People who stick things up their arse for sexual gratification are prize cunts.
But what really makes them cunts is what trey expect us to believe what ‘actually’ happened. As a wise man once said
“if you’re going to make an arse of yourself, don’t make up a long complicated story afterwards and expect people to believe it. You know it makes sense”
This is probably the same cunt who got a broken nose by walking into a door. Yeah right. ‘course you did.
Anyhow, it made I larf…
Nominated by: Dioclese
I knew a Nurse that was o A@E.
One night this bloke came in with something stuck up his arse.
Allegedly it was Fred Dineage.
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I trying to think of the scenario of the result of that x-ray.
It must be a kid’s toy. If it’s the dad then it’s could be Philip Schofield or a similar type. More likely it’s a bloke babysitting someone’s kid. Maybe an uncle was helping out?
And saw little Timmy playing with his Buzz Lightyear and couldn’t wait to send him to his room so he could have Buzz all to himself.
Uncle Woofter: Time for bed, Timmy.
Timmy: But it’s only seven o’clock. Mummy says I can stay up until..
Uncle Woofter: Bed you little shit. Now. Or I’ll put monsters under your bed. Oh, and leave that Buzz Lightyear here. It’s ..erm… bad luck to take him to a bedroom. He loses his magic powers or something.
(Timmy runs upstairs crying and slams door)
Uncle Woofer: Ah, Buzz now we are alone…
Fucking disgraceful.
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Loose fitting dressing gown slipped fell on the vegetable rack. Chap in America inserted a lightbulb up his arse got stuck, off to hospital doctors worried that if the bulb shattered during removal his colon would be minced. Solved the problem by attaching a bulb holder to a cane using epoxy adhesive, waited till adhesive had set then stuck cane and holder up the deviants arse and managed to screw bulb to holder the whole shebang was slowly withdrawn from the idiots arse aided by lots of lube.
Have also been told about some deviant who makes a habit of shoving keys, coins and bottle tops up his arse cos he gets a big thrill when the doctors fiddle about and attempt removal of said objects. Cunts one and all.
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This thread has been truly eye-opening.
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Brown eye?
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And eye-watering.
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https://metro.co.uk/2021/12/05/bomb-squad-called-after-doctors-find-wwii-shell-stuck-up-mans-bum-15710207/amp/
I reckon this might fit the bill.
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Bomb blaster
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Now THERE’S a thrillseeker.
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Bollocks, should have had less beer before posting. What a cunt I am.
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I had a terribly traumatic experience last year.
I was resting on my bed when this tall well spoken chap with a dark complexion stuck a needle in the back of my hand which made me feel quite woozy. I vaguely remember him holding this long black thing dripping with lube in his hand and with a salacious grin , turned me on my side. I felt the twitching tip of his black tool being pushed up my hoop.This went on for ages with him pushing it in and pulling it out a bit and I could feel
this warm fluid being squirted in my rectum.
What the fuck is going on,I thought before losing consciousness.
When I came to this woman in a nurse’s uniform said,
“Your colonoscopy went fine,Mr XXXXXX.
Would you like a cup of tea and a biscuit?
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