I often have to wait in a print shop for work to be done and have noticed that the walls are covered with “inspirational” slogans and “motivating” quotes that would drive me mad if I had to work there.
Here is a sample to illustrate the sheer crassness and banality of the “message” behind them: “Negative Thinking Banned Here”, “Live, Love and Laugh”, “Do Everything with Love, “Live Your Dream”, “Every Setback is an Opportunity”, “You Learn More from Failure than Success”, “Don´t Regret the Past – Learn from It”, “You Get the Best View After the Toughest Climb” and “Today´s Gonna be Fuckin´ Awesome”.
Is anybody really inspired or motivated by this kind of muddled mushy drivel?
Whatever happened to “You don´t have to be crazy to work here but it helps”? Presumably in today´s world of globalspeak and universal wokeness the word “crazy” would not be used in case it offended some nutcase, oops sorry poor misunderstood victim soul.
Nominated by: Mr Polly
“You have 2 ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion”.
The reply should be…….
“Well you have 2 legs and one head, so perhaps you should stop thinking so much and fuck off more”
14
“One head and one arsehole; they go together like gin and bitters.”
My message to self? Every day passed is one day closer to my demise! “
1
Any quote attributed to and accompanied by a picture of Dave Grohl on Facebook does my head in.
Why? Is he really some sort of sage?
4
Dave Grohl is nicknamed ‘the nicest man in rock’.
Which is a bold and unproven claim.
I know for a fact that Gary Glitter gave out 10p mixes and Lucky bags!
It doesn’t get much nicer than that..
14
And Jacko was even nicer allegedly.
4
FMC, maybe but not as nice as Sir Cliff. If kids promise not to grass him up to the Rozzers of Op Yew Tree he lets them touch his colostomy bag!
2
Dave Grogl deserves a cunting, all of his own.
smarmier than Macca.
9
@MNC.
“There’s many a mickle that makes a muckle”
“I’ll go to the foot of our stairs”
“I’m not as green as cabbage like”
What the fuck is that all about, eh?
Explain yourself.
3
Artie@
Fuck knows.
But us northerners are famed for talking bollocks,
We learn it young at the hands of parents with a tenuous grasp on reality.
‘Put t wood int hole’
Were thy born in a barn?
I just ignored them.😀
3
Yes, but problems are the pregnant mothers of solutions.
4
“Children on the back seats of cars cause accidents.”…!!
0
There is a bloke I used to work with, thinks he is some sort of Jeff Bezos type of player
Nowadays, in reality he is a Claims Manager for a motor insurance company and lives on Canvey Island
Nothing wrong with that at all but on his Twitter account he has the slogan
“I never lose, I either win or learn”
What an absolute thundercunt.
15
there’s a bit missing.
I never lose, I either win or learn nothing
it was covered in space dust
oops more space dust bear with me.
but what a fucktard i am.
3
He’s on Twitter so he must be a bit of a cunt already.
2
‘Live your best life’.
I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what that means.
Morning all.
6
Looking at the people who use it, I think i means ‘be a narcissistic , infantile cunt’
0
Some of my favourites:
“Credit will only be given to persons over 85, accompanied by both parents”
On the back of an associate’s truck(s):
“Thou shalt not steal-the government hates competition”
And that old “Remember, a stranger is just a friend, you haven’t met yet”, should be revised to:
“Remember, a stranger is just a CUNT, you haven’t met yet”
😀👍
12
My favourite was on the back of a work van.
“Veiculo shorto “
4
‘A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met’? That’s not what I was taught at school.
0
Look busy and keep your pecker up.
1
Have a look on Rightmove-you will see some real “Gems”👍
People who plaster their houses with inane slogans, all over the fucking house😂
In the bathroom:
Bathe. Soak. Why not “Shit”?
In the Bedroom:
Sleep. Dream. Love. Why not “Fuck”?
In the kitchen:
Live-laugh-love. It’s wine-o’clock.
Family.
Why not-“sit down, shut up and fucking eat!”?
I suggest a simple slogan on the front door:
“No Cunts allowed”
🤔
8
Google used to have the slogan “Don’t be evil”.
They decided to drop it a few years back when they realised the future was in being evil. They may be evil but they’re not hypocrites
9
I can’t stand cunts who have stupid slogans on their coffee mugs, or those who say things like indeedy doodee, yes indeedy and exactomundo.
5
“1AM? Really? Had you watched the BBC you would see we were held hostage in the pub”!
“I thought you were awake so I started”!
“Who Officer – me”?
“I’m unarmed Alec”!
All the quotes and slogans a Man will ever need 😃👍
2
I have an inspirational quote, infact it’s my family moto, it’s goes-show me the money cunt….
2
Almost as bad as cunts with tattoos like ‘Carpe Diem’, sends my piss into superheat.
‘Everybody is a cunt, they either don’t know it or won’t admit it’ is the only slogan needed.
4
Or the downmarket version of Carpe diem, YOLO.
0
I’m waiting for that fucking hideous Markle cum dump to appear on one of those motivational poster things. I’m going buy one then draw spectacles and a beard on her face……then I’m going to shit on it!
1
Dave Grohl will forever dine out on his three and a half years as Nirvana’s drummer. He will forever live in Kurt Cobain’s shadow. Cobain was a far superior song writer, singer and front man.
I bought Grohl’s auto-biography (heavily discounted) hoping to get an insider’s view on the rise and demise of Nirvana. Two superficial chapters, TWO. The rest was celebrity name dropping! A cynic would believe that Grohl was unwilling to divulge too much, lest he run out of ‘Kurt’ anecdotes to drip feed the sycophantic media.
Live, the ‘Poo Shiters’ are terrible. Just listen to Grohl bellowing, screaming and swearing (rather than singing) out of breath, off key. What a prize cunt. They are way past their prime and their best. A socially acceptable Nickelback.
His first two Foo Fighter’s Albums were impressive rock achievements; every album since has progressed more and more into middle of the road, stale ear cack.
Stick to playing the drums Dave.
2
‘A socially acceptable Nickelback’
I don’t entirely agree but it made me laugh.
0
Part of my previous comment somehow became a new name.
0
I have a sign on my shed that says “shut up or fuck off, preferably both, in either order”.
Inspires people nicely to do what’s right
1
Any of the old shit that women or dopey blokes used to post on their Facebook feeds, including lists of things ‘you shouldn’t joke about’. That individual was an old woman who worked for the council.
There used to be a few quotes accompanied by photos of vikings or Game of Thrones characters. One was ‘I’m not looking for a princess to rescue, but a queen to stand with me in battle’.
My reply; ‘when you say ‘queen’… followed by a picture of Danny La Rue.
Most people tended to get it apart from the broody neckbeards who believed they were the characters they played in Dungeons and Dragons.
1