought a pair of Kommandierski’s from Moscow Time yonks ago. Brilliant things, nicely engraved backs, clever stem design that dcouples it from the movement, smart case sealing method, much cheepniss, good stuff.
That said the pawl’s just given out on my ‘mini’ Kommandierski… probaly just order a whole new movement from the Ruski’s.
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Bought a Casio digital watch for under a tenner twelve years ago. The fucker’s still going strong on the original battery. Now that’s vfm!
Fifty grand a pop watches are for chav footballers.
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They do like their shiny trinkets, Ron.
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They do indeed old son.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/premier-league-footballers-luxury-cars-14987678
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LL@ – Fancy a cheap Rolex? – I got it recently from Victor Lindelofs house! 😀
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RK@ – no better day to day watch than a Casio G Shock – and dirt cheap on Ebay!
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Vernon.
Which watch would you suggest as an investment?….£5K t price range
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I have a lovely Garrard, watchmakers to the Monarchy.
Not pretentious, just slim and elegant.
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I remember an aunt (dreadful, snobby old slapper) proudly announcing that her son (actually very decent), had got a job at Garrards
My uncle, who used his “selective deafness” very cleverly, said “What?? As a forecourt attendant?”
Aunt looked like thunder, as the image of my cousin topping up petrol and oil crossed her mind…
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I always mixed up Rolex and Durex. Soon sorted though as the Rolex slips straight off my dick.
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I use my Rolex as a cock ring. 😊
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I heard only jews wear Rolex.
😁
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LOL…..
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Bollocks to you lot!
I have 2 of the fuckers and both have gone up in value by 500% over the past 20 years.
They are ridiculously good investments.
To be honest, as watches they are shite at time keeping and it’s true that they are expensive to service.
Admittedly, I rarely wear the most expensive one that I own because I don’t want to come across as a flash cunt to my punters.
Both will go to the young Cunter when I snuff it.
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And just to annoy you more…..
I brought both of them in Dubai.
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Aaah fakes😢
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DF@ – Evening Sir Fiddler – apologies, couldn’t comment on your earlier post – the best investment in the 5K Rolex Range is the Submariner – always popular, virtually indestructible and appreciating assets – but buyers need to make sure the watch is real (check the serial numbers against the Rolex database), is in perfect physical and mechanical condition, has full service history and has the original sales receipt, box and papers – good watches to wear, a very good bet for investment purposes and not quite as pretentious as the “used car salesman/footballer” models but for maximum investment return they have to be 100% right.
And, wise to note – high value items may not be individually covered under the house insurance terms for their full value so well worth mentioning to the insurance company and setting an agreed value taking appreciation into account and reviewing said value annually with them.
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Thanks for that,Vern. Trouble is that I really wouldn’t know enough about what I was looking at and I’m guessing that there will be some very convincing fakes.
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I’m sorry to say I think you’ve missed the bus DFF.
If you had bought a Rolex sports model,submariner explorer or even a daytona 20 odd years back when they were sensibly priced you would be wearing a watch that had appreciated very nicely in the intervening years.
Now it’s very difficult..
If they produce a submariner with a new bezel colour or other subtle change it might be worth buying in case it becomes a cult classic.
If you can’t be arsed with the palaver stick the brass into bit coin and enjoy the ride😀
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Aye,you could well be right,Unkle T. It’s not like I’d wear it anyhow….I just use cheap watches.
I’m really just interested in having a long-shot punt at something for a bit of interest…might buy a share in a race-horse..at least I’d have a few decent days out watching it.
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Gibson and Martin Guitars, Lord F👍
My mate has a studio full and they have doubled in value, in a decade👍
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Bit like the watches I’m afraid,General….I wouldn’t know a good one from a bad one and would probably end up buying a rip-off.
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Dick; buy nothing till you’ve had a good ol’ poke around in Watch-U-Seek’s “Rolex Fake-Busters” forum. These boys REALLY know their onions and will steer you right.
https://www.watchuseek.com/forums/rolex-tudor-fake-busters.505/
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Nadal wore a 1 million dollar watch playing in the French open final, but he was still tugging his shorts out of his crack 😂
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Sort of sums it all up, does that.
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Foxy@
I don’t wear a watch.
They break within a couple of weeks!
Break the glass or the links in the strap.
Bit delicate aren’t they?
Ive a solid silver Victorian pocket watch in a draw somewhere,
Found it on a house clearance.
Reckon its worth a few quid?
I might wear it?
When some Del boy or Avvi Goldberg flashes their Rolex I can snear and say
“How vulgar, sniff.
I only wear a Victorian time piece.
This watch belonged to Aleister Crowley”.
Out-flash em😁👍
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Better still, “this watch belonged to Jack the Ripper”. 😁
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Even better, “my great-great-grandfather, Jack the Ripper”. 😃👍
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Evening Ruff👍
After I posted it I did think ‘or Jack the Ripper’!
Much better.
You wear a watch Ruff?
I wouldn’t figure you for anything ‘flashy’ if so?
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Evening Miserable.
Not worn a watch since the 1990s. I don’t wear jewellery of any description. Not even my wedding ring. Fucking horrible stuff.
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I would never buy or wear a Rolex. Folk are often mugged for their Rolex, Brietling or Omega.
Simply not worth the risk.
When my going out watch was made, it was the most expensive watch in the world at 2000USD in 1972. It is a Pulsar stainless steel LED watch. The first ever LED watch – you can pick them up for a few hundred nowadays but they are ramping up in price. The later P4 model is a seriously good looking watch, in a space-age way and the build quality is superb.
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Mnc@ – Yep, popped glass or pulled links, every time – a Casio G Shock is a good choice, they take real hammer and are easy to see/read.
I generally don’t wear a watch when working because I am usually knee deep in sawdust, glue, muck etc and just use the phone.
Check out for a hallmark and also the brand of the fob watch – some of the silver ones are only worth the scrap weight of the metal but some have some pretty hefty value – and there is no better feeling in the world than glaring at a fob watch then some working class type through ones Pince-Nez glasses and declaring “I am late, little Man – be orf with you”! 😀
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Got a good watch from Kellogg’s cornflakes once ” with the big fuckin chicken on the dial” ( for the kids ? ) still works fine, red and green strap, green case. Wear it when out for a pint, always starts a conversation..🍺
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Smiths watches were everywhere when I was young.
Clunky and unrefined, they would keep you awake at night.
I’m sure mine was called a Smith’s “Empire”.
Had to put it in a box at night, it was that loud.
British quality at it’s best!
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If a Rolex or a mechanical timepiece stops.
Don’t spend a fortune at the jewellers.
Give it a sharp tap on a wooden surface.
Works 95% of the time.
Occasionally though it can move the regulator slightly.
I wonder if there is any way of regulating a timepiece accurately without the equipment, without using the painful trial and error process?
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Simply can’t be done Dock I’m afraid.
A modern alternative is a quartz movement that “ticks like an automatic.
Cheap as chips these days.
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FFS DICK
You fucking bossy cunt of a Korean cunt of a phone.
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All this talk of watches reminds me of a tale i heard from an old timer, years ago.
I got chatting to this lovely old chap in a country pub dahn sarf.
When I told him I was from the lakes, he asked me if I knew Wrynose & Hardknott passes.
Of course I fucking well do👍
He told me that as part of his National Service training, they had to learn to drive. To drive fucking big army trucks, to be precise. Many of these working class lads had never even driven before.
To make sure they tried “very hard” not to roll backwards on the steep hills and to master clutch control, the trainers made all the recruits take of their wrist watches and lined them up behind the back wheels😳
No pressure there, then👍
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If you have a few minutes to spare and are wondering what these passes are like, watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6apbooDqFbY
👍
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This one is better:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Cf7RUwxWhI
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https://youtu.be/P9sg22ajtDc
CG@
Check this out,
Winnats pass were we drive into Castleton most weekends.
Dick vandyke will attest its steep!!
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Mis: how can people want to leave Dear old Blighty, with natural beauty like this👍
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Wrynose is a similar gradient to Winnats, relatively steep but not too twisty.
Hardknott is much worse. I find it worse ascending from the Boot end as apposed to the Cockley Beck end. At least from Cockley Beck you can see the descending traffic and the bends ahead.
Stupid tourists block that first bad hairpin coming from Boot end by not allowing ascending traffic the right of way, (CG will know exactly where I mean), The drop on the offside is a long way down, and it ends up in a clutch burnfest by panicking tourists who did not expect the road to be so poor.
People descending don’t look further than the end if their bonnets, to see if anything is coming uphill.
Plus you seem to lose sight of the tarmac climbing up from Boot.
I got semi pissed on 6 pints of Old Peculiar in that boozer at Eskdale. Then drove a Mk1 transit with a Perkins 4.108 in it, back over the passes back to Ambleside, on shitty 7” sealed beam headlamps, it was pitch black. I can remember the passenger door flying open on a hairpin. I made it though.
Back in the days of Bedford vans and other underpowered piles of crap, you had to keep moving on stuff like Hardknott. Stopping was not an option in places, as you wouldn’t get going again. Plus handbrakes were shoddy. Hand throttles were useful on Petrol Land Rovers in similar situations, as you could cover the footbrake with one foot and release the clutch with the other.
Ebchester bank in County Durham was awful in a lorry, it used to give me the shits every time. I’d light a fag at the bottom and nervously suck on it until I got to the top.
You were supposed to give way towards the top as the parallel road at the staggered crossroads had priority.
It was three quarter throttle in crawler, and I wasn’t giving way to no one!
Happy days.
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I brought a fake rolex in Thailand. At least it tells the right time 2 times a day. Peice of crap.
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